Thrive in Catastrophe Chapter 80

"You are the one who transferred Xiao Yan to his own research project. If you hadn't perhaps I never would have run into him."

"There were countless researchers in my lab! You didn't fall in love with them. On the contrary, Xiao Yan is the only one who never failed to comfort me!" Casey broke out in a yell.

"Hmm....I should be with him in s.h.i.+re." The expression on Jane's face became unreadable.

"Well if you want to see him so badly I can always send you back to the s.h.i.+re."

"Don't worry so much, we will definitely meet again."

"Hey, Jane."

"Hm?"

'He is not for you. You can do whatever you want in this world, you can control your survival...your death...but you can't have Xiao Yan."

"It is not that he is not for me, it is that I don't suit him. I won't do anything stupid." Jane wearily closed his eyes.

"What stupid thing?"

"For example, act like Valentin and subvert the orders of the world to achieve what I want. Even if everything turns on its head, my impression of Xiao Yan will remain...and the reality of his feelings will stay the same."

"You are self-aware at least." Casey snorted but didn't push the conversation further.
__________

The antiviral agent was sent back to the s.h.i.+re and the medics injected Xiao Yan with the drug after confirming its safety. Throughout the process, Ervel ,Gordon and even Xia monitored Xiao's brain waves.

As the drug pushes into Xiao Yan's body, everyone stood with bated breath. His neural feedback slowly gains activity and the holographic display monitors the progress.

He murmurs in his sleep and turns over.

Xia stands in front of the screen and chuckles. "He is dreaming, that is a good sign. It means there is subconscious activity."

Gordon and Ervel looked at each other and let out a collective sigh of relief.

The medical unit said that Xiao Yan's signs were normal, and now he only needs to wake up.
Ervel personally tested Xiao's blood and found that the suffix was gradually degrading. Xiao Yan is transferred from the isolation ward to a regular room.

"This antiviral agent was developed by Casey. Does this make you happy?" Major General Gordon twitched his lips, and if there was a deeper meaning to his smile.

"Jane Wallace has escaped again. You will feel gratified only if you know where he is going. The Surge will spare no effort to hunt down Jane. He has become the perfect bait, now you only need to wait for Valentine to appear."

"This is either an opportunity or a disaster." Gordon laughed to himself. "But to survive, perhaps desperation is necessary."

Xiao Yan, who has slept fitfully this whole time, finally licks his lips and opens his eyes.

Someone is lying next to him. Arms circle his neck and his back is pressed against a solid heat. A steady stroking motion gently grazes his forehead continuously.

Xiao Yan s.h.i.+fted lazily and opened his eyes.

The sight of a powerful jaw line leaves Xiao Yan stunned.

This... is a man!

Xiao Yan clearly saw who that man was and every cell in his body shuddered violently. His body followed suit and he almost fell from the bed before he was caught by a strong arm.

"B--... Colonel Burton!"

What the h.e.l.l? What happened? How could he be lying with Colonel Burton?

"You are awake. Is there any discomfort?"

Xiao looked around to discover that he wasn't in his room. This place was too spa.r.s.e and simple, there was no sense warmth. As a medic walked in, Xiao realized that he was in the hospital.

Heine was lying on his side, still in uniform, holding Xiao tightly to his chest. A distressed Xiao Yan felt his breath freeze in his throat.

What was going on? Did Burton crush his shoulders? Twist his arm off? Though he feels there is more wrong with his head than anything else.

The medic walked up to Xiao Yan and a performed a comprehensive examination. He asked several questions and they seemed quite satisfied with his answers.

"These are all questions related to mental acuity. Questions that utilize logic, spatial reasoning, and deduction....but what happened?"

Heine was now seated on the side of the bed. Xiao watched his brow as his hand reached toward him, sweeping his hair to the side. Xiao felt his heart beat through his chest. Ah, how could he be so careless, this man will not hesitate to twist off his arm!

Finally the Major, who was responsible for Xiao's treatment, explained the situation to him. Throughout his explanation, Xiao sat with an utterly blank look on his face.

"What...you said I was kidnapped by Jane Wallace? He was undercover with the Surge? Even Casey was..."

Xiao Yan was mentally in the same s.p.a.ce he was when he and Casey would play around in the central square. A memory flashed faintly through him. He saw himself sitting in a corner, his heart tight with antic.i.p.ation. Jane Wallace walks in and injects him with the x-virus. Then the memory abruptly cuts off and everything slips through his mind like grains of sand. All his memories are disordered and muddled, messily entangled and wrapping around the other in fragments.

The man next to him leaned down with one hand grasping his waist, the other cupped his face and his breath dragged his thoughts to the present.

"Remember my name." His low voice was a both a question and a command.

"...Heine Burton..."

In the next moment his lips were taken by Heine's and the tip of his tongue pushed into his mouth. He deepened the kiss and Xiao's eyes flew wide open. As he angled his head and attained more intimate contact, Xiao's thoughts collapsed and scatter in all directions. He saw himself being pushed onto a sofa, a violent thrusting collision threatens to break his entire body. The memory jolts through him and he suddenly struggles.

His body moved without thought, he pushed hard against Heine's shoulders and lifted his legs to maneuver away. Then he was firmly pressed back into Heine's arms.

Heine's mouth lifts from his lips and something strange burns in his eyes, similar to the memory that just invaded his mind.

"Why....why..." Xiao opened his mouth but the words didn't come. Suddenly his shoulders were grasped by Heine and Xiao shrank to the far corner of the bed, precariously hanging at the edge.

Something flickers across Heine's normally stoic face and the deeper meaning behind it cut deep into Xiao, but he cannot place the feeling.

"What do you mean why?"

Of course I mean why are you here! Don't you hate me?! I still remember quite clearly when I accidently brushed your lips at the nuclear power plant...you went after my life! You broke my shoulder! You dislocated my shoulder at the bar!

Despite his indignant inner dialogue, Xiao found he couldn't say a word, he just looked up helplessly into Heine's eyes. They rippled with unfathomable depth and he felt that Heine's self-control was swallowed by something he didn't understand.

"You are already mine, remember."

His tone was imperative. Heine s.h.i.+fts his upper body to pull Xiao closer.

Countless images of them kissing flash through Xiao's mind.

AH! He must have lost his mind. Xiao Yan can't believe this is Heine Burton.

He frowned and held his head. So many memories were colliding and overlapping that Xiao doesn't know how to to align properly. He cannot seem to access his memory in any type of coherent fas.h.i.+on.

He remembered following Heine's troops on a mission. Heine's craft had moved between old buildings, then he remembers being stabbed outside the Academy restaurant by a Surge a.s.sa.s.sin. Someone is desperately kissing him with a frantic force. When he opens his eyes he sees chillingly fearsome eyes. As Xiao's mind wandered amid the debris, he saw Heine training him.

He patiently helps him learn to rock climb, step by step. Then he recalls Heine's unresponsive body heavily leaning onto him and he leaves him in a reactor. There is a heavy sense of desperation but he leaves without any hesitation....then...

Ah...what are these visions? How did this happen?

What is the feeling of uncontrollable feeling in my heart?

His hands pressed against the side of his head until he heard a slight crack.

Heine roughly grabbed his wrist and ordered coldly, "Stop!"

Xiao Yan looked up and their gazes collided.

"You still have x virus in your body, you will crush your skull."

Xiao Yan swallowed slowly and Heine released his hand reluctantly. "Tell me what's happening to you."

"My mind...memories can't keep up. I remember...I remember...but I just can't get a complete picture."

So many memories are mixed together, there is no way to properly recall. Xiao reveals a confused and agitated look. He is clearly distressed.

"Then do not think about anything."

This simple sentence works like a termination switch and Xiao's chaotic mind stops.

Heine's palm pressed against the back of Xiao Yan's head and he pulled him into his arms. The uneasiness in Xiao's heart instantly settled.

"Calm your breathing."

Heine's voice was like a cooling breeze on Xiao's nerves, he wrestled control of his breathing and, with his ear pressed against Heine's steady heartbeat, the chaos churning within him quiets.

"Control your thinking, don't be afraid of it. These are all the memories of things that have happened already. They cannot hurt you. Resisting them will not obliterate their existence."

His voice is hypnotic and Xiao Yan's memories stop pulsing in with such cras.h.i.+ng intensity. Instead the fragments that spin through are light and rea.s.suring.

He remembers lying in a dark enclosed s.p.a.ce, curled up in a bed. His head is hot with fever and Heine sits at his side, the sensation of his warm palm on his forehead is the clearest feeling in the world.

News of Xiao's memory confusion soon spreads to Ervel, who hurried to the medical unit.

"Hey, Xiao Yan...Do you remember who I am?" General Ervel sat opposite Xiao Yan and smiled softly.

Xiao Yan squinted for a moment but did not answer with certainty. "You are Lieutenant General Ervel, the leader of the Central Academy of Sciences..."

This made Ervel relax slightly. He and Xiao had only seen each other a few times so if Xiao remembers him then that means Xiao does not have amnesia. As long as his logic and memory are not affected then they don't need to abandon the projects that urgently need Xiao Yan.

At this point Ervel notices that Xiao is leaning on the opposite side of the bed as Heine, instead of relying on Heine he seems to be maneuvering away from him. This body language leaves Ervel a little worried.

"If the question is about memory than we need someone who is a specialist. We must ask him for help." Ervel suggests this directly to Heine.

At this time, Maya walked into the room with a small potted plant. "Hey... are you okay? You haven't forgotten who I am, right?"

Xiao Yan frowned and stared at Maya. Suddenly, the picture of Maya falling in a pool of blood appeared in his mind. He almost jumped from the shock. "Maya - your legs! Your hand !Maa..."
The memory played through as if it were just happening now.

Heine grabbed his shoulder and Maya's breath rushed out as he held his artificial limb. "Hey don't worry. Look. I am fine and standing right in front of you." It may be a prosthetic but the sensation and range of motion is the same.

"...Why did you cut your hair off?" Xiao Yan scratched his head as he searched for the memories.

" Hey! I think short hair suits me more? Don't you think I am much more handsome now? Don't worry about it." Maya hurried forward to stop Xiao Yan, hoping he could prevent Xiao from remembering the reason for the cut.

"How is that possible?! You obviously love your hair..."

Maya didn't know how to stop Xiao Yan's trace of that memory, Winn, Liv and Mark arrived, and his big voice instantly distracted Xiao Yan's attention.

Xiao Yan is quite distressed. Everyone who visits him, be it Liv or Mark, he can recognize them but the memories that come forth pull at his nerves as though it was just occurring. He remembers Major Winn as his instructor and conversations with Liv and Mark. He remembers more of Casey ad Jane's betrayal, even Casey pretending to be injured. He remembers the a.s.sa.s.sins and how much he wants to save him before his injected the accelerator into Heine. After that the memory is blurred. Everything is so hard to accept and huge blank chunks interrupt the flow of his recall.

Heine got up and grabbed a military uniform for Xiao Yan. "We have to go to the torture force."
They have instruments dedicated to memory evaluation and recall. The medical force are not the experts in thoughts, that is the torture force's specialty.

As Heine's arm circled Xiao's shoulder, his warm breath spread over his neck. Xiao felt an indescribable pleasure snake through his heart. He almost couldn't restrain the impulse to approach him. Suddenly a skeleton crus.h.i.+ng kiss flickers through his mind. Xiao suddenly lifted his collar and rolled out of the bed. "Thank you."

Which was the real Heine Burton? The ice cold one? The ruthless Heine? The distant Heine? Or this steady minded gentle man next to him?

Shouldn't he be telling him coldly that these things were 'dirty' or that 'he would break his fingers one by one'?

Now Heine Burton is not only lying in bed with him, but is putting his clothes on for him. G.o.d! This must be a prelude to death. A gentle gesture for now may transform into a very painful lesson later?

Xiao Yan's world view is shattered.

Is there a way for things to go back to normal? Though Xiao felt uncertain what normal was anymore?

Finally someone came to save him.

"Dear Xiao Yan, you haven't forgotten me!"

A woman in a female military uniform stood at the door with a large bouquet of flowers, and her graceful legs instantly caught Xiao Yan's attention.

"... Lily?" Xiao Yan was stunned.

Thank G.o.d! In his time of need his graceful G.o.ddess has appeared in front of him and is even holding a bunch of flowers!

" Good, they said that your memory has some problems, I thought you might have forgotten me."

"How could I?! We are cla.s.smates!"

"Refresh your memory." Lily's finger pressed playfully against Xiao's forehead but the intensity coiling out from Heine Burton's eyes forced her to quickly drop her arm. "Now I am the liaison officer for General Ervel."

"Congratulations...you..." Xiao Yan remembered that Maya had mentioned that Lily had pa.s.sed the liaison officer's a.s.sessment exam.

Feeling a low pressure disturb the air, Liv grabbed the flower and smelled them. "Are these not artificially cultivated?"

"Your nose is quite sharp. This what my friend brought back when he went on a mission. Xiao isn't the type to enjoy the cultivated flowers inside the s.h.i.+re. Too uniform, always the same arrangement and appearance."

"You really know me!" Xiao yelled happily.

In the next instant, Xiao wrist throbbed as Heine's grip tightens down with a frightening force.

The mood of the room s.h.i.+fted dramatically and Xiao swallowed. "Thank you. I have to go to the torture force, apparently the only one who can help me with my memory is General Xia."

Liv received a signal for help from Xiao Yan. "Ah. The torture force. That is not a great place to recuperate, allow me to go with you."

Saved! If he and Colonel Burton continue to stay alone together, he will definitely die...slowly and painfully!

Heine led the way and Xiao trailed far behind him.

"Hey, Liv... What happened to Colonel Burton?" Xiao Yan asked his voice in a low whisper.

"What's wrong?"

"When I woke today he was lying beside me in bed! I am not kidding..." Xiao closed his eyes and clutched his heart dramatically, his expression exaggerated and horrified. "I almost died of shock."

"You were shocked?"

"That...He is Heine Burton!" Xiao hissed.

"Well...about Colonel Burton, what do you remember?"

"You warning me that if I look at him again you will poke my eyes out."

"When did I say this?" Liv frowned.

"When we met for the first time." Xiao Yan's expression "How can you not remember, makes me very wronged".

"Okay... okay..." Liv shook her head helplessly. "What else?"

"He is a clean freak germophobe and made Mark spend 10 minutes cleaning zombie remains off of his boots before he could enter the aircraft. Also when I accidently brushed against his mouth...he almost killed me."

Although Xiao is whispering his emotions become very excited. It is not difficult to see that he think getting close to Colonel Burton is tantamount to suicide.

"Well I'm sure that if you accidently smashed your mouth on the Colonel right here, " Liv said, licking her lips and smirking. "He will not kill you. Though he might throw you down and have a go at you. Don't worry, I will prepare the nutrients."

"Preparing nutrients? Why?"

Liv squeezed his face hard. "You are silly!"

They took a maglev car to the torture force. Along the way, Xiao looked out the window to see a very different s.h.i.+re than he remembered.

"Shouldn't there be a shopping mall there? Where is the gianthologeaphic screen? When did all this construction start?"

"The entire city is being rebuilt after the Surge invasion." Heine's voice is flat and cold.

Xiao Yan did not have the nerve to take a close look at Heine at the hospital. Now that he sees his profile, something in his memory overlaps. He looks at the delicate line of his eyes and the curve of his brow. Heine senses Xiao's gaze and leans over Xiao, resting his palm on the window by his ear as he leans in toward him.

Xiao Yan quickly turned his head away from Heine's approach and his lips fell on his neck. He shrugged his shoulders as Heine's breath elicited a shudder that ran through his body, heart and mind. His thoughts began to fall apart.

Colonel... Please don't do this anymore... Although you are really a rare beauty man, I still prefer female beauties...

G.o.d! What is this leap in Heine's att.i.tude from twisting his limbs off to this type of situation? The gap is just too large. Xiao is determined to recover these parts of his memory or he is certain that by the end of this, all of his bones will be broken.

Liv coughed and Xiao Yan realized they were outside of the torture force headquarters.

General Xia has been anxiously waiting for them.

Xiao Yan circled the office as Heine and Xia discussed something.

"Hey the Boss is not as terrible as you think. He has saved your life many times." Liv approached Xiao with a gentle expression.

"Hm..." Xiao sees a mental image of him on Heine's shoulder as he bursts through countless zombies.

Finally General Xia ushers Xiao Yan into his office.

"It's nice to see you have woken up, ensign. Or I should call you Major Xiao Yan."

"What?"

Is it a lieutenant or a major? My brain is very messy now....Ah...no matter which it is, don't mess up my brain any further!

"It seems that Colonel Burton has not told you. Because of your outstanding research ability General Ervel has promoted you to major. The promotion will allow you to not only continue your research, but personally select an a.s.sistant."

"My outstanding... research ability?"

"Yes....well...I can already see that your memory is a bit confused. Don't worry, I will help you adjust." Xia's voice is calm and his smile is rea.s.suring.

"So what is the situation with me? The medical team says I don't have amnesia, but rather a memory disorder."

****** Thank you to those in the comments that were indignant on my behalf. That makes me feel better about being so irritated.

So...yea....Xiao's memory is a bit...errr...sluggish...I am very interested to know what everyone thinks about this particular part of the story. I had completely forgotten about it. You have probably noticed that the author doesn't tend to put things in gratuitously; there is typically a deeper reason that fits into the story/ character development. As all of this plays out I am curious as to what purpose you think this part of the story fulfills. I have some theories, but honestly it kinda stumped me.