Toaster's Handbook Part 76

You’re reading novel Toaster's Handbook Part 76 online at LightNovelFree.com. Please use the follow button to get notification about the latest chapter next time when you visit LightNovelFree.com. Use F11 button to read novel in full-screen(PC only). Drop by anytime you want to read free – fast – latest novel. It’s great if you could leave a comment, share your opinion about the new chapters, new novel with others on the internet. We’ll do our best to bring you the finest, latest novel everyday. Enjoy!

FLIES

_See_ Pure food.

FLIRTATION

It sometimes takes a girl a long time to learn that a flirtation is attention without intention.

"There's a belief that summer girls are always fickle."

"Yes, I got engaged on that theory, but it looks as if I'm in for a wedding or a breach of promise suit."

A teacher in one of the primary grades of the public school had noticed a striking platonic friends.h.i.+p that existed between Tommy and little Mary, two of her pupils.

Tommy was a bright enough youngster, but he wasn't disposed to prosecute his studies with much energy, and his teacher said that unless he stirred himself before the end of the year he wouldn't be promoted.

"You must study harder," she told him, "or you won't pa.s.s. How would you like to stay back in this cla.s.s another year and have little Mary go ahead of you?"

"Ah," said Tommy. "I guess there'll be other little Marys."

FLOWERS

Lulu was watching her mother working among the flowers. "Mama, I know why flowers grow," she said; "they want to get out of the dirt."

FOOD

A man went into a southern restaurant not long ago and asked for a piece of old-fas.h.i.+oned Was.h.i.+ngton pie. The waiter, not understanding and yet unwilling to concede his lack of knowledge, brought the customer a piece of chocolate cake.

"No, no, my friend," said the smiling man. "I meant _George_ Was.h.i.+ngton, not _Booker_ Was.h.i.+ngton."

One day a pastor was calling upon a dear old lady, one of the "pillars"

of the church to which they both belonged. As he thought of her long and useful life, and looked upon her sweet, placid countenance bearing but few tokens of her ninety-two years of earthly pilgrimage, he was moved to ask her, "My dear Mrs. S., what has been the chief source of your strength and sustenance during all these years? What has appealed to you as the real basis of your unusual vigor of mind and body, and has been to you an unfailing comfort through joy and sorrow? Tell me, that I may pa.s.s the secret on to others, and, if possible, profit by it myself."

The old lady thought a moment, then lifting her eyes, dim with age, yet kindling with sweet memories of the past, answered briefly, "Victuals."--_Sarah L. Tenney_.

A girl reading in a paper that fish was excellent brain-food wrote to the editor:

_Dear Sir_: Seeing as you say how fish is good for the brains, what kind of fish shall I eat?

To this the editor replied:

_Dear Miss_: Judging from the composition of your letter I should advise you to eat a whale.

A hungry customer seated himself at a table in a quick-lunch restaurant and ordered a chicken pie. When it arrived he raised the lid and sat gazing at the contents intently for a while. Finally he called the waiter.

"Look here, Sam," he said, "what did I order?"

"Chicken pie, sah."

"And what have you brought me?"

"Chicken pie, sah."

"Chicken pie, you black rascal!" the customer replied. "Chicken pie?

Why, there's not a piece of chicken in it, and never was."

"Dat's right, boss--dey ain't no chicken in it."

"Then why do you call it chicken pie? I never heard of such a thing."

"Dat's all right, boss. Dey don't have to be no chicken in a chicken pie. Dey ain't no dog in a dog biscuit, is dey?"

_See also_ Dining.

FOOTBALL

His SISTER--"His nose seems broken."

His FIANCEE--"And he's lost his front teeth."

His MOTHER--"But he didn't drop the ball!"--_Life_.

Toaster's Handbook Part 76

You're reading novel Toaster's Handbook Part 76 online at LightNovelFree.com. You can use the follow function to bookmark your favorite novel ( Only for registered users ). If you find any errors ( broken links, can't load photos, etc.. ), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible. And when you start a conversation or debate about a certain topic with other people, please do not offend them just because you don't like their opinions.


Toaster's Handbook Part 76 summary

You're reading Toaster's Handbook Part 76. This novel has been translated by Updating. Author: C. E. Fanning and H. W. Wilson already has 651 views.

It's great if you read and follow any novel on our website. We promise you that we'll bring you the latest, hottest novel everyday and FREE.

LightNovelFree.com is a most smartest website for reading novel online, it can automatic resize images to fit your pc screen, even on your mobile. Experience now by using your smartphone and access to LightNovelFree.com

RECENTLY UPDATED NOVEL