The Rolliad Part 35

I.

Amid the thunder of the war, True glory guides no echoing car; Nor bids the sword her bays bequeath; Nor stains with blood her brightest wreath: No plumed host her tranquil triumphs own: Nor spoils of murder'd mult.i.tudes she brings, To swell the state of her distinguish'd, kings, And deck her chosen throne.

On that fair throne, to Britain dear, With the flowering olive twin'd, High she hangs the hero's spear; And there, with all the palms of peace combin'd, Her unpolluted hands the milder trophy rear.

To kings like these, her genuine theme, The Muse a blameless homage pays; To GEORGE, of kings like these supreme, She wishes honour'd length of days, Nor prost.i.tutes the tribute of her lays.

II.

'Tis his to bid neglected genius glow, And teach the regal bounty how to flow; His tutelary sceptre's sway The vindicated Arts obey, And hail their patron King: 'Tis his to judgment's steady line Their flights fantastic to confine, And yet expand their wing: The fleeting forms of Fas.h.i.+on to restrain, And bind capricious Taste in Truth's eternal chain.

Sculpture, licentious now no more, From Greece her great example takes, With Nature's warmth the marble wakes, And spurns the toys of modern lore: In native beauty, simply plann'd, Corinth, thy tufted shafts ascend; The Graces guide the painter's hand, His magic mimicry to blend.

III.

While such the gifts his reign bestows, Amid the proud display, Those gems around the throne he throws That shed a softer ray: While from the summits of sublime Renown He wafts his favour's universal gale, With those sweet flowers he binds a crown That bloom in Virtue's humble vale.

With rich munificence, the nuptial tye, Unbroken he combines:---- Conspicuous in a nation's eye, The sacred pattern s.h.i.+nes!

Fair Science to reform, reward, and raise, To spread the l.u.s.tre of domestic praise; To foster Emulation's holy flame, To build Society's majestic frame: Mankind to polish and to teach, Be this the monarch's aim; Above Ambition's giant-reach The monarch's meed to claim.

The ill.u.s.trious _Arbiters_, of whom we may with great truth describe the n.o.ble Earl as the very _alter-ipse_ of _Maecenas_, and the worthy _Pierot_, as the most correct counterpart of _Petronius_, had carefully revised the whole of the preceding productions, and had indulged the defeated ambition of restless and aspiring Poetry, with a most impartial and elaborate _Scrutiny_ (the whole account of which, faithfully translated from the Italian of _Signor Delpini_, and the English of the _Earl of Salisbury_, will, in due time, be submitted to the inspection of the curious), were preparing to make a legal return, when an event happened that put a final period to their proceedings.--The following is a correct account of this interesting occurrence:

On Sunday the 17th of the present month, to wit, July, Anno Domini, 1785, just as his Majesty was ascending the stairs of his gallery, to attend divine wors.h.i.+p at WINDSOR, he was surprized by the appearance of a little, thick, squat, red-faced man, who, in a very odd dress, and kneeling upon one knee, presented a piece of paper for the Royal acceptation. His Majesty, amazed at the sight of such a figure in such a place, had already given orders to one of the attendant beef-eaters to dismiss him from his presence, when, by a certain hasty spasmodic mumbling, together with two or three prompt quotations from Virgil, the person was discovered to be no other than the Rev. Mr. _Thomas Warton_ himself, dressed in the official vesture of his professors.h.i.+p, and the paper which he held in his hand being nothing else but a fair-written pet.i.tion, designed for the inspection of his Majesty, our gracious Sovereign, made up for the seeming rudeness of the first reception, by a hearty embrace on recognition; and the contents of the pet.i.tion being forthwith examined, were found to be pretty nearly as follows.----We omit the common-place compliments generally introduced in the exordia of these applications, as "relying upon your Majesty's well-known clemency;" "convinced of your Royal regard for the real interest of your subjects;" "penetrated with the fullest conviction of your wisdom and justice," &c. &c. which, though undoubtedly very true, when considered as addressed to George the Third, _might_, perhaps, as matters of mere form, be applied to a Sovereign, who neither had proved wisdom nor regard for his subjects in one act of his reign, and proceed to the substance and matter of the complaint itself.

It sets forth, "That the Pet.i.tioner, Mr. _Thomas_, had been many years a maker of Poetry, as his friend Mr. _Sadler_, the pastry-cook, of Oxford, and some other creditable witnesses, could well evince: that many of his works of fancy, and more particularly that one, which is known by the name of his _Criticisms upon Milton_, had been well received by the learned; that thus encouraged, he had entered the list, together with many other great and respectable candidates, for the honour of a succession to the vacant _Laureats.h.i.+p_; that a decided return had been made in his favour by the officers best calculated to judge, namely, the Right Hon. the Earl of Salisbury, and the learned _Signor Delpini_, his Lords.h.i.+p's worthy coadjutor; that the Signor's delicacy, unhappily for the Pet.i.tioner, like that of Mr. _Corbett_, in the instance of the Westminster election, had inclined him to the grant of a SCRUTINY; that in consequence of the vexatious and pertinacious perseverance on the part of several gentlemen in this illegal and oppressive measure, the Pet.i.tioner had been severely injured in his spirits, his comforts, and his interest: that he had been for many years engaged in a most laborious and expensive undertaking, in which he had been honoured with the most liberal communications from all the universities in Europe, to wit, a splendid and most correct edition of the _Poemata Minora_, of the immortal Mr. _Stephen Duck_; that he was also under positive articles of literary partners.h.i.+p with his brother, the learned and well-known Dr. _Joseph_, to supply two pages per day in his new work, now in the press, ent.i.tled his Essay _on the Life and Writings_ of Mr. THOMAS HICKATHRIFT; in both of which great undertakings, the progress had been most essentially interrupted by the great anxiety and distress of mind, under which the Pet.i.tioner has for some time laboured, on account of this inequitable scrutiny; that the Pet.i.tioner is bound by his honour and his engagement to prepare a new Ode for the birth-day of her most gracious Majesty, which he is very desirous of executing with as much poetry, perspicuity, and originality, as are universally allowed to have characterised his last effusion, in honour of the Natal Anniversary of his Royal Master's sacred self; that there are but six months to come for such a preparation, and that the Pet.i.tioner has got no farther yet than 'Hail Muse!'

in the first stanza, which very much inclines him to fear he shall not be able to finish the whole in the short period above-mentioned, unless his Majesty should be graciously pleased to order some of his Lords of the Bed-chamber to a.s.sist him, or should command a termination to the vexatious enquiry now pending. In humble hopes that these several considerations would have their due influence with his Majesty, the Pet.i.tioner concludes with the usual prayer, and signed himself as underneath, &c. &c. &c.

THO. WARTON, B.D. &c. &c."

Such was the influence of the above admirable appeal on the sympathetic feelings of Majesty, that the sermon, which we understand was founded upon the text, "_Let him keep his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no untruth_," and which was _not_ preached by Dr. _Prettyman_, was entirely neglected, and a message instantly written, honoured by the Sign Manual, and directed to the office of the Right Hon. Lord _Sydney_, Secretary for the Home Department, enjoining an immediate redress for Mr. _Thomas_, and a total suspension of any further proceedings in a measure which (as the energy of Royal eloquence expressed it) was of such unexampled injustice, illegality, and oppression, as that of a _scrutiny after a fair poll, and a decided superiority of admitted suffrages_. This message, conveyed, as its solemnity well required, by no other Person than the Honourable young _Tommy_ himself, Secretary to his amazing father, had its due influence with the Court; the n.o.ble Lord broke his wand; Mr. _Delpini_ executed a _chacone_, and tried at a _somerset_; he grinned a grim obedience to the mandate, and calling for pen, ink, and paper, wrote the following letter to the Printer of that favourite diurnal vehicle through whose medium these effusions had been heretofore submitted to the public:

"_Monsieur_, On vous requis, you are hereby commandie not to pooblish any more of de _Ode Probationare--mon cher ami, Monsieur George le Roi_, says it be ver bad to vex Monsieur le pet.i.t homme avec le grand paunch--_Monsieur Wharton_, any more vid scrutinee; je vous commande derefore to finis--Que le Roi soit loue!--G.o.d save de King! mind vat I say--ou le grand George and le bon Dieu d.a.m.n votre ame & bodie, vos jambes, & vos pies, for ever and ever--pour jamais.

(Signed) DELPINI."

Nothing now remained, but for the Judges to make their return, which having done in favour of Mr. _Thomas Warton_, the original object of their preference, whom they now p.r.o.nounced duly elected, the following Imperial notice was published in the succeeding Sat.u.r.day's _Gazette_, confirming the Nomination, and giving legal Sanction to the Appointment.

PROCLAMATION.

To all CHRISTIAN PEOPLE to whom these presents shall come, greeting,

Know Ye, That by and with the advice, consent, concurrence, and approbation of our right trusty and well-beloved cousins, James Cecil, Earl of Salisbury, and Antonio Franciso Ignicio Delpini, Esq. Aur.

and Pierot to the Theatre-royal, Hay-market, WE, for divers good causes and considerations, us thereunto especially moving, have made, ordained, nominated, const.i.tuted, and appointed, and by these presents do make, ordain, nominate, const.i.tute, and appoint, the Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D. to be our true and only legal Laureat, Poet, and Poetaster; that is to say, to pen, write, compose, transpose, select, dictate, compile, indite, edite, invent, design, steal, put together, transcribe, frame, fabricate, manufacture, make, join, build, sc.r.a.pe, grub, collect, vamp, find, discover, catch, smuggle, pick-up, beg, borrow, or buy, in the same manner and with the same privileges as have been usually practised, and heretofore enjoyed by every other Laureat, whether by our Sacred Self appointed, or by our Royal predecessors, who now dwell with their fathers: and for this purpose, to produce, deliver, chaunt, or sing, as in our wisdom aforesaid we shall judge proper, at the least three good and substantial Odes, in the best English or German verse, in every year, that is to say, one due and proper Ode on the Nativity of our blessed Self; one due and proper Ode on the Nativity of our dearest and best beloved Royal Consort, for the time being; and also one due and proper Ode on the day of the Nativity of every future Year, of which G.o.d grant We may see many.

And we do hereby most strictly command and enjoin, that no Scholar, Critic, Wit, Orthographer, or Scribbler, shall, by gibes, sneers, jests, judgments, quibbles, or criticisms, molest, interrupt, incommode, disturb, or confound the said Thomas Warton, or break the peace of his orderly, quiet, pains-taking, and inoffensive Muse, in the said exercise of his said duty. And we do hereby will and direct, that if any of the person or persons aforesaid, notwithstanding our absolute and positive command, shall be found offending against this our Royal Proclamation, that he, she, or they being duly convicted, shall, for every such crime and misdemeanor, be punished in the manner and form following; to wit--For the first offence he shall be drawn on a sledge to the most conspicuous and notorious part of our ever faithful city of London, and shall then and there, with an audible voice, p.r.o.nounce, read, and deliver three several printed speeches of our right, trusty, and approved MAJOR JOHN SCOTT.--For the second offence, that he be required to translate into good and lawful English one whole unspoken speech of our right trusty and well-beloved cousin and councellor, Lord Viscount MOUNTMORRES, of the kingdom of _Ireland_;--and for the third offence, that he be condemned to read one whole page of the Poems, Essays, or Criticisms of our said Laureat, Mr. Thomas Warton.----And whereas the said office of Laureat is a place of the last importance, inasmuch as the person holding it has confided to him the care of making the Royal virtues known to the world; and we being minded and desirous that the said T. Warton should execute and perform the duties of his said office with the utmost dignity and decorum, NOW KNOW YE, That we have thought it meet to draw up a due and proper Table of Instructions, hereunto annexed, for the use of the said Thomas Warton, in his said poetical exercise and employment, which we do hereby most strictly will and enjoin the said Thomas Warton to abide by and follow, under pain of incurring our most high displeasure.

Given at our Court at St. James's, this 30th day of May, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-five.

_Vivant Rex & Regina._

TABLE OF INSTRUCTIONS

FOR THE REV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D. AND P.L. &c. &c.

_Chamberlain's Office, May 30th, 1785._

1st, That in fabricating the catalogue of Regal Virtues (in which task the Poet may much a.s.sist his invention by perusing the Odes of his several predecessors) you be particularly careful not to omit his Chast.i.ty, his skill in Mechanics, and his Royal Talent of Child-getting.--

2dly, It is expected that you should be very liberally endowed with the gift of Prophecy; but be very careful not to predict any event but what may be perfectly acceptable to your Sovereign, such as the subjugation of America, the destruction of the Whigs, long-life, &c. &c.

3dly, That you be always provided with a due a.s.sortment of true, good-looking, and legitimate words; and that you do take all necessary care not to apply them but on their proper occasions; as for example, not to talk of dove-eyed peace, nor the gentle olive, in time of war; nor of trumpets, drums, fifes, nor [1]ECHOING CARS, in times of peace--as, for the sake of poetical conveniency, several of your predecessors have been known to do.

4thly, That as the Sovereign for the time being must always be the best, the greatest, and the wisest, that ever existed; so the year also, for the time being, must be the happiest, the mildest, the fairest, and the most prolific that ever occurred.--What reflections upon the year past you think proper.

5thly, That Music being a much higher and diviner science than Poetry, your Ode must always be adapted to the Music, and not the Music to your Ode.--The omission of a line or two cannot be supposed to make any material difference either in the poetry or in sense.

6thly, That as these sort of invitations have of late years been considered by the Muses as mere cards of compliment, and of course have been but rarely accepted, you must not waste more than twenty lines in invoking the Nine, nor repeat the word "Hail!" more than fifteen times at farthest.

7thly, And finally, That it may not be amiss to be a little intelligible[2].

[1] It is evident from this expression, that these instructions had not been delivered to Mr. Warton at the time of his writing his last famous Ode on the Birth-day of his Majesty: a circ.u.mstance which makes that amazing composition still more extraordinary.

[2] This is an additional proof that Mr. Warton had not received, the Instructions at the time he composed his said Ode.

POLITICAL MISCELLANIES;

BY THE AUTHORS OF _THE ROLLIAD_ AND PROBATIONARY ODES.

-- LONGaeVO DICTA PARENTI HAUD DUBITANDA REFER. VIRGIL.

TO THE PUBLIC.

The very favourable reception given to the ROLLIAD, and PROBATIONARY ODES, has induced the Editor to conceive, that a collection of political _Jeus d'Esprits_, by the authors of those celebrated performances, would prove equally acceptable. Various publications upon a similar plan have already been attempted; but their good things have been so scantily interspersed, that they have appeared like GRATIANO's reasons, "_as two grains of_ WHEAT _in a bushel of_ CHAFF." In the present Edition are contained not only a number of pieces which have at different times been given to the Public, but also a variety of Original Articles, which but for the flattering confidence of private friends.h.i.+p, would have still remained in the closets of their authors. MISCELLANIES, indeed, in any state, from the variety which they afford, must ever be attractive; but, when added to this inherent advantage, they also possess the benefit of a proper selection, their attraction must of necessity become materially enhanced. The fame of the Authors of the following sheets is too well established in the mind of every person of taste and literature, to derive any aid from our feeble panegyric.

It is only to be lamented that, from the peculiar circ.u.mstances under which these their poetical offspring make their appearance, the Parents' names cannot be announced to the world with all that parade which accompanies a more legal intercourse with the Muses.

Perhaps, however, the vigour and native energy of the Parents, appear much more prominent in these ardent inspirations of nature, than in the cold, nerveless, unimpa.s.sioned efforts of a legitimate production. It may here be objected by some fastidious critics, that if writings, evidently so reputable to the fame of the authors, are of such a construction as to be unfit to be acknowledged, that they are equally unfit for publication: but let these gentlemen recollect, that it has ever been held perfectly justifiable to utter those sarcasms under a masque, which the strict rules of decorum would render inadmissible in any other situation. The shafts of ridicule have universally been found more efficacious in correcting folly and impertinence, than the most serious reproof; and while we pursue the example of POPE, SWIFT, ARBUTHNOT, ADDISON, and others of the wittiest, the wisest, and the best men of the age in which they lived, we shall little fear the cavils of ill-nature. If it should be urged that the subjects of these political productions are merely temporary, and will be forgotten with the hour which gave them birth; let it at the same time be recollected, that though the heroes of the DUNCIAD have sunk into their native obscurity, the reputation of the poem which celebrated their worth, still retains its original splendour. And, in truth, as a matter of equity, if blockheads and dunces are worthy to be recorded in the Poet's page, why may not Privy Councillors and Lords of the Bedchamber demand a similar exaltation?

POLITICAL MISCELLANIES.

PROBATIONARY ODE EXTRAORDINARY, _By the Rev_. W. MASON, M.A.

[The following second attempt of Mr. MASON, at the ROYAL SACK, was not inserted in the celebrated collection of Odes formed by Sir JOHN HAWKINS.--What might be the motive of the learned Knight for this omission can at present only be known to himself.--Whether he treasured it up for the next edition of his Life of Dr. JOHNSON, or whether he condemned it for its too close resemblance to a former elegant lyric effusion of the Rev. Author, must remain for time, or Mr, FRANCIS BARBER, to develope.--Having, however, been fortunate enough to procure a copy, we have printed both the Odes in opposite leaves, that in case the latter supposition should turn out to be well founded, the public may decide how far the worthy magistrate was justified in this exclusion.]