English Satires Part 39

So needful it is to have money.

And the angels in pink and the angels in blue, In muslins and moires so lovely and new, What is it they want, and so wish you to guess, But if you have money, the answer is yes.

So needful, they tell you, is money, heigh-ho!

So needful it is to have money.

C.S. CALVERLEY.

(1831-1884.)

LXXI. "HIC VIR, HIC EST."

The subtle mingling of pathos and satire in this poem evoked the warm admiration of Mr. J. Russell Lowell. This is published by special permission of Messrs. G. Bell & Sons, to whom thanks are tendered.

Often, when o'er tree and turret, Eve a dying radiance flings, By that ancient pile I linger, Known familiarly as "King's".

And the ghosts of days departed Rise, and in my burning breast All the undergraduate wakens, And my spirit is at rest.

What, but a revolting fiction, Seems the actual result Of the Census's inquiries, Made upon the 15th ult.?

Still my soul is in its boyhood; Nor of year or changes recks, Though my scalp is almost hairless, And my figure grows convex.

Backward moves the kindly dial; And I'm numbered once again With those n.o.blest of their species Called emphatically "Men"; Loaf, as I have loafed aforetime, Through the streets, with tranquil mind, And a long-backed fancy-mongrel Trailing casually behind.

Past the Senate-house I saunter, Whistling with an easy grace; Past the cabbage stalks that carpet Still the beefy market-place; Poising evermore the eye-gla.s.s In the light sarcastic eye, Lest, by chance, some breezy nursemaid Pa.s.s, without a tribute, by.

Once, an una.s.suming Freshman, Thro' these wilds I wandered on, Seeing in each house a College, Under every cap a Don; Each perambulating infant Had a magic in its squall, For my eager eye detected Senior Wranglers in them all.

By degrees my education Grew, and I became as others; Learned to blunt my moral feelings By the aid of Bacon Brothers; Bought me tiny boots of Mortlock, And colossal prints of Roe; And ignored the proposition, That both time and money go.

Learned to work the wary dogcart, Artfully thro' King's Parade; Dress, and steer a boat, and sport with Amaryllis in the shade: Struck, at Brown's, the das.h.i.+ng hazard; Or (more curious sport than that) Dropped, at Callaby's, the terrier Down upon the prisoned rat.

I have stood serene on Fenner's Ground, indifferent to blisters, While the b.u.t.tress of the period Bowled me his peculiar twisters: Sung, "We won't go home till morning"; Striven to part my backhair straight; Drunk (not lavishly) of Miller's Old dry wines at 78/:--

When within my veins the blood ran, And the curls were on my brow, I did, oh ye undergraduates, Much as ye are doing now.

Wherefore bless ye, O beloved ones:-- Now into mine inn must I, Your "poor moralist", betake me, In my "solitary fly".