Adventures in Criticism Part 26
You’re reading novel Adventures in Criticism Part 26 online at LightNovelFree.com. Please use the follow button to get notification about the latest chapter next time when you visit LightNovelFree.com. Use F11 button to read novel in full-screen(PC only). Drop by anytime you want to read free – fast – latest novel. It’s great if you could leave a comment, share your opinion about the new chapters, new novel with others on the internet. We’ll do our best to bring you the finest, latest novel everyday. Enjoy!
_A Baconian Essay_
Dec. 26, 1891.
That was a Wittie Invective made by _Montaigny_ upon the _Antipodean_, Who said they must be Thieves that pulled on their breeches when Honest Folk were scarce abed. So is it Obnoxious to them that purvey _Christmas Numbers_, _Annuals_, and the like, that they commonly write under _Sirius_ his star as it were _Capricornus_, feigning to Scate and Carol and blow warm upon their Fingers, while yet they might be culling of Strawberries. And all to this end, that Editors may take the cake. I know One, the Father of a long Family, that will sit a whole June night without queeching in a Vessell of Refrigerated Water till he be Ingaged with hard Ice, that the _Publick_ may be docked no pennyweight of the Sentiments incident to the _Nativity_. For we be like Grapes, and goe to Press in August. But methinks these rigours do postulate a _Robur Corporis_ more than ordinary (whereas 'tis but one in ten if a Novelist overtop in Physique); and besides will often fail of the effect. As I _myself_ have asked--the Pseudonym being but gauze--
"O! Who can hold a fire in his hand By thinking on the frosty Caucasus?"
Yet sometimes, because some things are in kind very Casuall, which if they escape prove Excellent (as the man who by Inadvertence inherited the throne of the _Grand Turk_ with all appertayning) so that the kind is inferiour, being subject to Perill, but that which is Excellent being proved superiour, as the Blossom of March and the Blossom of May, whereof the French verse goeth:--
"Bourgeon de Mars, enfant de Paris; Si un eschape, il en vaut dix."
--so, as I was saying (till the Mischief infected my Protasis), albeit the gross of writings will moulder between _St. John's_ feast and _St.
Stephen's_, yet, if one survive, 'tis odds he will prove Money in your Pocket. Therefore I counsel that you preoccupate and tie him, by Easter at the latest, to _Forty thousand words_, naming a Figure in excess: for Operation shrinketh all things, as was observed by Galenus, who said to his Friend, "I will cut off your Leg, and then you will be lesse by a Foot." Also you will do well to provide a _Pictura_ in Chromo-Lithography. For the Glaziers like it, and no harm done if they blush not: which is easily avoided by making it out of a little Child and a Puppy-dog, or else a Mother, or some such trivial Accompaniment. But Phryne marrs all. It was even rashly done of that Editor who issued a Coloured Plate, calling it "_Phryne Behind the Areopagus_": for though nothing was Seen, the pillars and Grecian elders intervening, yet 'twas Felt a great pity. And the Fellow ran for it, saying flimsily:--
"Populus me sibilat. At mihi plaudo."
Whereas I rather praise the dictum of that other writer, who said, "In this house I had sooner be turned over on the Drawing-room Table than roll under that in the Dining-room," meaning to reflect on the wine, but the Hostess took it for a compliment.
But to speak of the Letter Press. For the Sea you will use Clark Russell; for the East, Rudyard Kipling; for _Blood_, Haggard; for neat pastorall Subjects, Thomas Hardy, so he be within Bounds. I mislike his "n.o.ble Dames." Barrie has a prettier witt; but Besant will keep in all weathers, and serve as right _Pemmican_. As for conundrums and poetry, they are but Toys: I have seen as good in crackers; which we pull, not as meaning to read or guess, but read and guess to cover the Shame of our Employment. Yet for Conundrums, if you hold the Answers till your next issue they Raise the Wind among Fools.
He that hath _Wife and Children_ hath given Hostages to _Little Folks_: he will hardly redeem but by sacrifice of a Christmas Tree.
The learned Poggius, that had twelve Sons and Daughters, used to note ruefully that he might never escape but by purchase of a _dozen Annuals_, citing this to prove how greatly Tastes will diverge among the Extreamely Young, even though they come of the same geniture. So will Printed Matter multiply faster than our Parents. Yet 'tis discutable that this phrensy of _Annuals_ groweth staler by Recurrence. As that Helvetian lamented, whose Cuckoo-clock failed of a ready Purchaser, and he had to live with it. "_What Again?_" said he, and "_Surely Spring is not come yet, dash it?_" Also I cannot stomach that our Authors portend a Severity of Weather unseasonable in these Muggy Lat.i.tudes. I will eat my Hat if for these twenty Christma.s.ses I have made six Slides worthy the Mention. Yet I know an Author that had his _Hero and Heroine_ consent together very prettily; but 'twas in a _Thaw_, and the Editor being stout, the match was broken off unblessedly, till a Pact was made that it should indeed be a Thaw, but sufficient only to let the Heroine drop through the Ice and be Rescewed.
Without _Ghosts_, we twiddle thumbs....
Adventures in Criticism Part 26
You're reading novel Adventures in Criticism Part 26 online at LightNovelFree.com. You can use the follow function to bookmark your favorite novel ( Only for registered users ). If you find any errors ( broken links, can't load photos, etc.. ), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible. And when you start a conversation or debate about a certain topic with other people, please do not offend them just because you don't like their opinions.
Adventures in Criticism Part 26 summary
You're reading Adventures in Criticism Part 26. This novel has been translated by Updating. Author: Arthur Thomas Quiller-Couch already has 1052 views.
It's great if you read and follow any novel on our website. We promise you that we'll bring you the latest, hottest novel everyday and FREE.
LightNovelFree.com is a most smartest website for reading novel online, it can automatic resize images to fit your pc screen, even on your mobile. Experience now by using your smartphone and access to LightNovelFree.com
- Related chapter:
- Adventures in Criticism Part 25