Memoirs of Major Alexander Ramkins (1718) Part 1

Memoirs of Major Alexander Ramkins (1718).

by Daniel Defoe.

I was not above Seventeen Years of Age when the Battle of _Gillycranky_ was fought between the Two Highland Generals, the Lord Viscount _Dundee_ and _Mackay_. And being then a Stripling at the University of _Aberdeen_ and understanding that several Clans were gathering into a Body in defence of King _James_ III sold my Books and Furniture of my Lodgings, and equipp'd my self to observe the Martial Call, I found my self prompted with. I arriv'd in a few Days near the Field of Battle, and joyn'd my self with a broken Body of Men who were making up towards the Mountains to recover themselves after the Fatigue of Battle. The Novices.h.i.+p I went through in the _Highlands_, was no improper Foundation for the course Method of living I have been since engag'd in for above Twenty Seven Years; during which Time, I have run through all those Hards.h.i.+ps which are incident to one who seeks a Preferment in Fire and Smoak.

While I strolled about in the _Highlands_, it was my good Fortune to be under the Tuition of an old Officer, who let me into many of those little Secrets which are not unserviceable to such as Design to make the whole Earth the Theatre of their Life; but what I chiefly valued this old Gentleman's Conversation for, was the Happiness I had to be a Hearer of some of his Politick Lessons, of which he was a great Master, having furnish'd himself by Fifty Years Practice, with the best Idea's of that kind.

Upon a certain Day when our Party were out, some upon Foraging, and others to get Intelligence, I being alone in a Cottage with this old Captain, and being desirous to know his Opinion of the Affairs of _Europe_ in general, as also what was like to be the Issue of that Cause we had undertaken. The old Captain willing to satisfy my Curiosity as far as his Skill would reach, pulled out some Remarks he had made upon the Year 1640. Observe, _says_ he, Child what I say to you, 'tis a Maxim never to be neglected among Politicians to keep up Divisions in an Enemies Country; you may, perhaps, imagine that this will be a short Game that is a playing, but depend upon it my Grey Hairs will not see an end of it. I allow the King of _France_ has declar'd himself a Friend to King _James_ II; He is a very powerful Prince, and if he would turn his Forces this Way, and be upon the Defensive near Home, a few Months would bring the War to a Period. But that Monarch has things in his Head which I must not mention. There will be great Skirmis.h.i.+ng in the Dominions of _Great Britain_, but no decisive Action if _Lewis le Grand_ can hinder it. He takes Cardinal _Richlieu's_ Conduct for a Precedent. It would have been no difficult Task for the _French_ to have joyn'd their Forces with King _Charles_ I. and have made a short Hand of that Contest between the King and Parliament; but that Politick Cardinal instead of this Method, had Emissaries in the _English_ Cabinet to exaggerate Matters between them. The same Method has been observ'd by that Nation ever since; and if _Lewis le Grand_ does not make a Politick Use of King _James_ II. without doing him any real Service, I shall be very willing to correct my self, and cancel that Paragraph in my Observations.

This was the first Politick Lesson I was entertain'd with by my old Master; which, though at that time my want of Experience did not permit me thoroughly to comprehend, yet since, a Resemblance of Circ.u.mstances has often reviv'd it my Mind; nor could I ever be well reconcil'd to that Piece of Morality, That it was a laudable Practice to set People by the Ears together.

The hopes of being releas'd, is the best Support to Men in Misery, and our small Body of Three Hundred Men wou'd not have remain'd so long under Discipline, if Expectation had not been nourish'd with daily Alarms of a.s.sistance from _France_. Our commanding Officer was Romantickly Loyal, and look'd upon every little Hill we scrambled over, as an impregnable Fortress, from whose Summit he often took occasion to Harangue us, as if the Eyes of all _Europe_ were upon us, and the Fate of the Three Kingdoms hung at our Swords Points. But the Truth was, I believe, we were unknown to all Mankind, and if those Villages we march'd by you'd but secure the Cattle from us, the State was in no great Danger from our Quarter.

As for the Hopes of being a.s.sisted from _France_, though our Commander neglected no Pains to instill such a Belief into the Generality of the Soldiers, in order to prolong his Reign in that honourable Post he enjoy'd, yet I read it plainly in my old Captain's Forehead, that _France_ was not accustom'd to open their Treasures in countenancing Chimerical Adventures, and that the most we could expect from thence, would be a small _Dunkirk_ Privateer, with a Hogshead or two of Brandy to keep the Cause alive, while he was pus.h.i.+ng on his Conquests in other Parts of the Globe, in which the Glory and Interest of _France_ was more immediately concern'd. For my own Part, as I was resolv'd to pursue my Fortune in the way of Arms, and finding that there was no appearance of _Scotland's_ being a Place of Action, so I advis'd with my old Master what course I should steer to answer the Ends of my Call. The old Gentleman, though he might have deterr'd me from such an Undertaking, by proposing himself as an Instance how little you'd be gain'd that way, having nothing to show for near Sixty Years Service in the War, but a Bundle of Politick Remarks drawn from the false Steps he and others have made in endeavouring to make their Fortune, yet since every Man must spin out his Thread of Life one way or other, and that that was most likely to succeed well to which a Person found himself most inclinable, so he humour'd my present Dispositions; but at the same time, counsell'd me to Transport my self over to the Continent, where I might meet with something worthy my Curiosity. Islands, _says he_, are commonly won and lost in a Day, nor will they afford you that variety of Stratagems which will make you perfect in the Art of War. After this I only waited for a fit Opportunity to quit the Service I was in, for though I was no farther engaged than in the Quality of a Gentleman Volunteer, yet a Strain of Honour would not permit me to forsake my Companions, unless some more plausible Reason occurr'd to me than what I could invent at that Time. But it was not long before an occasion offered it self to put my Project in Execution. By moving too and fro our little Army, I was within Twenty Miles of my Mother's House, (for my Father had been dead some Years) having therefor first communicated my Design to my old Master, whom I intended to invite along with me, if he approv'd of my Undertaking.

In conclusion, Things were order'd so, that the old Captain, with myself, and another, were detatch'd out towards the Coast to get Intelligence, and that Night about Eleven we agreeably surpriz'd my Mother who had for several Months been lamenting the Loss of her darling Son, whom she suppos'd to be kill'd at the Battle of _Gillycranky_; for she had not justly inform'd herself of the precise Time I ran away from the College at _Aberdeen_.

I had Two elder Brothers, who both inherited the martial Spirit of our Family, had been a long time absent from Home; one of them was prefer'd in the Emperor's Army in _Hungary_, the other belonging to the Guards of King _James_ II follow'd his Fate into _France_ and _Ireland_, and afterwards was kill'd in _Ireland_. My father had three small Lords.h.i.+ps, which we were equally to be Sharers of, allowing proportionably for my Mothers maintenance, with a Thousand Pounds to be rais'd to marry our only Sister.

Now, as it was my Intention to Travel and gain Experience in the World, so my old Captain put it into my Head to raise a Sum of Money upon the Credit of my Land, a.s.suring me it would prove my best Friend upon all Occasions, for that the World had but a very mean Opinion of Merit when strip'd of other Advantages to recommend it. This Affair took up more Time than my warm Temper could well bear, and the Lawyers threw in so many Delays, that had not the old Captain (who was well acquainted with Business) been at my Elbow to forward Things, I might have lost my Vocation of being a Soldier before any Agreement cou'd have been made.

But after two Months were expir'd, I found my self Master of fifteen Hundred Pound, the Price of my share of Land after the Deductions made for my Mother and Sister; Twelve Hundred Pounds I lodg'd with a Banker at _Amsterdam_, the other Three was employ'd for an Equipage, and to supply my Necessities in the Tour I design'd to take. The old Captain I intended to take along with me to be my Guide as well as Adviser; for I saw so many Perfections in him, which the ungrateful World had neglected, That I judg'd it would be an honourable Omen in one that was beginning the World, not to let him leave the Stage of Life unrewarded: But as his Years had render'd him incapable to attend me in my Rambles, so Death came in to release him, and this worthy Person was taken from me about Ten Days before the Time I had fix'd for my Travels. However, I must not let his Memory die, but give the World an Account of him as far as I cou'd gather from the Gentleman when he was disposed to Answer to Questions concerning himself, in which he always behaved himself with a well guarded Modesty.

I learn'd from him, That his Father was the Head of a Clan which was one half cut off by _Oliver Cromwell_, and the other half Transported into the _West-Indies_, with the fifteen Hundred _Scots_, that were condemn'd thither to Slavery by the Protector. My Friend being at that time about Twelve Years old, chose rather to share his Fathers Fate, and view the Western parts of the Worlds, than fall into the Hands of a Person who would stain the Beauty of his tender Mind, by giving him an unsuitable Education. After he had buried his Father in _Virginia_, he took the Opportunity of a _French_ Vessel to pa.s.s over to _Brest_, and so to _Paris_, who by the a.s.sistance of a _Scotch_ n.o.bleman, who was acquainted with his Family, he pick'd up a liberal Education, and made himself Master of the _French_ and _Latin_, and having it in his Election whether he wou'd engage himself to the Church or follow the Camp, he chose the latter, and after some Months spent in the Academy, he enter'd himself among the _Gens d'Arms_, and made very useful Observations in two or three Campaigns in _Germany_, in the last of which he was taken Prisoner and seduc'd into the Emperors Service by some of his Countrymen, who persuaded him the _Germans_ were more accustom'd to advance Strangers than the _French_. In a little time he was observ'd by his Colonel to be a Person of Parts and Resolution, and so was gradually advanc'd from a Cornet to a Captain of Horse; and as a Man of Spirit and Action never wants Opportunity to shew himself, so this Gentleman met with many brave Adventures in the way of Soldiery, which some time he would occasionally recount to me, but they would be too tedious to insert in these Remarks. When King _James_ II came to the Crown of _England_, he desired to throw up his Commission, it being suggested to him, that the Prince stood in need of some old experienc'd Officers to model an Army he was raising. Upon this Prospect he pa.s.s'd over to _England_, but being dest.i.tute of Acquaintance he loiter'd about the Court, till one of the Duke of _Berwick's_ Retinue, who had heard of him at the Siege of _Buda_, made the King acquainted with him. So he was order'd down into _Scotland_ with the Promise of a Colonels Commission, but the Revolution following soon after, he acted only as a Captain of Foot at the Battle of _Gillycranky_.

But to cut short this Digression, the time now drew near that I was to undertake my intended Ramble, and indeed it was high time; for it being whisper'd about in the Neighbourhood that I had been in Arms for King _James_ II. _Home_, as the saying is, _was too hot a Place for me_; so I sent my Servant to enquire for a Conveniency to pa.s.s over to _Flanders_, and in two Days I was provided with a _Roterdam_ Vessel, and so with very little Ceremony took leave of my Mother, who though she was unwilling to part with me, yet she prefer'd the lesser Danger to the greater, and rather wish'd me expos'd to the Waves, than to the Insults of my Enemies at Home.

The Wind blew very fresh, but tacking about too much to the _North East_, it drove us upon Sh.o.r.e with that violence that we were oblig'd to put in twice to Land, once at _Scarborough_, and again at _Yarmouth_.

At this latter Place, a Pragmatical Searcher came aboard us with an Air of Authority as if he design'd to visit my Trunks; but one of the Sailors informing me that this was stretching his Commission, for he ought not to search after any Goods unless the Cargo was design'd for that Port, so I ridded my self of this Spark with a Half-Crown Piece; for I had no mind to enter much into a Parley with him lest he might discover my _Highland_ Expedition, for Fear never wants Apprehensions.

After two Days stay in this Port, the Wind proving favourable, we were not very long in making a Trip to _Roterdam_, where I only refresh'd myself a few Hours, and pa.s.s'd on to _Amsterdam_ to visit my Bank, and settle a Correspondence as to Returns of money.

I met with nothing in this City that made any Impression upon me to stay any longer than settling the small concern of Money I lodg'd there.

The hurry of Business was too Mechanical an Entertainment, for one whose Head was filled with high Flights of Honour, Sieges, Battles, and other such like Sports. The _French_ Army at this time lay upon the _Rhine_, and my Design was to make that Way. When I arriv'd there, I found they had surrounded _Mentz_ in order to Besiege it. I was glad to begin my first Campaign with so glorious an Undertaking, not doubting, but a great deal of Bravery would be shown where the Flower of the Houshold was design'd for Action; but before I could make any Advantage of this Occurrence, I was to make my self known to some Person of Character who might introduce me so as to be a Spectator of that n.o.ble Siege. At last I met with a _Scotch_ Gentleman, who rid in among the grand Molquetains, who being fully inform'd of my Warlike Dispositions, a.s.sur'd me he would put me into the readiest Method he cou'd to gain Experience; but when he inform'd me that I must not pretend to great Things on a sudden, and that I had at present only two Things in Election, either to carry a Musquet in a Common Foot Regiment, during the Siege, or which he wou'd rather advise me to (in case I had Money to be at that expence) to go to _Strasburgh_ and put my self under Discipline for six Weeks or two Months among the _French_ Cadets.

I must confess this was a great balk upon a double account: It not only depriv'd me of the Satisfaction of seeing the Siege carried on, but it was a sensible check to my aspiring Humour, to think what Drudgery I was to undergo before I could be regarded by the World; but when I reflected on what I had often heard the old Captain (I buried in the _Highlands_) say upon this Head, it made me easier under the Disappointment, and the next Day I went on to _Strasburg_, and enter'd my self among the Cadets.

'Tis in the Nature of a College, where young Gentlemen are instructed in the Rudiments of War.

During my stay at _Strasburg_ I omitted no opportunity of improving myself as to the _French_ and _High Dutch_ Fortifications, and other Parts of the Mathematicks which were useful in War. I was also present at some Lectures of Politicks which were given to those more advanc'd in Years, in which they handled the Interest of Nations, and brought down their Reflections to the present Times. This I look'd upon as an excellent Method of educating young Officers; for it qualify'd them to be serviceable to their Country under a double Capacity; that is, as well to Argue as to Fight for it, and defend it equally with their Tongue and Sword.

I remember an Antient Marquis who had a Superintendency over this Academy, entertaining us one Day with the Motives of the present War, and running up the Cause to its Original, laid it before us in this manner: _That the Monarchs of France wou'd look upon themselves as injur'd by the rest of the Princes of_ Europe, _till the imperial Diadem was restor'd to_ France, who were _first Possessors of it in the Person of_ Charles the Great; _that they had made several pushes in all Ages to recover it, but without Effect; that while the_ English _had footing in_ France, _they were too lazy to extend their Conquests upon the Empire of the_ West; _and when they had chased out the_ English, and were rid of that _Inc.u.mbrance, the House of_ Austria, _by the vast Acquisitions of the_ Low Countries, _and joint Power of_ Spain, _sat so hard upon 'em, that_ France _was not in a Capacity to make any Advances towards recovering their Right to the Empire: What therefore they had been upon these latter Years, was to make a strong Party among the Electoral Princes, and by degrees secure a Majority in the Imperial Diet, in order to set aside the House of_ Austria, _and settle the Imperial Crown upon the_ French _Line, as it was in the Beginning_. To this he added, _That this invincible Monarch,_ Lewis XIV, _had made considerable Advances of late Years, especially in bringing over several Electors, and now the Chapter of_ Cologn _to chuse Cardinal_ Fustenberg _for their Archbishop, who though a Native of Germany, yet was a_ Frenchman _by Interest_, and _had given his Word to be very Industrious in settling the Imperial Dignity upon the House of_ Bourbon. _And this Election of Cardinal_ Fustenberg _being contested by the Emperor and Pope Innocent_ XI. _was the Motive of the present War; for they put up the Duke of_ Bavaria's _Brother in opposition against him_.

This Account of the occasion of the present War, vary'd very much from the Idea we in _Scotland_ had of Affairs. We were made to believe, That the King of _France_ being a zealous Roman Catholick Monarch, had engag'd himself in a War against the Allies, meerly upon a Religious Motive, to re-establish King _James_, who was dethron'd upon no other Account but because he was a Roman Catholick. But I have since found by comparing Matters, that the Revolution in _England_ was not the Occasion, but the Consequence of the War between the _French_ and the Allies; for the Emperor, _&c._ understanding that King _James_ II. was drawn into a Sc.r.a.pe by the _French_ King, and that he made a Property of him to carry on his Ambitious Designs; 'tis not to be wonder'd at, if they prefer'd the general Good of _Europe_, and immediate Safety of their own People to the private Good of King _James_ II, who had been so indiscreet as to expose himself to Ruin by giving into a _French_ Project. However this unpolitick Management proved very lucky to _France_ upon a double Account; for tho' they had begun a War upon the disedifying bottom of Ambition, it was afterwards consecrated in mny Peoples Thoughts, under a Colour of justifying a dethron'd Roman Catholick Prince, besides the Advantage of causing a considerable Diversion by fomenting a War in the Three Kingdoms of _Great-Britain_; for as for re-establis.h.i.+ng that unfortunate Prince in his Throne, though I was a long Time of Opinion _France_ really design'd it; yet since I have been convinc'd by undeniable Arguments, that it neither was his Interest to bring it about, nor that he ever seriously attempted it. I must own it was never very Intelligible to me, not even in my very darkest State of Bigottry for the _French_ Interest, that the Emperor, the King of _Spain_, and Duke of _Savoy_, with many other Roman Catholick Princes, nay, the Pope himself should all fail in their Duty and Zeal for Religion, and the King of _France_ (who was remarkable upon other Occasions for sacrificing it to Politick ends) should be the only one in _Europe_ that wou'd stand up for it. It was not so in the Infancy of the _Dutch_ Republic, when _France_ concurr'd with the Seven Provinces to have them torn from the _Spanish_ Monarchy, and by the same a.s.sistance, enabled 'em to make head against the Church. It was not so when a Frown of _Oliver Cromwell_ cou'd oblige _France_ to lay aside the charitable Maxim of Royal Protection, and send _Charles_ II. and his Brother the Duke of _York_, out of their Territories by an Infamous Condescension. But _James_ II. had forgotten the Affronts offer'd to the Duke of _York_, and I suppose had a Mind to make a second Tryal of _French_ Hospitality, and whether they would be more obliging to him in his old Age, than they had been in his Youth. Neither is this plausible Pretence of defending a Prince injur'd upon the Score of Religion, very consistent with their Conduct, in regard of the _Turk_. To maintain a Catholick Prince at St. _Germains_, and support the Enemy of Christianity at _Constantinople_ with great Remittances of Moneys, and a constant Supply of Engineers; is a piece of State Casuistry above my Comprehension, and Prince _Eugene_ had a great deal of Reason to knock his Breast, and hold up his Hands to Heaven, when he saw _French_ Engineers dragg'd out of _Turkish_ Mines in _Hungary_ with _Agnus Dei_'s, and Relicks about their Necks as Ensigns of _Lewis_ XIV's Christianity, and Zeal for the Church.

But to proceed to my own concerns. As soon as the Time was expir'd, I propos'd to my self to stay in the Academy at _Strasburgh_, I provided my self with the Equipage of a grand Musketeer, and for a Present of 50 Pistols, and the strength of good Recommendation from my Countrymen, I was admitted to ride among 'em. But here I had a fresh Difficulty to struggle with. My Countrymen finding me pretty flush of Money, and that I was very generous, was as observant as a Spaniel, and so very Officious both early and late, that I found it impracticable to steal an Hour of Privacy to recollect my self, in order to model my Conduct after the best Precedents I met with in the course of the Day; and what made me yet more uneasy, he was not content to visit me alone, but had often a second or third with him; who as they were very obliging in informing me of the Methods of living in a Camp, so they was always very _adroit_, and gave me the Preference upon all Occasions; but then as I engross'd all the Ceremony of the Day, so I was thrown into unavoidable Circ.u.mstances of paying them for their Attendance. This constant Charge, though in Time it would have made me weary of acting the Grand Signior, yet I could better have bore with it, had I not smelt a Design they had to strip me of my Bank I had at _Amsterdam_; for I was so unguarded in my Conduct as to have acquainted my Countrymen with my Money concerns, which he and his a.s.sociates had already devour'd in their Imagination, and wanted but a fit Opportunity to draw me in at Play, and so at once put me upon a Level with themselves and other Soldiers of Fortune: But being aware of the Trap that was laid for me, my whole Study was how to disengage myself from this Gang, so as to give no Suspicion that I understood their meaning; for this I imagin'd might be the ground of a Quarrel, and to perhaps have worse Consequences than if they really had strip'd me of my Substance. Arm'd with this Caution, I receiv'd 'em in the usual manner, but still kept off when a Motion was made either of high drinking or playing deep; for no Man is secure, when either Liquor or Pa.s.sion gains the Ascendent over him. But this State of Violence could not continue long, sometimes I was at a loss for an Excuse to baffle their Importunity, other times I found them dispos'd to represent me as of an uncomplying Temper, so that there was no way left but either to draw or withdraw, for I saw plainly that if I staid among them a Quarrel would ensue. This Consideration, with the unheard of Devastation I saw in the Palatinate made by the _French_ Troops, gave me a Surfeit of the _Rhine_. I am not Ignorant that no Part of the World is free from Sharpers, but I thought in another Place I might better resist their first Onset, and let them gain no ground upon me, while Rule I here neglected for want of Experience. And now I was oblig'd to make a Call upon my Banker at _Amsterdam_ for Two Hundred Pounds, resolving not to break the remaining 1000 Pound Bulk, unless upon some extraordinary Emergency. I had sometime before intimated to my Officers and Comrades the Design I had to quit the Service upon the _Rhine_, a.s.suring them it was not out of any Disobligation, having experienced their obliging Temper upon all Occasions; but as I understood King _James_ was at the Head of his Army in _Ireland_, so I look'd upon my self in some Measure inexcusable if I serv'd in a foreign Army, when I might contribute more immediately to succour my Prince. My Reasons were applauded, and I not a little content to depart without giving Disgust. Without delay therefore I posted to _Paris_, where I design'd to make no very long stay, only what was necessary to recover my self from the Fatigue of the Campaign, and satisfy my Curiosity in taking a View of that n.o.ble City. I was happy in one thing during my stay here, that I was agreeably surpriz'd with the fight of my only Sister, whose Husband being under some malignant Court Influence, was oblig'd to withdraw with his Family out of _Scotland_. _Paris_ is a Place like all other great Cities, where Persons of all Conditions and Characters may spend their Time agreeably, if that useful Trifle call'd Money be not wanting. Hitherto I had no occasion to be Melancholly upon that Score; for though I was not furnish'd to make any extraordinary Figure, yet being only a single Person, and as yet never launch'd out into any Extravagances, so within my narrow Sphere, I made a decent Appearance. But as no Man is prosperous at all Times, so it was not long before I found my self engag'd in an Affair which very much troubled my Repose, and which I would willingly have compounded for with my _Amsterdam_ Bank. The Business was this, my Eldest Brother before he went with King _James_ into _Ireland_, made some stay at _Paris_ and _St. Germains_, where he was order'd to collect some Recruits of the Three Nations, which he was to conduct over in the Quality of a Route-Captain. Now as he was a Person who had seen very much of the World, and was somewhat addicted to Gallantry and Intriguing with the Fair s.e.x, so he could not remain long in a Place without Publis.h.i.+ng some Marks of his Vocation that way. It happen'd that a young Lady who lodg'd in the same House with him, had occasion to pay a visit to her Acquaintance; my Brother observing her in a Posture to go out of the House alone, offer'd to usher her to the place she design'd for. The Lady with the usual _French_ Freedom and obliging Air, made him a Courtsey, and accepted the Offer. When he complied with this Piece of Civility, he took his leave, and return'd to his Lodgings. From this Accident my Brother dated an Intrigue. The Ladies Carriage (which by the way was nothing but what is customary there upon a slender Acquaintance) encourag'd him to make Advances; the next Step he made was to drink Tea with her in her Chamber, and afterwards he invited her to the _Opera_. But the young Lady as she was strictly Virtuous, never gave way to none of these Freedoms, but in the Company of her Landlady or her Daughter, who were both Prudes. In the mean time a Relation of this Gentlewoman's, who was a Lieutenant in the Regiment of _Navarre_ came up to _Paris_, and had not been long in Town before he was inform'd by some busy Noddle, that his Cousin was either upon the Point of being married, or what was rather suggested to him, that one Captain _Ramkins_ a _Scotch_ Officer, who lodg'd in the same House, had dishonourable Designs upon her. Now as Persons never want Arguments to induce them to take things in the worst Sense, (tho' I will not avouch for my Brothers Intention) so the _French_ Officer being of a suspicious and also a fiery Temper, wanted no body to exasperate him. He took it for granted the Thing was so, and taking Coach he came to his Kinswoman, and after having attack'd her with a great deal of scurrilous Language, he waited not for her Reply, but flung away to find my Brother in order to cut his Throat. My Brother was then at St. _Germains_ receiving his last Orders from the Secretary for his departure for _Ireland_, but return'd that Night to _Paris_. His Landlady at his Return gave him a Note, which she said was deliver'd to her by the Post.

The Contents were a double Surprize to him, first a bold and daring Challenge, and again, he neither knew whom he was to meet, nor upon what Account, only the Time and Place were mention'd. Thus doubtful with himself what Course to take, he acquainted his Landlady with the Subject of the Letter, but she was also at a loss, having neither seen the Lady's Relation, nor heard that he was come to Town, otherwise it might have created some Suspicion. But after Supper, according to Custom, she went up to have an Hours Chat with the young Lady, and among other Things, mention'd the odd Letter Captain _Ramkins_ had receiv'd that Evening; the Lady suspecting what the matter really was, gave the Landlady sufficient Intimation by the Consternation she was in, that she was not unacquainted with the Occasion of that Letter. In the mean time, my Brother was gone to consult with some of his Acquaintance how he should behave himself in this juncture: Some advis'd him to neglect it as a sham Challenge, whereby some of his Acquaintance being merry dispos'd had a mind to divert themselves; others judg'd it might be a Design to a.s.sa.s.sinate him upon account of some old Grudge now worn out of his Memory; in conclusion, 'twas order'd that he should present himself at the Place mention'd in the Challenge, and in case it was a real Thing, and that he escap'd with Life, a Horse should be ready to ride Post to _Brest_, whether he and his Recruits were order'd to take s.h.i.+pping. But that he might not Alarm his Lodgings, he spent the remainder of the Night in the Tavern with his Friends, a fitter Preparation than praying for the Work he was about. About Five in the Morning he set out towards the Place of Battle, half a dozen of his Acquaintance following him at a convenient distance, to wait for the Issue, and to see Justice done in case he was a.s.saulted against the usual Method of Duelling. When he came to the Place apointed, he saw a young Gentleman walking and musing under a Hedge with his Arms a Kimbo, whom he rightly judg'd to be his Man. When he came within Speech of him, the _French_ Officer stop'd and ask'd him if his Name was not _Ramkins_, and whether he had not receiv'd a Note the Evening before upon such an Occasion? my Brother made no other Reply, but that he took himself to be the Person, and that he would indite an Answer with the Point of his Sword; for though, said he, I am a Stranger both to you and the occasion of this Trouble you have given me, yet as I take you to be a Man of Honour, so I suppose you think your self injur'd to that degree, that Satisfaction either cannot or will not be given any other way, and therefore I am here ready to make up this mysterious Quarrel after the Method you have made choice of. It sometimes happens that Peace is struck up between Two Nations Sword in Hand; but my Brother's Antagonist was too warm to stand a Parley and act the Part of a Plenipotentiary; upon which, without making the least Reply, he whips off his Cloaths into his s.h.i.+rt, and open'd his Breast to show his Adversary he scorn'd to take any ungenerous Advantage. My Brother was also honourable upon the same score; for though he wore a short Buff Waiscoat without Skirts according to the Fas.h.i.+ons of those Times, and which might have deadened a Push, yet he threw it off and put himself upon the Level with his Adversary in all respects, so to it they went. My Brother found himself much superior in Strength and Vigour, and that in all probability he cou'd Command his Adversary's Sword, paried with him a considerable Time, and put by several Pushes without attempting the Gentleman's Life, but finding him Resolute, and that one of them must fall, he made one home Thrust, and drove his Sword quite through his Adversary's Body, falling upon him at the same time; and thus fell this unfortunate young Gentleman a Victim to his ungovernable Pa.s.sion.

It appear'd afterwards, that this _French_ Officer having been often play'd upon by several in his Regiment, that he had been two Years among them and never yet made any Experiment of his personal Courage, told them at his going up to _Paris_, That they should here in a little Time he had qualify'd himself by killing his Man. Now it is suppos'd he thought the _British_ Nation, not being fam'd for their Skill in handling the Sword, he had an excellent opportunity of showing his Manhood, and the Advantage of making his escape when he had done the Fact, because little or no Enquiry wou'd be made after a Stranger. My Brother being convinc'd his Adversary was incapable to Rally, made haste to gather up his Cloaths, exchanging the Evangelical Advice of _burying_ the dead, to that natural Precept of _Self-preservation_, and I must leave him pursuing his Journey towards _Brest_, to return to his Lodgings, and give an account how this Catastrophe came to affect me at my coming to _Paris_.

The young Lady who was the Innocent occasion of this unfortunate Accident, took little Rest after she was inform'd of the Contents of the Note left by her Kinsman, and her Concern grew upon her when she understood Captain _Ramkins_ was out of his Lodgings all Night; thus she remain'd under great Inquietudes till Three a Clock the next Day, when she, with her Landlady and Daughter, took a Coach privately and drove directly to the Place where the Gentlemen were to meet according to the Contents of the Letter. They discharg'd their Coach upon a pretence of taking a Walk in the Fields, and after a small Tour the Landlady's Daughter put her Foot into a Cake of clotted Blood, but it was so chang'd, as to the Colour, that she could not well distinguish what it was, but at a little distance finding a Glove, and several Blades of Gra.s.s ting'd with a Vermillion Dye, being press'd down and ruffled as it were with some Cattle weltring and tumbling about. They had a strong Suspicion one of the Gentlemen had ended his Days upon the Spot, and to clear their Suspicion, they walk'd back into the City till they arrived at the _Pet.i.te Chastelet_, which is a publick Room in the Nature of a Guard Bed, where all Corps are expos'd to view and whither People usually go in quest of any of their Friends, or Acquaintance that are wanting. And here the young Gentlewoman was quickly satisfy'd that her Cousin's Rashness had brought him to his End. This Accident happening not long before I came to _Paris_, the Discourse of it was very fresh, and what occasion'd me to have an account of it at my first Arrival, was my Lodging at the same House with my Brother, it being the usual Lodgings for _English_ and _Scotch_. 'Tis true that Landlady and her Daughter where remov'd to _Orleans_, where they had an _Estate_ belonging to their Family, but the young Lady, Cousin to the deceas'd Officer, was still in her old Apartment. I had not been above three Days, but my Name began to be known as well by the Direction of some Letters I receiv'd out of _Germany_, as by other means there are of having such Things divulg'd. The young Lady was not so struck with the Horror of the Name of her Cousins Murtherer, as not to have the Curiosity to peep at me as I came in and out of my Lodgings, and the more, because I had so great a Resemblance to him both as to Figure and Features, that without any extraordinary Skill in Physiognomy, she might conclude I was either his Brother or some near Relation. Now whether my Brother's Cavaliers Carriage had left an Idea in the Lady's Head which she could not conveniently part with, or her Inquisitiveness after me was only a Female Curiosity, I am not able to determine, but it was very unfortunate to me to have been so near a Kin to one she admired in case it was so, or that her Inquisitiveness should make me so publick; for I had not been in _Paris_ above Eight Days, but the Archers or City Guards took me out of my Bed at Four a Clock in the Morning, and carried me to Prison upon strong Suspicion of being that very Captain _Ramkins_ who had kill'd the _French_ Officer in a Duel. Captain _Ramkins_ I certainly was call'd at my own Request, having taken that Travelling Name as all Independent Gentlemen do, who cannot tell well what t.i.tle to give themselves upon the Road. My case had no very good Aspect at the beginning. There were so many Circ.u.mstances to render me suspected, that though I was satisfy'd my Life was not in Danger, yet it was an easy Thing to perceive it wou'd be both a troublesome, and also a chargeable Spot of Work. The first Thing I did was to send for my Brother-in-law, whom I employ'd as my Solicitor, to lay a true Narration of the Fact before the King's Attorney. My Counsel advis'd me to _Subpoena_ the young Lady, who wou'd be a material Witness that I was not the Captain _Ramkins_ chargeable with the Fact, which she seem'd willingly to acquiesce to; but some of the deceased Friends endeavour'd to invalidate her _Affidavit_, upon a pretence, that there was too great an Intimacy between her and Captain _Ramkins_. However, to put the Contest upon an Issue which would allow of no Reply, I procured the Testimonies of several Officers in the Army, that I was actually upon the _Rhine_ when the Duel was fought at _Paris_, besides the corroborating Evidence of several _Irish_ Gentlemen who liv'd in _Paris_ and at _St. Germains_, who were ready to offer their Oaths I was not the Man. 'Tis incredible to think what Pains the deceas'd Gentleman's Relations took to destroy me, though I have the Charity to think they judg'd I was the Person they sought after, though it is somewhat unintelligible they wou'd not Credit the young Lady their Cousin. This Affair help'd me off with the greatest Part of my ready Money, for 'tis a Blessing which attends all Law-Suits, that the Gainer is oblig'd to refund to the Lawyers what he recovers from his Adversary, and for my part, I pay'd pretty dear for an Authentick Copy of my Innocence; and the Carriage of the Court to me was such, as if I had been particularly favour'd in not being hang'd instead of my Brother.

After this troublesome Business was over, I began to enjoy my self a little in the Diversions of _Paris_; and by the a.s.sistance of my Brother-in-law, I had a good Guide in him to view several of the Curiosities that City abounds with, though I cannot say I took any extraordinary relish that way, for my Thoughts being chiefly upon War, I digested other Matters as a nice Appet.i.te does improper Food. It was my Intention to go over to _Ireland_, and to made that undertaking less chargeable to me, I endeavour'd to procure a Commission, which was no difficult matter at that Time, especially to one who was provided with a little Money to facilitate the Grant. I did not stick much upon the Nature of the Commission, for my Years, and small Experience could make no very extraordinary Demands; so I was Registred as a Lieutenant, which I, according to the usual Custom, upon receival dexterously improv'd into Captain. Indeed I had very lofty Expectations, and the Affairs of King _James_ went so well at that time in _Ireland_, that there was not a Footman who follow'd that Prince, but look'd upon his Fortune as made.

These Considerations put me and some others upon a Project of transporting our selves to the _North_ of _England_, where King _James_ had a very strong Party, and we were inform'd that immediately upon the Reduction of _Ireland_, as before, the whole Strength of his Army wou'd power in upon _England_ that way. A Day was fix'd to put my Design in Execution, but falling into Discourse a little after with a Person of Experience, he intimated that the Business wou'd not be so near over in _Ireland_ as I imagin'd; for I can a.s.sure you, says he, Three Expresses have arrived lately at _Versailles_, to solicit the _French_ Court for Cannon and Ammunition, without which it wou'd be impossible for King _James's_ Forces to become Masters in _Ireland_, but that the _French_ were so dilatory in this Affair upon some Politick Views, that it was great Odds that Nation wou'd be quickly recover'd by King _William_'s Forces. This was a misterious Insinuation to one of my small Experience, for my shallow Brain told me, Expedition was the Business of War; whereas I found afterwards it was the Interest of _France_ to spin on the _Irish_ War, and to order Things so, that King _William_ should always have an Army employ'd there; for they look'd upon it as a Chimerical Notion, that the War could be carry'd on into _England_, or that an _Irish_ Army was capable to reduce _England_; for _France_ knew very well their own Designs of not intending to send any _French_ Troops to joyn them in _England_.

I own I never entirely forgot the Reflexion that Gentleman made upon the present Posture of Affairs; but yet I cannot say I a.s.sented to his Opinion, however, it wrought so much upon me as to alter my Resolutions of going directly into the _North_ of _England_; for I govern'd my self by this Dilemma, that in Case _Ireland_ was not reduc'd till I came there, I might have the Opportunity of having a share in the Reduction, but if it was, the Pa.s.sage between the _North_ of _Ireland_ and _England_ was very short. Upon this Bottom I began my Journey, I took s.h.i.+pping at _Brest_ and landed at _Cork_, pursuing the rest of my Journey by Land, upon account of the Danger I was inform'd of in going by Sea; for that several _English_ Men of War guarded the narrow Seas between _Dublin_ and _Holy-head_. When I came into King _James_'s Army, my first Enquiry was after my Brother, whom you may be sure I entertain'd in the first place with the Consequence of his Duel at _Paris_; and though he often sigh'd to reflect upon his Misfortune in being the occasion of the _French_ Officer's Death, which might have been honourably avoided; yet he laugh'd plentifully, when he heard the Part I had afterwards in that Melancholy Farce; and rally'd me home when I insisted upon Charges and desired to be reimburs'd with Sixty _Louis d'Ors_, which that Affair had cost me upon his Account; all the Satisfaction I could get was, that he thought I put a greater Value upon my being his Brother, than to think it over-rated at that trifling Sum: The Life of a Brother, said he, is the only thing that can answer for a Brotherly Affection.

The Scene of Affairs in _Ireland_ was very much alter'd upon raising the Siege of _London-derry_; Men and Arms were imported from _England_ on all Sides to make Head against King _James_, and several b.l.o.o.d.y Skirmishes happen'd in several Parts of the Kingdom. It wou'd make a Volume to account the Marches and Counter-marches both Parties made in that irregular Country to attack and avoid one another. But where ever it was my Lot to engage, the general Complaint was a want of Money, Ammunition and Arms; this (as it cou'd not be otherwise) made us unsuccessful under many promising Advantages. We had Men enough, and those not dest.i.tute of Zeal or Courage; but to expose themselves Naked against Arms and Discipline, was a desperate way of Engaging. But _France_ still went upon the old Politick Scheme to gain Advantages upon the Continent by dilatory Proceedings in King _James_'s Affairs; for unless this was their Prospect, was it not a supine Piece of Management to suffer a Body of near Thirty Thousand brave Men to lie unarm'd in the Field above half a Year, when _France_ had Magazines and Stores to furnish above a Million of Soldiers? But as King _James_ was not only to be the _Dupe_ of their great Monarch, but the Sport and Game of his Ministers, besides a general Topick of refusing him an a.s.sistance upon the Politick Motive of prolonging the War. It seems the Chief Minister of State had some private Ends in these dilatory Proceedings, and King _James_'s Cause in _Ireland_ was also to be sacrific'd to this Gentleman's Resentments. The Case was this, _Lewis_ XIV upon great Importunity, and to put a Gloss upon, and lay deep Colours upon his Politicks, condescended so far, as to order five or six Thousand despicable Foot Soldiers for King _James_'s Service in _Ireland_, with a General at their Head, who had been more accustom'd to lead up a Country Dance than an Army, and better qualify'd to break a Jest than look in upon an Enemy. This General, however, was according to King _James_'s own liking, though contrary to the Chief Minister's Design, who wanted that Post for a Relation of his own. This undesign'd Affront of King _James_ in preferring _C.L._ to the Minister's Favourite, lost the Battle of the _Boyne_, and perhaps all _Ireland_; for the Chief Minister would neither send Arms nor Money to supply that brave Body of Men, but threw them into the Circ.u.mstances of either dying unreveng'd, or saving their Lives by Flight. The History of that Battle has so many Eye Witnesses still alive for me to dwell upon it; I shall only make bold to relate what my Fate was upon that unfortunate Day, and how inglorious _France_ withdrew the sham Succours they sent _King_ James. My Post was to Head a Company of _Fingalian_ Granadiers, who were plac'd in an Orchard which hung over a Defilee, through which we expected the Enemy would march after they had pa.s.s'd the River. I make bold to stile my Company Granadiers, because they were design'd to be so when first rais'd, but were now arm'd rather like Pioneers than Grenadiers; we had not above a dozen Granadoes, no Bayonets, and several without any Fire-arms; and if the Chief Men of the Action were no better equipp'd, 'tis easy to guess how the Gross of the Army was provided. According to our Expectation, a Party of the Enemy fell into the Trap, and what Shot we had, we let it successively fly at them out of the Orchard; in the mean time, we heard a great Noise behind us, and turning my self about, I saw the Orchard almost surrounded with Horse, which I expected were some of our own Party coming up to support us, but found them to be a Squadron of the Enemy, who immediately summon'd us to yield, or we must expect the last Fate of War. There was no time to Parley, upon which I made a Sign to the Commanding Officer of the Enemy not to proceed to Slaughter, and so out of Twenty Two Men with which I defended that Post, Nine of us fell into the Enemies Hands, the rest dying bravely in the Engagement. Our Entertaintment was what is usually with Prisoners of War, Hunger and hard Lodgings, but in a little Time being remov'd to _Dublin_, Things were better with me; I had the Liberty of a large Prison and civil Usage. And here it was I met with an excellent Friend, who never fail'd those who make Application to him, I mean a small Bank of Money which my Brother left me, and which I had sent to _Dublin per_ Bill from _Newry_, that I might run no hazard of being plunder'd in case of a Defeat, and in this I have often applauded my own Caution, that though I have frequently hazarded my Life, I never risqu'd my Substance; if Death happen'd, I was certain of being provided for; and if Imprisonment, I had what wou'd make my Captivity easy, and perhaps, purchase my Enlargement.

'Tis not a being in a Battle that makes a Person a capable Judge how to describe it; every Officer has his Post which he must not depart from, and though he may be able to describe the Situation of the Troops before an Engagement, yet afterwards during the Fight, there is so much Noise, Smoak and Confusion, that for my part, I scarce can give a true Narration of what happen'd within a dozen Yards compa.s.s. Upon this Account, I cannot tell in what manner the _French_ Troops behav'd themselves, but I was inform'd they made a tollerable Stand against King _William_'s Army, but that they quickly chang'd it into a running Fight, and very dexterously convey'd both King _James_ and themselves out of Danger, and in a little time out of the Kingdom, directing their March to the next Seaport Town, which was not in the Enemies Hands, from whence they found their way Home. If these Troops were serviceable at the _Boyne_, they certainly might have been much more useful, if they had remain'd and a.s.sisted the _Irish_ the remainder of the War; but they had shown themselves, and that was enough to answer the politick Ends for which they were sent. 'Tis suppos'd after this Defeat at the _Boyne_, that King _James_ was aware of the _French_ Politics, and so would ne'er think of returning in Person again into _Ireland_, it being abundantly sufficient if he left two or three active Generals among 'em to Alarm the Enemy and do the Drudgery of the _French_ Court, in making a Diversion to favour his Conquests in other Parts of the World. But to return to the Series of my own Story, I had now obtain'd Liberty of the City of _Dublin_ upon Paroll, and spent my Life pretty agreeable, especially when I understood that a kind of a Cartel was fix'd, and there was no Danger of a Halter. My long stay in _Dublin_ brought me acquainted with several General Officers of King _William_'s Army, who were my Countrymen and well acquainted with my Family. The great Respect they showed me, was, as I perceiv'd at long run, in order to debauch me from King _James_'s Service; but it was not in my power at that time, to remove the Scruples I was entangled in as to the Revolution; besides I had other Motives urgent enough not to engage in the _English_ Service, till I had seen a little more Abroad. But in the midst of all the Disasters I met with, nothing affected me with a more sensible Grief than the Thoughts of _Lewis_ the XIVth's Insincerity, for though it only rid my Mind in the Nature of a Scruple or first Impression, yet I found it grow daily more and more upon me, and often in the height of my Diversions it lay upon my Stomach like an indigested Meal; yet at the same time I durst not mutter the least of this Matter to the greatest Confident I had in the World; for I was sensible what would be the Consequence of such a Liberty of Speech, and that nothing less than perpetual Imprisonment in the _Bastile_ must have atton'd for the Crime, and that King _James_ wou'd have look'd upon himself as oblig'd to have justify'd the Conduct of _France_, though perhaps he lay under the same Jealousies with myself in regard of _French_ Politics. How often have I, when I have been alone, exaggerated my Folly in engaging in a Cause, which the princ.i.p.al Agent never design'd to bring to an Issue? but then again I have corrected my self for giving way to a false Impression, and condemning the Conduct of so many Thousands who had more Experience than I could lay claim to, and yet willingly went all the Lengths of the _French_ Court. Now as I always had a great Respect for Men of Years and Experience, so I was resolv'd to silence all the Scruples relating to _French_ Politicks, and see an end of the _Irish_ War, not so much under the Influence of a _French_ Power (which never did any real Service to King _James_ in _Ireland_) but because so many worthy Gentlemen eagerly pursue the Cause, whom I had Reason to think were better Judges of such high Matters than my self. And what in the next place I was to undertake, was how to be releas'd from my Confinement, in which I cou'd find no Difficulty besides a breach of Paroll, my Person being every Day at Liberty, but understanding that several Persons in the same Circ.u.mstances with my self, were partly conniv'd at when they made their Escape. I took the same Method, and rather chose to walk off, than wait to be exchang'd, or Bribe for my Enlargement. Perhaps the Reader will expect here to be entertain'd with the remaining Part of the _Irish_ War, especially where I was employ'd; but he must be content to be inform'd in General, That as I made it a Law with my self ne'er to omit any Occasion of improving my self in the Art of War, so I took particular care not to be upon any Foreign Duty in the Day of Action. I was wounded at the Battle of _Aghram_, where I had one of my Legs broke, and lost two Fingers with the cut of a Sabre. I was at the first Siege of _Limerick_, and help'd to surprize the Enemy's flying Camp and Provisions they were carrying to supply the main Army that was carrying on the Siege. Afterwards I entred the Town, and remain'd there during the Siege, having the Liberty to pa.s.s over into _France_ with the rest of the _Irish_ Troops upon the Articles of _Limerick_; but there was one remarkable Pa.s.sage happen'd to me during the Siege of that Town, which I cannot dispense with my self to pa.s.s over in Silence; it was rather a casual Matter, than a Design laid, however it equally answer'd the end.

At one of the Sallies, in which we design'd to overthrow a Mount they had made to raise a Battery upon, after a smart Engagement, it being in the Night, I had the opportunity to step aside and strip a _Dutch_ Granadier, and immediately putting on his Cloaths I mingled my self with the Enemy's Battalions as they drew back towards their Camp, thus unperceiv'd I had the opportunity the next Morning to view their Works and make my Remarks. But now I was somewhat at a loss how to make a hand of this Stratagem and get back into the Town, nor was I less concern'd how to avoid being discover'd as not belonging to the Enemy; but the Confusion they were in the next Day in burying their Dead and repairing their Works, made me pa.s.s undiscover'd till Night, so about Nine at Night when it was throughly dark, I stole to that Side of the Town which lies next to the Sea, and swimming over undiscover'd, I crept under the Wall, and calling softly upon the next Centinel, I inform'd him who I was, bidding him call to the Captain of the next Guard, and bring a Rope and two or three Soldiers to hall me up. I was very welcome to the Garrison, for 'twas suppos'd, I was either kill'd or taken Prisoner in the Sally. This Stratagem, though I had no Design in it at our attacking the Enemy, it being only a sudden Thought, yet it had a very good Event; for the next Sally we made, as I had observ'd, the weakest Part of the Besiegers Works, so I lead a Party of Resolute Men that way, who lost no Time, but levell'd all their Works, and dragg'd a considerable Booty into the Town.

The Wars of _Ireland_ being at an End, and the Articles of _Limerick_ Sign'd, about 15000 regular Troops were Transported into _France_, besides several Thousands of others, who all proved as useful to the Monarch of _France_ in his Wars in _Italy, Spain, Germany, &c._ as they had been in making a Three Years Diversion in _Ireland_, so happy was _France_ in making a Politick use of King _James's_ Misfortune, that _Lewis_ XIV was much a greater Gainer by his being Banish'd, than if he had remain'd in the quiet Possession of his Throne. And now there were several Speculations, what Method the _French_ King wou'd take to make the World believe he had a Design to reinstall King _James_. The most direct Means was to attempt a Descent, but this was impracticable by the way of _Ireland_; for if an Army of 30000 Men cou'd not keep it when they were actually in Possession of it, there was no likelyhood of their succeeding in a Descent, nor was it probable, that _France_ would add more Force to them who had so often refus'd them when they were in Circ.u.mstances to receive. The most favourable Interpreters of the _French_ King's Politicks, began now to think he had laid all Thoughts of a Restoration aside. King _James_'s Troops were employ'd and scatter'd where they were useless upon that Design, and his Court was modell'd, as if nothing more should be attempted. However it was thought convenient still to carry the Juggle on, and several Methods were made use of to seduce the poor Jacobites in _England_ and _St. Germains_, that their Work was still going on. Great Respect was shown to the Court of _St. Germains_ by his Most Christian Majesty, with repeated a.s.surances to stand by them: In the mean time I was permitted to leave the Army, and solace my self for two or three Months at _Paris_, where, by the a.s.sistance of my old Friend ready Money, I made my self very acceptable. It was my Happiness. .h.i.therto never to be engaged in an Intrigue with the Fair s.e.x; for though several of my Station have diverted themselves that way with much prejudice to their Business, yet I was always so bent upon War, that I cou'd never find spare Hours for such trifling Conversation, for that was the Notion I had of it. A general Whining and Pining away for a Trolloping Girl, was to me a very awker'd and inconsistent Piece of Pageantry; however, I had been often told by Persons of Experience, that no Man had so just an Idea of the World, as he that had been well hamper'd and sower'd by a Love Intrigue; for though Women appear to be only Spectators, and to bear no Sway in the Politicks of the World, yet underhand, the Fate of Kingdoms often hung at their Girdles, and the wisest of Princes often hazarded the Repose of his People for an Hours Dalliance with some Coquet and diverting Creature of the fair s.e.x. I cannot tell well how it happen'd, but I suppose by not resisting the first impressions of this kind, I found my self far gone in an Intrigue, and that without either Thought or Design; but I understood afterwards that a Breach of Idleness being espy'd in my Conduct, the Roving Deity seiz'd the Advantage and enter'd Sword in Hand. The Gentlewoman who drew me into this Snare, was no otherwise my Acquaintance than by an accidental Visit; but I was so much a Philosopher, as to know that where there is a Sympathy of Humours, all other Considerations are neglected, and a _Turk_ with those Advantages, is as capable to make a Conquest as a _Christian_. I had at my first entrance upon the Stage of the World made a double Promise to my self, the one was never to hearken to a Love Affair till I had acquired a Stock of Experience, and Money to make that Pa.s.sion Serviceable and of real Use in an honourable Way; the other was not to graft upon a Foreign Stock; but I was forc'd to humble my self under a violation of both these Purposes; for the Object of my Pa.s.sion was a _Spanish_ young Lady though of _Irish_ Extraction, her Family Transporting themselves thither about the middle of Queen _Elizabeth_'s Reign. Now I had two or three Difficulties to struggle with relating to this Affair: in the first place, I had not as yet imparted the Secret to the young Lady; again, my Brother's Example gave me grounds to think I cou'd not avoid a Quarrel with some of her Relations; but what chiefly frighted me, was the Plague of Wedding, in case we were both of a Mind, for a keen Hound is not easily call'd off from a hot Scent, till he has either caught or lost his Game. In the midst of these Perplexities, I judg'd 'twou'd be a wise Part to disclose my self to some Persons of Experience in these Matters; for in all the Skirmishes and Sieges I had been at, they never threw me into such a Consternation and Absence of Thought; and accordingly I met with an old Adept in these Affairs. When he heard my Case, after two or three Turns he approach'd me with the serious Air of a Physician, and I thinking he had Design to feel my Pulse, I offer'd him my Hand, which he only shook very gently, saying, Young Man, all the Comfort I can give you is, that you must buy your Knowledge by Experience as I and many others have done before you. All Advice is lost upon a Person in Love. Should I advice you to quit the Enterprize, I know you would not do it. A Halter or an _East-India_ Voyage may do you Service in Case you are refused. In a Word, whatever I advised you to you will certainly do the contrary; However, that you may be said to have lost your Time in coming hither, hasten to the young Lady, tell her in a Franck Cavalier way how Things are with you; give all the vent you can to your Pa.s.sion; if it blows over, you will be a wary Man hereafter, if it ends in Wedlock, any Body will inform you of the Consequences.

While the old Gentleman was entertaining me with this Lesson, my Head grew so dizy, as if some invisible Hand had turn'd it round like a Gigg, so I left him abruptly, and went directly to my Lodgings to Bed, but to this Day I cannot tell, whether I went a Foot or in a Coach my Head was in such a Confusion. The next Morning finding my ideas better rang'd, I propos'd to seize the first Opportunity to let the Lady understand the Difficulties I struggled under upon her Account; but the Nature of our Visits was such, that I cou'd not do it any otherwise than by Letter: Thus when I had once broke the Ice, and that too with a fair Prospect of making Advances, in the next Place I gain'd the Maid by the usual Methods that such Creatures are render'd Obsequious, and under her Conduct methoughts I sail'd prosperously on without the least Rub to my suppos'd Happiness; 'tis true I was at a constant Charge of Presents, Treats, and now and then a Serenade according to the _Spanish_ Customs.

But I remember at one of these Midnight Scenes of Gallantry, I saw something that gave me a great deal of Uneasiness; drawing up my Musick under the Lady's Window, besides her Face, which was at the Cas.e.m.e.nt wide open, I saw the Reflexion of a Periwig move towards the Corner of the Window; this made me vehemently suspect somebody had a better place in her Affections than my self, for there was no Male kind belonging to the Family, her Father and Brother, as she told me at other Times, being in _Spain_, to take care of some Effects they expected by the Flota from the _West Indies_. However, I endeavour'd to smother this Impression of Jealousy, attributing the Mistake to the Circ.u.mstances of Night, Candle Light, or some other false Medium that might ground it, so I was resolv'd to take no notice of it at my next Visit. But it was not long before I met with another Occasion of Jealousy, which cou'd not so easily be banish'd out of my Head. Sitting in the Chocolate House, a young Gentleman was giving himself Airs with a Snuff-box, which to my Eye (and it was my Interest to observe it very narrowly) appear'd to be the very same I had some time before presented the Lady with, and as an aggravating Circ.u.mstance, in taking Notice of the Gentleman's Periwig, it had the same Form with the Reflexion I saw up in the Lady's Chamber Window, _vid_. a flat Top, neither rais'd nor parted in the Middle, which spoke it to be a Piece of _English_ Furniture. The Sight of the snuff-box drew all my Blood into my Heart, and left my pale Cheeks to account for the Consternation, wherefore not able to contain my self had I kept my Ground, I flung out of the Chocolate House, not un.o.bserv'd by the Company to be in some Disorder; but when they look'd out of the Window and saw me stand gazing in the middle of the Street, (for my Motion thither was purely Animal, having no thought whither I was going) it encreas'd their Surprise. However, at three Steps I was got again into the Chocolate House, and with a galliard Air, addressing my self to the Gentleman with the Snuff box, _Sir_, said I, _I confirm the Gift, and may all sniffling Fools that are in Love be serv'd like me_. I allow'd no Time for a Reply, but bolting again into the Street, it came into my Head that perhaps two Snuff-boxes might be so much alike, as not to observe the difference without confronting 'em. This Thought gave me a Curiosity to step into a Toyshop, where I desired to have a Sight of the newest fas.h.i.+on'd Snuff-boxes, and when among others, I saw above half a Dozen exactly like that I had made the Lady a Present of, a Secret Confusion spread it self over my Soul to have given way to such Suspicions. The Matyrdom accustom'd by such like Thoughts as these being the usual Entertainment of Persons in my Condition, and I having read in several Moralists, _That there can be no true Love without a Mixture of Jealousy, which two rose proportionably, and that Jealousy was the greatest Plague of Human Life_. These Considerations, I say, made me Struggle hard to throw off the Tyranny I groan'd under, and it happen'd very luckily for me that within a few Days after the young Lady was sent for into _Spain_, so that I had in Election either to throw up all my Expectations in _France_, and follow her, or Moralize a Week or two; upon the Disappointment, and so recover my self again to my Senses, which I quickly did by spending my Time in a Treatise of Algebra and Fortifications. As for the Lady she parted without any Reluctance, and it mortify'd me sensibly, that what I had made a Study and Business of, was only her Diversion and Amus.e.m.e.nt; but I