Our Deportment Part 17

A gentleman should, in the evening, or whenever her safety, comfort or convenience seems to require it, offer a lady companion his arm. At other times it is not customary to do so unless the parties be husband and wife or engaged. In the latter case, it is not always advisable to do so, as they may be made the subject of unjust remarks.

KEEPING STEP.

In walking together, especially when arm in arm, it is desirable that the two keep step. Ladies should be particular to adapt their pace as far as practicable, to that of their escort. It is easily done.

OPENING THE DOOR FOR A LADY.

A gentleman should always hold open the door for a lady to enter first.

This is obligatory, not only in the case of the lady who accompanies him, but also in that of any strange lady who chances to be about to enter at the same time.

ANSWERING QUESTIONS.

A gentleman will answer courteously any questions which a lady may address to him upon the street, at the same time lifting his hat, or at least touching it respectfully.

SMOKING UPON THE STREETS.

In England a well-bred man never smokes upon the streets. While this rule does not hold good in this country, yet no gentleman will ever insult a lady by smoking in the streets in her company, and in meeting and saluting a lady he will always remove his cigar from his mouth.

OFFENSIVE BEHAVIOR.

No gentleman is ever guilty of the offense of standing on street corners and the steps of hotels or other public places and boldly scrutinizing every lady who pa.s.ses.

CARRYING PACKAGES.

A gentleman will never permit a lady with whom he is walking to carry a package of any kind, but will insist upon relieving her of it. He may even accost a lady when he sees her overburdened and offer his a.s.sistance, if their ways lie in the same direction.

SHOUTING.

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

TWO GENTLEMEN WALKING WITH A LADY.

When two gentlemen are walking with a lady in the street they should not be both upon the same side of her, but one of them should walk upon the outside and the other upon the inside.

CROSSING THE STREET WITH A LADY.

If a gentleman is walking with a lady who has his arm, and they cross the street, it is better not to disengage the arm, and go round upon the outside. Such effort evinces a palpable attention to form, and that is always to be avoided.

FULFILLING AN ENGAGEMENT.

When on your way to fill an engagement, if a friend stops you on the street you may, without committing a breach of etiquette, tell him of your appointment, and release yourself from any delay that may be occasioned by a long talk; but do so in a courteous manner, expressing regret for the necessity.

WALKING WITH A LADY ACQUAINTANCE.

A gentleman should not join a lady acquaintance on the street for the purpose of walking with her, unless he ascertains that his company would be perfectly agreeable to her. It might be otherwise, and she should frankly say so, if asked.

Pa.s.sING BEFORE A LADY.

When a lady wishes to enter a store, house or room, if a gentleman accompanies her, he should hold the door open and allow her to enter first, if practicable; for a gentleman must never pa.s.s before a lady anywhere if he can avoid it, or without an apology.

SHOPPING ETIQUETTE.

In inquiring for goods at a store or shop, do not say to the clerk or salesman, "I want" such an article, but, "Please show me" such an article, or some other polite form of address.

You should never take hold of a piece of goods or an article which another person is examining. Wait until it is replaced upon the counter, when you are at liberty to examine it.

It is rude to interrupt friends whom you meet in a store before they have finished making their purchases, or to ask their attention to your own purchases. It is rude to offer your opinion unasked, upon their judgment or taste, in the selection of goods.

It is rude to sneer at and depreciate goods, and exceedingly discourteous to the salesman. Use no deceit, but be honest with them, if you wish them to be honest with you.

Avoid "jewing down" the prices of articles in any way. If the price does not suit, you may say so quietly, and depart, but it is generally best to say nothing about it.

It is an insult for the salesman to offensively suggest that you can do better elsewhere, which should be resented by instant departure.

Ladies should not monopolize the time and attention of salesmen in small talk, while other customers are in the store to be waited upon.

Whispering in a store is rude. Loud and showy behaviour is exceedingly vulgar.

ETIQUETTE FOR PUBLIC CONVEYANCES.

In street cars, omnibuses and other public street conveyances, it should be the endeavor of each pa.s.senger to make room for all persons entering, and no gentleman will retain his seat when there are ladies standing.

When a lady accepts a seat from a gentleman, she expresses her thanks in a kind and pleasant manner.

A lady may, with perfect propriety, accept the offer of services from a stranger in alighting from, or entering an omnibus or other public conveyance, and should always acknowledge the courtesy with a pleasant "Thank you, sir," or a bow.

Never talk politics or religion in a public conveyance.

Gentlemen should not cross their legs, nor stretch their feet out into the pa.s.sage-way of a public conveyance.

AVOID CUTTING.

No gentleman will refuse to recognize a lady after she has recognized him, under any circ.u.mstances. A young lady should, under no provocation, "cut" a married lady. It is the privilege of age to first recognize those who are younger in years. No young man will fail to recognize an aged one after he has met with recognition. "Cutting" is to be avoided if possible. There are other ways of convincing a man that you do not know him, yet, to young ladies, it is sometimes the only means available to rid them of troublesome acquaintances. "Cutting" consists in returning a bow or recognition with a stare, and is publicly ignoring the acquaintance of the person so treated. It is sometimes done by words in saying, "Really I have not the pleasure of your acquaintance."