Our Deportment Part 29

"Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Snow request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Horace Allen's company at dinner, on Tuesday, the 13th of January, at 7 o'clock."

A note of acceptance may read as follows:

"Mr. and Mrs. Horace Allen accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Snow's kind invitation to dine with them on Tuesday, the 13th inst., at 7 o'clock."

A note of regret may read:

"Mr. and Mrs. Horace Allen regret exceedingly that sickness in the family (or whatever the cause may be) prevents the acceptance of Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Snow's kind invitation to dine with them on Tuesday, January 13th."

INVITATIONS TO TEA.

An invitation to a tea-drinking may be less formal and should partake more of the nature of a private note; thus:

"Dear Miss Brock: Some friends are coming to drink tea with me on Thursday, and I should be glad of the pleasure of your company also. Please do not disappoint me."

An invitation of this informal nature needs no reply, unless "R.S.V.P."

is appended, in which case the answer must be returned, if possible, by the messenger who brought it, or sent at once, as your friend may depend upon having a certain number of people at her tea-drinking, and if you cannot go, she will want to supply your place.

LESS FORMAL INVITATIONS.

Invitations of a less formal character are sent for charades, private theatricals, and for archery, croquet, sailing and garden parties; but, however informal the invitation (except only when a visiting card is used) on no account neglect to give immediate attention to it, by sending an acceptance or a regret, for any want of courtesy in this respect is unpardonable.

PROMPTNESS IN ANSWERING.

All invitations requiring answers should be answered as soon as possible after receiving them. The French have a saying, applicable to all notes of invitation, to the effect that it is as important to reply as promptly to a note requiring an answer, as it is to a question in speaking. All refined people who are accustomed to the best social forms, consider that it would be an unpardonable negligence to omit for a single day replying to an invitation or a note requiring a reply.

In accepting dinner invitations, repeat the hour and day named in your letter of acceptance, in order that if any mistake has been made it may be corrected.

Promptly acknowledge all attentions you receive, such as receiving presents of books, flowers, etc.

EXPRESSIONS TO BE USED.

The expression "presents compliments" has become obsolete in the writing of invitations. The expression "kind" or "very kind" invitation has taken the place of "polite," in notes of acceptance or regret. Be particular to distinguish between "go" and "come," you go to a friend's house and your friend comes to your house.

TIME TO SEND INVITATIONS.

Invitations for parties and entertainments of a formal nature, can be sent out for a week or two weeks before the entertainment is to take place. A notice of not less than one week is expected for such invitations. They should be printed or engraved on small note paper or large cards, with the envelopes to match, with no colors in the monogram, if one is used.

INVITATIONS FOR SEVERAL MEMBERS OF A FAMILY.

It is not considered good form to have one card of invitation answer for several persons belonging to the same family, or to address an invitation "Mrs. Blank and family," as it indicates a scarcity of cards.

One card or invitation may be sent to Mr. and Mrs. Blank, and one each to the several members of the family who are to be invited.

THE LEAST FORMAL INVITATIONS.

The least formal, of formal invitations, is when a lady sends or leaves her own visiting card with the invitation upon it. An invitation of this kind need not be answered unless an "R.S.V.P." (_Respondez s'il vous plait_), is on the card. You go or not, as you please, but if you do not go, you call, or leave a card as soon after as is convenient.

UNCIVIL ANSWERS.

Uncivil and curt, not to say rude, answers are sometimes returned to invitations, more frequently the result of carelessness in their writers than of premeditated rudeness.

"Mr. and Mrs. Adam Brown regret that they cannot accept Mrs. Smith's invitation for Wednesday evening,"

is a rude form of regret.

"Mr. and Mrs. Adam Brown decline Mrs. Moses Smith's invitation for Friday evening,"

is a still ruder form.

A curt and thoughtless reply is:

"Mr. and Mrs. Adam Brown's compliments and regrets for Friday evening."

REASONS FOR REGRETS.

"All regrets from persons who are not able to accept invitations, should contain a reason for regretting," is a rule strictly observed in our best society, and is considered especially binding in answering a first invitation. If persons are in mourning, they regret that a recent bereavement prevents them from accepting. Those contemplating being absent from home, regret that contemplated absence from home prevents them from accepting. "A previous engagement" is made the excuse when there is an engagement either at home or away from it, and also when one has no inclination to accept; which makes it quite necessary for those who really regret their inability to accept, to mention what that engagement is.

THE FAMILY LETTER.

It seems hardly necessary to give the form of a letter from one member of a family to another. It is often the case that letters sent from home to an absent member are decidedly unsatisfactory, if not to a great extent of little interest outside of one or two facts mentioned.

Consequently some hint as to what those letters should be, are here given. They should be written as though the writer were talking, using familiar expressions, and such peculiarities as the writer possesses in ordinary speech should find a place in the letter. The writer may speak of many trivial things at and about home, and gossipy matters in the neighborhood, and should keep the absent one posted upon all minor facts and occurrences, as well as the more important ones. The writer may make inquiries as to how the absent one is enjoying himself, whether he finds any place better than home, and ask such other questions as he may desire, concluding with sincere expressions of affection from various members of the family. The absent one may, in like manner, express himself freely on all subjects, describe his journey minutely, and speak of whatever he may feel deep interest in. In short, a family letter may be as gossipy as the writer can make it, without much regard to an attempt at showy or dignified composition.

THE LETTER OF FRIENDs.h.i.+P.

This should be of a more dignified tone, contain less trivialities than the family letter, and should embrace matters that will be of interest to both. A letter of friends.h.i.+p should be answered in due time, according to the intimacy of the parties, but should not be delayed long enough to allow the friends.h.i.+p to cool, if there is a desire to keep it warm.

THE LOVE LETTER.

Of this it may be only said, that while it may be expressive of sincere esteem and affection, it should be of a dignified tone, and written in such a style, that if it should ever come under the eyes of others than the party to whom it was written, there may be found in it nothing of which the writer may be ashamed, either of silliness or of extravagant expression.

BUSINESS LETTERS.

These should be brief and to the point, should be of plain chirography, and relate to the business in hand, in as few words and as clearly as possible. Begin at once without apology or explanation, and finish up the matter pertaining to the business. If an apology or explanation is due, it may be made briefly at the close of the letter, after the business has been attended to. A letter on business should be answered at once, or as soon as possible after receiving it.

It is allowable, in some cases, upon receiving a brief business letter, to write the reply on the same page, beneath the original letter, and return both letter and answer together.