Our Deportment Part 39
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[Ill.u.s.tration]
CHAPTER XXIX.
Business.
In the chapter on "Our Manners," we have spoken of the importance of civility and politeness as a means of success to the business and professional man. It is in the ordinary walks of life, in the most trivial affairs that a man's real character is shown, and consequently every man, whatever may be his calling, will do well to give due attention to those trivial affairs which, in his daily a.s.sociation with men of the world, will give him a reputation of being cold, austere, and unapproachable, or warm-hearted, genial, and sympathetic.
FORM GOOD HABITS.
It is important for the young man learning business, or just getting a start in business, to form correct habits, and especially of forming the habit of being polite to all with whom he has business relations, showing the same courteous treatment to men or women, poorly or plainly dressed, as though they were attired in the most costly of garments. A man who forms habits of politeness and gentlemanly treatment of everybody in early life, has acquired the good-will of all with whom he has ever been brought into social or business relations. He should also guard against such habits as profanity, the use of tobacco and intoxicating liquors, if he would gain and retain the respect of the best portion of the community, and should, if possible, cultivate the habit of being cheerful at all times and in all places.
KEEP YOUR TEMPER.
In discussing business matters, never lose your temper, even though your opponent in a controversy should become angry, and in the heat of discussion make rude and disagreeable remarks and charges. By a calm and dignified bearing and courteous treatment you will conquer his rudeness.
HONESTY THE BEST POLICY.
"Honesty is the best policy," is a maxim which merchants and tradesmen will find as true as it is trite, and no tradesman who wishes to retain his customers and his reputation will knowingly misrepresent the quality of his goods. It is not good policy for a merchant or clerk, in selling goods, to tell the customer what they cost, as, in a majority of cases, he will not be believed.
THE EXAMPLE OF A MERCHANT PRINCE.
The value of politeness to a merchant is nowhere more clearly shown than in the case of the late A.T. Stewart, the merchant prince of New York.
He not only treated every customer he waited upon with the utmost courtesy, but he demanded it of every employe, and sought for men possessing every quality of character tending to secure this suavity of manner, in the selection of his salesmen and clerks. He required them to observe rigidly all rules and forms of politeness, and would allow no partiality shown to people on account of their dress, those clad in humble apparel being treated with the same affability and politeness as those richly dressed. Everybody who entered his store was sure of receiving kind and courteous treatment. This may, or may not, have been his secret of success, but it certainly gained and retained for him a large custom, and was one element in his character which can be highly commended. And every merchant will be judged of by his customers in proportion to the courteous treatment they receive from him, or from clerks in his store. The lawyer or the doctor will also acquire popularity and patronage as he exhibits courteous and kind treatment to all with whom he comes into social or business relations.
BREAKING AN APPOINTMENT.
Do not break an appointment with a business man, if possible to avoid it, for if you do, the party with whom you made it may have reason to think that you are not a man of your word, and it may also cause him great annoyance, and loss of time. If, however, it becomes absolutely necessary to do so, you should inform him beforehand, either by a note or by a special messenger, giving reasons for its non-fulfillment.
PROMPTLY MEETING NOTES AND DRAFTS.
Every business man knows the importance of meeting promptly his notes and drafts, for to neglect it is disastrous to his reputation as a prompt business man. He should consider, also, apart from this, that he is under a moral obligation to meet these payments promptly when due. If circ.u.mstances which you cannot control prevent this, write at once to your creditor, stating plainly and frankly the reason why you are unable to pay him, and when you will be able. He will accommodate you if he has reason to believe your statements.
PROMPT PAYMENT OF BILLS.
If a bill is presented to you for payment, you should, if it is correct, pay it as promptly as though it were a note at the bank already due. The party who presents the bill may be in need of money, and should receive what is his due when he demands it. On the other hand, do not treat a man who calls upon you to pay a bill, or to whom you send to collect a bill, as though you were under no obligation to him. While you have a right to expect him to pay it, still its prompt payment may have so inconvenienced him as to deserve your thanks.
GENERAL RULES.
If you chance to see a merchant's books or papers left open before you, it is not good manners to look over them, to ascertain their contents.
If you write a letter asking for information, you should always enclose an envelope, addressed and stamped for the answer.
Courtesy demands that you reply to all letters immediately.
If you are in a company of men where two or more are talking over business matters, do not listen to the conversation which it was not intended you should hear.
In calling upon a man during business hours, transact your business rapidly and make your call as short as is consistent with the matters on hand. As a rule, men have but little time to visit during business hours.
If an employer has occasion to reprove any of his clerks or employes, he will find that by speaking kindly he will accomplish the desired object much better than by harsher means.
In paying out a large sum of money, insist that the person to whom it is paid shall count it in your presence, and on the other hand, never receive a sum of money without counting it in the presence of the party who pays it to you. In this way mistakes may be avoided.
CHAPTER x.x.x.
Dress.
To dress well requires good taste, good sense and refinement. A woman of good sense will neither make dress her first nor her last object in life. No sensible wife will betray that total indifference for her husband which is implied in the neglect of her appearance, and she will remember that to dress consistently and tastefully is one of the duties which she owes to society. Every lady, however insignificant her social position may appear to herself, must exercise a certain influence on the feelings and opinions of others. An attention to dress is useful as retaining, in the minds of sensible men, that pride in a wife's appearance, which is so agreeable to her, as well as that due influence which cannot be obtained without it. But a love of dress has its perils for weak minds. Uncontrolled by good sense, and stimulated by personal vanity it becomes a temptation at first, and then a curse. When it is indulged in to the detriment of better employments, and beyond the compa.s.s of means, it cannot be too severely condemned. It then becomes criminal.
CONSISTENCY IN DRESS.
Consistency in regard to station and fortune is the first matter to be considered. A woman of good sense will not wish to expend in unnecessary extravagances money wrung from an anxious, laborious husband; or if her husband be a man of fortune, she will not, even then, encroach upon her allowance. In the early years of married life, when the income is moderate, it should be the pride of a woman to see how little she can spend upon her dress, and yet present that tasteful and creditable appearance which is desirable. Much depends upon management, and upon the care taken of garments. She should turn everything to account, and be careful of her clothing when wearing it.
EXTRAVAGANCE IN DRESS.
Dress, to be in perfect taste, need not be costly. It is unfortunate that in the United States, too much attention is paid to dress by those who have neither the excuse of ample means nor of social culture. The wife of a poorly paid clerk, or of a young man just starting in business, aims at dressing as stylishly as does the wealthiest among her acquaintances. The sewing girl, the shop girl, the chambermaid, and even the cook, must have their elegantly trimmed silk dresses and velvet cloaks for Sunday and holiday wear, and the injury done by this state of things to the morals and manners of the poorer cla.s.ses is incalculable.
As fas.h.i.+ons are constantly changing, those who do not adopt the extremes, as there are so many of the prevailing modes at present, can find something to suit every form and face.
INDIFFERENCE TO DRESS.
Indifference and inattention to dress is a defect of character rather than virtue, and often denotes indolence and slovenliness. Every woman should aim to make herself look as well as possible with the means at her command. Among the rich, a fondness for dress promotes exertion and activity of the mental powers, cultivates a correct taste and fosters industry and ingenuity among those who seek to procure for them the material and designs for dress. Among the middle cla.s.ses it encourages diligence, contrivance, planning and deftness of handiwork, and among the poorer cla.s.ses it promotes industry and economy. A fondness for dress, when it does not degenerate into vain show, has an elevating and refining influence on society.
APPROPRIATE DRESS.
To dress appropriately is another important matter to be considered. Due regard must be paid to the physical appearance of the person, and the dress must be made to harmonize throughout. An appropriate dress is that which so harmonizes with the figure as to make the apparel unnoticeable.
Thin ladies can wear delicate colors, while stout persons look best in black or dark grey. For young and old the question of appropriate color must be determined by the figure and complexion. Rich colors harmonize with brunette complexions or dark hair, and delicate colors with persons of light hair and blonde complexions.
Our Deportment Part 39
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Our Deportment Part 39 summary
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