The Shadows Of Christmas Past Part 16

"It would be nice if it were that simple, but it isn't. You need licensed people who know what they're doing, an enormous area, and all exotics have special needs. You can't return them to the wild like a lot of people mistakenly want you to do." Maia realized her voice was rising, and she blushed, holding up her hands in surrender. "I'll stop, it's the only safe thing to do."

Cole leaned over to brush her mouth with his. "I like you all fired up. I can see we aren't going to have any hunting on this property anytime soon."

She looked fl.u.s.tered, indignant, a little wary. Maia pulled away from him, glancing at Jase, who was grinning. "Is the weather really going to give us a break tomorrow?"

Immediately the smile left the boy's face. "Not that much of a break, right Cole? Not enough to get into town."

Cole's expression shut down completely. His shoulders tightened. He drummed his fingers on the table, watching Maia closely. "We could probably get you out if you really wanted to leave before Christmas, Maia. I don't want you to go, and neither does Jase, but if you have somewhere important to go, we'll do our best to get you there."

Jase shook his head hard, his lips pressed tightly together. Maia caught the glitter of tears in his eyes as he turned away from her. The room was suddenly filled with terrible tension.

"Somehow I can't see the two of you taking care of the mountain lion without me." She tried to keep her voice teasing to lighten the situation. Her heart was breaking for them both. A man and boy struggling to be normal when they didn't even know what normal was. She didn't need the pretense from them, and she didn't want it. Deliberately she poked Jase in the ribs. "You'd get eaten, although if Cole doesn't feed you every five minutes, the cat might be in danger."

"It would depend on how hungry I am," Jase said.

"Are you saying you would eat a cat?" Cole lifted his eyebrow, but inside he could feel the tight knots in his stomach beginning to loosen. She wasn't going to leave them. He had a reprieve.

"Ugg, you're a sick, sick man, bro. I wouldn't really."

Maia stood up, pus.h.i.+ng back her chair. "I'm off to work; you both behave while I'm gone."

"Actually, we're coming with you," Cole said decisively.

Maia shrugged and picked up her bag. Frankly, she'd feel far better if they did come with her. If Cole was right, and his father had hidden something on the ranch that people felt was worth killing for, she didn't want to run into someone looking for it.

Wally looked much better, and there was no sign of infection. His temperature was normal, and he was moving around the enclosure much more comfortably. Maia fed him his antibiotics with his grain and hay while Jase talked to him at great length.

"He's a natural with animals," she told Cole, seeing the pride on his face as he watched his brother. "If he wants to be a veterinarian, he'll be a good one."

"He's a great kid," Cole agreed, leaning one hand against the wall near her head, effectively caging her between the wall and his body. "And he's smart, Maia. The old man was a complete b.a.s.t.a.r.d, but he had brains. Jase is serious about hitting the books. He hasn't gone to a regular school, but he's had the best of tutors. Brett Steele didn't want idiots for sons, and he made certain we were well educated."

"You don't have to convince me, Cole, I can see Jase is smart." She was fairly certain Cole had no idea how proud of his brother he sounded.

"I wanted to thank you, for saying you'll stay through Christmas. He really needs you here." Cole hesitated a moment. He could hear his own heartbeat. "I do too." Had he really said it aloud? d.a.m.n, he sounded pathetic. He stood there, blocking her way so she couldn't walk away from him, terrified of losing her when he didn't really have her. When had his feelings changed from wanting to go to bed with her to needing her in his life? How had she wrapped herself inside of him?

Maia stroked a hand down his chest. There were shadows in his eyes, a set to his mouth she didn't quite understand, and she was trained and always alert to read subtleties. More and more he reminded her of the mountain lion, wary, dangerous, in need but ready to strike out if threatened. "I want to stay," she admitted softly.

Desire mingled with relief flared in his eyes. It hit her then. Cole Steele, the invincible, the man always aloof and uncaring, the man with supreme confidence, had very little where she was concerned. She went up on her toes and pressed a kiss onto his chin. "I really wanted to stay and not just because of the cat."

"Or Jase. You're very fond of Jase," he prompted, needing to hear her admission.

She laughed, her eyes warming into a brilliant blue-green. It was all he could do not to sweep her up into his arms and carry her off. Who would have thought one person could impact his life this way, make something he thought he lacked come alive deep inside of him and thrive and grow into such intense emotions.

"You're such a baby. I'mvery fond of Jase."

He waited. When she didn't continue he stepped closer until her soft b.r.e.a.s.t.s pushed against his chest and his hips aligned perfectly with her, pressing against her body. "That's not very nice."

There was a growl to his voice, a sensuality that sent fire zinging through her veins. It was impossible to resist him and she didn't even try. She moved her hips suggestively, a slight feminine enticement, her body soft and welcoming. "I wanted to stay to be with you."

"Was that so hard?" He lowered his lips to hers mostly because he had to, because if he didn't he might really lose his mind and carry her off. The shape of her mouth was incredibly s.e.xy, especially when she flashed her dynamite smile. He was drowning in l.u.s.t, but more terrifying than that, he could feel love and it was overwhelming. So much so that he dared not examine the emotion too closely.

Maia's arms encircled his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. "You know it was," she murmured into his hot mouth. She loved kissing him. Loved touching him. She had no idea where it would lead, if anywhere.

Her job kept her traveling constantly and Cole Steele wasn't exactly the settling-down type. She had left herself open for a tremendous amount of pain, and worse, she'd known it before she'd ever gone to his bedroom. It had been her choice. She'd made it willingly, hoping she would think her time with him had been worth it when she had to go.

For a moment she leaned against him, into him, wanting to cling to his strength. All the while he was kissing her, making it impossible to think straight. And she didn't really want to, she wanted the fire flas.h.i.+ng through her veins and over her skin. And she wanted the warmth in her heart, filling her until she ached with it.

Jase banged Wally's stall gate closed with a little extra force to remind them he was still in the barn. Maia glanced at him to find him grinning from ear to ear. He shook his head at her.

"I know. He's just irresistible, but we won't mention it because he's already so arrogant we can't take it."

"Speak for yourself, Doc," Jase protested. "He doesn't do a thing for me."

"Come on, you two," Cole said. "I'm letting you clean out the stalls while I feed the horses just for that, Jase," he added.

Jase put his hand on his back and began groaning loudly as he followed them along the covered walkway to the stable.

Cole and Jase fed and watered the horses while Maia wandered around the stable, taking her time, trying to get a feel of the place. It was a beautiful structure, well lit and functional. The horse stalls were roomy, and each led to the wide ring in the center of the building where the horses could be exercised and worked in any kind of weather. Like everything else, the builders had spared no expense, and the setup was as good as it could get.

Maia leaned against the gate of a stall and talked softly to the occupant, waiting for the horse to come to her. She loved horses, loved the way they moved and the way they pressed their velvet noses into her palm when she murmured to them. They were always responsive. Most of the horses had memories of packing bundles along a mountain pathway to one of the larger buildings on the ranch. Two had memories of a young boy being beaten. The horse in the corner stall had vivid memories of being ridden hard, quartering the ground back and forth up in a mountainous area. A shudder ran through the horse when it recalled the sight of a mountain lion perched on a branch a distance away, the rifle burst, and the cat leaping to the ground and disappearing into heavy foliage.

"Are you picking up anything?" Cole asked curiously.

Maia nodded. "But I'm not certain what you're looking for."

"Landmarks, something I can use to identify the area they were in, rock formations, the type of trees, a mountainous area versus a valley or a meadow. We have a couple of thousand acres, and if we include the state and federal lands, we're looking for a needle in a haystack."

"I'll try again, but I can't direct them. I'm sort of a receiver." She felt she was failing him. The information was obviously important.

Cole's hand curled around the nape of her neck, his thumb sliding along her jaw. "Whatever you give me is more than I had to start with."

"Give me a little more time with this one." She indicated the horse in the corner stall.

Cole watched as she brushed the animal and spoke softly to it, spending another fifteen minutes lavis.h.i.+ng attention on it. He waited to ask her about the images until after she had fed the mountain lion and checked it over thoroughly. She was mostly worried about infection. The cat stared at Cole and Jase the entire time, and they kept a good distance away at Maia's insistence, but behind her back, Cole had a weapon out and ready if the animal made one wrong move toward Maia.

"I'm telling her," Jase whispered, a grin on his face.

Cole shrugged. "She can learn to live with it," he said, his jaw set in a stubborn line. "Someone has to look out for her."

Maia stroked a hand through the cat's fur before leaving it to rest, backing out of the shed. "The two of you look as if you're up to some deep dark conspiracy." The truth was, the lines etched so deep in Cole's face were softening, and every once in a while a faint smile would appear. There were times he actually appeared at peace. Even Jase seemed more relaxed and laughed often.

Her heart gave a funny little lurch. She felt a part of them, as if they were all connected in some strange way. As if she belonged. Maia had to look away, tears burning in her eyes. It was ridiculous to be so involved so fast. She could only put it down to the intensity of the Steele brothers' needs. The thought of leaving them was breaking her heart, so she just couldn't think about it. She would have Christmas with them, and that would have to be enough.

"Whatever you're thinking about, stop," Cole instructed, his arm curving around her waist to draw her beneath his shoulder. "You looked so sad." He put his other arm around Jase's shoulders, pulling him closer as well. "I want you to help Maia inside with her baking. I'm expecting you to look after her, Jase."

Maia glanced up at his face quickly. He was moving them both back toward the house at a brisk pace.

A small spurt of fear burst through her. "What are you going to be doing?"

"Just looking around a little more. I need for you to tell me if you have any other details for me." He reached past her to open the door to the mudroom.

Maia waited until they were back in the kitchen and she had control of her frantically beating heart. He wasn't going to go looking around a little; he was going to bait a trap for a killer. She feared he was the bait.

"You're shaking your head." His tone was very gentle. "Does that mean you don't have anything for me?"

"No, it means I don't want you to do this. Go to the police."

"I am the police."

Maia sank into a chair. "I know, but you don't have anyone to help you."

"Maia, I would never go into a situation without backup. I'm good at what I do. I trusted you with the mountain lion and the wolves. You'll have to trust me with this."

She flashed him a faint smile. "Should I stand out in the yard with a gun?"

"No, you can stay in here and have faith that I'm really not a nice guy at all." He sat down across from her. "What did you see that could help me?" He glanced at his brother, who was leaning against the counter, his face pale. "I'll need you to listen to her, Jase, and help me figure this out."

The boy took a deep breath and nodded, dropping into the chair next to Maia.

Beneath the table, Maia slipped her hand into the teenager's. "I didn't get much that made sense to me, but I can describe the area fairly well. It's definitely up in the mountains, where there are lots of trees.

There are huge rocks and a formation that looks as if it's a fortress. I had the impression of a series of caves."

"Yeah, I've been there," Jase said. "I went one time when the old man was gone on a business trip. I snuck away from the men watching me and got lost. I found a trail off of the streambed, just past where the waterfall is. I followed it because the trail was a little wider than a deer trail and my horse had almost automatically turned on it, as if he'd been there before. I was pretty certain I could find my way back, and eventually I did."

"I remember those old caves. You didn't go into them, did you?"

"No, I was only about nine at the time and pretty scared of all the stories the hands told about bears and mountain lions."

"Which are true," Cole pointed out. He stood up and pushed back his chair. "I'm going to take the snowmobile out while the weather is holding." He glanced at his watch. "I've got about an hour and a half before the next storm breaks."

"I don't like you going out alone," Maia objected, shaking her head adamantly. "Let's just call the police and let them investigate."

"I agree, Cole," Jase said, trying to sound adult and firm. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I'm just going to take a look around," Cole said. "Nothing's going to happen to me. You both have to remember, the old man owned this town. The police, the school officials, even the counselors were afraid of him. They needed his money, and he had too much political clout to fight him. I don't know who at the police department I can trust. And if he was smuggling something, especially drugs, he's been doing it for years and getting away with it. That means corruption somewhere."

Maia put her arm around Jase. "An hour and a half, Cole. Give me a number to call, someone you trust, if you don't come back."

He studied her face, set in a determined expression, for a moment before scribbling a number on a tablet beside the phone. "Give me two hours, Maia. I'll be back, I promise."

"You'd better be," she answered.

chapter 13.

The snow had been falling for hours. Maia stared out at the white, silent world. It had seemed so beautiful, a sparkling crystal world, and now it appeared hostile and suffocating. The world outside her window was so white; even though it was nighttime, it appeared light. Through the swirl of flakes she could see the trees and shrubbery encased in ice. Long icicles hung from the overhang of the walkways and decorated the outbuildings. The corrals had layers of snow topping each rail. There was no movement, the world was silent and still as if locked in a frozen time frame.

Cole had come back from his snowmobile ride on time, but his entire demeanor had changed. He hadn't discussed anything with either Jase or her. He'd glanced at their baking project, an elaborate gingerbread house, nodded without really listening to them, and disappeared into an office to spend the rest of the evening on the phone. He was distant and almost frightening, his features expressionless, his eyes hard.

He seemed so remote from her, almost as if he were a different person.

"Maia?"

She whirled around, her heart pounding, her hand going protectively to her throat. There'd been no sound to give him away, but Cole stood in the middle of her bedroom wearing only a soft pair of jeans.

His face was in the shadows, and he looked intimidating, a man possessing raw power, filling the room with his muscular build and the force of his personality.

"You aren't afraid of me, are you?"

Maia took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She knew wild animals, had been around them in various environments, and she was well aware that Cole's instincts were those of a trapped animal. She could almost smell the danger emanating from him.

"You've put on your DEA persona, the one you use to stay alive," she stated, her gaze meeting his steadily. "Poor Jase was frightened, and, yes, so was I. You become a different person, one neither of us is familiar with."

"Dammit, Maia."

She sent him a feint smile. "If it keeps you alive, Cole, it's all right with both of us. Whatever it takes to do your job, just do it and don't worry about us being a little uncomfortable with it Jase told me you were this way when he first met you. I don't blame him for being intimidated."

"What do I do?"

"You put distance between yourself and everyone else, and you shut down your emotions."

"I work undercover, Maia. I can't be showing my emotions to the world, and if I discuss anything with anyone, someone might overhear me or be an enemy. That's the world I live in."

"It's the world you'vealways lived in. As an adult, you simply went out and found the environment most comfortable for you, the one you were familiar with, where you knew all the rules."

He pushed a hand through his hair, his only sign of agitation. "Am I going to lose you because you finally figured out who I really am?"

She smiled, her lips curving into a soft, amused smile that lit up her face. "I've always known who you are, Cole. I knew there was this side of you. It comes out at unexpected times, and it's disconcerting and intimidating, but it isn't anything I can't handle." She shrugged. "You don't know me very well. Most things don't throw me all that easily. I was raised to be my own person, to think for myself and follow my instincts. I can be afraidfor you and not be afraidof you."

"Come here to me."

"You need to talk to Jase. He's too young to understand why you need to withdraw from him." She crossed the distance because she couldn't resist the dark sensuality of his voice. There was something in him she couldn't help but respond to, and tonight he wore that dark intensity she found so compelling.

"I will, Maia," he promised, drawing her into his arms. "I didn't like not having you in my bed."

"I've only been in your bed once, Cole," she pointed out.

"You were there all night. I've never wanted anyone in bed with me all night. I can't sleep because I'm always on edge and feel I have to be alert just in case. I didn't feel that way with you. I wrapped my arms around you and fell asleep. It felt right."

"You didn't do much sleeping."

His hand cupped her face, his thumb sliding over her soft skin. "I'm planning on not sleeping much tonight either."