Full Share Part 33

"I'm not sure I remember how to act without a watch schedule to guide me, Captain."

"My advice is sleep while you can. It's the one thing you'll never have enough of at the academy," she said with a straight face and a twinkle in her eye.

"Thank you, Captain. Good advice."

"Now, that the s.h.i.+p's business is complete, let me tell you how proud I am of you. You've come a long way since the scared boy that came aboard in Neris, and I'm sure your mother would be proud as well."

She caught me with that one, and I started to tear up. I could feel my control crumbling even as I tried to grab a hold of it.

"Well, silly me," she said gently, "I seem to have left my tablet on the bridge. If you'd be so good as to excuse me, Mr. w.a.n.g. I'll just leave you here for a few ticks."

She crossed to the door. Before opening it, she said very gently without turning, "Tissues are by the sofa. Use as many as you need." She slipped out and latched the door behind her.

I cried then. I cried for my mother, dead two years and not properly mourned until that moment. I cried for Lois because I was going to miss her so much. I cried because I was going to have to say goodbye to Diane, Brill, Beverly, Cookie, and even Mr. Maxwell. I cried because I had come to love this place and these people who had welcomed me into their home and let me make it mine for a time when I needed the shelter. I cried for me because I hurt, even though I knew that hurt would pa.s.s. And I cried because while I knew the boy I had been was still inside, I also knew he would never be the same.

In a surprisingly short time, I cried myself out. I had an astonis.h.i.+ng pile of tissues to deal with, and the feeling that my throat might be raw for a while. I cleaned myself up as best I could and dropped the soggy wad down the disposal chute, smiling with the silly thought that part of me would be staying with the s.h.i.+p.

By the time the captain returned with her tablet, I was more or less under control. If she noticed anything untoward about my appearance, she didn't mention it.

"Right then," she said. "I think that's about it. There's a packet of information you might find useful waiting for you at the gangway, including storage cubes of your personnel jacket and your personal records from the s.h.i.+p's system. There's also information about where you might stay on the orbital until Captain Carstairs arrives."

"Thank you, Captain. It's been an honor serving on the Lois. I'll never forget all you've done for me."

"I know you'll do us proud, Mr. w.a.n.g," she said, and shook my hand.

"I'll do my best, Captain."

As I left the cabin, I was uncertain about what to do. I had the day to pack but the urge to leave immediately seized me. I headed for berthing and put everything but the clothes I would wear ash.o.r.e into a duffel. I wondered if they used s.h.i.+psuits on the Bad Penny but I would have a couple of days to sort that out. I pulled out my civilian model peeda and wondered if I could get a new tablet at the academy. In the meantime, I made sure the bank balances and other information I needed from the tablet were properly reflected on my peeda. The split from our trading and my acc.u.mulated pay and shares amounted to just over twenty-four kilocreds. It seemed like an insane amount but I knew it was going to have to last for a long time. Everything seemed to be in order.

By then it was time for lunch so I thought that the mess deck would be the best place to catch any members of the crew that might be around. When I got there, it was a typical first day in port. I was the only one there. The buffet was spiced beefalo and I inhaled a lungful of the aroma so I would never forget it.

Cookie was there, of course, and he came out and shook my hand. "You have done well, Ishmael," he said with a smile. "Take care of Pip," he added with a sly wink. He didn't linger but instead went back to his work.

I got my food and settled on the mess deck just as Diane came in. "Oh good!" she said, and crossed to where I was sitting. "You're released, right?"

"Yeah, just taking advantage of a free meal. I need to be off the s.h.i.+p by 18:00."

"Good," she said, and grabbed my head and kissed me very soundly. She came up for air after a long and very pleasant kiss, looking as dazed as I felt. "Whew! I've wanted to do that for a long time. You take care of yourself, Ishmael w.a.n.g," she added and with another little peck on the nose headed back out of the mess deck.

Cookie, Pip, and Sarah were all looking out at me-Cookie with a smile, Pip with a grin, and Sarah with a considering look. After Diane, I was a little worried about what Sarah might be considering.

Cookie and Sarah turned back to working on something in the kitchen that I could not see and Pip came out to sit with me for a bit. "I'm not sure it's safe to sit this close to you. I don't wanna cramp your style."

"I hope she enjoyed that as much as I did."

"Heckfire! I hope she enjoyed as much as I did!"

"So, I've gotta be off the s.h.i.+p by 18:00. There's a packet at the gangway with housing information so I better go check that out this afternoon and see what we've got to work with. How about you?"

"I'll be joining you tomorrow. We'll have to try to find something fun to do."

"Is the Alistair in?"

He laughed. "I'll have to look it up." He turned serious then and said, "It's gonna be okay, I think."

Sitting there on the mess deck, I could almost believe it. I got up to bus my dishes for the last time. When I turned, Sarah stood behind me. She was smiling, not a big smile, but still with a kind glow to it. "Blessings upon you, Ishmael w.a.n.g," she said, and she reached up to pull my head down to kiss my forehead once. She released me and I smiled back at her.

"Thank you, Sarah. Fare you well, wherever you go."

Pip looked at me strangely, but it felt right somehow. Silly, perhaps, but right and I knew it was time to go. "You're leaving now?" he asked "Yes," I said, suddenly very sure. "Lois is done with me and it's time to move on."

"I'll tell them," Pip said without my having to ask which them he was talking about and I thanked him with a nod.

I headed down to berthing to change into civvies. After that, it was a matter of a tick to collect my duffel, reset the locker, and run the linens into the recycler. In two ticks, I was at the lock and checking out.

Fong had the duty and handed me a thick envelope with a couple of data cubes, and several folders of information. The one marked housing indicated a hotel on level seven and listed a reservation number.

"All in order, Ish?" Fong asked.

"I don't know yet," I told him with a smile. "It seems I've already got a reservation. I was hoping to say goodbye to a few people, but I suppose they'll be at Jump! huh?"

"I think everybody but those with the duty will be there," he said with a grin. "You going?"

I laughed. "I think I have to, don't I?" The envelope went into my duffel along with all my other worldly possessions and the folder with the reservation information slipped into a jacket pocket. Fong zeroed out my ma.s.s allotment, accepted my tablet, and opened the lock for me.

"Thanks. See you tomorrow night."

"Safe voyage, Ishmael. In case I miss you."

"Safe voyage, Fong."

I walked out of the lock and turned to watch it close. "Safe voyage, Lois," I said, and then headed for the lift.

Chapter Thirty-Two.

Dunsany Roads...o...b..tal

2353-July-18

Walking away across the icy cold docks toward the lift, I felt numb-not outside from the cold but inside. In part I still felt wrung out from my encounter with the captain, but mostly because I knew I was walking away from the Lois for the last time. Walking away from Beverly, Brill, Diane, and all the others. I gave a little snort of amus.e.m.e.nt then, remembering that before coming aboard I was the guy with no friends. On the one hand, that had made it easy to leave Neris, and on the other, almost impossibly difficult to walk across that dock, leaving them all behind. My brain turned numb so I could do what needed doing.

The lift was open and waiting when I got to it. I punched level seven. As I got off, I realized with a start that it was the same hotel that Alvarez had taken me to over a stanyer before. I wished I had my tablet so I could see if the Duchamp was docked. I was without it for less than ten ticks and I already missed it. "It's just a good s.p.a.cer hotel, that's all," I said to myself. Still, even after a year, the memory of that little escapade gave me a kick in the chest and I wondered if I would ever see her again. For that matter, would I see anybody again? Well, other than at the going away party, anyway.

Thinking of the party made me feel a little better. They were not all gone-yet.

At the front desk, I gave the reservation number from my packet.

The clerk pulled up the record. "Yes, sir. Mr. w.a.n.g, is it?" He held out a thumb pad.

"I didn't make this reservation. Can you tell me what the terms are?"

"The suite is reserved through the twenty-first, sir." Something in my face or stance must have alerted him to the problem because he added. "The suite has been paid in advance."

Of course, I thought. "Let me guess. Lois McKendrick?"

He consulted his screen. "Yes, sir. Is there a problem?"

"No, not at all. Thank you, everything is fine." I pressed my thumb to the pad and he gave me a key. Lois was still looking out for me, it seemed. The first time I had run across Lois, I remembered thinking that it was a little weird, but over time, I thought I could almost hear her. I smiled to myself thinking about how Pip teased me when I talked about Lois as if she were real.

The room was down a side pa.s.sage. I opened the lock and stepped into a hotel suite that seemed huge after two stanyers living in the cramped berthing area. There was a living room with a wet bar and small chiller. A large holo unit hung on one wall across from a comfy looking couch with coffee tables on either side. There was also a love seat and some overstuffed chairs. It was big enough to have a good-sized party in. I laughed softly to myself and wondered if that was Lois's intention. The room had a small head-bathroom, I corrected myself-just to the left of the entry door and to the right, a door to the next room was ajar. I pushed through into the bedroom. It was not as large as the main room, but still substantial with two full-sized beds.

As I stowed my duffel in the closet, I wondered what I would need for clothes on the trip to Port Newmar. I knew I would be buying uniforms and filling a new duffel bag when I got to the school, so I was less concerned about that. When I visited the Bad Penny in Niol, Pip's cousin Roger had been aboard but not wearing a s.h.i.+psuit. I needed information and I reached for my tablet before I remembered it was gone. The civilian model peeda just didn't have the same communications options, and I wondered if I could find a s.p.a.cer grade tablet of my own.

I really needed to talk to Pip.

Then I remembered my portable. If it could tie into the s.h.i.+pNet, maybe it would find the station net the same way the tablets did. In two ticks, I had it set up on the coffee table and logged in. The computer found the hotel connection without difficulty, and I pulled up the standard station access including messages and the Union Hall display. The Bad Penny was listed as inbound.

I dropped Pip a message so he would have my civilian address and asked, "Should I buy more civvies for the trip or does the Penny have s.h.i.+psuits?" While I was at it, I dropped Mr. von Ickles a similar query about the availability and advisability of tablets. My portable was nice, but I really missed the tablet.

I sat back then and took a deep breath. The connection via station net made me feel a bit better. I was not really cut off completely, and I could contact people when I needed to. Of course, the only people I knew to contact were on the s.h.i.+p, but that would change as Pip and I started out on our new adventure to Port Newmar, or when the s.h.i.+p left-whichever came first.

I stood up just as the response from Pip came back. "I'll be there right after lunch tomorrow. Relax. We'll go shopping."

Mr. von Ickles' response came in right behind it. "Don't buy anything. I'll explain at the party."

I can certainly wait that long, I thought as I settled back on the sofa. The cus.h.i.+ons were soft and comfy in ways that I had not known I had missed aboard s.h.i.+p for two stanyers. I snorted a soft laugh at myself. Funny the things you never notice.

The suite was almost silent. I could hear the faint environmental noises from the air ducts, and people out in the pa.s.sageway as if they were a long way off. The fan in my laptop sounded loud in the hush. I sat there for as much as two ticks, listening to the quiet and marveling that I didn't have anything to do for the next few stans. Nothing at all. After two stanyers aboard the Lois-and during my entire life before that, if I were honest about it-I finally had nothing I needed to do, and n.o.body I needed to answer to, except myself.

The heady notion collapsed under the weight of not knowing what to do next.

I chuckled to myself and stood to hang my coat up in the closet beside my duffel when I remembered the chip. My fingers slid into the inner pocket of the jacket and pulled out Henri Roubaille's data chip with the flourished R on the case. I checked my impulse to hang up the coat and, instead, changed course for the door. A short visit to Chez Henri was just what the doctor ordered.

Chez Henri was still in the same place and looked the exactly as I remembered. Entering through the front doors, I noticed that even the woman at the podium hadn't changed. I was surprised when her eyes widened in recognition.

"M. w.a.n.g," she said with a smile, "how nice to see you again."

I do not know if she really remembered me or just picked up a biosensor relay somewhere, but being greeted by name after only one visit over a year ago certainly perked up my ego.

"h.e.l.lo, and thank you. It's good to be back," I replied, holding out the chip to her. "I'd like to see about getting a few fresh s.h.i.+rts? And perhaps a pair if dress slacks?"

She slotted the chip but gave the readout only a perfunctory glance before replying, "Of course, monsieur. If you'd come this way?" She led me through one of the side doors to a waiting room and pointed out a comfy chair. "Please make yourself comfortable. M. Roubaille will be along in just one moment. May I get you some refreshment?"

"No, thank you, mademoiselle. I'll be quite comfortable."

She gave a small wink and a smile as she left to return to her post.

No sooner had she exited when M. Roubaille bustled in from the other door with a beaming smile and an outstretched hand. "M. w.a.n.g! A pleasure to see you again. Without your entourage this time?"

"Yes, monsieur." I stood to shake his hand and we settled into opposing chairs. "I've left the Lois McKendrick en route to the academy at Port Newmar. They couldn't be with me this afternoon."

"Dommage, but you are moving up and moving on and you have come to me for a.s.sistance with your wardrobe. Congratulations on being accepted to the academy. An excellent establishment," he said before turning to the business at hand. "How may we help you today?"

"I need some fresh s.h.i.+rts and under things. I'll be in transit for the next few weeks and I suspect my supply of civilian attire is inadequate to the journey."

He pursed his lips in a small moue of consideration and squinted his eyes slightly as he observed me. "Perhaps," he said with a small question in his voice. "Maybe we need to see what we see."

He stood suddenly and beckoned me to follow as he bustled out the same door he had entered. "Come, Ishmael. We have work."

It was a simple matter to select a few s.h.i.+rts and some fresh underwear, but M. Roubaille refused to stop there. "Come, come, Ishmael. You've worn that jacket and jeans for too long. It's time for you to move up. You're going to the academy and you must be properly attired," he chided me and held out a dark coat. "Just try this on."

I sighed and laughed. "Very well, monsieur." I relented and let him slip the coat on over my arms and settle it across my shoulders before turning to the mirror. I almost didn't recognize the man looking back at me. He smiled tentatively at first and then with more a.s.surance. I recognized some of him from those many months ago when I first signed the Articles on Neris and saw him for the first time in his s.h.i.+psuit in the locker room before heading up to the Lois McKendrick. He had grown since. Not just in frame, but there was something about the eyes and the set of his mouth in a kind of half smile. I recognized the jacket with a shock as well. It was not the same one that I had tried on at Bresheu's booth back on St. Cloud, but it was very similar. The fit was exquisite and I now recognized it as being cut in a cla.s.sically elegant style. A bit dramatic, perhaps, but where I had considered it too theatrical at Bresheu's, I now realized it to be merely stylish. The dark charcoal color with small flecks of a darker gray was so tastefully done as to almost melt in your mouth.

I must have stared for a long time because M. Roubaille prompted me. "Is everything all right, Ishmael?"

My focus s.h.i.+fted to look at him in the mirror and I smiled. "Oh, yes, monsieur. Very good. I was just reminded of something and became lost in my thoughts."

He smiled knowingly. "It happens. This jacket looks very good on you. A bit more formal than your peacoat, but less formal than the dress uniforms you'll be required to wear at the academy functions. Perhaps a good transitional piece for your wardrobe?"

"Do you have a pair of slacks that would go with this, perhaps?" I asked with a smile. I had no idea how I was going to pay for this and still afford the academy, but I was determined to at least look.

M. Roubaille smiled and produced a pair of slacks in a slightly lighter tone of charcoal. In no time at all I was wearing the most exquisite suit I'd ever seen. After the obligatory stretching, straightening, and adjusting, he p.r.o.nounced the fit parfait and I knew that I had found what I had come for.

The moment of truth collapsed upon me then and I asked to see the accounting.

"Of course, M. w.a.n.g," M. Roubaille said with a smile, as I finished re-dressing in my original clothing. He handed me a tablet with the purchases itemized. I avoided looking at the total as I scanned down the list of smaller items at the top and reached the bottom without gasping. The prices were very reasonable and even the total with the jacket and slacks was only slightly more than I had paid a year before. I knew I had more than enough cash to cover it, but the thought of going to the academy knowing I didn't have enough to finish gave me pause.

M. Roubaille was arranging to get the slacks hemmed to the correct length with one of the a.s.sistants, and I caught sight of the lush fabric once more. Before I could talk myself out of it, I thumbed the contract. There would be plenty of opportunity for regret, and for once, I was willing to take a chance that I might regret buying the suit over the certainty that I would regret leaving it.

I handed the tablet back to him. "Thank you, M. Roubaille. That is quite satisfactory."

He smiled when he took the tablet back. "Thank you, Ishmael. We'll have these delivered to your suite within two hours. I trust that will be adequate?" he said as we walked back through the lobby and beyond.

"Very, M. Roubaille, and I thank you once more for a wonderful time." I smiled and we shook hands.