Redemption Series: Redemption Part 34

"Go on, Reagan." John chuckled. "It was just getting good." Reagan nodded, and her eyes danced as she made contact with several of them around the table. She certainly wasn't shy, but she wasn't bold or obnoxious either. Kari looked at her sisters and saw that they were caught up in the story as well. Even Ashley.

This girl was good. She'd won them all over in a matter of minutes.

The tale continued about how Luke had refused to let Reagan play on their team.

So a few possessions later, when a spot opened on the other team, Reagan had taken it.

Luke started to stand. "Anyone need anything from the garage? I'll be in there hiding until-"

Reagan tugged on his sleeve, and he sat back down. She lowered her chin and turned teasing eyes toward him. "You can wait. Your dad asked, after all."

304 Luke groaned, and Reagan laughed lightly. "Our team beat his, but I don't think that's what won him over." She cast him a look of mock curiosity. "That wasn't it, was it?"

Both Luke's elbows came up on the table, and he covered his eyes. "Here we go."

Reagan leaned forward. "I think it was the three-pointer I buried in his face to win the game." She nodded, as if looking for some kind of confirmation from him.

"Yeah, that was it."

John laughed so hard his face turned red. "Well, it's about time someone showed him how to do it."

Chuckles rang out across the table, and again everyone began talking at once.

They found out that Reagan had grown up in North Carolina and was attending Indiana University on a volleyball scholars.h.i.+p. She attended a church that met on campus, and by all appearances she seemed to have a quiet and genuine faith.

When Reagan and Luke left for a movie half an hour later, Kari and the others waited in silence until the front door closed. Then they all looked at each other and giggled the way they'd done when-Luke was thirteen and a neighbor girl would come calling for him.

"I think I hear wedding bells," Erin squealed and nodded conspiratorially toward their mother. "Don't you guys?"

Kari grinned. "I like her."

"Definitely. Give it a year." Brooke stretched and looked at her watch.

"I'll second that." Ashley stood and cleared several dessert plates on her way into the kitchen. Kari was thankful her sister had been polite while Reagan was there, and now she seemed genuine in her response.

Elizabeth just smiled quietly and shrugged. "You never know. G.o.d has a plan for everyone's life. Reagan just might be part of the plan for Luke."

The conversation continued, but after hearing their mother's comment, Kari was no longer listening. Was it true? Scripture backed it up, of course, but still-a specific plan? For everyone?

305 Kari bit her lip as the voices around her faded. Had she really listened to G.o.d when she and Ryan were dating? Or had she somehow missed G.o.d's plan?

She looked at Tim, deep in conversation with Erin's husband. Even now, the sight of him filled her with equal parts of love and pain.

She thought about the slow course of their healing, how painful it really was, how much Tim's affair had cost them. Physical intimacy, for instance, was still a problem. No matter how badly she wanted to work things out, she froze every time Tim touched her. The counselor said it might be months before that changed.

Lost in thought, she stood up from the table and began to stack the remaining dessert dishes. The counselor had handled the issue carefully.

"We'll take it one month at a time," he had told them in a joint session the first week they met with him after the intensive marriage seminar. "A physical relations.h.i.+p has to be rebuilt over time as trust is regained. For now I'd avoid anything too intimate." He had laid down a set of guidelines to oversee their physical contact for now. Back rubs were good, he told them, and kissing was fine if they were both willing; but beyond that, any physical intimacy was off-limits, at least until the counselor deemed them ready to move on.

The counselor's mandate came as a relief to Kari. Obviously, one day their lovemaking would be good again. But for now she couldn't imagine being intimate with Tim. What if he compared her to his former student? What if he had a disease?

That issue had been covered too. It was simple, the counselor told them. Tim would have to be tested. Twice. The first test came a week after meeting with the counselor and was negative. The second test was coming up in a few weeks.

` Kari sighed and carried the dishes into the kitchen. A shudder worked its way through her body. She couldn't imagine how , things might have turned out if Tim hadn't chosen to come back 306 home. They'd probably be going through divorce proceedings about the same time the baby was born.

Her mother was right. G.o.d had a plan for everyone.

There was no point looking back, wondering whether she'd gone left on life's path when G.o.d would have had her go right. Whatever wrong turns she might have made, today G.o.d's plan was for her and Tim to rebuild their marriage-no matter how painful the process. Her job was to believe that G.o.d could take the broken pieces of their lives and turn them into something beautiful.

The counselor had said something the other day that she hadn't considered before.

"Recovering from an affair can take up to a year, and during that time you'll go through seasons." He looked from Kari to Tim. "You've both struggled with feelings for other people, but you, Tim, are the responsible party here. The seasons are bound to affect Kari more than you, at least on the surface."

The seasons were these: fall, a time for anger; winter, a time for mourning; spring, a time for healing; and summer, a time for new growth.

Which meant that Kari's anger was normal-a good thing because she still had moments when she was furious. She rinsed a dish at the sink, barely listening to the conversation about Reagan and Luke still going on in the dining room.

She thought about how hard it had been to stay by Tim's side, even after he returned to her. There were days when she still wanted to hate him, nights when she was disgusted even to sleep in the same room.

But those days were growing fewer and further apart, and she could see the Lord's handprint all over the growing relations.h.i.+p she shared with her husband.

With time and counseling, her emotions seemed to be coming full circle. She once again felt Tim's love and was convinced they were learning new steps to their relational dance.

New steps. That's what it amounted to. The two of them were 307 learning the steps that would bring them together, a dance that would take them into forever. A dance that could be nothing less than G.o.d's plan for their lives. She dried her hands on a towel. Her mother was right. G.o.d had a plan for each of them, and this ... this rebuilding time with Tim was part of hers.

The snow was coming down harder than before, and weather reports predicted it could dump two feet before it was done. On the way home, Tim and Kari stopped at the market and picked up enough groceries for the week, just in case.

By the time they got home, snow had turned the driveway white, and the drifts covered the first three steps leading to their front door.

Kari sat motionless in the pa.s.senger seat and stared at the walkway. "Think it's safe?"

Tim followed her gaze. "What?"

"The steps." She turned to him, her hand over her round belly. "It rained earlier. What if there's ice under the snow?" "Nah." He looked at his watch.

"It's still early. There won't be ice until later."

She felt the baby kick beneath her fingers. "You really think it's okay?"

"Honey, there's no ice." He smiled widely and opened the car door. "I'll go first and show you."

He trudged through the snowdrifts and was glancing back at her, giving her the okay sign, when he connected with the first step and slipped. Like something from a slapstick comedy, his arms flailed out to his sides, and he landed flat on his back, disappearing into the snow.

"Oh!" Kari climbed out and marched as fast as she could toward Tim. "Honey, are you okay?"

"I think so." The words were m.u.f.fled, and as Kari reached him, she saw why. The snow had fallen on him, leaving him with a white beard. His eyes were the only part of his face visible. He looked like he was made of snow.

308 They stared at each other for a moment, wide-eyed; then Tim ~I spit the snow from his mouth. "Like I said, no ice."

The giggles had been building in Kari since she caught Tim's surprised expression as he fell. Suddenly she couldn't hold them in any longer. Laughter poured from her as it hadn't in months, and she collapsed beside him in the snow, brus.h.i.+ng the wet stuff off his face as he, too, laughed out loud.

By the time Tim made his way up the steps and helped her do the same, they were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. As they collapsed on the sofa in the front room, Kari had tears in her eyes. "The look on your face ..."

"Right, go ahead and laugh at a poor injured man." "Well, a poor injured snowman ..."

The laughter continued until finally, they were both exhausted. Only then did Kari realize something she hadn't before. This was the first time they'd laughed together, really laughed, since long before Tim moved out.

After months of anger and betrayal and grief beyond words, a seed of love and laughter deep inside them had survived. If they could laugh together now, after the long seasons of fall and winter their counselor had described, it could mean only one thing. Spring was on the way.

309.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT.

PRAYER WAS AS MUCH A PART OF Dr John Baxter's life as breathing. But it had been weeks since he'd felt the urge to pray as strongly as he did the next afternoon, less than twenty-four hours after the dinner party for Brooke.

Generally when the desire to pray was this urgent, it was attached to the face of someone he dearly loved-one of his children or possibly Elizabeth. But the prompting that kept calling him to prayer this day was not connected to any of them.

John waited until he'd seen his last patient and then locked himself behind his office door. Almost immediately he slid to his knees and closed his eyes.

What is it, Lord? Is someone in trouble?

For a long while there was silence, but then very strongly the image of Kari came to mind. That was it! He was supposed to pray for his second-oldest daughter. Of course. The baby wasn't due for three months yet, but she'd had a doctor appointment that morning. Maybe something was wrong, some kind of complication. His mind raced with the medical possibilities.

There were too many to consider.

310.

Instead, he prayed feverishly for Kari and her unborn child, for protection and mercy and kindness and grace. Most of all, he prayed that G.o.d himself would speed the healing between Kari and Tim so they could be the kind of family Kari wanted ... the kind their baby needed.

Normally as John prayed, the burden would lift. But this time, the longer he stayed on his knees the more desperate the sense of need became. After nearly thirty minutes of beseeching G.o.d on his daughter's behalf, he finally fell silent.

What else, Lord?

In response a face came to his attention, but not one John would have expected.

Knowing it was what G.o.d wanted him to do, he closed his eyes again and considered the man whose image filled his mind. Kari's husband, Tim.

John prayed for Tim as he hadn't in a very long time, asking the Lord to be close to the man, wherever he was that day, and to offer him hope and cleansing and salvation beyond anything he'd ever dreamed possible.

This time when he finished praying, he felt a peace and a.s.surance in his soul.

But he felt something else too. Something unsettling. He moved more quickly than usual as he gathered his things and prepared to go home.

Halfway there, he realized it wasn't just an unsettling thought that filled his heart.

It was a sense of impending doom, a sense that no matter how much he prayed or how fast he drove, something terrible was about to happen.

Five minutes before Tim Jacobs left his office that day, he got an idea. Instead of heading straight home, he would stop at a florist's shop and buy Kari the biggest bunch of red roses the shop had. After all, they had cause to celebrate.

For one thing, it was exactly three months until the baby's due 311 date. But the day marked an even more important milestone for them. They'd started laughing again. The night before had been the best Tim could remember having in months. Years, even. For the first time, Tim had the sense that Kari had really forgiven him-not just wanted to forgive him-and that they were going to make it after all. And that called for at least a dozen roses.

There was one more thing worth celebrating, something he tried not to dwell on too much: Angela had done nothing to pursue him.

Initially he'd been sure she'd call or come by his office, confused by his sudden departure or sure she could get him to change his mind. But apparently his note had been clear. Other than a long series of voice-mail messages she left on one particular day, she hadn't been in touch.

Though he occasionally felt the desire to call her and apologize, he knew the counselor's advice was wise. He had to stay away at all costs. Once an affair was over, there could be no going back.

He gathered a stack of papers and had one foot out of his office when the phone rang. It was unusual for him to get calls this late in the day, and he almost left it for the voice mail, but then he reconsidered. What if it was Kari? Maybe there was a problem with the baby or she needed him to bring home something from the store.

Tim propped open the door with his briefcase, tucked the folder of papers under his arm, and grabbed the receiver. "h.e.l.lo?"

There was a strange sound, and after a few seconds Tim realized someone was crying on the other end. His stomach tightened. "Kari?"

The caller didn't answer, and the soft crying sounds stopped. "It's me."

Angela's voice hit him like a physical blow. Tim sat down on the edge of his desk and swallowed. It was the call he'd been dreading. "Hi."

312 She sniffed. "I ... I know you're back with your wife. But I had to call you. Something's come up." Another few sobs sounded. "Tim, I'm ... I'm pregnant."

As the words filtered through his brain and into his soul, Tim slid slowly down the side of his desk and landed on the floor, the folder under his arm falling next to him. He rested his head on his knees and tried to calm his racing heart.

A hundred fears ignited in his gut, and nausea came over him sure and fast. If Angela was really pregnant, then everything he'd clung to, every hope that someday Kari and he would share a marriage that would outs.h.i.+ne even their early days as a couple-- all of it had been destroyed in an instant.

He closed his eyes and imagined having two children by two different women, children who would know their father's sins as clearly as they knew their names.

Even if Kari was willing to stand by him while his illegitimate child was born to Angela Manning, they could never have the wholesome family life he so desperately desired.

And all of it-every dying dream-was entirely his fault. "Tim, are you there?" He heard fresh tears in Angela's voice and a frustration she'd never revealed before.

He inhaled. The floor no longer felt stable. "I'm here." "Well ... what am I supposed to do?"

His mind worked to find a focus point, to accept the truth of what had happened.