Cineverse - Bride Of The Slime Monster Part 10

Even Delores had to admit that she felt sorry for Doctor Dread, if only for an instant. It was basic Cineverse theory that everyone had his own planet of peril, a place where he or she would fit in all too well. Who knew Dr. Dread's perfect fit would be in Bunnyland? But there was no time for misplaced sympathy. They had a job to do.

"Look, men," she said decisively. "We've neutralized Dread. Now all we have to do is find Captain Crusader."

She hesitated. She wished she felt as forceful as she sounded. There was still a part of her that wanted to search for Roger. How were they going to find Captain Crusader, anyway?

Big Louie, as usual, asked her question for her. "How are we going to find Captain Crusader, anyway?"

"No problem there, boyo," Officer O'Clanrahan a.s.sured him. "Dwight the Wonder Dog can find anyone."

"Yip bark arf arf!" Dwight agreed.

"Well, it's been awfully nice talking to you," Bigears began cheerfully.

"And meeting Dwight the Wonder Dog!" Pinknose enthused.

"But, now that Malevelo is back, we have things to do," Bigears explained.

"I have to bake some cream pies," Fluffytail agreed.

"The kind that are good for throwing!" Bigears elucidated.

"I'll have to write up some 'This Way to Bunnies' signs," Pinknose volunteered.

"Yeah," Bigears agreed, "he always falls for that one."

"You know what you have to do, Bouncer," Pinknose prompted.

The big rabbit rocked with mirth. "Yeah"-snicker, snicker-"da exploding carrots!"

All the bunnies had a good laugh.

Doc had sidled over to Delores as the rabbits relayed their plans.

"Missy?" he whispered in her ear. "Are you sure we shouldn't save him?"

Delores shook her head. "Sometimes, I'm afraid, we have to be pragmatic rather than heroic. It's a part of the Change."

Doc nodded solemnly. "Now I remember why I took to drink."

The bunnies waved a final time as they hopped back into the forest. Delores turned back to the benevolently smiling Officer O'Clanrahan."So you want to find Captain Crusader, do you?" he chortled. "Well, all we need to do is take Dwight to the last place you saw that Captain-to get the scent, don't you know. After that, the Wonder Dog will track him anywhere in the Cineverse!"

Delores decided that sounded simple enough. The last place they had seen Captain Crusader was on that island paradise where they were to be sacrificed to the Volcano G.o.d. But the Captain, in his guise as the Secret Samoan, had helped to foil that sacrifice before he disappeared.

Then, the island paradise was where they had to go. Delores imagined it would be safe enough there, now that Doctor Dread was no longer present to incite the islanders. She would have to gather the others around her and use the ring at once.

That's when they were surrounded by blue smoke, not to mention diabolical laughter.

"Ah hahahaha! Ah hahahaha!"

Delores would recognize that laugh anywhere. Even without looking at his bald head, pencil-thin mustache, or signature silver s.p.a.ce robes, she would have known instantly it was Menge the Merciless!

Dwight growled menacingly as Doc drew his six-guns and Zabana beat his chest in a clear jungle challenge. Louie cleared his throat.

"Uh, don't you think it's time we got out of here?"

"Not so fast, mortals," Menge gloated. "Doctor Dread has put out a distress signal.

Soon, every cutthroat in his employ will be converging upon this very spot. You wouldn't want to leave and miss the party? Ah hahahaha! Ah hahahaha!"

Even as he spoke, there was another pair of blue smoke explosions. The larger one was to the left, and-as the cartoon smoke drifted away on the cartoon wind- revealed Big Bertha and her many minions! Delores didn't recognize the short, stocky fellow at the center of the other dissipating cloud, although the robot and gorilla he had brought along certainly looked menacing.

"Say!" the newest villain called out as he pointed to Delores' canine companion. "Isn't that Dwight the Wonder Dog?"

"Ah hahahaha! Ah hahahaha!" was Menge's answer. "Even Dwight the Wonder Dog can't save them now! Heroic fools-there is only one thing in your future! Death!"

And with that, the entire a.s.sembled might of Cineverse villainy rushed forward.

^ ^ 9 ^ ^

"BOMBS AWAY!".

"Hey, what did we tell you!" Brian said to the Motorcycle Mob. "Roger's back, and we've still got eight hours before the Cowabunga-munga!"

Only eight hours? Roger became even more upset. When they'd escaped this place, hadn't there been more than a day? It was a forceful reminder that Cineverse time was different, and somewhat more treacherous, than time on Earth.

"Oh, yeah?" Sneer taunted. "How's he gonna surf if he's tied to that thing?"

The surfers were silent for a second.

"I know what to do!" Frankie shouted. "It's time for a surfing song!"

A surfing song? Roger was still strapped to the rocket s.h.i.+p by the heavy metal cables.

There was no way he could escape. What could he do?

"Well, you've got to give Roger this," Brian admitted admiringly. "Whenever he shows up, he sure brings some funky stuff along."

"Yeah?" Sneer jeered. "But is it funky enough to surf?" Bix Bale and the Belltones took that as their cue. Guitars and drums took up a merry surfing beat. Frankie started to sing: "Roger's strapped to a rocket s.h.i.+p.

Fella knows how to take a trip!

He'll go free, now we can't go wrong; He brought his salvation along!"

"Hey!" the crowd shouted in unison.

Boom be boom be boom be boom boom boom, the drums replied.

"Nanny nanny-nanny, nanny-nanny hey!" all the surfers chorused.

Brian took the second verse. Roger could already feel his feet tapping.

"Roger's lucky he's got Dee Dee; She's the girl who will set him free!

She's so cute and she's so svelte; A single touch and the knots will melt."

Dr. Davenport giggled and touched the cable. Roger felt the steel cords loosen and slip off his body. The cable fell into the sand with a soft but solid sound.

"Hey!" everybody yelled.

Biff bang boom de boom crash crash boom, the drums responded."Nanny nanny-nanny, nanny-nanny hey!" was the general reply, made by surfers, beach bunnies, Bix's band, the Motorcycle Mob, including-somewhat indistinctly- the Mad Mumbler. What could Dee Dee and Roger do but join in?

Roger jumped from the rocket wing, ready to Watusi.

That's when the music changed. Roger paused, midtwist. He knew what was coming before half a dozen beats had gone by. It was time for the drum solo.

Biff bang boom de boom bif bang bang bang, said the drums.

Roger blinked. He was himself again, free of dance fever. It had something to do with drum solos-you could never dance to them.

Biddeboom, the drums went. Biddeboom biddeboom bid-deboom.

Dee Dee, however, wasn't so lucky. She had stopped dancing, but she had turned to face the drummer, and was raptly watching his every move.

Biddeboom boom boom, the drums went. Biddeboom boom boom. Dee Dee jumped up and down excitedly.

If Roger had needed any further proof that Dr. Dee Dee Davenport was totally under the spell of the surfing world, this was it. n.o.body could be that interested in a drum solo- unless greater forces were at work.

Boom dedede boom boom, the drums continued. Boom dedede bif boom.

"Dee Dee!" Roger called.

"Tee hee hee,'' she replied as she bounced up and down.

"We need the ring," he insisted.

She gave him a ditzy stare. "The ring?"

Roger pointed. "In your pocket."

"Pockets? Tee hee hee. Bikinis don't have any pockets, silly!" She looked down at her white lab coat and frowned. "Hey, why am I wearing this fuddy duddy old thing?"

She rapidly unb.u.t.toned the coat and shrugged it from her shoulders, revealing the bright green swimsuit beneath. She bunched the coat into a ball and handed it to Roger. "Here. Put this someplace for me, would you? Tee hee hee."

Roger saw something flash in the sun. The ring had fallen out of the pocket.

"Dee Dee!" he called.

But she had seen it, too, and grabbed it before the ring could be lost in the sand.

"Oops," she said.They were again surrounded by blue smoke.

"Tee. Tee hee. Tee." Dee Dee s.h.i.+vered. "It's so hard to stop."

Roger looked up from where Dr. Davenport huddled beside him. This time, they had materialized directly in front of the Inst.i.tute. It was night, and there was a chill in the air. He handed her back her white lab coat.

She regained her composure as she b.u.t.toned the coat around her. "This time, I think your ring saved us." She offered Roger a wry smile. "Of course, it was probably your ring that got us into trouble in the first place." She waved for Roger to follow her as she marched toward the Inst.i.tute.

"After all, Roger," she continued as he trotted to catch up with her, "what are the chances, with all the thousands upon thousands of myriad worlds that we might have landed upon in the Cineverse, that both times you hastily used your ring to escape from danger, it deposited you in the exact same place?"

Roger hadn't thought of that. "I would say that the odds are phenomenal against that sort of thing-"

"Unless there was something about the ring that forced that result!" Dr. Davenport finished for him. "You said yourself that you were amazed, when you fixed the ring, that it worked at all. Well, unfortunately, I think it only works now in two very limited ways. When you almost drop it, as I managed to do twice in my beach bunny state, it sends you home. However, should you try to use it in the usual way-"

Roger caught her drift. "-it will deposit you back on that surfing world!"

"Exactly. Your ring, I'm afraid, only retains a very limited usefulness. Not that we should complain, after all. Its use, erratic as it is, is probably the only thing that has kept us alive."

She handed the ring back to Roger. He sighed and put it in his pocket.

"But if we don't have a working ring," he asked, "how can we ever find Captain Crusader?"

Dee Dee opened the door to the Inst.i.tute. "You mean my father?" She sighed again.

"Yes, it would be nice to see him again. There are so many questions I have to ask- especially about the fourth dimensional project." The wistfulness disappeared from her voice as she smiled back at Roger. "But anyway, who said we didn't have a working ring?"

She nodded to the security guard as Roger followed her inside.

"Dr. Davenport!" the security man exclaimed. "I didn't see you go out.''"We didn't, Sweeny," she replied laconically. "At least, not the front way-" She waved Roger past the gate. "You've already met our guest, here. We have to go back to the main computer.''

Sweeny nodded and dutifully went back to reading his newspaper.

They walked at a more leisurely pace down the long, white corridor, which gave Roger the chance to read a few more signs that he had missed before: experimental hyperdrive; robot a.s.sembly; giant insect lab. The more he wandered around this place, the more he had to admit that they practiced some Very Advanced Science at the Inst.i.tute.

Dr. Davenport once again ushered him through the door marked main computer. This time, there were no wailing sirens and warning lights; only a giant computer humming happily to itself, its tape reels spinning, its lights blinking away in sensible sequences.

"It's very peaceful in here," Dee Dee remarked, "don't you think? Sometimes a scientist needs a place like this, where she can get away." She took a deep breath, as if she might inhale the very essence of science, then walked over to one of the room's innumerable consoles and punched a series of b.u.t.tons.

"I'm going to show you something here few people have seen before. It's the latest in very advanced science-we can talk directly to this computer!" She paused for a mo- ment, perhaps to allow the concept to sink in. "Or," she continued, "perhaps I should call our mechanical friend by name. She's known as the Very Educated Research a.n.a.lyzer-or VERA. Good evening, VERA."

The computer beeped cheerily. Something made a ratch-eta-ratcheta sound on the left side of Dee Dee's console. A moment later, a foot or so of paper tape, a bit wider perhaps than the kind Roger was used to seeing in a cash register, spewed out of a slot near eye level. Dee Dee ripped off the tape and handed it to Roger.

GOOD EVENING, DR. DAVENPORT, it read.