Troubleshooters: Headed For Trouble Part 25

Alyssa continued. "Okay. So POTUS comes in-country on a regular military transport. He's boots-on-the-ground for a nanosecond-less-before he goes directly into the guns.h.i.+p, which brings him out here. And he stays for the shortest amount of time possible." She looked around again, shaking her head, and sighing again. "Even then ..."

"With all the guns.h.i.+ps providing additional security, not to mention the ones transporting the Secret Service detail and the press," Jules pointed out, "we'll be sending out a great, big We are here, attack us now."

"There's not going to be any press," Alyssa said. "Not for this segment of the trip."

"That's good to know," Jules said, then asked, "How come I didn't know that?" He looked at Koehl, who seemed preoccupied, his mind a million miles away. "Did you know that, sir?"

Koehl nodded absently, looking at his watch.

"We limit the visit to five minutes," Max decided. "Get him in and out."

"Or limit the entourage to the size of a normal USO show," Jules suggested. "With SEAL Team Sixteen riding shotgun. And just make sure we have Teams Six and Two locked, loaded, and ready to go, in case there's trouble."

"I say we recommend all of the above," Alyssa said as the first flakes of snow drifted down from the pewter-colored sky.

"Excuse me, sir." A burly red-haired SEAL officer who was nicknamed Big Mac approached Commander Koehl, but then made a point to acknowledge Alyssa, then Jules and Max. "Ma'am. Sirs. I'm sorry to interrupt, but we just got a message that the helo that was supposed to swing past and pick us up has been delayed."

"Delayed," Koehl repeated, suddenly fully alert.

"Yes, sir." The big SEAL's last name was MacInnough. What was his first name? Jules was drawing a blank.

Still, he met Alyssa's eyes, because the subtext of that message was unmistakable. "Cat's on the roof," Jules said.

She smiled at his reference, but it was tight. "Apparently."

"What's on the where?" MacInnough-Alec, his name was Alec-asked as Koehl and Max stomped off to throw their rank and status against the inevitable.

"It's a joke," Jules explained. "A bad one that kind of sums up this delayed-helo situation. I heard it from Sam Starrett, so it's Navy SEALaapproved." He looked at Alyssa. "Should I tell it?"

She smiled, and in full favorite-thing mode, with the snowflakes on her hair and eyelashes, she looked more like a woman ready for a modeling shoot than one with a high-level security clearance and the ability to hit a target with a sniper rifle from ridiculous distances. "If I said no, would that stop you?"

"Probably not." He turned to Alec. "Okay. Guy goes on vacation and asks his friend to house-sit, to feed his elderly cat while he's gone. Coupla days in, he calls the friend to see how it's going, and the guy goes, Oh, d.a.m.n, I'm so, so sorry, dude, but your cat died. And the vacation guy gets upset, of course, I mean, his cat's dead, and he says, What the h.e.l.l, Gary-I guess I've named the house-sitter Gary. That's not how you tell someone something like that. You ease into it, over the course of several days. Like when I call and say 'How's it going?' you say, 'Well, not great. The cat's on the roof. I'm trying to get him down.' And the next day, I call and you're like, 'Cat's in the tree, now. I'm sorry, man, it's looking bad.' And only then, when I'm psychologically prepared for it, you drop the bomb and tell me the truth."

The snow was coming down even harder now, and together they moved toward the main shelter where, yes, they'd be spending the night.

Oh, joy.

"Coupla days later," Jules continued, "guy calls back, and Gary answers the phone, and the guy says, How's it going? and Gary says, Not great. Your grandmother's on the roof. Bah dump b.u.mp."

"That," Alec said, chuckling, "is awesome. And you are completely right. Helo's delayed? The cat is, without a doubt, on the roof-because that helo's not coming. Not today. And? FYI? Last time I was out here at this time of year, and we got weather like this ...?"

"This is going to be great," Jules told Alyssa, who actually laughed.

"It started as an ice storm, which knocked out all power and communications," the SEAL informed them. "And then we got about three feet of snow on top of it. Total charlie-foxtrot. We were stuck here for nearly two weeks. They had to airlift in supplies."

"Fantastic," Jules said, as the skies opened up, not just with more snow, but with a very definite wintery-mix of icy rain.

They all ran the last few yards to the shelter, which was warmish and more dry, but smelled like summer camp: a cross between a wet yak and a boys' locker room that hadn't been aired out in a decade or two.

But it could've been worse.

There was coffee brewing, and as Jules pulled Alyssa with him toward the pot and collection of chipped mugs, Alec followed.

"How is Sam?" the SEAL asked.

Chapter Five.

Tarafas.h.i.+r Sam was asleep.

The former SEAL was sprawled out on one of the two rather ratty mattresses that lay directly on the worn hotel room floor, both baby boys fast asleep beside him.

Robin sighed as he did another silent inventory of their bottled water. No matter how many times he counted, he came up with the same number-not enough.

Right about now, they were supposed to have been checked in to their suite at Chez Bella, a lovely, gay-friendly resort in the Greek Isles.

Right about now, Robin was supposed to have helped Sam and Gina get the little ones into their rented cribs, so that the grown-ups could enjoy a lovely room-service dinner on their lovely private balcony that overlooked the very lovely Aegean Sea.

Instead, they were crammed into two dimly lit, seedy adjoining rooms in a run-down fleabag hotel in a third world country that, while pro-American, was extremely anti-woman and decidedly anti-gay.

"One room for the contagious," Sam had announced when they'd checked in at a front desk in a lobby that also apparently served as the local brothel, "and one for the rest of us."

Although, really, the logistics of that were challenged when both Gina and Emma needed access to a bathroom at the exact same time.

Robin had played nursemaid while Sam had kept himself and the babies properly distracted. And, eventually, the fireworks had stopped, and their two casualties fell asleep, exhausted, on the ratty mattress in the adjoining dimly lit, seedy room.

Sam then spent the best part of an hour cleaning the bejesus out of both bathrooms and was.h.i.+ng out his jeans and Emma's clothes while Robin sang songs and played peek-a-boo with Ash and Mikey.

But now all three were asleep, leaving Robin as last man standing, which meant ...

"Don't even think about it."

Robin turned to find the former SEAL watching him, apparently not-so-much asleep after all.

"Don't think about what?" Robin asked, injecting a whole load of innocence into his voice. He may have been a c.r.a.ppy liar when talking to Jules, but he was a very good actor, so he now acted like he didn't know what Sam was talking about.

But Sam wasn't fooled. "Leaving the hotel to get supplies," he said, his voice low so as not to wake the babies.

"We're almost out of disposable diapers, we definitely need more bottled water ..." The front desk only offered beverage choices of beer, wine, and whiskey, along with their main menu consisting of women and children of all ages. "And I don't know about you, but I could use something to eat."

Sam sat up. "Yeah, but you're not the one to go out shopping. Not in this city, by yourself. I think I have some Cheerios in my bag."

"Dry Cheerios," Robin repeated. "Yay, but, no thank you."

Sam shot him a look. "I have powdered milk, too, but I meant for Ash, and even Emma, in the morning, if she's up for it." He pointed with his chin toward the bag that sat on the sad-looking dresser. "I still have some power bars. And chocolate. We can make it-ration the diapers-until we're on the plane tomorrow."

Robin had to laugh, but he did it quietly. "You seriously believe we're leaving tomorrow?"

"Oh, yeah. Come h.e.l.l or high water, we are getting on that plane." When Sam said it like that, complete with his trademark Texas tw.a.n.g, it rang of absolute-factness.

It would've been so easy to buy into the former SEAL's military-officer-grade conviction. Still, Robin knew better. "The way I figure it, As.h.i.+e'll start throwing up some time around four a.m. Or Mikey. Or both of 'em, just to make life interesting. After which it's only a matter of time before you and I fall. We need to have enough food and water here in this room before that happens, because as much as you don't want me going out there, I don't want Gina going out there."

"I won't fall," Sam said with that same written-in-stone tone.

"Dream on. You're already looking green," Robin countered.

"I'm not saying I won't lose my lunch. That's coming, believe me, I know that. It's amazing it hasn't happened yet. But what I'm saying is I won't fall when I do. Trust me, I've been sick before while out in the world," Sam told him. Out in the world was slang for out on a SEAL mission. "And this situation sucks, for sure, but it's nothing like that was. I'll be able to get us the food and water we need."

He said it with that same grim certainty, but Robin was not convinced. "If you're dehydrated and delirious-"

"I won't be."

"-then it's gonna be on me," Robin said. "And I'd rather go out and get the supplies now, rather than having to leave both you and Gina alone with-"

"And I'm saying no." Sam held up his hand, his eyes tightly closed, as if he were willing away whatever awfulness he was feeling. Apparently, it didn't work, because he whispered, "Ah, f.u.c.k," and then scrambled for the bathroom.

"Okay, so I was wrong with my doomsday scenario," Robin admitted, even though there was no way Sam could hear him over the unpleasant noise he was making in that bathroom. "It's not Ash who throws up at four a.m., it's you who yukes at right-nowo'clock, followed by Ash and Mike, simultaneously, at four a.m."

Robin checked the babies. They were both sleeping soundly, lying on the firm mattress. He took the pillows and blankets off the bed. It was warm enough in there-understatement, it was a sauna-not to need them. This way, Ash and Mikey would be fine, even if they woke up.

He then checked for his wallet-it was in the back left pocket of his jeans-before moving toward the bathroom, where he expected to see Sam kneeling before the porcelain G.o.ddess through the slightly open door. "I'll see if housekeeping has some kind of bucket we can borrow, so you can at least sit out there and keep an eye on-"

But Sam was already standing and rinsing his face from the questionable water coming out of the faucet of the sink.

Robin pushed the door all the way open. "Don't drink any of that," he warned, and Sam shot him a baleful look.

"I'm not an idiot, Boy Wonder."

"For all I know, you're delirious."

"Will you stop with the delirious." Sam wiped his face with a towel, then braced himself on the edge of the sink as he glared into the mirror, as if willing himself to be well enough to run their errands in a strange city in a foreign country in the middle of the very dark and potentially dangerous night.

"I can do this," Robin said.

"What if someone recognizes you?" Sam asked, and the fact that he was no longer flatly saying no was a testament to how awful he was feeling.

"Then ... I'll sign an autograph for them ...?"

Sam didn't laugh. "I'll go, and just f.u.c.king get this over with."

Robin countered with his own worst-case scenario "What if you go out, and you stop to puke, and someone thinks you're vulnerable-which you will be, because, h.e.l.lo, you're puking-and they mug you?"

"That'll be their mistake," Sam said.

"Not if they catch you off-guard and knock you unconscious."

"Not gonna happen."

"Your eyes are closed right now," Robin pointed out.

Sam opened them and looked at him. "Because I'm pretty sure you're not going to jump me."

Somewhere, in some far corner of the city, a siren started to wail.

"What is that?" Robin asked, but Sam shook his head. Fortunately it wasn't close enough to wake Gina, Emma, or the boys.

"Maybe a fire alarm?" Robin suggested.

"Could be," Sam agreed, but he didn't look or sound convinced. "Grab my phone, will you? It should be done charging by now."

Robin went out to where Sam's phone was plugged into an adapter that was plugged into the outlet in the wall. It was only slightly charged, but he brought it in to Sam anyway.

"f.u.c.king brownout slows everything down," Sam muttered as he straightened up and took it, flipping over to his messages-of which there were apparently none. "s.h.i.+t, I got no bars, to boot." He tried making a call anyway, but gave up to again grip the sink when it didn't go through. The distant sirens had stopped, which was good. Wasn't it?

"Fahhhk," Sam breathed as Robin returned from plugging the phone back into the charger. "How could there be anything left in my stomach?"

It was a rhetorical question, not meant to be answered. Still ... "Don't fight it," Robin advised.

Sam shook his head. "See if your phone has service," he ordered from between clenched teeth.

"While I do that," Robin said, "you see if it helps to just let go."

To his credit, Sam nodded and growled, "Close the f.u.c.king door."

Robin did as he took out his phone and simultaneously checked on the babies, who were no doubt dreaming they were back in the womb-it was that hot and humid in the hotel room.

His phone was useless, no service, no Internet. He tried making a call anyway-to Jules-but it beeped three times and went dark. Of course, that could've been Jules's inability to get a connection wherever he was, so Robin called what he thought of as the Troubleshooters Incorporated hotline. Day or night, it would connect him to whoever was on call at the office where Sam and Alyssa worked. But it, too, beeped and denied.

Robin tried texting Jules. Now Sam's got the flu, too. Is there anyone local to provide a.s.sist? Maybe upgrade us to guest quarters in a private residence? Wishful thinking on my part? Be safe. We're ok. Love you.

He pushed send, and the message vanished, but his phone didn't make that satisfying swoos.h.i.+ng sound that meant the text had gone through.

In the bathroom, the dying ogre sounds finally stopped and the toilet flushed.

Then Sam was back to running the water in the sink. Still, Robin knocked softly as he opened the bathroom door.

Sam glanced up. He looked like c.r.a.p, and now his hands were shaking as he toweled off his face, but he said, "That helped."

Robin bit back the bulls.h.i.+t, and instead said, "I wish we could go back in time, and stop ourselves from getting on that flight. We'd already be in London."

Where the concierge knew him by name, thanks to his fame.

What else can I get for you, Mr. Chadwick Ca.s.sidy? How else can I help you, Mr. Chadwick Ca.s.sidy? Is there anything else you need, Mr. Chadwick Ca.s.sidy?