Our Friend the Charlatan Part 61
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"It depends upon what you understand by devoting myself. Beyond a doubt, Lady Ogram would have approved the idea as you put it."
"And would she not have given me her confidence as its representative?"
asked Dyce, smiling.
"Up to a certain point. Lady Ogram desired, for instance, to bear the expenses of your contest at Hollingford, and I should like to carry out her wish in the matter."
A misgiving began to trouble Lashmar's sanguine mood. He searched his companion's face; it seemed to him to have grown more emphatic in expression; there was a certain hardness about the lips which he had not yet observed. Still, Constance looked friendly, and her eyes supported his glance.
"Thank you," he murmured, with some feeling. "And, if, by chance, I should be beaten? You wouldn't lose courage? We must remember--"
"You have asked me many questions," Constance interrupted quietly. "Let me use the privilege of frankness which we grant each other, and ask you one in turn. Your private means are sufficient for the career upon which you are entering?"
"My private means?"
He gazed at her as if he did not understand, the smile fading from his lips.
"Forgive me if you think I am going too far--"
"Not at all!" Dyce exclaimed, eagerly. "It is a question you have a perfect right to ask. But I thought you knew I had _no_ private means."
"No, I wasn't aware of that," Constance replied, in a voice of studious civility. "Then how do you propose--?"
Their eyes encountered. Constance did not for an instant lose her self-command; Lashmar's efforts to be calm only made his embarra.s.sment more obvious.
"I had a small allowance from my father till lately," he said. "But that has come to an end. It never occurred to me that you misunderstood my position. Surely I have more than once hinted to you how poor I was?
I had no intention of misleading you. Lady Ogram certainly knew----"
"She knew you were not wealthy, but she thought you had a competence. I told her so, when she questioned me. It was a mistake, I see, but a very natural one."
"Does it matter, now?" asked Dyce, his lips again curling amiably.
"I should suppose it mattered much. How shall you live?"
"Let us understand each other. Do you withdraw your consent to Lady Ogram's last wish?"
"That wish, as you see, was founded on a misunderstanding."
"But," exclaimed Lashmar, "you are not speaking seriously?"
"Quite. Lady Ogram certainly never intended the money she had left in trust to me to be used for your private needs. Reflect a moment, and you will see how impossible it would be for me to apply the money in such a way."
"Reflection," said Dyce, with unnatural quietness, "would only increase my astonishment at your ingenuity. It would have been much simpler and better to say at once that you had changed your mind. Can you for a moment expect me to believe that this argument really justifies you in breaking your promise?"
"I a.s.sure you," replied Constance, also in a soft undertone, "it is much sounder reasoning than that by which you excuse your philosophical plagiarism."
Lashmar's eyes wandered. They fell upon the marble bust; its disdainful smile seemed to him more p.r.o.nounced than ever.
"Then," he cried, on an impulse of desperation, "you really mean to take Lady Ogram's money, and to disregard the very condition on which she left it to you?"
"You forget that her will was made before she had heard your name."
He sat in silence, a gloomy resentment lowering on his features. After a glance at him, Constance began to speak in a calm, reasonable voice.
"It is my turn to confess. I, too, seem to myself to have been living in a sort of dream, and my awaking is no less decisive than yours. At your instigation, I behaved dishonestly; I am very much ashamed of the recollection. Happily, I see my way to atone for the follies, and worse, that I committed. I can carry out Lady Ogram's wishes--the wishes she formed while still in her sound mind--and to that I shall devote my life."
"Do you intend, then, to apply none of this money to your personal use?
Do you mean to earn your own living still?"
"That would defeat Lady Ogram's purpose," was the calm answer. "I shall live where and how it seems good to me, guided always by the intention which I know was in her mind."
Dyce sat with his head bent forward, his hands grasping his knees.
After what seemed to be profound reflection, he said gravely:
"This is how you think to-day. I won't be so unjust to you as to take it for your final reply."
"Yet that's what it is," answered Constance.
"You think so. The sudden possession of wealth has disturbed your mind.
If I took you at your word," he spoke with measured accent, "I should be guilty of behaviour much more dishonourable than that of which you accuse me. I can wait." He smiled with a certain severity. "It is my duty to wait until you have recovered your natural way of thinking."
Constance was looking at him, her eyes full of wonder and amus.e.m.e.nt.
"Thank you," she said. "You are very kind, very considerate. But suppose you reflect for a moment on your theory of the equality of man and woman. Doesn't it suggest an explanation of what you call my disordered state of mind?--Let us use plain words. You want money for your career, and, as the need is pressing, you are willing to take the enc.u.mbrance of a wife. I am to feel myself honoured by your acceptance of me, to subject myself entirely to your purposes, to think it a glorious reward if I can aid your ambition. Is there much equality in this arrangement?"
"You put things in the meanest light," protested Lashmar. "What I offer you is a share in all my thoughts, a companions.h.i.+p in whatever I do or become. I have no exaggerated sense of my own powers, but this I know, that, with fair opportunity, I can attain distinction. If I thought of you as in any sense an enc.u.mbrance, I shouldn't dream of asking you to marry me; it would defeat the object of my life. I have always seen in you just the kind of woman who would understand me and help me."
"My vanity will grant you that," replied Constance. "But for the moment I want you to inquire whether you are the kind of man who would understand and help _me_.--You are surprised. That's quite a new way of putting the matter, isn't it? You never saw _that_ as a result of your theory?"
"Stay!" Dyce raised his hand. "I know perfectly well that you are ambitious. If you were not, we should never have become friends. But you must remember that, from my point of view, I am offering you such a chance of gratifying your ambition as you will hardly find again."
"That is to say, the reflection of _your_ glory. As a woman, what more can I ask? You can't think how this amuses me, now that I have come to my senses. Putting aside the question of whether you are likely to win glory at all, have you no suspicion of your delightful arrogance? I should like to know how far your contempt of women really goes. It went far enough, at all events, to make you think that I believed your talk about equality of the s.e.xes. But really, I am not quite such a simpleton. I always knew that you despised women, that you looked upon them as creatures to be made use of. If you ask: why, then, did I endure you for a moment? the answer must be, that I am a woman. You see, Mr. Lashmar, we females of the human species are complex. Some of us think and act very foolishly, and all the time, somewhere in our curious minds, are dolefully aware of our foolishness. You knew that of _men_; let me a.s.sure you that women share the unhappy privilege."
Lashmar was listening with knitted brows. No word came to his lips.
"You interest me," pursued Constance. "I think you are rather a typical man of our time, and it isn't at all impossible that you may become, as you say, distinguished. But, clothed and in my right mind, I don't feel disposed to pay the needful price for the honour of helping you on. You mustn't lose heart; I have little doubt that some other woman will grasp at the opportunity you so kindly wish to reserve for me. But may I venture a word of counsel? Don't let it be a woman who holds the equality theory. I say this in the interest of your peace and happiness. There are plenty of women, still, who like to be despised, and some of them are very nice indeed. They are the only good wives; I feel sure of it. We others--women cursed with brains--are not meant for marriage. We grow in numbers, unfortunately. What will be the end of it, I don't know. Some day you will thank your stars that you did not marry a woman capable of understanding you."
Dyce stood up and took a few steps about the floor, his eyes fixed on the marble bust.
"When can I see you again?" he asked abruptly.
"I shall be going to London in a day or two; I don't think we will meet again--until your circ.u.mstances are better. Can you give me any idea of what the election expenses will be?"
"Not yet," Dyce answered, in an undertone. "You are going to London?
Will you tell me what you mean to do?"
"To pursue my career."
"Your career?"
Our Friend the Charlatan Part 61
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Our Friend the Charlatan Part 61 summary
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