The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 30

_Pe._ Nothing but what was new. All Things changed, all Things become new. See how soon Time changes all human Affairs. Methought I came into another World. I had scarce been absent ten Years, and yet I admired at every Thing, as much as _Epimenides_ the Prince of Sleepers, when he first wak'd out of his Sleep.

_Ch._ What Story is that? What Fable is that?

_Pe._ I'll tell you if you are at Leisure.

_Ch._ There is nothing more pleasant.

_Pe._ Then order me a Chair and a Cus.h.i.+on.

_Ch._ That's very well thought on, for you will tell Lyes the better, sitting at Ease.

_Pe._ Historians tell us a Story, of one _Epimenides_ a Man of _Crete_, who taking a Walk alone by himself without the City, being caught in a hasty Shower of Rain, went for Shelter into a Cave, and there fell asleep, and slept on for seven and forty Years together.

_I don't believe it. The Form._

_Ch._ What a Story you tell? 'Tis incredible. What you say is not very likely. You tell me a Fiction. I don't think 'tis true. You tell me a monstrous Story. Are you not asham'd to be guilty of so wicked a Lye?

This is a Fable fit to be put among _Lucian's_ Legends.

_Pe._ Nay, I tell you what is related by Authors of Credit, unless you think _Aulus Gellius_ is not an Author of approv'd Credit.

_Ch._ Nay, whatsoever he has written are Oracles to me.

_Pe._ Do you think that a Divine dream'd so many Years? For it is storied that he was a Divine.

_Ch._ I am with Child to hear.

_The Answer._

_Pe._ What is it more than what _Scotus_ and the School-men did afterwards? But _Epimenides_, he came off pretty well, he came to himself again at last; but a great many Divines never wake out of their Dreams.

_Ch._ Well go on, you do like a Poet; But go on with your Lye.

_Pe._ _Epimenides_ waking out of his Sleep, goes out of his Cave, and looks about him, and sees all Things chang'd, the Woods, the Banks, the Rivers, the Trees, the Fields; and, in short, there was nothing but was new: He goes to the City, and enquires; he stays there a little While, but knows no Body, nor did any Body know him: the Men were dress'd after another Fas.h.i.+on, than what they were before; they had not the same Countenances; their Speech was alter'd, and their Manners quite different: Nor do I wonder it was so with _Epimenides_, after so many Years, when it was almost so with me, when I had been absent but a few Years.

_Ch._ But how do your Father and Mother do? Are they living?

_Pe._ They are both alive and well; but pretty much worn out with old Age, Diseases, and lastly, with the Calamities of War.

_Ch._ This is the Comedy of human Life. This is the inevitable Law of Destiny.

_Words, Names of Affinity._

_Pe._ Will you sup at Home to Day?

_Ch._ I am to sup abroad: I must go out to Supper.

_Pe._ With whom?

_Ch._ With my Father in Law; with my Son in Law; at my Daughter's in Law; with my Kinsman. They are call'd, _Affines_, Kinsmen, who are ally'd not by Blood, but Marriage.

_Pe._ What are the usual Names of Affinity?

_Ch._ A Husband and Wife are noted Names. _Socer_, Is my Wife's Father.

_Gener_, My Daughter's Husband. _Socrus_, My Wife's Mother. _Nurus_, My Son's Wife. _Levir_, A Husband's Brother. _Levir_ is call'd by the Wife, as _Helen_ calls _Hector_, _Levir_, because she was married to _Paris_.

_Fratria_, My Brother's Wife. _Glos_, A Husband's Sister. _Vitricus_, My Mother's Husband. _Noverca_, My Father's Wife. _Privignus_, The Son of my Wife or Husband. _Privigna_, The Daughter of either of them.

_Rivalis_, He that loves the same Woman another does. _Pellex_, She that loves the same Man another does; as _Thraso_ is the Rival of _Phroedria_, and _Europa_ the _Pellex_ of _Juno_.

_Of inviting to a Feast._

_Dine with me to Morrow._

_Pe._ I give you Thanks, I commend you, I invite you to Supper against to Morrow, I entreat your Company at Supper to Morrow. I desire you'd come to Dinner with me to Morrow. I would have your Company at Dinner to Morrow.

_I fear I can't come._

_Ch._ I fear I can't. I am afraid I can't. I will come if I can; but I am afraid I can't.

_Why?_

_Pe._ Why can't you? How so? Why so? Wherefore? For what Reason? For what Cause? What hinders you that you can't.

_I must stay at Home._

_Ch._ Indeed I must be at Home at that Time. I must needs be at Home at Night. I must not be abroad at that Time. I shall not have an Opportunity to go out any where to Morrow. I must not be absent at Dinner. I expect some Guests myself upon that Day. Some Friends have made an Appointment to sup at our House that Night. I have some Guests to entertain that Night, or else I would come with all my Heart. Unless it were so, I would not be unwilling to come. If it were not so, I should not want much entreating. I would make no Excuse if I could come.

If I could come, I would not be ask'd twice. If I could by any Means come, I would come with a very little, or without any Invitation at all.

If I could, I would obey your Command very readily. It is in vain to ask one that is not at his own Disposal: And there would be no need to ask me if I could come: But at present, though I had never so much Mind, I can't; and it would be altogether unnecessary to ask one that is willing.

_Pe._ Then pray let me have your Company the next Day after: However, I must needs have your Company at Supper the next Day after to Morrow. You must not deny me your Company four Days hence. You must make no Excuse as to coming next Thursday.

_I can't promise._

_Ch._ I can't promise. I cannot positively promise you. I can't certainly promise you. I will come when it shall be most convenient for us both.

_You ought to set the Day._

_Pe._ I would have you appoint a Day when you will come to sup with me.

You must a.s.sign a Day. You must set the Day. I desire a certain Day may be prefix'd, prescrib'd, appointed, set; but set a certain Day. I would have you tell me the Day.