The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 5

_Liv._ From Montacute College.

_Ge._ Then sure you are come loaden with Letters for us.

_Liv._ Not so, but with Lice I am.

_Ge._ Well then you had Company enough.

_Liv._ In truth it is not safe for a Traveller now a Days to go without Company.

_Ge._ I know well enough a Louse is a Scholar's Companion. Well but do you bring any News from _Paris_?

_Liv._ Ay, I do, and that in the first Place that I know you won't believe. At _Paris_ a _Bete_ is wise, and an _Oak_ preaches.

_Ge._ What's that you tell me?

_Liv._ That which you hear.

_Ge._ What is it I hear?

_Liv._ That which I tell you.

_Ge._ O monstrous! Sure Mushrooms and Stones must be the Hearers where there are such Preachers.

_Liv._ Well, but it is even so as I tell you, nor do I speak only by hear say, but what I know to be true.

_Ge._ Sure Men must needs be very wise there where _Betes_ and _Oaks_ are so.

_Liv._ You are in the right on't.

_Of enquiring concerning Health._

_Ge._ Are you well?

_Liv._ Look in my Face.

_Ge._ Why do you not rather bid me cast your Water? Do you take me for a Doctor? I don't ask you if you are in Health, for your Face bespeaks you so to be; but I ask you how you like your own Condition?

_Liv._ I am very well in my Body, but sick in my Mind.

_Ge._ He's not well indeed that is sick in that Part.

_Liv._ This is my Case, I'm well in my Body, but sick in my Pocket.

_Ge._ Your Mother will easily cure that Distemper. How have you done for this long Time?

_Liv._ Sometimes better, and sometimes worse, as human Affairs commonly go.

_Ge._ Are you very well in health? Are your Affairs in a good Condition? Are your Circ.u.mstances as you would have them? Have you always had your Health well?

_Liv._ Very well, I thank G.o.d. By G.o.d's Goodness I have always had my Health very well. I have always been very well hitherto. I have been in very good, favourable, secure, happy, prosperous, successful, perfect Health, like a Prince, like a Champion, fit for any Thing.

_Ge._ G.o.d send you may always enjoy the same. I am glad to hear it. You give me a Pleasure in saying so. It is very pleasant to me to hear that.

I am glad at my Heart to hear this from you. This is no bad News to me.

I am exceeding glad to hear you say so. I wish you may be so always. I wish you may enjoy the same Health as long as you live. In congratulating you, I joy myself, Thanks to Heaven for it.

_Li._ Indeed I am very well if you are so.

_Ge._ Well, but have you met with no Trouble all this while?

_Li._ None but the Want of your good Company.

_Ge._ Well, but how do you do though?

_Li._ Well enough, finely, bravely, very well as may be, very well indeed, happily, commodiously, no Way amiss. I enjoy rather what Health I wish, than what I deserved, Princely, Herculean, Champion-like.

_Ge._ I was expecting when you would say Bull-like too.

_Of being Ill._

_Ge._ Are you in good Health?

_Li._ I wish I were. Not altogether so well as I would be. Indeed I am so, so. Pretty well. I am as well as I can be, since I can't be so well as I would be. As I use to be. So as it pleases G.o.d. Truly not very well. Never worse in all my Life. As I am wont to be. I am as they use to be who have to do with the Doctor.

_Ge._ How do you do?

_Li._ Not as I would do.

_Ge._ Why truly not well, ill, very ill, in an unhappy, unprosperous, unfavourable, bad, adverse, unlucky, feeble, dubious, indifferent, State of Health, not at all as I would, a tolerable, such as I would not wish even to my Enemies.

_Ge._ You tell me a melancholy Story. Heavens forbid it. G.o.d forbid. No more of that I pray. I wish what you say were not true. But you must be of good Chear, you must pluck up a good Heart. A good Heart is a good Help in bad Circ.u.mstances. You must bear up your Mind with the Hope of better Fortune. What Distemper is it? What Sort of Disease is it? What Distemper is it that afflicts you? What Distemper are you troubled with?

_Li._ I can't tell, and in that my Condition is the more dangerous.

_Ge._ That's true, for when the Disease is known, it is half cured. Have you had the Advice of any Doctor?

_Li._ Ay, of a great many.

_Ge._ What do they say to your Case?

_Li._ What the Lawyers of _Demiphon_ (in the Play) said to him. One says one Thing, another he says another, and the third he'll consider of it.

But they all agree in this, that I am in a sad Condition.

_Ge._ How long have you been taken with this Illness? How long have you been ill of this Distemper? How long has this Illness seiz'd you?

_Li._ About twenty Days more or less, almost a Month. It's now near three Months. It seems an Age to me since I was first taken ill.