The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 51

_Ma._ You're very good-humour'd; but why don't you take her Soul from her too, and pay her in her own Coin, according to the old Proverb.

_Pa._ I should be the happiest Man in the World, if I could make that Exchange, that her Heart would pa.s.s as wholly into my Breast, as mine has into hers.

_Ma._ But may I play the Sophister with you now?

_Pa._ The Sophistress.

_Ma._ Can one and the same Body be both alive and dead?

_Pa._ Not at the same Time.

_Ma._ Is the Body dead, when the Soul is out of it?

_Pa._ Yes.

_Ma._ Nor does it animate it, but when it is in it?

_Pa._ No, it does not.

_Ma._ How comes it to pa.s.s then, that when it is there where it loves, it yet animates the Body it is gone out of? And if it animates when it loves any where, how is that called a dead Body which it animates?

_Pa._ Indeed, you argue very cunningly, but you shan't catch me there.

That Soul, which after some Sort governs the Body of the Lover, is but improperly call'd a Soul, when it is but some small Remains of the Soul; just as the Smell of a Rose remains in the Hand, when the Rose is gone.

_Ma._ I see it is a hard Matter to catch a Fox in a Trap. But answer me this Question, does not the Person that kills, act?

_Pa._ Yes.

_Ma._ And does not he suffer who is kill'd?

_Pa._ Yes.

_Ma._ And how comes it about then, that when he that loves, acts, and she that is lov'd, suffers, she that is lov'd should be said to kill, when he that loves, rather kills himself?

_Pa._ Nay, on the Contrary, 'tis he that loves that suffers, and she is lov'd, that acts.

_Ma._ You will never prove that by all your Grammar.

_Pa._ Well, I'll prove it by Logic then.

_Ma._ But do so much as answer me this one Question, do you love voluntarily, or against your Will?

_Pa._ Voluntarily.

_Ma._ Then since a Person is at Liberty, whether he will love or no; he that does love, is guilty of _Felo de se_, and accuses a Maid wrongfully.

_Pa._ A Maid does not kill in being lov'd, but in not loving again. He is guilty of killing, that can save and don't save.

_Ma._ What if a young Man should fall into an unlawful Love, as suppose with another Man's Wife, or a Vestal Virgin? Must she love him again, to save the Lover?

_Pa._ But the young Man, meaning myself, loves one whom he ought to love, and by Right and good Reason, and yet am murthered. If Murther be a light Matter, I could indict you for Witchcraft too.

_Ma._ G.o.d forbid, do you make a _Circe_ of me?

_Pa._ You are more barbarous than _Circe_ herself, I had rather be a Hog or a Bear, than as I now am, half dead.

_Ma._ By what Sort of Enchantments do I kill Men?

_Pa._ By the Witchcraft of your Eyes.

_Ma._ Would you have me take my noxious Eyes off of you then.

_Pa._ No, by no Means, rather look more upon me.

_Ma._ If my Eyes are so infectious, how comes it about they don't throw others I look upon into a Consumption too? I therefore rather believe the Infection is in your own Eyes than mine.

_Pa._ Is it not enough for you to kill poor _Pamphilus_, but you must insult him too.

_Ma._ O pretty dead Creature! but when must I come to your Funeral?

_Pa._ Sooner than you think for, if you don't relieve me.

_Ma._ Can I perform such a wonderful Cure?

_Pa._ You can raise a dead Man to Life again with the greatest Ease imaginable.

_Ma._ Ay, if I had the Grand-Elixir.

_Pa._ You have no Need of any Medicine, do but love me again. And what's easier than that? Nay, what's more just? You can no other Way in the World get clear of the Crime of Murther.

_Ma._ In what Court must I be try'd? In the Court of Chancery?

_Pa._ No, in the Court of _Venus_.

_Ma._ They say, she is a very merciful G.o.ddess.

_Pa._ Nay, the most severe in the World.

_Ma._ Has she any Thunderbolts?

_Pa._ No.

_Ma._ Has she got a Trident?

_Pa._ No.

_Ma._ Has she got a Spear?

_Pa._ No; but she is the G.o.ddess of the Sea.