The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 71

_So._ I have so.

_Lu._ Well, but other People use to come from thence worse than they went: How comes it about, it is otherwise with you?

_So._ I'll tell you, because I did not go to _Rome_ with the same Intent, and after the same Manner that others do. Others commonly go to _Rome_, on purpose to come Home worse, and there they meet with a great many Opportunities of becoming so. I went along with an honest Man, by whose Advice, I took along with me a Book instead of a Bottle: The New Testament with _Erasmus_'s Paraphrase.

_Lu._ _Erasmus_'s? They say that he's Half a Heretick.

_So._ Has his Name reached to this Place too?

_Lu._ There's no Name more noted among us.

_So._ Did you ever see him?

_Lu._ No, I never saw him; but I should be glad to see him; I have heard so many bad Reports of him.

_So._ It may be you have heard 'em, from them that are bad themselves.

_Lu._ Nay, from Men of the Gown.

_So._ Who are they?

_Lu._ It is not convenient to name Names.

_So._ Why so?

_Lu._ Because if you should blab it out, and it should come to their Ears, I should lose a great many good Cullies.

_So._ Don't be afraid, I won't speak a Word of it.

_Lu._ I will whisper then.

_So._ You foolish Girl, what Need is there to whisper, when there is no Body but ourselves? What, lest G.o.d should hear? Ah, good G.o.d! I perceive you're a religious Wh.o.r.e, that relievest Mendicants.

_Lu._ I get more by them Beggars than by you rich Men.

_So._ They rob honest Women, to lavish it away upon naughty Strumpets.

_Lu._ But go on, as to your Book.

_So._ So I will, and that's best. In that Book, Paul, that can't lie, told me, that _neither Wh.o.r.es nor Wh.o.r.e-mongers shall obtain the Kingdom of Heaven_. When I read this, I began thus to think with myself: It is but a small Matter that I look for from my Father's Inheritance, and yet I can renounce all the Wh.o.r.es in the World, rather than be disinherited by my Father; how much more then ought I to take Care, lest my heavenly Father should disinherit me? And human Laws do afford some Relief in the Case of a Father's disinheriting or discarding a Son: But here is no Provision at all made, in case of G.o.d's disinheriting; and upon that, I immediately ty'd myself up from all Conversation with lewd Women.

_Lu._ It will be well if you can hold it.

_So._ It is a good Step towards Continence, to desire to be so. And last of all, there is one Remedy left, and that is a Wife. When I was at _Rome_, I empty'd the whole Jakes of my Sins into the Bosom of a Confessor. And he exhorted me very earnestly to Purity, both of Mind and Body, and to the reading of the holy Scripture, to frequent Prayer, and Sobriety of Life, and enjoin'd me no other Penance, but that I should upon my bended Knees before the high Altar say this Psalm, _Have Mercy upon me, O G.o.d_: And that if I had any Money, I should give one Penny to some poor Body. And I wondring that for so many whoring Tricks he enjoin'd me so small a Penance, he answer'd me very pleasantly, My Son, says he, if you truly repent and change your Life, I don't lay much Stress upon the Penance; but if thou shalt go on in it, the very l.u.s.t itself will at last punish thee very severely, although the Priest impose none upon thee. Look upon me, I am blear-ey'd, troubled with the Palsy, and go stooping: Time was I was such a one as you say you have been heretofore. And thus I repented.

_Lu._ Then as far as I perceive, I have lost my _Sophronius_.

_So._ Nay, you have rather gain'd him, for he was lost before, and was neither his own Friend nor thine: Now he loves thee in Reality, and longs for the Salvation of thy Soul.

_Lu._ What would you have me to do then, my _Sophronius_?

_So._ To leave off that Course of Life out of Hand: Thou art but a Girl yet, and that Stain that you have contracted may be wip'd off in Time.

Either marry, and I'll give you something toward a Portion, or go into some Cloyster, that takes in crakt Maids, or go into some strange Place and get into some honest Family, I'll lend you my a.s.sistance to any of these.

_Lu._ My _Sophronius_, I love thee dearly, look out for one for me, I'll follow thy Advice.

_So._ But in the mean Time get away from hence.

_Lu._ Whoo! what so suddenly!

_So._ Why not to Day rather than to Morrow, if Delays are dangerous?

_Lu._ Whither shall I go?

_So._ Get all your Things together, give 'em to me in the Evening, my Servant shall carry 'em privately to a faithful Matron: And I'll come a little after and take you out as if it were to take a little Walk; you shall live with her some Time upon my Cost till I can provide for you, and that shall be very quickly.

_Lu._ Well, my _Sophronius_, I commit myself wholly to thy Management.

_So._ In Time to come you'll be glad you have done so.

_The POETICAL FEAST._

The ARGUMENT.

_The Poetical Feast teaches the Studious how to banquet.

That Thriftiness with Jocoseness, Chearfulness without Obscenity, and learned Stories, ought to season their Feasts. Iambics are b.l.o.o.d.y. Poets are Men of no great Judgment. The three chief Properties of a good Maid Servant. Fidelity, Deformity, and a high Spirit. A Place out of the Prologue of_ Terence's Eunuchus _is ill.u.s.trated. Also_ Horace's _Epode to_ Canidia. _A Place out of_ Seneca. Aliud agere, nihil agere, male agere. _A Place out of the Elenchi of_ Aristotle _is explain'd. A Theme poetically varied, and in a different Metre.

Sentences are taken from Flowers and Trees in the Garden.

Also some Verses are compos'd in_ Greek.

HILARY, LEONARD, CRATO, GUESTS, MARGARET, CARINUS, EUBULUS, SBRULIUS, PARTHENIUS, MUS, _Hilary_'s Servant.

Hi. _Levis apparatus, animus est lautissimus._

Le. _Caenam sinistro es auspicatus omine._

Hi. _Imo absit omen triste. Sed cur hoc putas?_

Le. _Cruenti Iambi haud congruent convivio._

Hi. _I have but slender Fare, but a very liberal Mind._

Le. _You have begun the Banquet with a bad Omen._