Plays by Aleksandr Nikolaevich Ostrovsky Part 65

PODKHALYuZIN. Yes! Much you know! But what'll happen when, after you've engaged a man of standing, Samson Silych won't give any money? Afterwards the fellow'll come up and say, says he: "I'm no merchant, that you can cheat me out of the dowry!" Furthermore, like a man of standing he'll file a complaint at court, because a man of standing has his own way everywhere, ma'am; then Samson Silych and I'll be ruined, and there'll be no getting out of it for you. Here, you yourself know you can cheat anybody of our sort out of a dowry, that'll work; but just try to fool a man of standing, and you'll not get away with it afterwards.

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. That's enough trying to scare me! You've muddled my head completely.

PODKHALYuZIN. Here, take these hundred rubles in silver as earnest-money, and give us your hand on it, ma'am.

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. And you say, my jewel, two thousand rubles and a sable cloak?

PODKHALYuZIN. Exactly so, ma'am. Be at rest on that score!--And you'll put on that sable cloak, Ustinya Naumovna, and you'll go out walking--why, anybody will think you're a general's wife.

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Do you think so? Well, now, indeed! When I put on that sable cloak, I'll look my perkiest, with my hands by my sides; then your bearded friends will stare with their mouths wide open. They'll get to sighing so that you couldn't stop them with a fire engine; the women will all turn up their noses from jealousy.

PODKHALYuZIN. Just so, ma'am!

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Give me the earnest-money! Here goes!

PODKHALYuZIN. But, Ustinya Naumovna, you're doing this of your own free will; don't back out.

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Back out, what for? Just look: two thousand rubles, and a sable cloak!

PODKHALYuZIN. I tell you, we'll make it out of live sables. There's nothing more to be said.

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Well, good-by, my emerald! I'll run off now to the suitor. We'll see each other to-morrow, and then I'll report to you.

PODKHALYuZIN. Wait a minute! Where're you going! Just follow me--we'll just take a drink of vodka, ma'am. Tishka! Tishka! [_Enter_ TISHKA] You keep a lookout, and if you see the boss coming, run for me straight off.

[_They go out._

SCENE VIII

TISHKA _alone._

TISHKA. [_Sits down beside the table and takes some money out of his pocket_] Half a ruble in silver--that's what Lazar gave me to-day. And the other day, when I fell from the steeple, Agrafena Kondratyevna gave me ten kopeks; I won twenty-five kopeks at heads and tails; and day before yesterday the boss forgot and left one whole ruble on the counter. Gee, here's money for you! [_He counts to himself. The voice of FOMiNISHNA is heard behind the scene:_ "Tishka, oh, Tishka! How long have I got to call you?"] Now what's the matter there? ["Is Lazar at home?"]--He was, but he's sure gone now! ["Well, where has he sneaked to?"] How in the world should I know? He doesn't ask my leave. If he had, I'd know.

FOMiNISHNA _comes down the stairs._

FOMiNISHNA. You see Samson Silych has come, and seems to be tipsy.

TISHKA. Phew! We're goners!

FOMiNISHNA. Run for Lazar, Tishka; there's a dear; run quick!

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. [_Appearing at the head of the stairs_] What's this, Fominishna dear, where's he bound for?

FOMiNISHNA. This way, I guess, my dear! Ah, I'll close the doors, good heavens, I'll close them; let him go up-stairs, but you stay here, my dear.

_A knock at the door, and the voice of_ SAMSoN SiLYCH: "Hey! open up; who's there?" AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA _disappears_.

FOMiNISHNA. Come in, honey, come in and go to sleep; G.o.d bless you!

BOLSHoV. [_Behind the door_] What's the matter with you, you old cripple; have you lost your wits?

FOMiNISHNA. Ah, my dear boy! Ah, I'm a blind old granny. But, you see, I was fool enough, somehow, to think you'd come home tipsy. Forgive me, I've gotten deaf in my old age.

SAMSoN SiLYCH _comes in_.

SCENE IX

FOMiNISHNA _and_ BOLSHoV

BOLSHoV. Has that shyster been cooking up any deviltry here?

FOMiNISHNA. They've cooked cabbage soup with corned beef, and roast goose.

BOLSHoV. Are you gone daft, you old fool?

FOMiNISHNA. No, dear! I gave the order to the cook myself!

BOLSHoV. Get out! [_He sits down_.

FOMiNISHNA _goes to the door_; PODKHALYuZIN _and_ TISHKA _come in_.

FOMiNISHNA. [_Returning_] Ah, I'm a fool, a fool! Don't punish me for my bad memory. The cold roast sucking pig had entirely jumped out of my mind.

SCENE X

PODKHALYuZIN, BOLSHoV, _and_ TISHKA

BOLSHoV. Go to the pigs yourself! [FOMiNISHNA _goes out. To_ TISHKA] What are you gaping at? Haven't you anything to do?

PODKHALYuZIN. [_To_ TISHKA] You've been spoken to, haven't you?

TISHKA _goes out_.

BOLSHoV. Has the shyster been here?

PODKHALYuZIN. He has, sir.

BOLSHoV. Did you talk with him?