The Trouble With Tribbles Part 29

(a beat, as Kirk waits expectantly) Can you get those things out of here?

Koloth points uncomfortably at the tribbles that Cyrano is holding in his lap and stroking. Kirk gestures to a crewman. The man takes the tribbles and moves to the door-just as Darvin enters.

75 CLOSER ANGLE-AT THE DOOR 75.

as the tribbles hiss and spit at Darvin. We must love them for the enemies they make.

76 ANOTHER ANGLE 76.

Cyrano looks surprised. Kirk and Spock react. Spock's eyebrows shooting up.

SPOCK.

Remarkable.

KIRK.

Jones...I thought tribbles liked everybody.

JONES.

Why...they do, Captain. I can't understand it. Last time I saw them act like that was in the bar.

KIRK.

What was in the bar?

JONES.

Klingons, sir. Him, for one.

He points at Korax. Kirk steps over, picks up a nice big fat tribble. He moves to Korax, extends the tribble. The tribble hisses and reacts.

KIRK.

You're right, Jones...

He repeats the act with Koloth, who shrinks away... they obviously hate the tribbles...and the tribble rears back and hisses. Bones enters with a tricorder in time to hear: KIRK.

(continuing) They don't like Klingons.

He moves to Spock. The tribble purrs loudly.

KIRK.

(continuing) They do like Vulcans. I never thought you had it in you, Spock.

SPOCK.

Obviously the tribble is an extremely perceptive creature.

Kirk takes the tribble to Baris...the tribble purrs loudly.

KIRK.

He even likes you, Baris. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

He moves back to Darvin, extends the tribble. Darvin shrinks, the tribble rears back and hisses violently.

KIRK.

(continuing) But he doesn't like, you, Darvin. I wonder why. Bones...

(gestures to McCoy) Bones, curious, unbuckles his medical tri-corder. He runs a sensor over Darvin...looks at the reading, looks again...runs the sensor over Darvin again. He is puzzled. He repeats the performance.

MCCOY.

Jim...

(checking a reading) His heartbeat is all wrong...his body temperature is...Jim, this man is a Klingon!

BARIS.

Klingon!?

Kirk looks at Baris. Two crewmen move up on either side of Darvin...

KIRK.

What do you think Star.eet will have to say about this, Mr. Baris...?

(to Bones) What did you .nd out about the grain?

MCCOY.

Oh. It was poisoned.

BARIS.

Poisoned?!!

MCCOY.

It's been impregnated with a virus...the virus turns into an inert material in the bloodstream. The more the organism eats, the more inert matter is built up. After two or three days, it would reach a point where they couldn't take in enough nourishment to survive.

KIRK.

You mean they starved to death...? A whole storage compartment full of grain and they starved to death?

MCCOY.

That's essentially it.

Kirk looks at Darvin...

KIRK.

You going to talk... ?

DARVIN.

I have nothing to say.

Kirk picks up a couple of tribbles. He walks up to Darvin about to shove them in his face... The tribbles hiss.

DARVIN.

(continuing) All right I poisoned the grain. Take it away!33 KIRK.

Then the tribbles didn't have anything to do with it...?

DARVIN.

I don't know-I never saw one before in my life!! I hope I never see one of those horrible fuzzy things again!

Kirk gestures. The two crewmen drag Darvin away. Kirk catches sight of Koloth, who has been standing rather quietly, for a Klingon.

KIRK.

Captain Koloth-about that apology...

(pause) You have six hours to get your s.h.i.+p out of Federation territory!

Koloth says nothing, leaves stif.y. The tribbles hiss at him.

KIRK.

(continuing) You know, I could almost learn to like tribbles.

77 77.

& OMITTED &.

78 78.

79 ANOTHER ANGLE 79.

CYRANO.

...Ah, then Captain Kirk, I suppose that I may be free to go- KIRK.

Not yet. First I've got something to show you.

They exit, followed by Spock.

80 INT. STORE/BAR 80.

Kirk, Spock and Jones enter. Trader is sitting in the door in the middle of a pile of tribbles. There are tribbles galore. It looks like a snowfall of fur. He has been inundated. He is close to tears, because there are too many even to try sweeping them out of his store. He sits there with his head in his hand.

81 ANGLE 81.

CYRANO.

Uh...

KIRK.

Mr. Jones, do you know what the penalty is for transporting an animal that is proven harmful to human life...?

CYRANO.

But one little tribble isn't harmful...?

(Kirk stares at him) Gentlemen, you wouldn't do a thing like that to me, now would you...?

SPOCK.

The penalty is twenty years in a rehabilitation colony.

CYRANO.

...Ah now, Captain Kirk-Friend Kirk-surely we can come to some form of mutual understanding... After all, my little tribbles did put you wise to the poisoned grain-and they did help you to .nd the Klingon agent...we must have saved a lot of lives that way...

KIRK.

Perhaps, there is one thing...

CYRANO.

(eagerly) Yes?!

KIRK.

If you can remove every tribble from the s.p.a.ce station, I'll have Commander Lurry return your s.h.i.+p to you...

CYRANO.

(gasping) Remove every tribble...? That'll take years...