The Sweet Girl Graduates Part 3

_Valeria_ Decorations. Wake up!

_Maude_ (goes to desk). O yes! (rummages). This desk is disgraceful!

Here it is! (Reads crumpled paper.) "Be it resolved--" goodness, that's about poor Ned Woodruff! Jack, who was on that committee?

_Jack_ (smoothing Valeria's gloves on his knee). Miss Secretary, I do not keep the minutes.

_Maude_ Well, you were presiding! (rummaging). Here it is,--six,--is that enough? Five, rather,--Hal Taylor won't serve.

_Valeria_ (taking the list). O yes, he will.

_Maude_ Said he wouldn't! Told Mabel Hopeland so last night.

_Valeria_ (calmly). Yes, he will.

_Maude_ Well, he said he wouldn't.

_Valeria_ (pocketing the list, unmoved). He will if I ask him.

_Maude_ (shutting desk with a bang). Oh!

(Enter Miss Hoppenh.o.e.r, with shawls, salt bags, etc.)

_Miss H._ Jennie, you'd better go to bed.

_Mrs. De S._ (sadly). I will. I hope I shall not have an attack.

_Miss H._ Attack! We'll all have an attack before Friday night! (She busies herself about the couch. Valeria and Maude go out.)

_Miss H._ Now, can you walk, do you think? I'd better call Katherine, hadn't I? Katherine! Be careful of that bag--it's hot--awful hot! Lean on me--(they go out, but Miss Hoppenh.o.e.r runs back to pick up things).

_Jack_ Can't I help you! A fellow never knows what to do when--when--anybody has an attack.

(Maude returns.)

_Jack_ Come on, Maude, I've got an old tandem out there. Let's take a spin.

_Miss H._ (dropping a shawl and two bottles). Got a what?

_Jack_ Go get ready, Maude. A tandem.

(Maude goes.)

_Miss H._ (moveless with astonishment). You ride it?

_Jack_ (respectfully). Yes, ma'am.

_Miss H._ (aghast). Ride it?

_Jack_ (fascinated). Yessum. (earnestly). Yes, ma'am.

_Miss H._ Ride a tantrum! Well, such goings on! And all of it comes from graduating! Thank Heaven, I never graduated!

(Commences to pick up things. Curtain.)

ACT II.

(Sitting-room of the De Smythe home. Bouquets with cards attached.

Maude's desk, open, in confusion. Her hat and gloves on a chair. Jack, Miss Rantum and Maude, latter "practicing.")

_Miss R._ (decidedly). It is best to hold it in one hand.

_Jack_ (surprised beyond measure). Oh, are you going to read it?

_Maude_ (standing in the middle of the room). W-e-l-l, not exactly read it, you know.

_Maude_ I really know it--almost.

_Jack_ Then don't hold the paper.

_Maude_ (apprehensively). Oh, but if I should forget!

_Jack_ (confidently). You won't!

_Maude_ I might! Oh, it's very easy for you to say orate, for you can!

_Jack_ (conscious of ability). Yes, but you could, too.

_Miss R._ What is the subject of your oration, Mr. Hamilton?

_Jack_ (modestly). "Universality in Statecraft."

_Maude_ And it's a dandy! You ought to hear him when he comes to, "For of all the nations, builded of power and sealed with blood--" (in tremendous tones).

_Jack_ Oh, now, Maude, I say, let up.

_Maude_ Well, honest, you are fine. No I should die if I forgot,--just simply die.

_Miss R._ It is wiser for her to hold her ma.n.u.script, I think. This is an essay, not an oration.

_Maude_ (sitting down and getting up, a la Delsarte). Of course, Jack, don't you see? It is an essay, not an oration. Now, did I get up right?

_Miss R._ Try it again.

_Maude_ (repeats the operation and advances very stiffly). Is that it?