Passions - Healing Passion Part 4

She sighed. "Nay. He had enemies, of a certainty, but were he to decide to hide out anywhere, 'twould be right here, in this keep, where he grew up, and where he knew he owned all in sight. That was greatly important to him. So, as he is not here now, I do not believe it likely he ever will return." Her fingers threaded together into a tight knot and her breath caught on a sob with the last word.

"Therefore you do not dishonor your marriage vows if you find you feel some desire for myself."She gave him a wry and still slightly teary grin. "You a.s.sume much, my lord, that you should think I feel something for you."

"I do not a.s.sume, Juliana. I look in your face, in your eyes, and I see the pa.s.sion that lurks, that rouses when you look at me. I do not think Lord Groswick ever roused that pa.s.sion in you."

She sucked in a sharp breath. Dismay flashed across her face then was forcibly

repressed. "Nay, my lord," she said, softly, almost a whisper. "He did not."He leaned forward, running a gentle finger across her soft, full lips, watching the way her expression changed, her eyes darkening, her mouth parting. "There is something building between us. Your have no husband now, lady. You're free to explore what comes to us." Of course, he still had to prove that, but he would. He would.She closed her eyes, almost wincing in what appeared to be pain. "Nay, my lord. I'm not free. I cannot be. There is more...there are things you do not know. Cannot know. I'll never be free. Not for you. Nor for any man.""You still grieve?""Nay. Or rather, aye. I grieve. I grieve for many things.""'Tis too early to look to the future for you?" He was startled by the realization, but it wasn't too early for him. In just a day or so, this lovely lady had come to represent all he wanted in life. She was warmth and love and home.She leaned back. For a moment her eyes lost focus as though she stared into that future. Her expression went bleak. When she looked at him again, a yearning so deep and so intense it tugged at his heart flared in her eyes. It didn't last. She turned to stare out the window. "There are yet too many things that remain to be settled before I can look to the future, my lord."

"Then will you, at least, take some comfort in the present?" Instead of giving her time to answer, he dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers. She tasted sweet, flower sweet, honey sweet, like a perfectly ripe fruit. At first she remained unmoving, perhaps startled by the forwardness of his act. But after a minute she relaxed and her mouth softened.

He moved closer to her and drew her to her feet without releasing her mouth. His arms circled around her, pulling her body against him, chest to chest. She fit perfectly in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. Heat poured through him. His c.o.c.k rose to attention.

Though he knew her a strong and competent young woman, and admired her for it, she seemed remarkably small, delicate, almost fragile in his arms. The warmth of her body lit fires in his, while the feel of her skin turned his desire for her into a raging need. He'd known other women, had bedded a few, admired his friends' wives, but he'd never wanted anyone with this possessive ferocity. It surprised him to feel that way about a woman he'd known such a short time. But something in his soul seemed to recognize it had met its mate in her. In deep, important ways, Juliana resembled those other women he'd admired and even, though he rebuked himself for it, coveted.

He let his lips trail along the line of the scar on her temple. She'd never acquire any further scars if he could do anything to stop it. He caught the thought and followed where it led. It was too soon, and perhaps he went too far too quickly, but Juliana would some day be his. He hoped the day might not be far off, though there was still the complication of her missing and surely dead husband to be unraveled. But it would be, and then he would offer for her. The king had promised a substantial reward for fulfilling his mission, enough to keep them. His majesty would surely approve Thomas's request for the lady's hand.

The small sounds she made as he kissed and teased her sank into his soul like music. He

could scarce bear to wait for the time he'd hear those little moans and more.His hands rubbed her back and sides, stroking her graceful curves, feeling the line of her hip, waist, and up to her chest. He pushed her cap off and undid the braids that held her hair up, letting it fall in a glorious, silken ma.s.s over her shoulders and down her back.

She relaxed into his embrace, holding onto him and squeezing herself toward him. He splayed his hands on her sides, so that his fingers were just touching the undersides of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her sharp breath hit him right in the chest like an arrow to the heart.

A sound outside the door, just down the hall, reminded them they were not alone or particularly private. Juliana jumped back, her breath harsh and panting. A servant went on past the entrance, intent on his own errand. She dropped back into her chair and began to rebraid her hair, though she continued to watch him.

Thomas touched her face, traced the line of the scar on her temple with a finger. "How did this happen?"For a moment she remained quiet. "An accident with a piece of broken pottery a few years ago."

"You were fortunate it came no closer to your eye."She sighed and nodded. "Very fortunate.""Juliana-"The lady looked up at him, eyes wide and still soft with pa.s.sion and..."Sir Thomas."

Her smile was gentle and sweet. "I am comforted. And for that I do thank you a great deal."He felt a somewhat more wry grin twist his own mouth. "You'll arrange for the bath tonight."

After a moment, she nodded and gave him a smile. Then she turned to get back in her chair. But as he was leaving she stopped him. "Sir Thomas? Might I ask a favor of you?"

"Whatever you will, my lady."For a moment her eyes widened and her gaze lost focus, but then she shook herself out of it. "I worry about our defenses here. We have no knights and few skilled men at arms. Would you review our guards and their deployment and tell me what we might do to improve? We have a few more young men eager to learn, but no one well qualified to train them. Samuel of Merimon is our captain and I believe him competent enough, but he has little imagination or patience.

Thomas nodded. "I'll do so. I have a few more of your household I'd like to question today. If you'll let your captain know about it, tomorrow I'll review your defenses with him."

Her smile held both relief and grat.i.tude. He felt it more than adequate payment for

whatever effort he put forth on her behalf.

Thomas found the bailiff, William Randolph, conferring with the steward. Randolph pointedly ignored him, continuing his conversation, despite the demands of rank and courtesy that would obligate him to acknowledge Sir Thomas at the very least.

When Thomas said, "Master Randolph, if I might have a word with you," the man gave him a concentrated glare that warned the interview would likely be less than pleasant."You want to ask me about Lord Groswick, my lord? I've heard you've been questioning others in the household." Randolph's tone told Thomas exactly how he felt about the activity.

Hoping to keep the unpleasantness to a minimum, Thomas reminded him, "I've been commissioned by the king himself to make inquiries. I regret that it causes disruption and perhaps some grief to the household here, but the king would know-if it's possible to learn-what became of Lord Groswick." He kept his irritation under control and his tone even.

Randolph gave him a jerky nod and said, "This way, my lord." He led the way to a small, quiet room a couple of doors down from the storeroom. "We can be private in here."

There were no chairs in the room, just one rough table, a few shelves bearing what looked like kitchen utensils, and rolls of fabric leaning against the wall. The window looked out onto the side of the bailey, toward the smith's shop he'd visited earlier. It also had a narrow ledge beneath it, which Thomas perched on.

"How long have you been bailiff here?" he asked Randolph.

The man looked surprised. Clearly that wasn't the question he'd expected. "Some ten years now. Since Milton Ashwood died.""So you worked with Lord Groswick extensively.""Aye."Thomas waited a moment, but Randolph wasn't volunteering anything. "And you were here when he left.""Aye.""How long ago was that? Do you remember the exact day?"The man drew a deep breath and shrugged. "Not the day itself. 'Twas in November, though early in the month. He wanted to set out before the weather turned.""He was leaving it rather late at that, was he not?"

"He would wait until the harvest was done."

"Ah. He needed to be well-provisioned for the trip. How many men accompanied him? And were they keep men?""My memory is not entirely reliable, my lord, but as best I can remember, he went off with about three dozen men. Most were mercenaries, old friends, or those who owed debts he called on to support him. Only a very few belonged to the keep.""Have you a list of their names?"The man's hands clenched tight. "So far as I know, there is no list, my lord."

"Can you remember who they might be?""I can give you a few names." He rattled off a list that was just as unspecific as the one the cook had given him.

Thomas did note a few whose families he recognized and committed those to memory

to inquire about later."Tell me about Lord Groswick," Thomas asked. "What manner of man was he? Was he an easy man to work with?"

Randolph's eyes narrowed and his lips pinched together for a moment. "He was no easy man, Lord Groswick."Again Thomas waited, but Randolph declined to elaborate. "In what way?" he prompted.

Randolph looked around as though searching for a way to escape the room. "His temper was uncertain at the best of times. His manner...he was the lord. That was all. He felt no need to be kind or merciful, or even just. He regarded not the feelings or rights of others, including his household and those closest to him. When things were not to his liking, he would often react...quite violently."

"Violently? How so?"

The man's breathing had quickened. "He... He could be quite loud in his reproaches. And he injured a few people who did not please him.""Injured. He struck them?""Aye, my lord.""Then people here feared him?""Aye, my lord. That they did. Many would duck and hide when they saw him approach.""Then I should suppose many were relieved when he left."The man hesitated. "Aye, that they were.""And all are happier with Lady Juliana running the keep?""Indeed. The lady is quite adept at it. She's much better at organizing affairs and keeping them running smoothly than my Lord Groswick was. And she has a way with people as well."

"What will happen when Lord Groswick returns?" Thomas asked him.The man froze as he turned to look at something outside. His face paled and his eyes widened. He took two deep harsh breaths before he responded. "Do you think it likely he'll return, my lord? You said he never met the Prince and no one has heard from him."

"I think all here are hoping he will not. But you know the king will grant the lords.h.i.+p to someone else of his choosing once he's convinced Lord Groswick is dead.""Aye, I know. Is that all, my lord?"

"Nay, are you this insolent when dealing with Lady Juliana?"The man turned whiter, then a tide of red crept up under his skin. "Nay, my lord. I beg your pardon. I meant no offense. 'Tis just that I worry for Lady Juliana. I fear your inquiries can only cause her pain and make her situation worse. Please, my lord, if you have any compa.s.sion for her, leave here now and ask no more questions."

"And what would you suggest I tell the king?""Tell him Lord Groswick has disappeared and you have no idea where he has gone.""Right now, that is, in fact, all I know to be true," Sir Thomas admitted.

Chapter Six.

Juliana seemed more apprehensive than usual at dinner that evening. The smile she gave to those around her as she made her way to the table on the dais looked forced and faded too quickly. Her hand even shook a bit when she picked up her cup.

"My lady, are you nervous?" he asked.She turned a surprised look on him. "Why do you think that, my lord?"He nodded to the drops of red wine splashed on the white table cloth. "Your hand is less than steady."

She sighed and set the cup back down. A small drop of red wine clung to a corner of her mouth. He wanted to kiss it off, but contented himself with wiping his finger across it,

collecting the moisture. As she watched, eyes wide and yearning, he brought the finger to his mouth and licked the droplet of wine off it."I suppose I'm not quite... Aye, I'm somewhat tense.""Is it the bath I promised you?" He spoke low so that only she could hear his words. He loved the way the rose pink blush colored her cheeks. "Juliana, if you truly don't wish it, I'll not force it on you. I'll never force anything on you you don't want. And if we go ahead, and I do anything you don't like, you've but to say the word and I'll stop. Do you trust me that far?"

She looked up at him and nodded. Her hesitance suggested the decision to trust was not an easy one for her. What had Lord Groswick done to her to make her this way? Still, his heart expanded at that sign of confidence in him.

Dinner took too long. Far too long. Though he enjoyed the food, the wine, and the

conversation, he wanted it over long before it was.

And then afterward, he had to wait for her to arrive. The tub was set up and servants hauled buckets of water to fill it as he got back to his quarters after the meal. He sent Ralf and Bertram off again. Ralf had the cheek to give him a crooked grin and a wink as he left, and ducked a feigned blow.

"Have a good evening, my lord," Ralf wished him as he left. "Do not swim too deep." It was a tease, but there was also a hint of warning there. Thomas didn't make the mistake of disregarding it completely.

"I'll swim no deeper than I may. I have no plans to drown here."The boy nodded and left.Juliana entered a few minutes later, unescorted. She looked around with guilty hesitance."We're private here," he said. "My men will not interrupt. Would you have me bar the door so none may enter, or would you feel more secure were I to leave it unbarred that

you may run away from me more quickly?"Her smile was small and nervous still. "Have many ladies felt the need to flee your presence, Sir Thomas?"

"Only a few. My sister once, when I pulled her hair and tormented her until she kicked me and then fled in fear of my wrath. A wh... A woman of ill repute who thought to rob me when I caught her in the act of going through my purse. By and large, though, the few ladies I've allowed in my quarters have felt no need for a fast exit."

"I believe I'll trust to your word earlier." She licked her lips and swallowed hard. "Sir Thomas-"He was at her side as fast as he could move and put a finger over her lips. "Nay. No objections. We both believe you have no husband, lady. If he be not dead, and I do believe it is so, he's most certainly dishonored your vows by remaining away so long. I cannot believe you'll ever see him again. You've been too long now carrying the burden of this place on yourself with none to comfort you."

"Save my mother.""Save your mother. But while mothers can offer a great deal of comfort, there is a kind that can only flow between a man and a woman.""But I've no right to-""Say no more," he ordered. "I will not take from you that which only your husband may by right have. But tonight I take all burdens on myself. For tonight you are completely in my hands and in my power. You'll forget all else and do only as I command, save that if there is anything you truly don't wish or can't abide, you have but to tell me and I'll stop. What say you, lady? Will you give all responsibility into my keeping for this night?"

She frowned. "I do not understand."He put his hands on her shoulders. "You lay responsibility for all that happens tonight on me, by agreeing now that you will do whatever I order you to do, save that it truly offends you. You put yourself completely in my control. I give my word I'll not have a husband's way with you, but will only do what will comfort and please you. We'll call it your penance that your hospitality was initially so cold when I arrived. You kept me waiting out in the rain far longer than you should have. In recompense, for this night, you will serve me exactly as I demand."A slow, almost shy, smile spread over her face as she understood what he wanted. "Ah, I see, my lord. Our hospitality was lacking that day, and I suppose I do owe you some penance for that. If this is how you would have it, then I offer it to you." Her expression turned suddenly arch. "But, my lord, should I fail to obey a command?"

"I'll have to punish you, of course. A loving punishment."Her eyes widened and a sparkle burst to life in them. She opened her mouth, but couldn't quite bring herself to ask the next question. It didn't matter. She'd already accepted the invitation and was intrigued by the game, though that didn't drive away all her apprehension."We're wasting the hot water," he said. "I'll play your maid and help you disrobe."He only fumbled a bit with the laces and tapes of her garments, and that more because the sight of her gradually revealed, lovely body made him shake with need and desire for her rather than any innate clumsiness. Though Juliana was quiet while he undid and removed her overgown, her harsh breathing and the fine trembling of her body revealed her nervous excitement. When he loosened the tape at the back of her s.h.i.+ft, she sucked in a sharp breath and said, "Sir Thomas-"

"Nay, lady," he cut her off. "Do you forget already you've given yourself to my use in penance?" She didn't resist when he pushed the loose s.h.i.+ft off her shoulders and guided it down her arms until it fell to the floor by its own weight. Without thinking, she crossed her arms over her front, attempting to hide her lovely b.r.e.a.s.t.s and the secrets hidden at the cleft of her legs.

He didn't object. The struggle to control the raging desire of his engorged c.o.c.k took much of his effort. She was so beautiful, so gloriously, gracefully curved, yet sleek and tight. He wanted to touch her so much that sweat beaded on his temple as he fought the urge.

"Into the tub with you," he said. His voice didn't sound quite steady.She drew a deep, long breath and walked to the tub. He helped her in and turned away for a moment to find the remnants of his self-control. Once he thought he could keep himself in line, he found a washcloth and soap, and sat on the stool next to the tub, just as she had done the previous evening.He wasn't at all surprised to see she'd slid down the side far enough to submerge all but the top third of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Even so he fought to drag his gaze from the most exquisite and delectable span of flesh he'd ever seen. He couldn't imagine any man going off and leaving her. When she was his, it would take a team of a dozen horses or more to drag him away from her side.

Thomas began to rub the soapy washcloth over her shoulders and down her arms. If she got any more tense, she'd break. Her muscles were as tight and hard as rocks. Remembering how good it had felt when she'd rubbed the soap into his hair yesterday, he set down the washcloth and moved the stool around behind her.

"Duck your head," he asked. "We'll start with your hair."She did as he ordered with no objection. Rubbing the soap into her long hair did slowly relax her and had the advantage of soothing his raging need somewhat as well. He liked the feel of burying his fingers in her hair, smoothing soap all along the length of the gently curling strands, and ma.s.saging her scalp, far more than he expected. That Juliana calmed down under the care was a pleasant bonus. His heart swelled with the knowledge he could help her.She grew so quiet and relaxed he had to ask, "Are you asleep, my lady?""Nay." Her voice was lower and husky, but not, he thought, with sleep. "It does feel wondrously pleasant however.""Good. That was my purpose. But the water begins to cool. Rinse the soap from your hair." She did so. It gave him another thrill to have her obeying his orders and trusting to his care."Now lean forward. You'll like this as well." He rubbed more soap on a cloth and began to scrub her back. She sucked in a breath, then let it out on a long, gusty sigh. Her shoulders flexed and twitched as he ran the cloth up and down her spine, going down to just above her waist.

"That does feel marvelous also, my lord."

He continued to rub a few minutes longer, until a s.h.i.+ver warned him the water was cooling fast."Out now, lady," he said, tossing aside the cloth and finding the larger towel. She looked up at him with wide eyes."Stand," he said, making the word hard enough to be an order.She nodded, sighed again, and pushed herself upright."You need not be ashamed of your body," he told her. "It's a wondrous and beautiful body.""Save for the scars.""Enn.o.bled by the scars. I have a few myself. They tell the world you have lived and experienced both the joy and the pain." He ran a gentle finger over the scar on her temple. "Only I think you've had little of the joy and much of the pain.""I've known joy, my lord.""Every day?" he asked. "With Lord Groswick?"She bit her lip before she shook her head. "Nay.""Did you ever know any pleasure at all at his hands?"

"Nay."Thomas couldn't decide whether to be furious with Groswick for treating his wife so coldly or grateful that it had been left to him to show her about the pleasures her body could afford her. "Then I have much to teach you." He helped her out of the tub and into her robe, then wrapped the towel around her wet hair. After he toweled her hair until it was half-dry, he laid her back on his bed.

She stared up at him, her green eyes wide. "Does it please you to teach me, my lord?""It does.""'Tis a strange sort of penance," she admitted, "but I will not refuse it.""Well that you don't."Her smile was sweet and just a bit calculating. "I do not promise to be so accommodating all the time.""And I would not expect it. It would be far too dull in any case. But for now-" He leaned over and loosed the tie that held the robe together in front, then pushed the sides apart.She gasped and tried to cover her b.r.e.a.s.t.s with her hands."Nay, lady." He gently lifted her hands and moved them away. "You're beautiful.

You've no need to hide from me. And as you're under my command, you may not refuse or resist." Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s weren't large, but their shape was graceful and the rosy pink tips puckered delightfully. Such loveliness demanded a man's devotion; Thomas paid them reverence.

His c.o.c.k throbbed at the sight. Unable to resist, he put out a hand and touched the tip of her left breast with just the end of his finger. She jerked in surprise, but also let out a

gasp of pleasure. He ran his hands down her throat and chest, brus.h.i.+ng over the breast, then repeated it on the other side. Her expression changed from surprise to delighted wonder.

He continued touching her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, sometimes stroking up and down, sometimes circling the nipples with his fingers. Her fine skin was soft as goose down. The plush mounds made perfect handfuls when he cupped them in his palms.

Juliana's breath caught several times as he toyed with her nipples, and her face tightened at the pleasurable tension his touches roused. She sighed, "My lord," when he squeezed the tip carefully, not too hard. He played with her for a while, drinking in her sighs and gasps, until his back protested about his leaning over at an awkward angle for too long.

He straightened up and said, "Roll over."She gave him a wicked grin and shook her head in refusal.So she wanted to play the game? He couldn't let her see how much that gratified him.

"My lady," he said instead. "One last chance. Roll over. If I have to roll you over myself, your bottom will pay the price of your disobedience."

A flash of panic shot across her face, but when she glanced at him, whatever she saw seemed to rea.s.sure her. She just shook her head again and tried to look both stubborn and solemn.