Real Life In London Part 84

By this time Bob had an opportunity of discovering that the person he had thus unfortunately encountered, was no other than a stout raw-boned coalheaver, and that the noise he had heard was occasioned by his sticking his pointed coal-shovel in the earth, with intention to help him up after his fall. Pursuing their way, and presently turning to the right, Bob was suddenly delighted by being brought from utter darkness into marvellous light, presenting a view of the river, with boats and barges pa.s.sing and repa.s.sing with their usual activity.

"What place is this?" inquired Tallyho.

~207~~~ "Before you," replied his Cousin, "is the River Thames; and in the front you will find wharfs and warehouses for the landing and housing of various merchandize, such as coals, fruit, timber, &c.: we are now under the Adelphi Terrace, where many elegant and fas.h.i.+onable houses are occupied by persons of some rank in society; these streets, lanes, and subterraneous pa.s.sages, have been constructed for the convenience of conveying the various articles landed here into the main streets of the metropolis, and form as it were a little world under ground."

"And no bad world neither," replied the coalheaver, who upon inspection proved to be no other than Bob Martlet, whom they had met with as one of the _heavy wet_ party at Charley's Crib--"For there is many a family lives down here, and gets a good bit of bread too; what does it signify where a man gets his bread, if he has but an honest appet.i.te to eat it with: aye, and though I say it, that house in the corner there, just down by the water's edge, can supply good stuff at all times to wash it down with, and that you know's the time of day, my master: this warm weather makes one _dryish_ like, don't it?"

Tom thought the hint dry enough, though Bob was declaring he was almost wet through; however, they took their road to the Fox under the Hill, as it is termed. On entering which a good fire presented itself, and Tallyho placed himself in front of it, in order to dry his clothes, while Bob Martlet was busy in inquiring of the landlord for a brush to give the gemman a wipe down, as, he observed, he had a sort of a trip up in these wild parts--though to be sure that there was no great wonder, for a gentleman who was near sighted, and didn't wear spectacles; "however," continued he, "there an't no harm done; and so the gemman and I are going to drink together--arn't we, Sir?"

Tallyho, who by this time had got well roasted by the fire-side, nodded his a.s.sent, and Dashall inquired what he would like.

~~208~~~ "Why, my master, as for that, it's not much matter to me; a drap of sky blue in a boulter of barley,{1} with a dollop of sweet,{2} and a little saw dust,{3} is no bad thing according to my thinking; but Lord bless you! if so be as how a gemman like you offers to treat Bill Martlet,

1 A boulter of barley--a drink--or a pot of porter.

2 A dollop of sweet--sugar.

3 Saw-dust--a cant term for ginger or nutmeg grated.

why Bill Martlet never looks a gift horse in the mouth, you know, as the old saying is; but our landlord knows how to make such rum stuff, as I should like you to taste it--we call it hot, don't us, landlord?--Come, lend us hold of the brush?" "Ave, and brush up, Mr. Landlord," said the Hon. Tom Dashall; "let us have a taste of this nectar he's talking of, for we have not much time to stop."

"Lord bless your eye sight," replied Martlet, "there an't no occasion whatsomdever for your honours to stay--if you'll only give the order, and push about the possibles, the business is all done. Come, shovel up the sensible," continued he to the landlord, "mind you give us the real double XX. I don't think your coat is any the worse, it would sarve me for a Sunday swell toggery for a twelve-month to come yet; for our dirt down here is as I may say clean dirt, and d------me if I don't think it looks all the better for it."

"Thank you, my friend," said Bob; "that will do very well," and the landlord having by this time completed his cookery, produced the good stuff, as Martlet termed it.

"Come, gentlemen, this is the real right sort, nothing but the bang-up article, arn't it, my master? But as I always likes the landlord to taste it first, by way of setting a good example, just be after telling us what you think of it."

"With all my heart," said the landlord; who declared it was as prime a pot of hot as he had made for the last fortnight. .

With this recommendation our friends tried it; and after tipping, took their departure, under the positive a.s.surance of Martlet, that he should be very glad to see them again at any time.

They now pursued their way through other subterraneous pa.s.sages, where they met waggons, carts, and horses, apparently as actively and usefully employed as those above ground.

"Come," said Tom, "we have suffered time to steal a inarch upon us," as they reached the Strand; "we will therefore take the first" _rattler_ we can meet with, and make the best of our way for the City."--This was soon accomplished, and jumping into the coach, the old _Jarvey_ was desired to drive them as expeditiously as possible to the corner of King-street, Cheapside.~~209~~~

CHAPTER XVI

"How wretched those who tasteless live, And say this world no joys can give: Why tempts yon turtle sprawling, Why smoaks the glorious haunch, Are these not joys still calling To bless our mortal paunch?

O 'tis merry in the Hall When beards wag all, What a noise and what a din; How they glitter round the chin; Give me fowl and give me fish, Now for some of that nice dish; Cut me this, Sir, cut me that, Send me crust, and send me fat.

Some for t.i.t bits pulling hauling,

Legs, wings, breast, head,--some for liquor, scolding, bawling, Hock, port, white, red, here 'tis cramming, cutting, slas.h.i.+ng, There the grease and gravy splas.h.i.+ng, Look, Sir, look, Sir, what you've done, Zounds, you've cut off the Alderman's thumb."

The Hon. Tom Dashall, who was fully aware that City appointments for twelve o'clock mean one, was nevertheless anxious to arrive at their place of destination some time before the commencement of the business of the day; and fortunately meeting with no obstruction on the road, they were set down at the corner of King-street, about half-past twelve.

"Come," said he, "we shall now have time to look about us at leisure, and observe the beauties of this place of civic festivity. The Hall you see in front of you, is the place devoted to the entertainment usually given by the Lord Mayor on his entrance upon the duties and dignities of his office. It is a fine gothic building, in which the various courts of the city are held. The citizens also meet there for the purpose of choosing their representatives in Parliament, the Lord Mayor, Sheriffs, &c. It was originally built in the year 1411, previous to which period the public, or as they term it the Common Hall, was held at a small room in Aldermanbury.

~~210~~~ The expense Of the building was defrayed by voluntary subscription, and its erection occupied twenty years. It was seriously damaged by the fire of 1666, since which the present edifice, with the exception of the new gothic front, has been erected. That, however, was not finished till the year 1789, and many internal improvements and decorations have been introduced since. There is not much of attraction in its outward appearance. That new building on the right has recently been erected for the accommodation of Meetings of Bankrupts; and on the left is the Justice-Room, where the Aldermen attend daily in rotation as magistrates to decide petty causes; but we must not exhaust our time now upon them."

On entering the Hall, Tallyho appeared to be highly pleased with its extent, and was presently attracted by the monuments which it contains.

"It is a n.o.ble room," said he.--"Yes," replied Tom, "this Hall is 153 feet in length, 48 in breadth, and the height to the roof is 55."

Tallyho was, however, more engaged in examining the monument erected to the memory of Lord Nelson, and an occasional glance at the two enormous figures who stand at opposites, on the left of the entrance.--Having read the tablet, and admired the workmans.h.i.+p of the former, he hastily turned to the latter. "And who in the name of wonder are these?" he inquired.

"These," replied his communicative Cousin, "are called _Gog_ and _Magog_. They are two ancient giants carved in wood, one holding a long staff suspending a ball stuck with pikes, and the other a halbert, supposed to be of great antiquity, and to represent an ancient Briton and a Saxon. They formerly used to stand on each side of that staircase which leads to the Chamberlain's Office, the Courts of King's Bench and Common Pleas, the Court of Aldermen, and the Common Council Chamber. At the other end are two fine monuments, to the memory of Lord Chatham, the father of Mr. Pitt, and his Son. The windows are fine specimens of the revived art of painting on gla.s.s. There is also a monument of Mr.

Beckford."

While they were taking a view of these several objects of curiosity, their attention was suddenly attracted by a confused noise and bustle at the door, which announced the arrival of the Lord Mayor and his attendants, who pa.s.sed them in state, and were followed by our friends to the Council Chamber; on entering which, they were ~~211~~~ directed by the City Marshall, who guarded the door, to keep below the bar.

Tallyho gazed with admiration and delight on the numerous pictures with which the Chamber is decorated, as well as the ceiling, which forms, a dome, with a skylight in the centre. The Lord Mayor having first entered the Court of Aldermen, the business of the day had not yet commenced.

Tom directed his Cousin's eye in the first instance to the very large and celebrated painting by Copley, which fronts the Lord Mayor's chair, and represents the destruction of the floating batteries before Gibraltar, to commemorate the gallant defence of that place by General Elliott, afterwards Lord Heath field, in 1782. The statue of the late King George the Third; the death of David Rizzio, by Opie; the miseries of Civil War, from Shakespeare; Domestic Happiness, exemplified in portraits of an Alderman and his family; the death of Wat Tyler; the representation of the Procession of the Lord Mayor to Westminster Hall, by water; and the ceremony of swearing in the Lord Mayor at Guildhall, in 1781; containing portraits of all the princ.i.p.al members of the Corporation of London at that time. Meanwhile the benches were filling with the Deputies and Common Councilmen from their several wards. At one o'clock, the Lord Mayor entered the Court, attended by several Aldermen, who took their seats around him, and the business of the day commenced.

Among those on the upper seats, Tom gave his Cousin to understand which were the most popular of the Aldermen, and named in succession Messrs.

Waithman, Wood, Sir Claudius Stephen Hunter, Birch, Flower, and Curtis; and as their object was not so much to hear the debates as to see the form and know the characters, he proposed an adjournment from their present rather uncomfortable situation, where they were obliged to stand wedged in, by the crowd continually increasing, during which they could take a few more observations, and he could give some little clue to the origin and present situations of the persons to whom he had directed his Cousin's attention. Making the best of their way out of the Court, they found themselves in an anti-room, surrounded by marshalmen, beadles of Wards waiting for their Aldermen, and the Lord Mayor's and Sheriffs'

footmen, finding almost as much difficulty to proceed, as they had before encountered.

~~212~~~ Having struggled through this formidable phalanx of judicial and state appendages,

"Now," said Dashall, "we shall be enabled to breathe again at liberty, and make our observations without fear; for where we have just quitted, there is scarcely any possibility of making a remark without having it snapped up by newspaper reporters, and retailers of anecdotes; here, however, we can indulge _ad libitum_."

"Yes," replied Tallyho, "and having seen thus far, I am a little inquisitive to know more. I have, it is true, at times seen the names of the parties you pointed out to me in the daily prints, but a sight of their persons in their official stations excites stronger curiosity."

"Then," said Tom, "according to promise I will give you a sort of brief sketch of some of them. The present Lord Mayor is a very eminent wholesale stationer, carrying on an extensive trade in Queen-street; he ought to have filled the chair before this, but some temporary circ.u.mstances relative to his mercantile concerns induced him to give up his rotation. He has since removed the obstacle, and has been elected by his fellow-citizens to the high and important office of Chief Magistrate. I believe he has not signalized himself by any remarkable circ.u.mstance, but he has the character of being a worthy man. Perhaps there are few in the Court of Aldermen who have obtained more deservedly the esteem of the Livery of London, than Alderman Waithman, whose exertions have long been directed to the correction of abuses, and who represented them as one of their members during the last Parliament, when he displaced the mighty Alderman Curtis. Waithman is of humble origin, and has, like many others of Civic notoriety, worked his way by perseverance and integrity as a linen-draper, to respectable independence, and the hearts of his fellow-citizens: he has served the office of Sheriff, and during that time acted with a becoming spirit at the death of the late Queen, by risking his own life to save others. His political sentiments are on the opposition side, consequently he is no favorite with ministers."

"And if he were," replied Tallyho, "that would scarcely be considered an honour."

"True," continued Tom, "but then it might lead to profit, as it has done with many others, though he appears to hold such very light.

~~213~~~ "Alderman Wood has not yet been so fortunate as the celebrated Whittington, whom you may recollect was thrice Lord Mayor of London; but he has had the honour to serve that office during two succeeding years: he is a member of Parliament, and his exertions in behalf of the late Queen, if they have done him no great deal of good among the higher powers, are at least honourable to his heart.

"Of Sir Claudius Stephen Hunter there is but little to be said, except that he has served the office, and been a Colonel of the City Militia--led off the ball at a Jew's wedding--used to ride a white charger--and is so pa.s.sionately fond of military parade, that had he continued another year in the office, the age of chivalry would certainly have been revived in the East, and knights-errant and esquires have completely superseded merchants, traders, and shopkeepers.

"Alderman Birch is an excellent pastry-cook, and that perhaps is the best thing that can be said of him: he has written some dramatic pieces; but the pastry is beyond all comparison best of the two, and he needs no other pa.s.sport to fame, at least with his fellow-citizens.

"But last, though not least, under our present consideration, comes the renowned Sir William, a plain bluff John Bull; he is said to be the son of a presbyterian citizen, and was rigidly educated in his father's religion. He obtained the alderman's gown, and represented the City in the year 1790: he is a good natured, and, I believe, a good hearted man enough, though he has long been a subject for satirical wit. He was Lord Mayor in 1796: you may recollect what was related of him by the literary labourer we met with in the Park--anecdotes and caricatures have been published in abundance upon him: he may, however, be considered in various points of view--as an alderman and a biscuit baker--as a fisherman "--

"How!" cried Tallyho!

"Why, as a fisherman, he is the Polyphemus of his time.

"His rod was made out of the strongest oak, His line a cable which no storm e'er broke, His hook was baited with a dragon's tail, He sat upon a rock and bobb'd for a whale."

"Besides which," continued Dashall, "he is a great sailor; has a yacht of his own, and generally accompanies

~~214~~~ Royalty on aquatic excursions. I remember a laughable caricature, exhibiting the alderman in his own vessel, with a turtle suspended on a pole, with the following lines, in imitation of Black-eyed Susan, said to be written by Mr. Jekyll:--

"All in the Downs the fleet lay moor'd, The streamers waving in the wind, When Castlereagh appeared on board, 'Ah where shall I my Curtis find.

Tell me ye jovial sailors, tell me true, Does my fat William sail among your crew.'"