The Wooing of Calvin Parks Part 20

"Why, I took dinner with 'em," said Calvin, indulgently. "I told you I was goin' to, you know. Gorry! you wouldn't have wanted me here to dinner if you'd seen the way I ate. How was your chicken, old lady? He looked like a good one. I picked out the best nourished one I could find."

"I wish't those folks was dead, and you too, and me, and everybody!"

broke out Miss Phrony suddenly.

"Sho!" said Calvin Parks. "The whole set out, eh? Now I am surprised at you. Just think what all them funerals would come to; why, we should have to call on the town, certin we should. Come now, Miss Phrony, cheer up! I'll go and get my own supper, if you'll tell me what _to_ get."

"The Lord will provide!" piped up the old woman shrilly.

"I don't doubt it," said Calvin Parks. "I'll kind o' look round, though; I don't want to give no trouble."

"If you'll set down, Cap'n Parks," said Miss Phrony majestically, "I'll get your supper."

Once more wiping her eyes, she sailed out of the room. Calvin looked after her meditatively. "I didn't think of her scarin' up a tantrum," he said, "or mebbe I'd have hastened more. I dono, though. Christmas Day, appears as though a man had a right to his time, don't it? Not that I ain't sorry to have disc.u.mbobberated her, for I am. I'd like to see everybody well content to-night, same as I be."

"She says you're breakin' her heart!" said the old woman, her black eyes fixed on him.

"Sho! now what a way that is to talk! Why, s'pose I hadn't come home at all; s'pose I'd stopped to supper, as they asked me to; you'd have saved victuals then, don't you see? I wish't I had now!" he added reflectively. "I never thought of her cookin' anything special."

"Supper's ready!" sighed Miss Phrony from the doorway.

In the kitchen a cloth, not too clean, was laid, and on it, with much parade of knife and fork, appeared a very dry knuckle of ham, a plate of yellow soda biscuit, and a pallid and flabby pie. Spite of himself, Calvin's cheery face fell as he looked on this banquet; but he sat down, and attacked the ham-bone manfully.

"How are ye, old feller?" he said. "I certinly thought I'd seen the last of you, but you come of a long-lived stock, that's plain. Could I have a drop of tea, Miss Phrony? Seems' though something hot would help this spread on its downward way. Fire out? Well, never mind! I'll get along."

"I had the spasms come on so bad," said Miss Phrony, "along about eight o'clock, when I give you up, my stren'th went from me, and I couldn't heave the wood to keep the fire up. I had coffee for you, but it's cold.

Would you like some?"

"I guess not!" said Calvin, recalling the coffee at breakfast. "I'll do first-rate. Well! did you try on your tippet, what? real becomin', was it?"

Miss Phrony's face softened, and she gave him a languis.h.i.+ng glance--with one eye, the other trying to see what it was like, with little success.

"'Tis elegant!" she said. "'Tis the handsomest ever I saw. I've put it away--for the future!"

"Sho!" said Calvin. "You don't want to do that. You want to wear it to meetin' next Sunday, Miss Phrony. Any one oughtn't to wait too long to look handsome, you know, fear they mightn't get round to it."

"Oh! not _next_ Sunday, Cap'n Parks!" cried Miss Phrony, with another languis.h.i.+ng glance. "That is _too_ suddin! The Sunday after, p'raps, if you will have it so."

"Just as you say!" said Calvin, struggling with a specially dry chip of ham. "The sooner the better, Miss Phrony, if things is as you said."

"Have some pie!" cried the lady with sudden tenderness. "Do! I made it o' purpose for you, Cap'n!"

"Did!" said Calvin, and he eyed the pie gravely. "Well, just a leetle portion, Miss Phrony! I made a hearty dinner, and--mince, is it, or--or what?" he added, after the first mouthful. "I don't seem to recognize the flavor."

"It's Pie-fillene!" said Miss Phrony complacently. "I got a sample package when I was over to the Corners, and I saved it for you."

"Now that was real thoughtful of you!" said Calvin.

"Do you like it?" asked the maiden coyly.

"It's consid'able different from mince!" said Calvin. "Yes, it is a remarkable pie," he added, after a second bite; "no two ways about that. I never tasted one like it. Do you s'pose I could have just a mite of b.u.t.ter on this biscuit, Miss Phrony?"

[Ill.u.s.tration: "WITH ONE SWIFT MOTION, CALVIN TRANSFERRED THE PIE FROM HIS PLATE TO THE STOVE."]

Miss Phrony a.s.sented, and went into the pantry. Then, with one swift, stealthy motion, Calvin Parks transferred the portion of pie from his plate to the stove, replaced the stove-cover noiselessly, and was in his seat and gazing placidly at his empty plate before Miss Phrony appeared with the b.u.t.ter.

"Why, you've eat your pie real speedy!" she cried joyfully.

"It's all gone!" said Calvin soberly. "Not a mite left. No--no thank you, not another morsel! but it certinly is a remarkable pie. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go in and have a pipe with the old lady."

"So do!" said Miss Phrony graciously. "I'll be in as soon as I've done the dishes, Cap'n."

"Don't hasten!" said Calvin Parks earnestly.

Old Mrs. Marlin was still cowering over the stove, her fingers spread like a bird's claws.

"Did you like your supper, Cap'n?" she asked, as Calvin entered.

"That's what!" replied Calvin enigmatically.

"It's all dust and ashes!" said the old lady unexpectedly.

"Well!" said Calvin. "I dono as I'd go so fur as that, quite, but it was undeniable dry."

"Jesus'll kerry me through!" the widow went on, rocking herself back and forth. "Dust and ashes, and Jordan rollin' past, rollin' past!" Her eyes glittered, and her voice rose in a sing-song whine.

"Hold on there, old lady," said Calvin Parks. "Come out o' that now, and let's be sociable Christmas night. I dono as you'd think it right and proper to allow of me smokin', what?"

The glitter died out of the old lady's eyes; she stopped rocking, and cackled gleefully; this time-worn joke never failed to delight her. With eager, trembling fingers she brought out a cob pipe from a corner behind the stove, and handed it to Calvin, who filled it from his own pouch and returned it to her. Then he lighted his own pipe, and soon they were puffing in concert. In the pantry close by Miss Phrony was rattling dishes; they sounded like dry bones.

"There!" said Calvin comfortably. "Now you feel better, don't you, old lady?"

The old lady nodded like a Salem mandarin.

"Jordan ain't rollin' so fast now, is it?"

"Nothin' like!" said the old lady.

"Then, since we're all comfortable and peaceful," said Calvin, "I've half a mind to tell you something, old lady."

He paused and seemed to listen; his next words were spoken silently.

"What say? Oh, you go along! I tell you I've got to tell some one, or I shall bust. I can't fetch hossy into the settin'-room, can I? 'Tis betwixt sawdust and kindlin's with these two, but yet I like the old one best."

Then he spoke aloud. "Yes, ma'am! I reelly have--a half a mind to tell you something. Some time or other--not right away, you needn't go thinkin' that, but when I get round to it, you understand--I am thinkin'

of--of changin' my condition."

The widow uttered an exclamation, and fixed her beady eyes on him eagerly. The rattling of dishes in the pantry stopped suddenly.