The Wooing of Calvin Parks Part 24

'Where's Calvin Parks?' I says; and they made answer you hadn't come in, and they'd sat up 'most all night for you, and was scairt to death, and all the rest of it. 'Show me his room!' I says. They made objections to that, and I just cleared 'em to one side and stomped up, and they after me. When they see your things were gone, Phrony give a screech fit to wake the dead, and the old woman set up a gibberin' about Jordan rollin'

past, and dust and ashes, and I don't know what all. My eye and Phrony's lit on this paper"--he held out a crumpled sc.r.a.p--"the same moment, and we run for it together, but I got my claws in it first, and read it out loud. Then, 'Miss Marlin,' I says, quiet like, 'I'll take that money!'

'What money?' she says, and added language that ain't fit for this lady to hear.

"'You know what money!' I says. 'I'm a special constable, and my team is outside. You'll hand me that money or see the inside of the lock-up within half an hour!' I says. She used awful language then; gorry! if you'll excuse the expression, ma'am, I never heard such language, and I'm no chicken. But the old woman throws up her hands, and screeches out, 'A jidgment, Phrony! a jidgment! Jesus walkin' on the waves, and Jordan rollin' past! Git it out of the bureau drawer!'

"I'm old, ma'am, but I'm tol'able spry. I got to the door and into the front room before Phrony did; and when she see me at the bureau she gave one awful yell and fell down in some kind of fit. I took the money. The old woman was kind of clawin' the air over her, and sayin' 'Dust and ashes! dust and ashes! h.e.l.l fire's lightin' up!' 'Twarn't no agreeable sight, and I come away. And--and here's the money, friend Calvin, and I wish you joy with it."

Calvin Parks took the money with a dazed look.

"Mr. Cheeseman," he said, "I don't know what to say to you. There don't seem to be anything _to_ say that'll express what I feel--"

"You might introduce me to this lady!" said the old man with a frosty twinkle.

"Darn my hide!" cried Calvin Parks. "Somebody put me under the pump, will they? Mr. Ivory Cheeseman, let me make you acquainted with Mis'

Calvin Parks as is to be! her present name is Ha--Sands!"

"Miss Ha.s.sands," said Mr. Cheeseman with a magnificent bow, "I am pleased to meet you, I'm sure!"

Mary became rather hysterical at this, and it was necessary for Calvin to soothe and quiet her; Mr. Cheeseman meanwhile inspected the harnesses critically, and expressed his opinion that they was a first-rate set out, and no mistake.

While they were thus occupied, the barn door was suddenly flung open, and a thin, peevish voice cried, "Cousin! Cousin Mary! where in time have you got to?"

The trio started and turned. In the doorway stood Mr. Simeon Sill, in carpet slippers and overcoat, the latter displaying a valance of flowered dressing-gown. A woollen shawl was tied over his head, and from it his eyes peered disconsolately.

"Where have you got to?" he repeated querulously. "Breakfast time, and the kittle bilin' over, and no table set, and Sam'l waitin'--"

At this moment he caught sight of the three conspirators, and stopped open-mouthed, his eyes goggling in his head.

"Oh! Cousin Sim, you'll get cold!" cried Mary Sands, hastily smoothing her hair. "Do go back to the house! I'm comin' right in."

"Mornin', Sim!" said Calvin Parks genially. "Come out to see the stock, have ye? I call that smart, now!"

"Mr. Simeon Sill, I believe!" said Mr. Cheeseman with dignity. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir!"

Mr. Sim looked from one to another, still gaping; and finally his gaze fixed itself sternly on Mary Sands.

"I don't know what's goin' on in my barn," he said, "nor I don't know what dum foolishness you folks is up to; but I give you to understand that my brother Sam'l is waitin' for his med'cine!"

THE END.