The Wraiths Of Will And Pleasure Part 49

'No, of course you don't care, but you should start to. If you want to start putting things right in your life, begin here. It'd be a small start perhaps, but a meaningful one.'

Pellaz shook his head vigorously. 'I can't,' he said. 'I can't be bothered with all the emotional fallout, the explanations, apologies, justifications.... I'm too tired and beaten to deal with it.'

'Then let me fix it so you don't have to,' Flick said quickly, sensing a hint of capitulation on Pell's part. 'Let me speak to Terez, and to Ulaume.' He hesitated. 'I may have to speak to some high-ranking hara in s.h.i.+lalama too. I want to be honest, Pell. Cal made a liar of me once. I won't let it happen again. There are some important things you should know about this place, things that maybe Thiede already knows about and doesn't want you to be aware of, or maybe things that even Thiede doesn't know. It has nothing to do with Cal, or intrigues, or court scandals, or petty rivalries, but a lot to do with being a responsible ruler of Wraeththu. Do you hear me? Do you hear what I'm saying?'

'I showed you my true self,' Pellaz said. 'I showed you the dark, the rotten, the human bits that still lurk inside. Don't think I'm like this at home, Flick. I trusted you. Don't throw it back in my face.'

'I'm not. A good Tigron would be a good listener. Have you gone deaf?' Flick thought that maybe he had gone too far with that.

Pellaz regarded him with narrowed eyes. 'I need allies,' he said. 'Will I find that in my brother, in Ulaume? Will I find that in s.h.i.+lalama?'

'By Aru, yes!' Flick said, not sure himself if that was the truth. 'At least, meet your brother. If Thiede has decided Terez has no place in your life, perhaps it's time you made your own decision about it.'

After a pause, Pellaz said, 'Very well. Now tell me what it is I need to know about s.h.i.+lalama.' He had managed to pull himself together and draw the mask of Tigron over his face. He no longer appeared confused or upset. He was a har used to having his questions answered.

'I need to speak to certain individuals first,' Flick said. 'You'll have to trust me on that.'

'There is nothing Thiede doesn't know.'

'Maybe there isn't. But there are certainly things of which you are unaware.'

Pellaz sighed deeply and nodded. 'I will accept what you say and I will meet them. That is all. I can make no other promises. Remember that Ulaume has a bad reputation, and Terez, apparently, has earned one. I'm not sure it would be in my best interest to present them as friends, let alone relatives, in Terez's case.'

'You slept with him every night of your life until you left home,' Flick said softly. 'Why do we have to abandon those whom we loved as humans, especially if they are har too? If you cannot forget Cal, how can you forget Terez... or Mima for that matter? '

'What has Mima to do with this?' Pellaz said. 'Is she... is she still alive?'

Flick stared at him for some moments. He shouldn't tell: he knew he shouldn't. He was risking everything. 'Yes,' he said at last.

'You found her,' Pellaz murmured, 'when you went back to my home. You found her, didn't you?' His voice rose, and he grabbed hold of Flick's shoulders, his fingers digging painfully into the flesh. 'Who else? Who else, Flick?'

'Let me go!' Flick said. 'No one else. The others were dead, apart from Dorado, who was taken by the Uigenna.'

Pellaz released him. 'Why haven't you told me this before?'

Flick rubbed his bruised flesh. 'You didn't give me s.p.a.ce! You just dismissed that little task you made me swear to carry out. Remember? You've known that Terez is har for months, but you've never asked me about him. You didn't care.'

'Did my brothers save Mima from the Uigenna?'

'No. She saved herself.' He hesitated. 'Pell, you should hear it from her, not me. It's an... extraordinary story.'

'What do you mean? How can I?'

'She lives with us too.'

Pellaz uttered a wordless sound and turned his back on Flick. It seemed as if he couldn't believe what he'd heard.

'Come back home with me,' Flick said. 'Now.'

Pellaz did not turn to face him again for some moments. When he did, the mask was in place. 'Yes, I will, although I cannot stay long.'

Flick could barely trust that Pellaz had decided to co-operate. He whistled for Astral at once, and the sedu sedu came running with Peridot at his side. Before they mounted up, Flick said, 'You might have to keep this meeting secret. You don't know how much I'm risking.' came running with Peridot at his side. Before they mounted up, Flick said, 'You might have to keep this meeting secret. You don't know how much I'm risking.'

Pellaz laughed coldly. 'You should know I'm good at keeping secrets,' he said.

As they rode back down the moonlit valleys, Flick was thinking about whether he'd have to return to the festival and find his friends, or whether they'd already have gone home. He wondered how he should handle the situation. If he just sprang Pellaz on them without warning, no doubt a messy, emotional scene would ensue: the last thing Pellaz wanted. It might drive him away again immediately. But, as usual, Flick found he could not make plans, because even before they reached s.h.i.+lalama, two horses came galloping madly towards them, bearing Ulaume and Mima in a distraught state.

Flick uttered a low curse and directed a request at Astral to halt. He dismounted, sensing trouble, and not just the obvious.

'Flick!' Mima cried, throwing herself from her horse. Her attention was fixed directly on Flick. She didn't notice anything else.

'What is it?' he asked.

'Something terrible!' Mima exclaimed. 'Where were you? Why did you leave? Lileem... Oh Aru, the worst has happened!'

'Hus.h.!.+' Flick said. He took hold of her shoulders and glanced beyond her to Ulaume who was still seated on his horse. Ulaume was staring at Pellaz, and his expression was unreadable.

'Flick, what can we do?' Mima said, her face pressed against his shoulder.

'Tell me,' he said. 'What has Lileem done?'

Mima raised her head. At the same moment, Pellaz jumped down from Peridot and said, 'Terez?'

Mima stiffened in Flick's hold. She gazed into his eyes as if afraid to look away.

'Yes,' Flick murmured. 'I was bringing Pell to you.'

'How?' she asked. 'How?'

Flick turned to Pellaz. 'This is not Terez, this is Mima.'

Pellaz stared at her, as he might stare at a wonder of the world. 'Mima?' he said.

She stepped away from Flick and returned Pell's stare. She looked dazed. 'Are you real? Has Lileem sent you?'

He frowned. 'Who? No. Mima, I can't believe this. You look...' He shook his head.

'I am har,' she said. 'That is how I look.'

'That's impossible.'

'No, it's not. I'm your sister and you rose from the dead. The Cevarros are capable of anything.' She laughed uncertainly. 'How are we supposed to do this? This is a big reunion. There should be trumpets or something.'

'Did Terez do this to you?'

'No,' Mima said. She turned to Flick. 'I can't deal with this now. You don't know what's happened.'

'Then tell me,' Flick said.

'Lileem and Terez I think they took aruna together. They disappeared. I think it's like the otherlanes. I'm not sure. They've just gone. We need to get them back.' She looked at her brother. 'Is this why you're here? Can you help us?'

'I'm sorry,' Pellaz said, 'I have no idea what you're talking about. Mima, you look marvellous.'

'Thanks, so do you.' She appealed to Flick. 'What do we do? Should we tell Kaa? I just don't know.'

'Is this what you were trying to tell me?' Pellaz said to Flick. 'About Mima, a woman becoming har?'

'Flick, what are we going to do?' Mima said.

'Be quiet, both of you,' Flick said. 'One thing at a time.' He looked up for Ulaume, seeking support, but Ulaume had gone. There was no time to think about that. 'We can't do anything about Lileem and Terez immediately. We don't know what's happened. You might be worrying over nothing.'

'I found their clothes,' Mima said. 'There was a big light, and we saw them, just for a second, then they just weren't there. Where are they?'

'I don't know,' Flick said. He felt as if he was about to disappear from reality himself and wondered how the universe expected him to deal with two such momentous situations at once. 'We need to talk. Mima, Pell wanted to meet you and Terez. He needs to know the truth.'

'Where do we begin?' Mima said. 'I feel like I'm going to wake up from this crazy dream any moment.'

'We all feel like that,' Flick said. 'And I hope Pell can help us. But first he needs to know what's going on.'

'Can we tell the Tigron?' Mima asked, as if Pellaz wasn't standing there listening to them.

'Probably not,' Flick said. 'At least Kaa and her kind wouldn't want us too. But he's family, Mima. Haven't you always said that's important?'

She nodded and addressed Pellaz, who'd had the grace to remain quiet since Flick had asked him to. 'I'm having difficulty accepting this is really you, but then after what I've seen tonight anything is possible.'

'I have never dared think about you,' Pellaz said. 'This is as disorientating to me as it is to you. I'm glad to see you, Mima. This is a gift I'd never have expected.'

She grinned, rather crookedly. 'My brothers are adept at disappearing and reappearing in unbelievable circ.u.mstances. I only hope Terez keeps up the tradition.'

Ulaume realised he had to accept that whatever hideous situation you can think of, fate will always devise something worse. It was clear to him now that Flick had been seeing Pellaz-har-Aralis, Tigron of Immanion, in secret and that this was why he'd lost interest in their chesna-bond. Who could blame him? Pellaz: beautiful, alive and as distant as a star. He'd been a friend of Flick's once, and obviously still was: perhaps more than a friend. The Tigron's only memories of Ulaume, however, would be of a Kakkahaar wh.o.r.e who had once tried to strangle him with his hair. But how could Flick do this? How had he kept it so quiet?

It's bizarre, Ulaume thought, as he went to consume two bottles of Lileem's wine in the yard at home, Ulaume thought, as he went to consume two bottles of Lileem's wine in the yard at home, you think you know a har, but you really don't at all. How can the nicest har in the world turn out to be more deceitful, cunning and sly than the most irredeemable of Kakkahaar? you think you know a har, but you really don't at all. How can the nicest har in the world turn out to be more deceitful, cunning and sly than the most irredeemable of Kakkahaar?

Now that he thought he'd lost Flick for definite, he realised how deep his feelings ran. He'd thought Flick had felt the same. Ulaume was convinced the otherlanes had somehow affected Flick. That d.a.m.ned spooky horse must have carried him off to Immanion the first chance it got.

I should find myself a suicidal Kamagrian, Ulaume thought, Ulaume thought, and together we could pop out of existence. Perhaps there is another world. Perhaps Terez and Lileem are there now. and together we could pop out of existence. Perhaps there is another world. Perhaps Terez and Lileem are there now.

He drank himself into deeper gloom, stretched out on a hard wooden bench. The dawn had begun, stealing over the land in an annoyingly serene and beautiful way. Ulaume only wanted to shoot the birds that sang rapturously in the oaks that lined the street beyond the yard. He really couldn't think what would happen to him next. Oblivion seemed the only option.

The sound of voices and doors opening and closing in the house advised Ulaume that Flick and Mima had come home. He wondered whether they had the ill.u.s.trious Tigron with them. It seemed unlikely such a prestigious har would set foot in a humble dwelling like theirs, even though Pellaz derived from humble beginnings himself. Ulaume felt numb, incapable of rationalising anything. The murmur of voices lulled him to sleep and as he drifted off, he imagined they talked about him, listing his faults. He imagined Pellaz told the others some of the terrible things Ulaume had done with Lianvis and that he should be thrown into a pit full of scorpions. Ulaume could hear them all laughing.

The laughter faded away and Ulaume was back in time. He dreamed of a powerful ritual, of Lianvis taking the life of a human child to curry favour with Hubisag. But when the moment came for the child to die, Ulaume did not help Lianvis kill. Instead, he called upon the dehar Aruhani, who manifested as a har with the lower body of a great serpent. The dehar spat poisonous fire that momentarily blinded Lianvis and his shamans. He carried Ulaume and the child up into the air in a black cloud that hid them from the world. In this cloud, Aruhani said, 'It is your task to care for the little one now. Go into the wilderness, hide him from danger, and you will be absolved.'

Ulaume woke with a start. His body was drenched with sweat because he was lying in the sun. His head ached in several different places, which made him smile sadly, because that was the sort of headache Lileem always had. He had had cared for her. She was the child in the wilderness. And now, she had gone. Everything had gone. cared for her. She was the child in the wilderness. And now, she had gone. Everything had gone.

'Ulaume?'

He opened his eyes and a black shadow stood over him. 'Terez...?'

'No.' The figure hunkered down and Ulaume saw that it was Pellaz. 'It seems that my siblings and I are always confused with one another.' He looked so different and yet so similar to how Ulaume remembered. Ulaume couldn't think of anything to say.

'I'm sorry I've caused a problem,' Pellaz said. 'I have been meeting Flick for some time, and asked him not to tell you. I shouldn't have. It's not his fault.'

Ulaume still could not speak, which he knew was most unlike him.

'I have heard so many strange and wonderful things. If my story is incredible, yours and Flick's is no less so. You left your tribe for the sake of a harling that wasn't even yours. That took guts.'

'Don't patronise me,' Ulaume said, finding his voice. 'You've destroyed my life. Stupid of me to think I could have one.' He tried to sit up and groaned. The effect of the alcohol would take a couple of hours to wear off, despite harish ability to shrug off the consequences of over-indulgence. He decided to remain lying down, even if it did put him in a position of disadvantage.

'I have no idea what to say to you,' Pellaz said. 'I don't know you. The har who's been described to me by those who love you is not the one I met.'

'We've all changed,' Ulaume said.

'I haven't destroyed your life,' Pellaz said. 'I've only been talking to Flick, nothing more. I'm not trying to lure him to Immanion, if that's what you think. I just needed a friend.'

Ulaume realised, even through the fog in his brain, that Pellaz was offering a lot. He was Tigron. He didn't have to explain himself. Flick must have asked him to. It was still too incredible to look upon him. The night of Hubisag's festival came back to Ulaume. He could remember the smell of the fire. He could remember his frustrated desire. But what made his heart hurt now was the thought of Flick inside the house.

Pellaz sat down on the ground beside Ulaume's bench. 'I want to help with finding Terez and Lileem. I was thinking maybe Peridot, my sedu sedu, could try to find them. Mima thinks that aruna between hara and parazha opens a portal to another realm. It's amazing...' He shook his head. 'I feel like I've been fast asleep and have just woken up to find the entire world has changed.'

'It has.'

'Thank you for what you did for Mima. Without you, she would be dead.'

'That was hardly her sentiment at the time. Anyway, Lileem did it, not me.'

'You know what you did,' Pellaz said. He drew in his breath. 'There were differences between us once. I judged you.'

'Don't,' Ulaume said, 'this is too embarra.s.sing.'

Pellaz reached out and took a lock of Ulaume's hair in his hand. 'I heard what happened with the Uigenna. It must have been...'

'It was.' Ulaume couldn't resist flexing that hair a little. It curled around Pell's wrist like a tiny snake.

Pellaz just watched it. He didn't move. 'Come inside,' he said.

'No,' Ulaume said. 'I appreciate you coming out here, but I don't need to hear it from you.'

'Don't you?'

'No,' Ulaume said. 'I really don't.'

Pellaz stood up and Ulaume's hair dropped from his wrist. 'I'll tell him,' he said.

'No. Say nothing.'

Pellaz smiled. 'I understand.'

Ulaume thought about what he'd do if Flick didn't come out to find him. How long should he wait? He needed to use the bathroom, but didn't want to go slinking into the house. He didn't want to walk past them all.