Waste Part 26

BLACKBOROUGH. Of course we're all very glad indeed, Trebell ... very glad we persuaded him.

FARRANT. That's dead and buried now, isn't it?

TREBELL _moves away from them all and leaves them wondering. When he turns round his face is as hard as ever; his voice, if possible, harder._

TREBELL. But, Horsham, returning to the more important question ... you've taken trouble, and O'Connell's to perjure himself for nothing if you still can't get me into your child's puzzle ... to make the pretty picture that a Cabinet should be.

HORSHAM _looks at_ BLACKBOROUGH _and scents danger._

HORSHAM. We shall all be glad, I am sure, to postpone any further discussion....

TREBELL. I shall not.

BLACKBOROUGH. [_Encouragingly._] Quite so, Trebell. We're on the subject, and it won't discount our pleasure that you're out of this mess, to continue it. This habit of putting off the hour of disagreement is ... well, Horsham, it's contrary to my business instincts.

TREBELL. If one time's as good as another for you ... this moment is better than most for me.

HORSHAM. [_A little irritated at the wantonness of this dispute._] There is nothing before us on which we are capable of coming to any decision ... in a technical sense.

BLACKBOROUGH. That's a quibble. [_Poor_ HORSHAM _gasps._] I'm not going to pretend either now or in a month's time that I think Trebell anything but a most dangerous acquisition to the party. I pay you a compliment in that, Trebell. Now, Horsham proposes that we should go to the country when Disestablishment's through.

HORSHAM. It's the condition of Nonconformist support.

BLACKBOROUGH. One condition. Then you'd leave us, Trebell?

HORSHAM. I hope not.

BLACKBOROUGH. And carry with you the credit of our one big measure. Consider the effect upon our reputation with the Country.

FARRANT. [_Waking to_ BLACKBOROUGH'S _line of action._] Why on earth should you leave us, Trebell? You've hardly been a Liberal, even in name.

BLACKBOROUGH. [_Vigorously making his point._] Then what would be the conditions of your remaining? You're not a party man, Trebell. You haven't the true party feeling. You are to be bought. Of course you take your price in measures, not in money. But you are preeminently a man of ideas ... an expert. And a man of ideas is often a grave embarra.s.sment to a government.

HORSHAM. And vice-versa ... vice-versa!

TREBELL. [_Facing_ BLACKBOROUGH _across the room._] Do I understand that you for the good of the Tory party ... just as Cantelupe for the good of his soul ... will refuse to sit in a cabinet with me.

BLACKBOROUGH. [_Unembarra.s.sed._] I don't commit myself to saying that.

CANTELUPE. No, Trebell ... it's that I must believe your work could not prosper ... in G.o.d's way.

TREBELL _softens to his sincerity._

TREBELL. Cantelupe, I quite understand. You may be right ... it's a very interesting question. Blackborough, I take it that you object first of all to the scheme that I'm bringing you.

BLACKBOROUGH. I object to those parts of it which I don't think you'll get through the House.

FARRANT. [_Feeling that he must take part._] For instance?

BLACKBOROUGH. I've given you one already.

CANTELUPE. [_His eye on_ BLACKBOROUGH.] Understand there are things in that scheme we must stand or fall by.

_Suddenly_ TREBELL _makes for the door_, HORSHAM _gets up concernedly._

TREBELL. Horsham, make up your mind to-night whether you can do with me or not. I have to see Percival again to-morrow ... we cut short our argument at the important point. Good-bye ... don't come down. Will you decide to-night?

HORSHAM. I have made up my own mind.

TREBELL. Is that sufficient?

HORSHAM. A collective decision is a matter of development.

TREBELL. Well, I shall expect to hear.

HORSHAM. By hurrying one only reaches a rash conclusion.

TREBELL. Then be rash for once and take the consequences. Good-night.

_He is gone before_ HORSHAM _can compose another epigram._

BLACKBOROUGH. [_Deprecating such conduct._] Lost his temper!

FARRANT. [_Ruffling considerably._] Horsham, if Trebell is to be hounded out of your cabinet ... he won't go alone.

HORSHAM. [_Bitter-sweet._] My dear Farrant ... I have yet to form my cabinet.

CANTELUPE. You are forming it to carry disestablishment, are you not, Cyril?

Therefore you will form it in the best interests of the best scheme possible.

HORSHAM. Trebell was and is the best man I know of for the purpose. I'm a little weary of saying that.

_He folds his arms and awaits further developments. After a moment_ CANTELUPE _gets up as if to address a meeting._

CANTELUPE. Then if you would prefer not to include me ... I shall feel justified in giving independent support to a scheme I have great faith in.

[_And he sits down again._]

BLACKBOROUGH. [_Impatiently._] My dear Cantelupe, if you think Horsham can form a disestablishment cabinet to include Trebell and exclude you, you're vastly mistaken. I for one....

FARRANT. But do both of you consider how valuable, how vital Trebell is to us just at this moment? The Radicals trust him....

BLACKBOROUGH. They hate him.

HORSHAM. [_Elucidating._] Their front bench hates him because he turned them out. The rest of them hate their front bench. After six years of office, who wouldn't?

BLACKBOROUGH. That's true.

FARRANT. Oh, of course, we must stick to Trebell, Blackborough.