Gumbo: A Celebration of African American Writing Part 63

He looked at me and laughed. "Maybe you could be that woman? Ain't n.o.body in the world but me. The house is paid for. Got a few dollars saved, and there's my retirement annuity from the railroad. You'll get that forever."

"Mr. Pete, I'm only twenty-four!" I exclaimed. The last image I wanted in my head was that old man humping on top of me.

"Twenty-four with proof that you can give birth," he said. He nodded to Alex who chose that moment to look at us with an angelic face.

"Katie!" He shouted and ran toward us.

It was one of those storybook moments. He ran straight into my arms with Paris yelping at his heels. Mr. Pete chuckled, and I felt absolutely trapped. Just then Mama came out of the house, and I used her entrance to escape.

Mr. Pete was on a mission. He wanted a child. After that encounter, I saw him with a few of my high school cla.s.smates. The girls were always dressed to the nines with jewelry galore. Fine and dandy. I met James and married him. James and I got a divorce just when LaWanna Jordan, Regina's baby sister, announced her pregnancy by Mr. Pete. Her wedding plans were as grand as the plans for the royal wedding, fifteen bridesmaids, two flower girls, and a white limousine. Mama talked about the affair with distaste and disbelief.

"Can't believe Pete's letting some twenty-year-old child trick him into marriage. Everybody knows she ain't pregnant by him. Old goat! Thinks he gonna leave a string of children behind. Married to Verna for forty years and never a hint of a baby. Of course, he blames her. Go 'round saying she couldn't have any children, but the man cheated on her left and right. Where're the babies from all those affairs? And Verna? Heaven knows I loved that woman, but why she spent most of her life crying over that dog, I don't know."

"Woof-woof," Alex said from the floor. "Woof-woof."

"Stop that, boy!" Mama snapped.

He and I were watching our Thursday night television lineup, Cosby, A Different World, and anything else that NBC had to offer. Back then I spent Thursday evenings at Mama's house. Every other Sat.u.r.day, I picked Alex up for a movie and dinner date. Sometimes he spent the night with me. Most of the time he didn't. I was in school at the time, trying to get my master's. It was so much easier for Alex to stay with Mama.

"You said he was a dog," Alex pushed his luck.

"You keep on, and you won't see another episode of Cosby this year," Mama warned.

I guess LaWanna would have married Mr. Pete and gone to Vegas for the honeymoon if she hadn't been spooked out of her plans. A week before the wedding, the story goes, LaWanna and Mr. Pete did a walk through his home. She wanted all of Verna's things gone, and planned to redo the house in soft lavender and blue, with sprinkles of yellow. On the second floor Mr. Pete walked past a closed door like it didn't exist. LaWanna insisted on going into that room.

"Pete, honey, I need to look in this room," she said.

"That there is gonna be the nursery," Mr. Pete said.

"Well, don't you think I should look inside and make some plans?" she asked.

Reluctantly he took out an old-fas.h.i.+oned skeleton key and unlocked the door. The room was large and bright. The cream wallpaper had teddy bears holding colorful balloons. There was a beautiful hand-carved oak crib against one wall. A wicker ba.s.sinet, draped with netting, stood against another wall. The ba.s.sinet and netting were yellowed with age. The third wall supported a changing station and small white dresser. A bamboo rocker sat by a window that overlooked the neighborhood. Scattered around the room were toys. GI Joes marched across the window sills. A Chatty Cathy doll and several Barbie dolls crawled across the lap of a huge panda bear. There were toys out of Burger King and McDonald's gift packs. A family of dead sea monkeys floated in a dirty fish tank. Winnie the Pooh rode a tricycle. Quick Draw McGraw sat on a bicycle. Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble sat on a Big Wheel. A scale model Lionel train set, a go-cart, three racing tracks, and thousands of Matchbox cars ran around the room. There were Raggedy Ann and Andy, Winnie the Pooh, and Barney Rubble stuffed dolls. Posters of Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Underdog, and a rare one of the Little Rascals looked down from the wall. Model airplanes, s.h.i.+ps, and a model of the U.S.S. Enterprise from Star Trek dangled from the ceiling on thin wires. There were smaller things like crayons, coloring books, bolo bats, jacks, marbles, a slinky, and a Rubik's cube. Mr. Pete had added to that collection of toys year after year.

Some said it was that rocker moving slowly back and forth that tipped the scale. Others swear that LaWanna heard Verna humming a lullaby. Still others testified that it was the ghost of Verna that made LaWanna back out that room until she hit the wall in the hallway. LaWanna swore that she felt something tap her on the shoulder. When she turned, Verna scowled down at her from a huge picture. I know that picture well. Verna was not happy that day. In that picture, her eyes were narrow, tight slits, her mouth, a wrinkled pucker. To this day, LaWanna swears Mama Verna whispered, don't touch nothing here. Anyway, LaWanna ran down the stairs, screaming at the top of her lungs, with Mr. Pete behind her calling: "Girl, girl! What's the matter with you, girl?"

But Mr. Pete was old and LaWanna was fast. She was outside the house and running up Loomis Avenue before Mr. Pete could get to the first floor. LaWanna called the wedding off. She claimed she lost the baby in the flight. In less than a month, Mr. Pete was back to begging me to marry him. I married Mr. Pete for one reason only. He saved my son-brother's life.

I don't know about other cities, but in Chicago the children will get in the middle of the street and play ball-football, dodgeball, baseball, soccer. When cars came drivers would toot their horns and the kids would scatter. The drivers never, ever rolled their cars over the children like a ball over bowling pins. The day Alex was mowed down, we sat on our stoops up and down the street watching the kids play dodgeball. An ice cream truck had pa.s.sed, so almost everybody was munching on something. A few of the boys had wolfed down their treats and were back in the street. Alex, who was not allowed to play in the streets, was with them. He had a way of blending into a group of kids so Mama and I couldn't see him.

Along came a yellow Pontiac Firebird. It was a beauty. As it pa.s.sed our house at top speed, I saw the red emblem on the back. Then I saw my child in its path.

I leaped up and screamed. I heard the screeching of tires. The car swerved. I heard the grind of metal against metal. I fainted. I regained consciousness as the ambulance wailed down our street. Mr. Pete kneeled by Alex. The Firebird had careened into a parked car but still managed to hit Alex on his side. Mr. Pete administered CPR. He breathed into Alex's mouth and pumped his tiny chest. Mama and all the other mamas were praying, "Dear Lord, oh, Jesus, save this child." By the time the ambulance made it way down our street, Alex was breathing. I vowed then to take CPR, which I later did.

Mr. Pete drove Mama to the hospital, while I rode in the ambulance. He handled the doctors because Mama and I were in shock. I was still in shock when he asked me to marry him. I was half-comatose with thoughts of losing my only son-brother. I said yeah and Mr. Pete didn't allow time for me to change my mind. He raced me from Mercy Hospital to city hall. We were married that day. Mama never spoke about that marriage.

By time Alex got out of the hospital and I realized my mistake, I was firmly ensconced in Mr. Pete's house. Verna never frowned at me or made any type of appearance. I thought, Well h.e.l.l, the man does think I'm pretty. He's nice, and he did say he would wait until I was comfortable being Mrs. Peter Smith, before we attempted to make his son.

I reminded him of his promise to set up a trust fund for Alex's education and to change his will so I could get the house. I really didn't expect the old geezer to do it since Mama said a distant cousin of Verna's would inherit everything, but he did. One morning, he placed a manila envelope in my hands with all the appropriate paper work. What else could I do but keep my part of the bargain? I am a woman of my word.

On our official wedding night, bile sloshed in my stomach. Every time I looked at the old geezer, I shuddered. When I was a child, Mr. Pete wasn't bad looking but on our wedding night old age had twisted his good looks into a comedic nightmare. His pink lips were simply cups to hold saliva. His skin was thin, dry parchment with liver spots. He moved as if every bone in his body was on the verge of breaking. His soft curly hair had yellowed with age. His eyes were huge behind his triple thick eyegla.s.ses.

I figured that Mr. Pete had one good go in him. He would hump me, roll over, and wait for the baby to grow in my stomach. I bought a black gown that surged so far down in the back that the crack of my b.u.t.t gulped air.

A slit ran up the front and the bosom plunged down to my navel. I figured this would excite Mr. Pete so much that the whole sordid act would be over in, say, five minutes.

To guarantee the old geezer wouldn't have enough energy to last past a hit and a miss, I cooked a huge dinner; oxtails in speckled b.u.t.ter beans, candied yams, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, fried okra, sliced tomatoes with mayonnaise, and a peach cobbler with so much b.u.t.ter and sugar in it that the crust glittered. h.e.l.l, that meal would have put the strongest man to sleep. I put on Isaac Hayes' Hot b.u.t.ter Soul LP, and prayed that the man would be finished with my body before the long version of Walk on By was completed.

That night Mr. Pete started at my toes, licking and sucking them like candy, while his fingers played my satin hips like a fine harp. He nibbled my calves while he ma.s.saged my ankles and I felt the first stirring, the first quivering of excitement. He nibbled up my body to my navel. His tongue darted in and circled slowly, almost ticklishly. An ancient core of l.u.s.t burned inside my stomach. Did it matter that his body was as wrinkled as an old cotton sheet? No. When he took one of my nipples into his mouth and rolled his tongue around it, I heard myself groan from some hot orange place where desire controlled my mind and body. I clawed the bed and pulled the sheets as my hips rose. By the time that old man released my hardened, wet nipple from his mouth, I was begging him for more. I hated him for that. I tell you, I despised him. I did not want to want him, but there I was writhing on his bed underneath the watchful eyes of Verna, writhing and saying "please" like some young girl who didn't know any better. And Mr. Pete, was a master, he nursed at my b.r.e.a.s.t.s softly. Notice I said nursed, not lick'd or nibbled, but nursed one after the other. Long before we consummated our marriage, I had o.r.g.a.s.ms. I had many mini-o.r.g.a.s.ms. When he finally entered me, I could only scream as flashes of light, intensely bright, filled my sight. Little did I know that was only a mid-size o.r.g.a.s.m under his masterful hands. I thought it was a major thing, but Mr. Pete I took me on one roller coaster ride after another. At one point, I thought my heart would explode. He moved slowly, like honey coming out of a jar, like he had a lifetime to consummate our marriage. There was no rush, no hurry. Whenever I thought the old geezer was at the point of o.r.g.a.s.m, he would stop, just stop and breathe. Obviously, he intended to go on forever. By the time the man finally e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed-no, wrong word-unloaded all that was in him, I was weak and angry. I curled away from him, ashamed of my body's betrayal. His hand rested on my belly. Lying in the darkened bedroom, I wanted to scream. I had married a man who expected a baby and who had the stamina to work diligently toward that goal.

When Mr. Pete died a couple of months later, I had the house and his retirement, and Alex had what was in his bank account in a nifty little trust fund, but I was not pregnant. After Mr. Pete's funeral, I donated the toys (except a few collectible items) to LaRabida Children's Research Hospital. I gave all the furniture away to Goodwill Industries. I painted the house and rented it to the Gordons, a couple with life. I moved to the North Side, far away from Englewood. Folks looked at that house on Loomis and thought If that old goat hadn't tried to make a baby he would have lived much longer. But, if that old goat had lived any longer, he would have worn my young body out.

FROM Rest for the Weary.

BY ARTHUR FLOWERS.

I am Flowers of the Delta Clan Flowers and the line of O. Killens. This tale I tell as told to me. Once upon a time there was an angel. And a conjureman. Walk with me Lord Legba.

Horns, whistles and noisemakers erupt through the thin walls of the hotel. Outside the snug coc.o.o.n of their room New Orleans parties in the New Year. She leans over him, silvered hair a translucent curtain around their heads. He is acutely conscious of the points where her body lies warm against his. "What happens" she says, when the dream dies.

He looks up at her, waiting for a reprieve. The lamp behind her backlights the silvered curtain that shelters them. He clears his throat. Dreams never die he says, what are you trying to tell me, baby?

It's over the says, you've got to leave in the morning.

There is a finality he has not heard before. This time he thinks, this time she is going to make it stick. Six, seven months hes been fired six, seven times. But always before the dream brought her back. His hand slowly strokes the flaring curve of her hip. Perhaps this is the last time he'll handle her. The first time they've made love without watching the clock. The first time shes slept in his arms.

They had come to New Orleans for New Year's 2000. She had told him she was going down to visit her parents and he had asked if he could come down for a New Year's Eve dinner with her. I'll leave right away he said, just take you to dinner he said. She said she would have a hotel room for when she needed a break from her parents. He could stay over if he wanted to. A couple of nights if you want. I probably wont stay there with you though.

She works in the little neighborhood library at the mouth of the park, on the corner of Riverside and Person. Both library and neighborhood named after Riverside Park, about a mile or so of thickly wooded Mississippi River bluff in deep South Memphis. He lives in the park itself, and alongside the river, in a little house on the bluff sitting treetop tall on stilts dug deep in delta mud. Neighborhood folk call it a treehouse but it only looks that way, a tight little box of a house, old gray wood as weathered as the trees that surround it and barely visible in the bright months of sanctuary. The good folk of Riverside quick to point out late night lights glowing deep in the Park to folks from less blessed Memphis neighborhoods. See there they say, where the lights are? Thats where the hoodooman stay they say. In a house on stilts. So he can see.

He tells stories, delta cla.s.sics on the college circuit, festivals, community dothingees, it's a living. Late forties dreadman, thick and bearded and built to take punishment, a bluegummed twoheaded man with hooded eyes and a face of carved wood that showed only what he wanted it to. Met her at the library, where he likes to nest among the fruits of solitary labors. She is the reference desk librarian and it just so happens that from his favorite chair (back to the wall and facing the door, a child of the 60s) she be in his line of sight. Interesting woman, a cla.s.sic beauty, long and lean, with an unruly mane of prematurely silvered dreads. They nod, exchange pleasantries, have lunch occasionally. She is, he soon realizes, a strange and fascinating woman, an iconoclastic sort within whom he detects the complicated soul of an artist.

They had been on nodding terms for years when lunches were inaugurated by a fortuitous encounter at the Hole in the Wall, the local juke eatery across from the library and next to the Riverside Baptist Church. Angel, she told him. Angel, he said. Hard name to carry he said. My parents thought very highly of me she said. And when she laughed at herself she threw her head off to the side in a manner that struck him like revelation.

Perhaps that's why one day he blurted out, surprising himself, Angel, I realize youre a married woman, but I would like to court you.

She watched him fidget, intrigued since the first time they met with the power she has over him. (You drooled she told him.) Highjohn I'm very flattered but you know Im a married woman and I hope you can respect that is what he expected. Instead she looked at him with this stricken look. I'm sorry he babbled, I hope I haven't upset you, I just . . . No, no, she said, you havent upset me . . . I am married, though.

I know, he murmured, head tucked down into his shoulders, I just had to say it you know. I'll . . . uh . . . see you later. But as he turned away she brushes his beard with the palm of her hand. You didn't upset me, she said.

All night long conjureman feeling the angelsbrush of her palm. And the goodfolk of Riverside, heavier in ash'e than most, toss and turn in their sleep cause the conjureman howling at the midnight moon.

The next morning an e-mail saying she wanted to talk. They arrange to meet at the Hole. The old ease gone. Eyes that fidget and flicker. I cant be what you want me to be, she said. But I didnt get any sleep last night thinking about what you said. You can't . . . court me . . . like, that . . . I have a husband you know. But we can continue to be friends. To have lunch like we have. If you're comfortable with that.

Very. Thankful, even. What on earth could he have been thinking of? That evening he e-mailed an apology. She replied that it wasnt necessary. Says she wants to finish the conversation when he got a chance.

They took to walking in the park during her lunch breaks, solemnized by the wooded calm. He found himself telling her things he himself didn't understand. Told her he wanted to save the race. Take the trick off the souls of blackfolk, Said I am Legba Child. Told her the park was a holy ground. A hole in the wall.

Said Brer Rabbit and his crew lived there. Said they wary of humanfolk but sometimes late at night I settle back and close my eyes and act like Im sleeping and soon enough old Brer Rabbit come peeping in the door and when he see me sleeping like that he call the rest of them in and they commence to partying. Brer Bear pull out; bluesharp Rabbit play; Sister c.o.o.n play, she guitar bigger than she; Brer and Sister Fox commence to kicking up their heels, and sometimes I get in the spirit and I forget myself and I open my eyes and the music stop and they all hide away till I close my eyes again.

She showed him dreams she has long carried in secret places. A story she once wrote, a nightblack African G.o.ddess born of stars and thunder. Kinda corny, I know, she said, I've never shown it to anybody. He listens with all his power to a wildweed childhood wandering the storytale streets of New Orleans when she should have been in school. Stories about her oldschool New Orleans family, funny ways and all, the second masters, the d.a.m.ned doctorate, ABD, if she can squeeze the time. Told him about late-night archaeology cla.s.ses at the University of Memphis, the summer digs on the Harriet Tubman Home in Auborn, the Tubman birthplace in Maryland. An extraordinary woman, she said, deltasun leaping off the river and igniting her eyes. Most people only know of her slaverytime and Civil War exploits. But in her last years she built a home for homeless exslaves. She never quit struggling. She speaks to me.

The first time he kissed her was in the park. Spring probably, pollen so thick you could taste it. They were standing high on the bluff and she was entirely too close. She turned to say something, their eyes meet and flicked away bruised. Before he realized it he was leaning in to kiss her. Caught himself. May I kiss you? he said. She nodded most imperceptibly. Then he kissed her and his world lurched spun shouted and spoke in tongues while he savored her lips, her tongue. Lost in the grace of Oshun. And I will be worthy of this blessing Oshun, I am forevermore your devoted fool. He opened his eyes, looked at her face up against his, put his hand on her neck to feel the warmth of her skin, the heartbeat under his finger. She drew back suddenly and pushed at his chest. No, she said, I shouldn't. He stepped back and she dropped her head into her hands. (Something moved in me, in my body and I knew it was a dangerous thing we were doing. I knew it then.) He stood there frozen. Never wanted to cause her grief. Sorry he mumbled and backed up to the edge of the bluff. Not your fault, she said, I need to get back. Sure, he said. They crossed the bridge over the expressway that separated the park from the city without speaking, much too aware of boundaries broken and fingers unlinked only upon crossing.

The second time was better than the first. This time he held her in his arms. This time she let him. But it was the first time they made love that the earth s.h.i.+fted under his feet. An easy peace wrapped their souls in a little warm blanket.

Then she fired him. For Legba is a jealous loa and does not care to share. I was going to tell you it was over, she said, pulling away and sitting on the edge of the bed, body still sleek with sweat. Sure, he said, no problem. she would be back he thought and when she came back she better have a better att.i.tude. He was still cool when he watched her drive off. Then he got to thinking. What if she didn't. Come back. Cla.s.sic alpha, the conjureman tend to command games. But could he take that chance with this one. What if she didn't. Come back.

Evening come and the conjureman walking the 'hood like he do, de village witch doctor keeping he finger on the pulse, the patterns unbroken the harmonies clean, his invisible thing, I see but am not seen. Some folk, heavy with the ash'e, see him just fine, but most just feel the pa.s.sing breeze of hoodooman walking. But this time he distracted by the very things that generally please him. Families sitting comfortable on wraparound porches, greeting folk and watching the day fall. Light glowing through windows as the sky darkens. Couples walking hand in hand with that coordinated rhythm. This time the conjureman retreats early into the leafy darkness. Acutely conscious of being d.a.m.n near fifty and living in the park like a kid playing games.

Conjureman sitting on a driftwood throne and handling he roots in he hand. Throw s.h.i.+ft frown. Not a good time for unclear signs. Throw s.h.i.+ft. Or perhaps it is just that he does not like what he see. Conjureman dont care for distraction. The faint brush of Fa like spiderwebs on the face. Throw s.h.i.+ft. Frown. He observes the habitual urge to slip back into his fortress, comfortable enough and answerable to n.o.body. When they were just flirting it was one thing but now that they have been intimate it is entirely another. Already he can feel significance lingering about the edges. The intoxicating scent of a power greater than his own Surely just the overwrought pa.s.sion of new love. The trees are greener afterall, the air fresher, his faded dreams once again bright and s.h.i.+ny things. He has been here before. No, not here, says the power.

To win her I would change the world.

He called. Cleared his throat and asked her to lunch. Said he wanted to talk. If that's alright with you. Okay, she said. Okay.

In the park and on the bluff. The park was deeply quiet and they can barely sense the city around them. The jagged treeline of Arkansas. I tried to be cool, he said, when you said what you said yesterday. I should have fallen on my knees and begged you to reconsider.

I wrote you she said. Wrote you a letter. I dont want to stop. What we doing.

He was glad he had come to her first. I am such a bohemian, he said. Thats not necessarily a bad thing, she said. You have no idea, he said.

If I were to go with you, what kind of life would we live.

He decides then that he will hoodoo her, bind her to him with a web of lovemagic. He commence to spinning dreams. Magical, he said. Whatever you want, he said. And he found himself caught up suddenly in the spell of his own dream. With all my power I will serve you, he said. I will tell stories of you that will be a beacon light unto the generations. Stories of my love for you. I will immortalize you, he said.

The letter was there when he got home. She really cared for him, it said. She cared for him and she cared for her husband and she was confused, she said, two men she cared for in her life, two fires, one for my husband and a growing one for you. Not contacting him would be hard, she said. I do love you, she said.

She canceled New Orleans twice. Twice she relented. The day he was supposed to leave he didnt answer the phone for fear she would tell him not to come. Didn't know what to expect until she met him in the lobby of a cla.s.sic Quarters hotel on Quarles, the Vila something or other, intimate, faintly decadent, a little elevator pus.h.i.+ng them together and forcing a hug, a quickish peck.

An equally cla.s.sic room with thick brocaded walls and lace covered windowdoors. They were just above the oldworld rooftops of the Quarter and a rainy drizzly day shrouded the crenelated roofs surrounding them. They sat on a wroughtiron balcony drinking champagne with bread, fruits and cheeses and only occasionally came inside to make candlelit love on the big bra.s.s bed.

G.o.d, this is good. Spooned up behind her and fitted in all particulars. G.o.d I want you, he says, into her ear. So does my husband, she says, he wants me, too. Well what do you want, he says. She turned and went into his chest. I want you, she says, so soft he more felt than heard it, my warrior, my fearless warrior. His heart swells and his power glows hot like a burning sun. And when he comes in her he is claiming her. Thats what he tells himself, convinces himself. Murmurs in her ear as she comes on him and he in her, Do you want me to be faithful to you baby, do you.

Oh yes, she moaned, oh yes baby yes.

But it was walking the little streets of the Quarter, weaving through festive New Year's crowds of tourists and natives in beads, sequins, and feathers, that he is happiest, holding her hand and being a couple. I'm going to drop all my women, he talk her, all my negotiations. I'm going to tell them all I'm in love with you.

I can't ask you to do that she says. I can't be that to you.

That's why I asked when I did.

They wander into Congo Square and the milling New Year's Eve crowds are left behind in the Quarter proper. The Square is quiet and fittingly somber with thick willows draped over it like dignified sentinels. The enslaved used to come here to do their sacred dances, she told him, you can still feel the history here. They are sitting beneath a sprawling elder. It is a comfortable moment. Until she says, if I do leave my husband, it doesn't mean I will get married again.

He ignores the heart beating in his chest and asks why not.

Why would I, she says, fingering beads she has acc.u.mulated. Been there done that.

He blinks. Pulls off a silver mask. Maintains cool. He knows she resents her husband. Sees marriage as an unescapable trap. I dont read books written by men she once told him. She rarely speaks about her marriage but the conjureman always listening. Dude got oldschool ways. She had to wait till he left the country to sneaklearn how to drive. But Highjohn ain't much better. Always been the boss. a.s.sume any woman he with to adjust herself to him. His work. His way. But to be with her he has had to adjust himself to her rhythms and it has been a revelation. He been thinking optimal scenario: Angel leaves husband Angel marries him they live happy ever after. But no. He will be dancing forever. Her husband has forgotten the steps and no longer hears the music. Most likely never did. De conjureman he open she armored heart with ma.s.sive doses of unconditional affection.

If I were to come with you, you won't always love me like this.

There is nothing I would not do to keep you happy. Nothing I would not be.

Both sincerity and intensity speak to her and they spend the night wrapped in the pa.s.sionate moment. Lying face to face in a moment of acute satisfaction, he says, I am jealous of him. Of your husband.

In a twenty-year marriage, she says, theres not a lot of s.e.x left.

Well that's good, he thinks, but not what he's jealous of. It's the rest he wants. I'm jealous of him snuggling up with you before you go to bed. Wiping your brow when you fevered. That burn you got taking that apple pie out of the oven. Hurried breakfast before rus.h.i.+ng out to your jobs.

I'm the only one rus.h.i.+ng out. He takes a deep breath. Well he said, is he going to get a job. Or are you going to keep supporting him. No, he's not she said. I'm going to keep working. He pushes it. That's okay with you? No, it's not, she said, I want a chance, too. She turns her back to him and his fingers trace the k.n.o.bs of her spine like a blind man finding his way. You aren't a gardener, she said, but it's like two plants and over the years their roots are twisted up together and one is suffering but if you try to break up the roots you might destroy them both.

You deserve more than that, he finally gets out. f.u.c.king pimp.

She s.h.i.+fts, sits up. My husband is a good man. And you dont know him. You dont know what it is about him that keeps me with him. In his own way my husband is good to me.

If he is that good to you, he thinks, you wouldn't be here with me. But what he says is I'm sorry. I knew what I was doing when I said it. I know you did she said and turns on the bedside lamp. Thats when she leaned over him. Asked what happens when the dream dies. Told him he had to leave.

Cool. Since I have known her I have been braced to be fired. Okay baby, he said, New Year rising up wild around them. I will officially quit chasing you. This time I will make it stick. Can you, she asked. Can you quit.

When he got back to Memphis he disappeared into the leafy sanctuary of the park.

A letter finds him. Postmarked New Orleans. He sitting on the landing of steps that run up the side of house. There is a hurricane building in the Gulf and Memphis is braced for the fringe. It is the deep breath quiet before a delta storm and dont nothing move, not a leaf not a wind, and the world waiting still like a mountain's heart. He put he roots down he open he letter. She thinks they should just be friends. Says she doesn't think hes ready for a real commitment. Real life. Real world. Says she is not a real woman to him. Say she wont be no mans fancy. Says he has control issues. Too fond of headgames. And finally, she says, I am committed to somebody else and am unable to give you the love and attention you need. Can you, she asks. Can you really quit.

Well. At least I'm a free man again. The old Highjohn that I know and love. Tired of being a beggar anyway. A f.u.c.king supplicant. I don't need her. I am free of her spell.

Then the delta wind come moaning and around him trees bow low and sing homage. Windsong whistling in great gusts through the trees s.h.i.+ft he roots ever so faintly and lift he dreads in a whipping halo. Branches brush against the walls of his aerie in aboral symphony, and the sky opens wide and the rains they come. Stormbringer raises his head to the cooling spray.

Conjureman can't help but be amused. Thought he would bring so much magic down into her life she would never consider leaving him and instead brought the magic into his own. Called himself hoodooing and got hoodooed.

He handle he roots, he begin he story. One that will make the world as he wants it to be. One in which he dreams come true and he soul be saved. One that would be rest for the weary.

FROM Church Folk.

BY MICHELE ANDREA BOWEN.

After a week of emotionally charged revival preaching, Theophilus was too spent to race straight back to the arms-and the demands-of his Memphis congregation. He was tired and hungry, and he needed some time alone. So he was glad to see 32 West off of Highway 55, the exit for Charleston, Mississippi, where he knew of a place to stay, Neese's Boarding House for Negroes. He had also heard about a place there, Pompey's Rib Joint, which had the best rib tip sandwiches around-not to mention being known for hosting some of the best blues artists in the region.