Before You Know Kindness Part 30

"Yes, indeed," he said. He rose, surprised by the sharp ache he felt in his left wrist, and he wondered if he had overworked his left hand and arm today with his physical therapist. Fortunately, it only seemed to hurt when he bent it, and so he didn't antic.i.p.ate any problems bringing their new dog across town. He glanced at his watch. It was barely twenty past three. Catherine and Charlotte were still at school, and would be for another two hours because rehearsals this week were lasting till almost five thirty. a.s.suming there were no last-minute hitches at the shelter, he and Tanya would be waiting to surprise them in the living room when they walked in the front door.

THE PLAN WAS SIMPLE, especially since they would be taking a taxi from the humane society to the apartment. Spencer would walk the dog to and from the cab, and Randy would carry the paperwork, the ratty pillow Tanya loved, and the goody bag with plastic dog toys the shelter was giving them. especially since they would be taking a taxi from the humane society to the apartment. Spencer would walk the dog to and from the cab, and Randy would carry the paperwork, the ratty pillow Tanya loved, and the goody bag with plastic dog toys the shelter was giving them.

Unfortunately, Tanya wasn't real happy about the serpentine cab ride through Central Park. Twice she fell against Spencer in such a fas.h.i.+on that the first time he fell forward and cut the palm of his left hand against a jagged edge of the half-open ashtray that was built into the back of the front pa.s.senger seat, and the second time he bounced against his right shoulder and cried out in agony-which, in turn, caused the poor dog to dive onto the floor of the cab where she cowered for the remainder of the ride. By the time they arrived at West Eighty-fifth Street, his pants were speckled with drops of his blood, he was on the verge of vomiting in the back of a New York City cab for the second time in the month, and the dog was whimpering at his feet.

Then when Spencer pushed open the door with his left hand, the leash wrapped carefully around his wrist, Tanya made a sudden leap for daylight. Spencer had no right arm to brace his fall, and so he was pulled down onto his knees on the sidewalk, his s.h.i.+ns cracking so hard into the curb by the cab that he feared for an instant he'd broken both his legs. Still, even that pain was nothing compared to the excruciating, lights-flickering torture he was experiencing in his shoulder as a result of falling atop his right arm.

"f.u.c.k!" he hissed into the pavement. "f.u.c.k, f.u.c.k, f.u.c.k!" He rarely swore, but this seemed an occasion on which it made little sense to bother stifling a profound and much needed desire to vent. The only good news was that he had managed to hang on to the leash, and so Tanya-though straining hard-was still with them. He had a vision of her racing down the sidewalk, dragging her leash, until someone or something spooked her and she ran into the street, where a delivery truck slammed into her and sent her cartwheeling through the air to her death.

Randy raced around the other side of the cab and knelt before the dog, stroking her behind her ears and murmuring that she was okay, she was going to love her new home, and she wouldn't have to ride in any big, bad cars for a long, long time. She didn't, he noticed, make any effort to see if he, too, was going to be all right, but he guessed that an animal was always going to get more sympathy than a human from Randy Mitch.e.l.l. She did, after all, work for FERAL.

He slowly climbed up onto his knees, glancing briefly at the dirt and tiny pebbles that were lodged in the stinging cuts in his hand, and turned back toward the taxi. The driver had emerged from the vehicle, and for a moment Spencer was touched: The fellow apparently wanted to see if he was okay, and he felt a small, grateful smile forming on his lips.

"Eight seventy-five," the cabbie said, his voice not exactly menacing, but a far cry from compa.s.sionate. "One of you two owes me eight dollars and seventy-five cents."

Randy put down the pillow and the papers from the shelter and started to rummage inside her purse, and Spencer was about to stop her. But then he stopped himself. He couldn't imagine how he could possibly reach into his pocket for his wallet with a dog's leash wrapped around his one good wrist and his one good hand a b.l.o.o.d.y mess, while every cell in his shoulder and his s.h.i.+ns and his left palm was screaming for mercy. And so he just turned from the cold eyes of the cabdriver to the confused and frightened ones of his dog and tried to compose himself. He could pay Randy back upstairs. She could wash out his hand for him, and-though it would incapacitate him further-cover the gashes and little cuts with gauze. He could change his pants, time-consuming as that little act might be. Or not. These khakis were goners already, so he probably wouldn't bother. Either way, soon he would be inside his home with this dog, a gift for his daughter, and he would fix himself a gin and tonic and Percocet. And then everything would be fine.

Or, at least, as fine as things got these days.

Twenty-nine

Sara watched Nan serving the plump chicken b.r.e.a.s.t.s and the rice, and spooning the boiled peas and carrots from a gold-rimmed china bowl that had probably been in the family since the turn of the twentieth century. She envisioned Nan's grandmother as a young bride ladling creamed onions from it when Theodore Roosevelt had been president.

Nan liked to sit at the head of the long cherry table, surrounded by the different components of the meal: the meat, two vegetables, and the starch. She would have the a.s.sembled family pa.s.s their plates to her one by one, the farthest from her first, and so she was always serving herself last. It was a small ballet.

The New York table was set tonight with the usual elegance-and it was indeed a dramatically different presentation from the chaos that often reigned in New Hamps.h.i.+re-despite the fact that the only guests were her son and his family from Vermont. Everyone but Patrick had two pieces of Waterford crystal before them, a claret wine goblet and a water gla.s.s, each with a series of wedge-cut sparkles that resembled a castle's turret. There was sufficient silverware (and it was indeed silver, not stainless steel) bordering the linen place mats to exasperate poor Willow (why Grandmother wanted them each to have two sizes of each utensil was a frequent source of conversation on the drives back to Vermont), and they all had cloth napkins rolled neatly inside personally monogrammed silver rings. Even Patrick had a napkin ring now with his initials.

"Spencer is not going to join you tomorrow," Nan was saying. "I don't know what his plans are exactly, but Catherine said he's not going to the Cloisters."

"Yes, she told me he'll be at his office," John said.

"He's being quite pigheaded," Nan continued, her exasperation evident in even the set of her mouth.

"He's angry," Sara said, offering Patrick some applesauce. "And he believes he's punis.h.i.+ng John."

"He's punis.h.i.+ng the whole family. Think of how much fun you'd have at that festival tomorrow if you were all there together-like the old days!"

"Mother, Spencer was never the life of the party!"

"No," Nan said, "of course he wasn't. But his absence will be a damper, precisely because we will all know why he's not there. And the same goes for this Sunday. I want to take my granddaughters someplace special for their birthdays, and this...spat-"

"Call it a feud," John said, his voice edged with sardonic resignation. "This const.i.tutes a feud, not a spat."

"Fine, then. This feud feud is complicating everything. What is Spencer going to do, mope the whole time you're here?" is complicating everything. What is Spencer going to do, mope the whole time you're here?"

"He'll be working, Mother. It's how he deals with adversity. He'll do whatever it is that he can right now, whether it's writing a speech or telling the French not to eat foie gras or planning that nightmarish press conference," John said.

"Dad?" It was Willow.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"You're not going to the press conference because it's not till Tuesday. Right?"

"I'm not going to the press conference because I don't want to be there. Even if we happened to be in town for some reason, I wouldn't be going. You don't actually want to go, do you?"

"You will most a.s.suredly not be at that press conference," Nan said to her granddaughter. "And neither will your cousin."

"No, Nan, of course they won't," Sara told her mother-in-law.

"And I don't want to go," Willow said. "I was just wondering: Will the people at the press conference have to take an oath?"

Sara studied her daughter intently. Though the child was only a week and a half shy of eleven, she looked tiny. Small, pet.i.te. A pipsqueak. She was smart and she was articulate and she was wise beyond her years...but she was still a pipsqueak.

"No," John said, answering slowly and carefully, "they won't. The press conference is not simply to announce that your uncle is suing a gun company. It's also about propaganda. Your uncle and whomever else FERAL has up there won't be lying, but they are going to offer an extremely selective compilation of the facts. It's very different from a deposition. I certainly don't want to romanticize the law, but the purpose of a deposition is to reconstruct history and learn as precisely as we can what actually occurred."

"Which is why they make you take an oath," Willow murmured. She picked up the bigger of her two forks, and started pus.h.i.+ng the rice around on her plate.

"Which is why they make you take an oath," her husband repeated abstractedly. He seemed only to have half-heard the melancholy in their daughter's voice. Sara wondered what he was thinking-what both her husband and her daughter were thinking-but sensed that she shouldn't ask either right now.

CATHERINE STOOD for a long moment, the plastic bags full of groceries dangling like weights at the ends of both of her arms. She watched her daughter drop her knapsack and the grocery bag she was carrying onto the rug just inside the front door and run across the living room toward her father. He looked insane right now, a complete madman. His hair was a mess, there were bloodstains all over the legs of his trousers, and his one good hand was swaddled in white hospital tape and gauze. But he was sitting serenely in the easy chair by the fireplace as if he were hosting for a long moment, the plastic bags full of groceries dangling like weights at the ends of both of her arms. She watched her daughter drop her knapsack and the grocery bag she was carrying onto the rug just inside the front door and run across the living room toward her father. He looked insane right now, a complete madman. His hair was a mess, there were bloodstains all over the legs of his trousers, and his one good hand was swaddled in white hospital tape and gauze. But he was sitting serenely in the easy chair by the fireplace as if he were hosting Masterpiece Theatre, Masterpiece Theatre, his legs crossed, cradling a drink in his working fingers. And perched attentively by his feet was a dog, an animal that looked a bit like a collie but was considerably smaller. It started to shrink at Charlotte's imminent approach, but then it figured out this human meant it no harm and began to sniff the child energetically. Then it started to lick Charlotte's face, practically painting her cheeks with its tongue. his legs crossed, cradling a drink in his working fingers. And perched attentively by his feet was a dog, an animal that looked a bit like a collie but was considerably smaller. It started to shrink at Charlotte's imminent approach, but then it figured out this human meant it no harm and began to sniff the child energetically. Then it started to lick Charlotte's face, practically painting her cheeks with its tongue.

Though a small part of Catherine was holding out the feeble hope that the animal belonged to someone at FERAL and it was only going to be a weekend guest at their home-though even that would have demonstrated, in her opinion, a colossal indifference on her husband's part to the amount of work she already was doing as well as to the feelings of their two cats-she knew instinctively that this was supposed to be a keeper. And so despite the reality that she understood she was about to say exactly the wrong thing, she put down her plastic bags beside the one Charlotte had been carting and said, her voice a robust combination of pique and disgust, "Where are the cats?"

"And good evening to you, too. Welcome home." He raised his gla.s.s in a mock toast.

She saw then that the doorway that led down the hall to their bedrooms was closed. "Are they in our room?" she asked.

"They are."

"What's her name?" Charlotte was asking, the three short syllables merged into one blissful cry. "Does she have one yet? How old is she?"

"Her name is Tanya, and she's two. I got her at the humane society." He put his gla.s.s down on the side table, the tumbler balanced precariously on the coaster because he had failed to center it atop the small wicker mat. Then he labored to his feet, his bandaged palm pressing hard against the armrest of the chair. "She's very good with cats," he said, directing this last statement at his wife. "I watched her with some."

"That may be," Catherine said, "but our cats are not necessarily very good with dogs. And they were here first."

"They'll be okay."

"Are we keeping her?" Charlotte asked, though it was hard to understand precisely what she had said because her face was buried in the thick ruffles of fur that surrounded the dog's collar and neck.

"Yes, of course, we are. Happy birthday."

"She's a birthday present?" the girl asked.

"A belated one, yes. I was going to bring her home next week, but then I decided a Friday was best because this way you can spend more time with her. You won't have to desert her first thing in the morning for school, and you won't be gone until nearly dinner with rehearsals."

"Spencer?"

"Catherine?"

"This weekend will be no better than next week-at least in terms of time. My brother and his family are coming for a visit. Remember? And while you seem to have no interest in seeing them-"

"I can't wait to see Sara and my beautiful niece."

"Fine. My point is that Charlotte is up at the Cloisters and Fort Tryon tomorrow, and my mother is taking the girls to brunch on Sunday, and I'm sure we'll all want to do something tomorrow night. And so I don't know when you think we're going to have the time to bond with this-"

"This weekend. We'll bond this weekend. And next week. And throughout what's left of September and October. We'll be fine. It won't happen overnight. Never does. But, as you can see"-he motioned down at their daughter and the dog-"the two of them seem to be getting along just fine."

"Is she house-trained?"

"She is."

"And who's going to walk her? And feed her? Did you think for one moment about how much work an animal is? How much work it will be for me?"

"No," he said evenly, "I don't think much about animals and their care."

"Spencer!"

"Lighten up, will you? Look, I can walk her-"

"And scoop her p.o.o.p? And-"

"I can walk her, Mom. And I already feed the cats most of the time. I can feed her, too."

"It's not a big deal, Catherine. Really. I didn't bring her home to start a fight. I brought her home because Charlotte has always wanted a dog. I don't want to make your life any harder than...than I've already made it. Okay?"

She wandered over to the dog and knelt beside it, so that she and her daughter were surrounding it. The dog turned her deep eyes toward her and then licked her, too. "I just wish you had talked to me first," she murmured.

"Then it wouldn't have been a surprise," he said.

She took a deep breath to calm herself. She presumed she was angry because she didn't like surprises and because she was indeed fearful about the additional work the dog would demand. Perhaps she was even jealous of the way Spencer had ingratiated his way into their daughter's heart with one dramatic, unexpected gesture. But she wasn't really that worried about the cats. They'd be fine, she guessed.

"How did you bring her home? You must have had help," she said.

"Randy Mitch.e.l.l."

"And your hand? What did you do to your hand?"

Charlotte looked up from Tanya and noticed the bandages and the blood on her father's pants. "Dad, what happened?"

"I cut myself in the cab. On an open ashtray. It's not a big deal."

"Is that how you ruined your pants?"

"More or less."

She looked at her husband's scruffy beard and his pot holders for ears and the way his eyebrows were raised with bemus.e.m.e.nt. "I'd get you a drink," he said to her, "but it would be warm. I still haven't mastered the ice tray." She saw that his gla.s.s had no ice cubes in it. A few days before she had watched him whacking the tray upside down against a kitchen counter, and the ice cubes had indeed slipped out...and then slid like lemmings off the counter and onto the floor. She climbed back to her feet and smiled down at her daughter. Then she kissed her husband and went to retrieve the groceries from the front hall. She wanted to get the perishables into the refrigerator. Once that was done, she would get herself a gin and tonic, too, and some ice for his.

WITH PATRICK SOUND ASLEEP and Willow ensconced in Nan's bedroom, channel-surfing through the seemingly endless array of television stations they didn't have in Vermont, John and Sara took a walk. It was considerably warmer than in Vermont this time of night, and they walked down Lexington as far as Seventy-ninth Street and then back north to Nan's via Park. They needed only sweaters, and John guessed they would have been comfortable in simply their long-sleeved s.h.i.+rts. He hadn't yet told Sara his idea, because he was still playing out the design of it in his mind: If he did and Willow ensconced in Nan's bedroom, channel-surfing through the seemingly endless array of television stations they didn't have in Vermont, John and Sara took a walk. It was considerably warmer than in Vermont this time of night, and they walked down Lexington as far as Seventy-ninth Street and then back north to Nan's via Park. They needed only sweaters, and John guessed they would have been comfortable in simply their long-sleeved s.h.i.+rts. He hadn't yet told Sara his idea, because he was still playing out the design of it in his mind: If he did x, x, what would likely be what would likely be y? y? And what would happen after that? He sensed in any event that it was all just a fantasy. And what would happen after that? He sensed in any event that it was all just a fantasy.

His plan, still only half-formed, was that he would threaten to show up at the press conference on Tuesday, if FERAL went ahead with the event. He would say all of the things about conservation and the understory and the plight of the northern deer herd without a rifle season that would never be addressed in a media show orchestrated by FERAL. The reporters would be all too happy to talk to him since he was, after all, the idiot who had left a loaded rifle in the trunk of his car-a rifle that had shot Spencer McCullough. They didn't have to know that the very thought of holding a gun these days made him nauseous. As he'd told his daughter at dinner, this press conference was about propaganda.

His goal was to convince his brother-in-law that he would be such a disruptive influence that it would not be in the organization's best interest to forge ahead. The problem, of course, was that if he told Spencer his plan beforehand, FERAL could do any number of things. They could tell him they were postponing the press conference indefinitely and then conduct it when he was back in Vermont. Or they could go ahead and hold it as planned but be prepared to refute anything he had to say. He knew they had ama.s.sed small mountains of statistics, and with enough numbers you could convince anybody of anything.

More important, he did not want to undermine Spencer's lawsuit. The man was crippled, for G.o.d's sake: The last thing he wanted to do was decrease the likelihood of an impressive settlement package. He owed owed Spencer that. That alone should preclude him from going on the offensive. Spencer that. That alone should preclude him from going on the offensive.

Sara took his hand and squeezed his fingers. "What's on your mind?" she asked him.

"A lot of things, I guess. The press conference, mostly. I'm somewhat less enamored with the idea of being the sacrificial lamb in this nightmare than I was a few weeks ago."

"Meaning?"

"No one told our niece to start shooting my rifle into the night. In fact, our own daughter specifically told her not to."

She released his hand, and he turned to her. She was staring straight up the avenue as they walked, her arms folded across her chest, nodding ever so slightly. It was, he could see in profile, her therapist's nod, and he couldn't help smiling to himself. "And what are you proposing to do with these feelings?" she asked. "Anything?"

"I'm torn."

"Go ahead."

"I was wondering if I should go to the press conference. Or, to be specific, I was wondering what would happen if I told Spencer this weekend that I would show up at the press conference if he goes ahead with it."

"And the point would be?"

"Talk him out of having it. Convince him that I would cause such chaos with my presence that it wouldn't be worth it to FERAL or to his lawsuit."

"And you would do this...why? So you're not humiliated?"

"So Charlotte and I both are not humiliated. I've spent the last few weeks worrying about this. I've worried about how I will look to Willow. To you. To our friends. I've worried about how Charlotte will deal with the notoriety that will surround her. At dinner tonight it dawned on me that perhaps I don't have to take this lying down. I thought I had to because I owed it to Spencer. But I'm less sure of that now."