Forbidden Knowledge Part 23

5 Famous Journalistic Goofs

That Could Have Been Avoided

There's an old adage in journalism: "If your mother says she loves you, check it out." Here are five instances in which journalists forgot to call someone other than Mom.

_01:: The Amazing Tasaday They lived in caves, wore leaves, used stone tools, and had no word in their language for "enemy." At least that's what Manuel Elizalde Jr., the Philippine government minister who "discovered" them in 1971, said. The "Stone Age" tribe of about 25 was called "the anthropological find of the century," featured on the cover of National Geographic and idealized by media around the world. They were also declared off-limits by Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos. That is, until Marcos was deposed in 1986, and journalists and anthropologists got to revisiting the Tasaday. This time, tribe members had a slightly different story: that they'd been coerced by Elizalde into posing as primitives. While some scientists still insist the Tasaday are unique in some ways, no one claims they're the 21st-century version of the Flintstones, as they were originally hailed.

_02:: A Cooked-Up Tale In journalistic terms, it was a world-cla.s.s "weeper"the story of an eight-year-old heroin addict named Jimmy. In fact, the September 28, 1980, story in the Was.h.i.+ngton Post was so good, magazines and other newspapers reprinted part or all of it. And the mayor of Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C., even ordered city police to find the poor kid. It's no wonder, then, that the reporter, Janet Cooke, won a 1981 Pulitzer Prize. Of course, her spoils proved to be her undoing as well. The publicity quickly raised questions about her background, and it soon became clear she'd fudged the story from her imagination. An embarra.s.sed Post fired Cooke and gave the Pulitzer back. Where to go from here? Cooke took a job as a $6-an-hour department store clerk. But in 1996, she did sell the movie rights to her tale. Presumably it's based on a true story.

_03:: Hitler's Diaries "I've got to have a really serious talk with Eva," read one entry. "She thinks that a man who leads Germany can take as much time as he wants for private matters." According to the German magazine Der Stern, that quote was from Adolf Hitler's secret diaries, and the magazine was willing to fork over 5 million big ones to a guy named Konrad Kujau, for the pages. Supposedly discovered in East Germany, the diaries were authenticated by the eminent British historian Hugh Trevor-Roper, and the London Sunday Times even agreed to buy the reprint rights. But much to everyone's chagrin, the German government revealed the diaries were a rather amateurish fraud. Kujau and the Der Stern reporter who arranged the seven-figure deal went to jail. And in 2004, one of the fake volumes sold for $7,741 at a Berlin auction. Go figure.

Just the Facts SLUMBER BY THE NUMBERS.

60 million: Number of American adults who suffer from inadequate sleep 77: Percentage of American adults who drink coffee on a daily basis 100 billion: Estimated annual loss in dollars because of sleep-deprivation-related problems in the United States 100,000: Number of fatigue-related traffic accidents per year in the United States 65: Percentage of Americans who lose sleep due to stress 32: Percentage who lose sleep due to stress on a weekly basis 18 million: Number of Americans who suffer from sleep apnea 8.6: Average number of hours of sleep Americans got daily in 2000 1: Ranking of Honolulu, Hawaii, in 2003 survey as best U.S. city in which to get a good night's sleep 2: Ranking of Fresno, California, in same survey *

_04:: The Scoop The New York Post will never be confused with the New York Times, at least not by anyone who can read. But the Post had a big scoop on July 6, 2004: Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry had picked Congressman Richard Gephardt as his running mate. Of course it was wrongKerry had picked Senator John Edwards. Trying to manage the damage done, the Post apologized the next day for their error, while the Times gleefully reported that the source of the scoop was none other than Post publisher Rupert Murdoch. Of course, Murdoch hotly denied it. Whoever was to blame, the Post's July 6 edition quickly took its place in history alongside the Chicago Tribune's 1948 "Dewey Beats Truman" headline and was selling for $10 and up on the Internet within days, all of which says something about accuracy being its own reward.

_05:: A Rather Bush Story Well, they looked authentic, unless you looked pretty closely, and CBS didn't. Instead network news anchor Dan Rather reported on September 8, 2004, that CBS had obtained doc.u.ments showing President George W. Bush had received special treatment while in the Texas Air National Guard. And for nearly two weeks, CBS and Rather steadfastly defended the story, despite almost immediate doubts raised about the doc.u.ments and their source. Finally, on September 20, the network cried "uncle" and Rather apologized for airing the story, confessing his staff had failed "to properly scrutinize the doc.u.ments" or properly check out the sources behind them. Subscribers to the "liberal media conspiracy" theory had a field day, and the incident gave the network a black eye. It also left an indelible mark on Rather's long and storied career.

Royal b.u.ms:

5 Laziest Kings of All Time

When you're born with a silver spoon in your mouth, it's no wonder you grow up expecting someone to pull said spoon out, pile it high with delicious food, then put it back where they found it. The following are just a few of the spoiled royals who managed to get away with doing nothing, both for themselves and their doting subjects.

_01:: Louis XIV and His s.h.i.+rt-Sighted Attendants Louis XIV may have gotten a lot done in his life, but he seems to have been profoundly lazy when it came to personal care. According to contemporary accounts, to get up in the morning Louis XIV required the a.s.sistance of literally hundreds of servants and favored courtiers, who helped him bathe, dress, and shave. It was a great honor to hand the king his s.h.i.+rt, and courtiers and sycophants vied with each other for the singular prestige a.s.sociated with forking over the emperor's new clothes.

_02:: Charles II: A Royal Drain on England Charles II is on record as one of the laziest kings to rule Britain. And sure, he played an important role just by showing up, since his restoration to the throne signaled a return to peace and tranquility after a bitter civil war. But once he got there, Charles didn't do much of anything. A contemporary English chronicler, Samuel Pepys, described Charles as "a lazy Prince, no Council, no money, no reputation at home or abroad." Not the best PR. Even worse, a common saying at the time had it that Charles "never said a foolish thing, and never did a wise one." Ironically, the high point of Charles's popularity came when he survived an a.s.sa.s.sination attempt during the "Rye House Plot," named after the place where the would-be a.s.sa.s.sins allegedly wanted to kill him...after a lifetime spent not doing things, not getting killed was Charles's biggest accomplishment.

_03:: Ethelred the Unready With a nickname like "the Unready," old Ethelred's place in history is pretty obvious. The poor royal seemed unable to make any decisions by himself, and generally found it easier to put them off. And sure, this governing-by-procrastination strategy worked just fine when England was at peace, but not so well when it was attacked from abroad, which is exactly what happened in 1009, when Sweyn Forkbeard and his Danish Vikings invaded England. The Danes had given plenty of warning, threatening England for several years, but rather than organize an army to fight them, Ethelred thought it would be less work to just buy them off. Unfortunately, the easy loot only encouraged the Danes, and they demanded successively larger sums. When finally pushed to make a decision, the one Ethelred made proved to be the wrong one. By ordering the slaughter of Danish settlers in 1002, he simply provoked the Danes even further. Truly unready in the end, it's no wonder he was deposed by Sweyn Forkbeard in 1012.

_04:: Sultan Selim II: Lazy Like a Fox Sultan Selim II, "the Drunk," is generally considered one of the most disgracefully lazy rulers of the Ottoman Empire, which is no small accomplishment. But perhaps his indolence was even more noticeable because of the contrast with his father. Selim's pop, Suleyman the Magnificent, ruled from 1520 to 1566 and in that time conquered much of the Middle East and North Africa. His progeny, on the other hand, preferred to spend almost all his time in the harem, never once led his army in a campaign, became an alcoholic, as his nickname suggests, and generally withdrew from all administrative duties. Historians of the Ottoman Empire often mark the beginning of its decline from his completely useless reign.

_05:: Nicholas II and His Royal Ramblings Nicholas II, the last czar of Russia, was a bit slow and didn't care for the tasks of government at all. He did keep a diary through most of his reign, though, and it's remarkable to read how little time he seemed to spend on affairs of state compared with, say, the latest news about his dogs. The journal is filled with entries like "At about 6 my dog s.h.i.+lka whelped 2 puppies whose father was Iman. It caused a lot of fuss in the house." Looking for something deeper? Try this: "I've been hanging pictures upstairs in the new bedroom with green furniture." Or this: "The 3 of us had dinner together at 8:30. We were awfully hungry after our trip and...I stuffed myself in an indecent way." Even more remarkable than his complete lack of competency, after the Russian Revolution of 1917 he spent most of his remaining time happily working in his small garden. That is, until he was shot.

Touch of Evil Were King Kong of normal size, perhaps he wouldn't have been so hyper. Gorillas sleep about 13 hours a night, and sometimes nap during the day as well.

Next Time, Mark It Down:

4 Dates That History Misplaced

From Momma's birthday to the Wilkersons' anniversary to, you know, the time Eadweard Muybridge figured out that horses have all four of their hooves in the air while running, there are just some dates that you know are important...but somehow end up being a little harder to remember.

Touch of Evil "I am apt to believe it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival." John Adams wasn't talking about July 4, though, but July 2, when the Continental Congress first actually declared American independence.

_01:: October 24, 1942: Smithsonian Admits Its Plane Wrong For decades children have been taught that Wilbur and Orville Wright were the first to fly a machine-powered airplane. However, for more than a couple of years the Smithsonian Inst.i.tution thought differently. The fact is, an inventor named Samuel Langley unsuccessfully attempted to fly over the Potomac River in an airplane he'd designed nine days before the Wright bothers made their famous Kitty Hawk flight. A few years later, though, after Langley had pa.s.sed away, a number of his colleagues repaired the crashed plane and displayed it in the Smithsonian as the first manned flying machine. For two decades, a bitter debate ensued with the Wright brothers, who by then had loaned their original aircraft to the Science Museum in London. Finally, on October 24, 1942, the Smithsonian apologized to Orville Wright (Wilbur had died years before) and declared that he and his brother were in fact the first to fly a machine-powered aircraft. With history corrected, Orville donated his airplane to the Smithsonian.

_02:: October 13, 1307: A Terrifying Friday for the Templars While there are tons of stories about how the dreaded Friday the 13th date came about, the one with the most historical significance happened on October 13, 1307. During the previous century, a religious order of warrior monks had sprung up in France to fight in the Crusades. Known for their religious piety and courage in battle, the Knights Templar soon became wealthy and actually served as Europe's first banking system. Meanwhile, the French king Philip IV, needing money to run his kingdom, turned on the Templars after coercing the pope to drop their protected status. Then he craftily sent out secret orders to every bailiff in his kingdom. Under penalty of death, the doc.u.ments were to be opened on October 12 and executed the next day, Friday, October 13. The orders demanded the arrest of any and all Templars and the forfeiture of all their possessions to the king. As a result, over 2,000 Templars were arrested and tortured into making confessions. Interestingly, a couple years later, Jacques de Molay, the Templars' grand master, while being burned at the stake, cursed Philip and the pope, saying that they would both join him in death within the year. They both did!

_03:: June 15, 1878: Muybridge (and a Horse) Invent Motion Pictures The photographer was Eadweard Muybridge and the horse was Abe Edgington. Commissioned by Leland Stanford (the railroad tyc.o.o.n and the cofounder of the university bearing his name), Muybridge was attempting to photograph the horse running in full stride to see whether all four of the horse's hooves left the ground at the same time. Twelve box cameras, fitted with special trip wires, were placed 21 inches apart along the track; the cameras essentially recorded what was too fast for the eye to see. Not only did this prove that horses become airborne while running, but the camera technique became the foundation for motion pictures. Despite a quick run-in with the law (Muybridge was also known for tracking down a journalist and shooting him for allegedly having an affair with his wife and fathering his sonlater ruled a justifiable homicide), Muybridge continued to experiment with motion photography, and even earned the t.i.tle "Father of Motion Pictures."

Lies Your Mother Told You NEW YEAR'S DAY WAS ALWAYS JANUARY 1 The new year begins on January 1, right? It's always been that way. Wrong. In fact, the selection of the date has been a little more like getting everyone to convert to the metric systemsome people love it, but there's plenty of resistance. The Romans traditionally celebrated the beginning of their year on January 1, but the early Christian Church actually thought otherwise. So, in the seventh century, the church decided that one of its major religious festivals should signify the start of the new year, and Christmas was selected. This lasted only until the 12th century in most of Europe. In the ninth century, however, parts of southern Europe had already splintered and began celebrating the new year on March 25, the Feast of the Annunciation. Then, starting in Italy in 1522, the date for New Year's Day reverted back to the Roman date of January 1, but it took almost another 225 years for the majority of European countries to adopt this day. England and its American colonies didn't switch over until 1752. Just think what a computerization mess Y1K would have been.

_04:: March 3, 1879: The Supreme Court Finally Listens to a Woman On March 3, 1879, Belva Ann Lockwood won the right to plead a case before the U.S. Supreme Court, thereby becoming the first woman admitted in the court. The case involved the right of Samuel Lowery, an African American attorney, to practice law. However, this wasn't the first "first" for Ms. Lockwood. After moving to Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C., at the end of the Civil War, Lockwood applied to law school only to be told that, as a woman, her attendance would be an "injurious diversion" to the other students. Eventually she did receive a law degree from National University Law School, but the school refused to award her a diploma. She then wrote to President Grant, the t.i.tular head of the school, telling him to either award her the diploma or take his name off the letterhead. Two weeks later she got her diploma. In 1884, as the candidate for the Equal Rights Party, she became the first female to run for president, receiving 4,000 popular votes (women weren't allowed to vote) and two electoral college votes. Lockwood also may have been the first to foresee the Beltway gridlock as she was frequently seen riding a tricycle through the streets of Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C.

Songs in the Key of Trite:

4 Famous Tunes Stolen from Other Tunes

Ever had a catchy song you just couldn't get out of your head? Well, have you ever taken said song, thrown in a couple of new lyrics, and told everyone it was your own? That's just what these cats did, and it landed them in a boatload of trouble. The following are four cases where imitation was a pretty expensive form of flattery.

_01:: "My Sweet Lord"/ "He's So Fine"

After a pretty successful run with the Beatles, George Harrison recorded his solo alb.u.m All Things Must Pa.s.s in 1970 and released "My Sweet Lord" as its first single. The song quickly became a big hit. The problem was that back in 1962 a group called the Chiffons had recorded a hit song by Ronald Mack in the United States called "He's So Fine." Actually, the problem wasn't just that the Chiffons had released a song, but that the songs sounded pretty much the same. In early 1971, Mack and the Bright Tunes Music Corporation filed suit against Harrison and his American and British music companies. In order to settle the lawsuit, Harrison initially offered to purchase the entire Bright Tunes catalog, but it wasn't agreeable to Bright Tunes. The company countered the suit with a proposal whereby Harrison would surrender the copyright to "My Sweet Lord" and they'd share 50% of the royalties on the song with Harrison. Neither side gave in and the suit went on for years. Finally, the suit was settled with Harrison admitting that he "unknowingly" plagiarized the melody.

_02:: "Ice Ice Baby"/"Under Pressure"

On his 1990 alb.u.m To the Extreme, Vanilla Ice sampled some very identifiable riffs in his. .h.i.t "Ice Ice Baby" from the Queen/David Bowie song "Under Pressure." While it's a pretty common technique to hook audiences and generate sales, the problem was that Ice didn't bother to license the song or give Queen or David Bowie any credit. The alb.u.m's liner notes credit Vanilla Ice and two others as the composers, and while it goes on to thank other artists, there's no mention of either Bowie or Queen. Although the case never went to court, Vanilla Ice was threatened with a lawsuit, which he settled for an undisclosed amount. Interestingly enough, Queen rereleased "Under Pressure" as part of its 1992 Cla.s.sic Queen alb.u.m. The liner notes stated that not only was the song a hit in the U.K., but that in 1990, the ba.s.s and piano were featured again in Vanilla Ice's number one single "Ice Ice Baby."

_03:: "Avalon"/La Tosca Using someone else's musical composition isn't just an epidemic of the rock era. In 1920, the song "Avalon" was introduced to the American public by Al Jolson. Considered a cla.s.sic American love song, it was later recorded in 1937 by the Benny Goodman Quartet and featured in at least five movies. Of course, the music and lyrics are attributed to Vincent Rose and Al Jolson (aka "the Jazz Singer"). And while it wasn't common for Jolson to take credit for many of his. .h.i.t songs, in this case he probably wished he hadn't. Soon after the song was published, the Italian composer Puccini and his publisher filed suit against Jolson, claiming that the melody was plagiarized from the aria "E Lucevan le Stelle" from his opera La Tosca. Puccini won the case and all future royalties. He also received settlement of $25,000, not a small sum for that time.

Touch of Evil While the Beach Boys' "Surfin' USA" seemed like an obvious update of Chuck Berry's "Sweet Little Sixteen," Berry was only credited on the label after initiating a lawsuit.

_04:: Ghostbusters/"I Want a New Drug"

Is the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man the new drug that Huey Lewis & The News were looking for? Say it ain't so! When the movie Ghostbusters came out in 1984, the theme song ("Who You Going to Call?") sounded very much like Lewis's "I Want a New Drug," and Lewis quickly decided he was going to call his lawyer. Understandably, the suit was settled out of court in 1995, and while Ray Parker never admitted that he copied Lewis, he did agree to pay Huey an undisclosed amount. However, the story doesn't end there. In 2001, as part of a VH1: Behind the Music segment, Huey Lewis, in discussing the battle over the Ghostbusters tune said, "They bought it," referring to Parker and the settlement. Of course the segment gave Parker some ammunition of his own, and Parker filed suit against Lewis for violating their agreement, whereby the fact that money had changed hands was never to be made public.

Riot Back At'cha:

5 Delinquent Rock Groups and the

Chaos They Stirred

Just because you're a big-shot, world-famous rock-and-roll band doesn't mean you have the right to play with people's emotions. At least, that's probably what these rock bands' moms told them after they came home stoned (we're talking bruised from having rocks pelted at them, not high on drugs!).

_01:: Guns N' Roses December 6, 2002 The rock group Guns N' Roses had a history of canceling concerts, or just plain deciding not to show up for 'em. On December 6, 2002, however, South Philadelphia fans struck back. When the group didn't arrive as scheduled, the warm-up act continued to play for close to two hours. Understandably, the crowd grew increasingly irritated, and unlike the GNR anthem, they didn't "have a little patience." Tempers quickly moved toward the boiling point when the crowd saw the warm-up group removing their equipment from the stage and nothing was being set up in its place. Unknown to the crowd of 20,000, Guns N' Roses had canceled right before the show because their lead singer, Axl Rose, was "too sick" to perform. No one told the audience, though, and after standing around for even more time, they quickly realized their own "Appet.i.tes for Destruction." Chairs, drinks, and even ceiling tiles were tossed as the crowd went berserk. In fact, it took over 100 police officers to restore order, and while no one was arrested, a number of individuals did require hospital treatment. Interestingly, concert officials denied that there was any trouble and claimed the fans left in an orderly fas.h.i.+on.

_02:: CreedDecember 29, 2002 Some musicians show up at a concert but aren't really there. And while Bob Dylan's been accused of it for years, it was definitely the case with Scott Stapp, the lead singer for Creed, in Rosemont, Illinois. Once onstage, Stapp was so under the influence of alcohol and drugs that he was unable to sing the lyrics to any of the group's songs. On a number of occasions he actually left the stage and didn't return for several minutes. When he did choose to return, he fell to the floor and rolled around in pain; then it appeared like he'd pa.s.sed out. Many angry fans left the arena, but four of them decided to take things into their own hands. By filing a cla.s.s action suit against Creed and their promoters, the fans sought over $2 million in refunds for the 15,000 concertgoers attending that night. The group later apologized for what they called their "most unique" experience and reminded the fans that it's only rock and roll, even if you don't like it.

_03:: Punked in Montreal October 2003 Fans weren't exactly happy when organizers canceled a midweek punk rock show in Montreal in mid-October 2003. After all, the concert attendees had already gathered to hear their bands, Total Chaos and The Exploited, play when they received the bad news. Of course, a different sort of total chaos did eventually show up: police reports indicate that at roughly 8 p.m., when they were informed of the cancellation, hundreds of punk rock concert fans immediately expressed their anger by rioting, smas.h.i.+ng windows, overturning cars, and setting things on fire. In fact, the Canadian press reported that one city block had 24 cars and at least six stores with smashed windows. When things finally calmed down, an unknown number of people had been arrested and two police officers had sustained injuries. The French-language TV channel LCN said that the band had to cancel after Canadian customs officials had barred some members of The Exploited band from entering the country.

_04:: Jefferson Stars.h.i.+p June 17, 1978 The Jefferson Stars.h.i.+p was known for inciting their fans to riot when they did perform at concerts. Unfortunately, things didn't change much when they didn't. In Germany, as part of a European tour, the Stars.h.i.+p was scheduled to play at the Lorelei Amphitheater outside Wiesbaden when Grace Slick (the group's lead singer) allegedly became ill and stated that she wasn't going to perform. Without Slick, the group couldn't go on, and decided to cancel the concert. Of course, the crowd of over 10,000 didn't quite understand. They had, after all, waited for a couple hours, and when the announcement came they erupted. Angry fans started throwing bottles and rocks at the stage, injuring one of the crew. When the crew finally gave up trying to save the band's stuff, the crowd attacked the stage and destroyed over a million dollars' worth of equipment. And whatever wasn't torched was thrown over a cliff into the Rhine! Apparently, the fire could be seen from miles away, and when the fire brigade showed up they were pelted with bricks and forced to flee the scene. As for the police, they never did show up.

_05:: Hot Fun in the Summer Sun July 21, 1973 The city of Milwaukee runs an annual 11-day festival called Summerfest. And in the summer of 1971, Sly and the Family Stone caused a riot among the 100,000 fans in attendance when they failed to show up on time (something they were known for doing). Essentially, the old pattern of a crowd getting rowdy and police making numerous arrests occurred. Unfortunately for the Summerfest, though, lightning did strike twice. On July 21, 1973, the group Humble Pie failed to show up on time and the large crowd went even crazier, this time throwing bottles and cans, torching food tents, and stealing barrels of beer. The crowd then set bonfires using chairs and fences as the fuel. And then they took their show on the road, going over to a nearby circus, beating up two workers, and swinging on the trapezes. In the end, police managed to clear the area using nightsticks and tear gas, though seven officers were injured in the event, and damages totaled in the thousands.

Born Retired:

4 Famous Figures Who Never Held (Real)

Day Jobs

What do these dictators, witty writers, spiritual leaders, terrorists, and philosophers all have in common? Well, there's one thing they didn't have: a job.