The Big Drum Part 22

SIR RANDLE.

[_Rolling his head from side to side._] Oh! Oh, dear; oh, dear!

LADY FILSON.

[_Wearily._] Oh, dear!

SIR RANDLE.

_How_ we are pestered, Lady Filson and I!

LADY FILSON.

Terrible!

SIR RANDLE.

No peace! No peace!

LADY FILSON.

Or privacy.

WESTRIP.

[_Producing a note-book from his pocket._] They will attend here any morning convenient to you and Lady Filson, Sir Randle. It won't take ten minutes.

SIR RANDLE.

[_To_ LADY FILSON, _resignedly._] Winnie----?

LADY FILSON.

[_Entering the appointment on a tablet._] Tuesday at eleven.

SIR RANDLE.

[_To_ WESTRIP.] Remind me.

WESTRIP.

[_Writing in his note-book._] Yes, Sir Randle.

SIR RANDLE.

And advise Madame de Chaumie and Mr. Bertram, with my love, of the appointment. Her ladys.h.i.+p and I will be photographed with our children grouped round us.

WESTRIP.

[_To_ SIR RANDLE.] Then there's the telegram from the _Daily Monitor_, Sir Randle----

SIR RANDLE.

[_Puffing himself out._] Ah, yes! The editor solicits my views upon--what is the subject of the discussion which is being carried on in his admirable journal, Mr. Westrip?----

WESTRIP.

"Should Women Marry under Thirty?"

SIR RANDLE.

H'm! [_Musingly._] Should Women Marry under Thirty? [_To_ WESTRIP.]

Reply paid?

WESTRIP.

Forty-eight words.

SIR RANDLE.

[_Rising and strolling across to_ LADY FILSON, _as if seeking for inspiration._] Should Women Marry under Thirty? [_Humming._] H'm, h'm, h'm--! [_To_ LADY FILSON.] Winnie----?

LADY FILSON.

[_Looking up at him._] I was considerably under thirty when _we_ married, Randle.

SIR RANDLE.

[_Triumphantly._] Ha! [_Chuckling._] Ho, ho, ho! Capital! Ho, ho, ho!

[_Patting_ LADY FILSON_'s shoulder._] Clever! Clever! [_To_ WESTRIP, _grandly._] There we have my response to the inquiry, Mr. Westrip.

[_Closing his eyes again._] Sir Randle Filson's views are best expressed by the statement that Lady Filson was considerably under thirty when she did him the honour of--er--becoming his wife.

WESTRIP.

Excellent, sir.

SIR RANDLE.

[_Opening his eyes._] Pray amplify that in graceful language, Mr.

Westrip--restricting yourself to forty-eight words--[_He breaks off, interrupted by the appearance of_ OTTOLINE _at the glazed door._] Ah, my darling!

OTTOLINE.

Good morning, Dad. [_To_ WESTRIP.] Good morning.

WESTRIP.

[_Shyly._] Good morning.