The Big Drum Part 54

DUNNING.

[_Taking off his gloves and overcoat--to_ PHILIP.] D'ye mind if I slip my coat off, Mr. Mackworth?

PHILIP.

[_Growling._] No.

DUNNING.

Don't want to get overheated, and catch the flue. I've got Mrs. D. in bed with a bad cold, as it is.

BERTRAM.

[_To_ DUNNING.] Now then, Mr. Dunning! I'll trouble you to give us an account of your operations in this business from the outset----

DUNNING.

[_Hanging his coat over the back of the chair._] Pleasure.

BERTRAM.

The business of Mr. Mackworth's new book, I mean t'say.

DUNNING.

[_Sitting and placing his hat on the floor._] Pleasure.

BERTRAM.

Middle of October, wasn't it, when I----?

DUNNING.

Later. [_Producing a dog's-eared little memorandum-book and turning its leaves with a moistened thumb._] Here we are--the twenty-fourth. [_To everybody, referring to his notes as he proceeds--glibly._] Mr. Filson called on me and Mr. Sillitoe, ladies and gentlemen, on the twenty-fourth of last month with reference to a book by Mr. P.

Mackworth--"The Big Drum"--published September the second, and drew our attention to the advertis.e.m.e.nts of Mr. Mackworth's publisher--Mr.

Clifford t.i.tterton, of Charles Street, Adelphi--relating to the same.

Mr. F. having made us acquainted with the special circ.u.mstances of the case, and furnished us with his reasons for doubting t.i.tterton's flowery statements, [_wetting his thumb again and turning to the next leaf of his note-book_] on the following day, the twenty-fifth, I purchased a copy of the said book at Messrs. Blake and Hodgson's in the Strand, Mr. Hodgson himself informing me in the course of conversation that, as far as his firm was concerned, the book wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. [_Repeating the thumb process._] I then proceeded to pump one of the gals--er--to interrogate one of the a.s.sistants--at a circulating library Mrs. D. subscribes to, with a similar result.

[_Turning to the next leaf._] My next step----

SIR RANDLE.

I wonder whether these elaborate preliminaries----?

BERTRAM.

Oh, don't interrupt, father! I mean to _say_----!

DUNNING.

[_Imperturbably._] My next step was to place the book in the hands of a lady whose liter'y judgment is a great deal sounder than mine _or_ Mr.

Sillitoe's--I allude to Mrs. D.--and her report was that, though amusing in parts, she didn't see anything in it to set the Thames on fire.

PHILIP.

[_Laughing in spite of himself._] Ha, ha, ha!

ROOPE.

Ha, ha! [_To_ PHILIP, _with mock sympathy._] Dear excellent friend!

BERTRAM.

[_To_ ROOPE.] Yes, all right, Mr. Roope----!

DUNNING.

[_Turning to the next leaf._] I and Mr. Sillitoe then had another confab--er--consultation with Mr. Filson, and we pointed out to him that it was up to his father and mother to challenge t.i.tterton's a.s.sertions and invite proof of their accuracy.

ROOPE.

[_Quietly._] Obviously!

DUNNING.

Mr. F., however, giving us to understand that he was acting solely on his own, and that he wished the investigation kept from his family, we proposed a different plan----

BERTRAM.

To which I reluctantly a.s.sented.

DUNNING.

To get hold of somebody in t.i.tterton's office--one of his employees, male or female----

LADY FILSON.

[_Shocked._] Oh! Oh, Bertie!

OTTOLINE.

[_Rising, with a gesture of disgust._] Ah----!

SIR RANDLE.

[_To_ BERTRAM.] Really! Really, Bertram----!

[_Seeing_ OTTOLINE _rise,_ PHILIP _also rises and comes to her._