Most Wanted - Case Of The Mesmerizing Boss Part 16

His jaw clenched. His hands curled into fists. Yes, Helen missed her. But not like he did. He wanted to tell her how much, but she acted as if she wouldn't have believed him. Her whole att.i.tude was one of indifference. How, Tess? he thought bitterly. How can you be like this, after what we shared that night?

It didn't help him to remember that her departure had been his idea. He hadn't wanted commitment, he'd told her. But that was before he'd tried to face life without her beside him. He hated going home at night, because Tess wouldn't be in the apartment when he got there. He hated his very life, empty and cold and unsatisfying because she was no longer part of it. His dark eyes caressed her bent head and he sighed. He'd sent her away. Now he couldn't get her back. He didn't know what to do. Had he killed every shred of feeling she'd had for him?

"Don't you want to join us, Dane?" Kit asked when the silence grew tense and prolonged.

"No," he said absently. "I have to get back to work. Tess?"

121 She looked up, wounded by the false tenderness in his deep drawl.

"Yes?"

He searched her drawn face quietly. "Are you all right?" he asked gently. "You look..." He wasn't sure how she looked. Sick.

Worried. "Have you been ill again?"

The color surged back into her cheeks. She averted her face.

"Winter brings on plenty of colds, you know," she replied eva- sively. It hurt her to look at him. She didn't dare do it for long, or everything she felt would rush into her eyes and betray her. She was carrying his child under her heart, and she couldn't tell him. It hurt...!

She gasped as a stab of pain went through her. It was a familiar pain-one she had every time she did a lot of walking just lately- and the reason she'd called the obstetrician's office for an appoint- ment.

"Tess!"

Dane was beside her, kneeling, his hand grasping hers, his dark eyes full of concern. "What is it, little one?" he asked quickly.

"Are you all right?"

"I think I have an ulcer, that's all," she hedged. The touch of his hand was driving her mad, sending waves of helpless pleasure through her body. She lifted her eyes and met his, and the world stopped. Everything stopped. She looked at him and her heart broke in two inside her body.

His face contorted. His eyes were tormented. "Tess," he groaned, his voice as haunted as his eyes.

She took a slow breath and s.h.i.+vered at the need for him that still consumed her. "I'm okay," she whispered. "Really, Dane."

His hand was clutching hers bruisingly. He realized it and loos- ened his grip. Neither of them noticed Kit, who was sipping coffee and trying to be invisible.

"See a doctor, will you?" he asked tightly. "Don't take chances with your health."

"I'll do that," she promised. Her eyes slid to his mouth and she forcefully levered them back up to his. "Are you all right?" she asked softly.

Her voice made him warm all over. His cheeks went ruddy as he 722.

looked at her, and his heart raced. "No," he said huskily. He drew in a sharp breath, fighting down the need to beg her to come back.

"Maybe I miss you, pretty girl," he drawled, his smile faintly mock- ing.

"Maybe beans walk," she returned, smiling back.

His broad shoulders rose and fell. "You could do skip tracing for me, I guess," he murmured reluctantly.

"You've got three skip tracers already," she reminded him, al- though the offer made her tingle. He had to miss her a little, even if he didn't want to.

"I'll fire one," he offered.

She laughed. "No. I'm happy with Mr. Short, Dane," she said after a minute. "It wouldn't work out."

"You could give it a chance," he said slowly, with an expression in his eyes that she couldn't understand.

"The job?" She faltered.

He hesitated. He wanted to say, No, not the job, me. He wanted to ask her to pack a suitcase and move in with him, live with him, sleep with him. Nothing could be as bad as life without her. Perhaps if she cared enough, they could build some kind of marriage even if children were impossible. G.o.d knew, he wanted her enough to risk it. She'd loved him once; he knew she had. There might still be time....

But she laughed suddenly again, hiding her own feelings. "I don't want to come back, thanks all the same," she said, sparing him the embarra.s.sment of knowing she was still hopelessly in love with him.

She didn't want his pity. "I'm very happy, Dane. I like what I'm doing, and Mr. Short even asked me out. Who knows where it might lead?"

Dane's eyes went black, glittery. "Short's in his forties," he said through his teeth. "Too old and too much of a philanderer...!"

"Is that the time?" Kit interrupted, seeing danger signals ahead.

"Gosh, I've got to go, Tess!"

"Yes, I'll be late, too," Tess said, staring pointedly at Dane, who was blocking her exit.

He got to his feet slowly, vibrating with anger. Short, with his Tess! He felt like hitting something.

123 Tess got to her feet slowly and clasped her bag while Kit left the tip. "It was nice to see you," she said hesitantly.

Dane didn't speak. He looked at her blindly, anger in every line of his tall, fit body. All at once, he frowned. His eyes went over her like hands and the scowl grew worse.

"You've gained weight, haven't you?" he asked suddenly.

"A little." She avoided his piercing gaze. "Too many dough- nuts."

"No. No, it suits you," he said hesitantly.

She bit her lower lip almost hard enough to draw blood. She wanted to tell him. It was killing her not to tell him. She had no idea how he'd react, and it would probably be a bad thing, with the problems she'd been having. But it was his right to know. Com- mitted, she raised her eyes to his and opened her mouth to speak.

But before she could form a word, a pa.s.serby recognized him and stepped forward, hand out, grinning.

"Dane La.s.siter! I thought it was you!" the man said enthusias- tically.

While Dane was fielding his acquaintance's greeting, Tess darted around him and followed Kit out of the restaurant. It had to be fate, she told herself, her heart racing as she realized how close she'd come to blowing her cover. She shouldn't tell him yet. Not until she'd seen the doctor. After she found out what was wrong, she could make decisions.

"I'll bet he followed me," Kit mused as they went to their re- spective cars. "He isn't a private detective for nothing. He misses you, Tess. A blind person could see it."

"Missing and loving are two different things," she sighed.

"He had to have cared a little bit. After all, it took two for you to be in that condition," the other girl began.

"I seduced him," Tess said, flus.h.i.+ng. "I had some crazy idea that if I could convince him of how deeply I loved him, he might start believing in commitment again. But it didn't work. He couldn't shoot me out of the door fast enough."

"He doesn't look as if he likes having you out the door."

Tess shrugged. "It still isn't enough. I can't go back to work for him. I'd eat my heart out. Especially now, I don't need to be around 124.

him. He isn't stupid. Eventually, my condition will become obvi- ous."

"Forgive me, but it's already getting there. He's bound to find out," Kit said.

"I know. I'll deal with that when I have to. Right now, I have to get back to work. Not a word to Helen," she cautioned.

"Not a word to anybody. You know me better than that." Kit frowned. "Tess, I'd do anything I could to help you. I hope you know you can depend on me."

"I do. You're the only friend I have."

'That works both ways. Keep in close touch, okay? And let me know what the doctor says."

"I will." Tess got into her small foreign car and waved as she started it and drove back to work. She felt unnerved, and she won- dered if it was only because she'd unexpectedly seen Dane. She was uneasy for the rest of the day, without knowing why.

Chapter Nine.

Tess was thirty minutes early for her appointment with Dr. Bos- wick. She hadn't slept or eaten much since the day before. The unexpected pains she'd had in the restaurant had frightened her.

Dane had been beside her, holding her hand, and the pain had dis- sipated much sooner than usual. Mystical, she thought, as if the child had heard its father's voice and had felt compelled to survive. No doctor, she was sure, would subscribe to that theory.

Dr. Boswick was right on schedule, so she didn't have to wait long. But the tests he performed told him something she didn't want to hear. He called her into his office and sat down behind his desk, poring through test results, having had her come back after work to talk to him.

He laid down the open file folder and looked at her over his gla.s.ses. "How badly do you want this baby?" he asked abruptly.

"I know you're single, and not well-to-do, so think carefully before you answer."

She didn't understand what her financial situation had to do with it, but the question was easily answered. "I want him more than Anything in the world," she said simply.

He smiled gently. "I'm glad you put it that way, because you've got some hard times ahead and no guarantees even then." He swung forward in the chair and leaned his hands on the desk, aware of her worried expression. "You have a rather rare condition-one sometimes see in the second or third trimester-where the pla- 726.

centa partially or completely covers the cervix. The placenta stretches, sometimes tears. There can be frequent bleeding and the danger of spontaneous abortion."

''Oh, no!" she ground out.

"It happens to some degree in only about one out of every two hundred pregnancies," he continued. "We found an abnormal place- ment of the placenta in the ultrasound we did earlier. It usually occurs in women who have had multiple pregnancies, and later than this. You're not that far along. Your case is unusual, but this does happen."

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked frantically. "Anything at all?"

"Yes. You can quit your job and stay home until your pregnancy advances sufficiently that we can ascertain whether or not the pla- centa is going to detach itself from the cervix. That will probably be until you deliver-a normal delivery, I hope, but sometimes a C- section is mandatory. In the meantime, you won't be able to do a lot of walking, and working at a job isn't advisable, either. For G.o.d's sake," he added, "don't take aspirin during your pregnancy."

"I'll remember that." Her face felt tight. She had very little in her savings account. She had monthly bills and she needed the job.

But he was telling her that she might sacrifice her child if she didn't stay at home.

"As I said, there are no guarantees. You could still lose the child.

There's another reason that you shouldn't be alone. Later on, there's a potential for ma.s.sive bleeding with this condition. I don't want to frighten you, but you could hemorrhage. If there's any bleeding at all, I want to see you, night or day. That will mean complete bed rest until the bleeding stops. Perhaps hospitalization. You see what I meant when I asked how important this child was to you?"

She nodded, her fingers painfully entwined. "I live alone."

"There's no chance that the father might become involved in the pregnancy?"

She hesitated. Then she shook her head. "He doesn't know."

"He should be told."

"Yes, sir." She wasn't going to tell Dane, but it was easier to agree with the doctor than to argue.

127 "Good girl. You're going to need help. This won't be easy.

Meanwhile, I'll have Bertha set up another appointment. You'll need to come fairly regularly. Don't worry about the bill," he added with a grin. "I trust you for it. We'll work something out. All right?"

"All right." She asked as many questions as she could, finding that knowledge was better than ignorance in such a situation. Then she went home and did what came naturally until her eyes were as red as her nose.

She laid her hand on the slight swell of her stomach and smiled through the tears. "Okay, buster, it's just you and me. I can't do it alone so you're going to have to help me. I want you, little one,"

she added with breathless tenderness. "You don't know how much!

So will you try to stay alive, just for me?"

She laid her head back against the sofa and stared into s.p.a.ce, her mind whirling with possibilities. No walking. No lifting. No strain of any kind. A quiet lifestyle, good food, no stress. That was pus.h.i.+ng it for a single woman with no income, she mused. But she'd manage somehow. Women did, all over the world.

Telling Dane was out of the question, though. Even if he believed the baby was his, it would look as if she expected him to support her. It would mean living with him, letting him a.s.sume full respon- sibility for both of them. She couldn't do that to him. He didn't want commitment, he didn't want marriage. He'd said so forcefully when he'd thrown her out of his life, and she'd gone willingly. This was no time to open old wounds.

Someday, perhaps, she'd tell him, when she was back on her feet and no longer needed help. That way, she could go to him on an independent basis and let him decide if he wanted any part of the child's life.

That decided, she went and made herself a bowl of soup. There were all sorts of agencies to help expectant mothers, she knew.

She'd just have to find one or two.

She quit her job the next day. Mr. Short was stunned. She ex- plained that she had a bleeding ulcer-as good an excuse as any other lie, she thought miserably-and that her doctor had advised her to stop working for a couple of months. He was sympathetic 128.

and insisted on giving her two weeks severance pay, which was very good of him considering that she couldn't give notice and had left him shorthanded. She apologized profusely and went home to her apartment. She'd never felt so scared or alone in her life. Not that the baby wasn't going to be worth all the sacrifices, she a.s.sured herself. The baby would be her whole world!

She spent the next few days getting used to a new routine. She found a part-time job doing telephone sales from the apartment, which brought in a little income. She had enough money to pay the rent for three months, which she did to insure that she wouldn't get thrown out during the first part of her confinement. Since utilities were included in the rent, that was taken care of as well. One of the government agencies provided coupons for milk and cheese, to give the baby enough protein, and she arranged to make regular payments on Dr. Boswick's bill from what she brought in from telephone sales.

Meals were precarious. She made plenty of stews and ca.s.seroles to stretch her food budget, and took her prenatal vitamins regularly.