Is It Just Me? Part 15

Glossary of Terms & Other Words.

Here are some of those terms that you came across in this book that I put together with a bit more definition and suggested usage. I've also added a few extras just for fun.

You probably have a few choice words of your own.

a.s.sHOLIAN: Behavior that could be seen as the renderings of a complete AH. But you are saved by your amateur status. You are human. Behavior that could be seen as the renderings of a complete AH. But you are saved by your amateur status. You are human.

BIG BLOGGER: Allusion to George Orwell's Allusion to George Orwell's 1984, 1984, in which "Big Brother Is Watching You." Now the mysterious surveillance ent.i.ty is the blog. in which "Big Brother Is Watching You." Now the mysterious surveillance ent.i.ty is the blog.

BLOGGARDS: A term blending bloggers and cowards, which, for the ones that hide behind anonymity, are pretty much the same. They are not worth much of your breath, so this nifty combo word keeps it short. A term blending bloggers and cowards, which, for the ones that hide behind anonymity, are pretty much the same. They are not worth much of your breath, so this nifty combo word keeps it short.

BONEHEAD: Having the quality of being a thoughtless pain in the a.s.s. A good subst.i.tute for some of the other, more potentially hurtful things you call people. But then, boneheads are pretty much immune to offense. They don't get it. Having the quality of being a thoughtless pain in the a.s.s. A good subst.i.tute for some of the other, more potentially hurtful things you call people. But then, boneheads are pretty much immune to offense. They don't get it.

BORG: Cyber-species from Cyber-species from Star Trek Star Trek. Borgs are followers, ent.i.ties with a drone mentality against whom there is no resistance.

CRACKBERRY: Addiction to texting and email from your handheld device. Not specific to BlackBerry users. An equal opportunity annoyance. Addiction to texting and email from your handheld device. Not specific to BlackBerry users. An equal opportunity annoyance.

DADHEAD: A dad who is a sidelines jacka.s.s. Generally applied to those at youth sports fields and Little League bleachers, but tends to roam to various venues. Watch for him and his video cam at the next graduation. A dad who is a sidelines jacka.s.s. Generally applied to those at youth sports fields and Little League bleachers, but tends to roam to various venues. Watch for him and his video cam at the next graduation.

DAILY REHAB: The ongoing process of trying to keep moving forward in your life. Hey, we all screw up. Or backslide. Here is where character kicks in and you do your work. Every single day. The ongoing process of trying to keep moving forward in your life. Hey, we all screw up. Or backslide. Here is where character kicks in and you do your work. Every single day.

DIGITAL RAGE, THE: Condition that is the byproduct of the Digital Age. We're antsy, impatient, angry, stressed, and otherwise hot and bothered over being so wired. Condition that is the byproduct of the Digital Age. We're antsy, impatient, angry, stressed, and otherwise hot and bothered over being so wired.

DUDEBAG: An only slightly milder way of calling a guy the word it sounds just like. An only slightly milder way of calling a guy the word it sounds just like.

ELEVATOR EYES: An awkward condition that overcomes people when they get on an elevator with someone else and they can't manage to look at each other. So they look at anything they can find, usually changing floor numbers, with extreme fascination. An awkward condition that overcomes people when they get on an elevator with someone else and they can't manage to look at each other. So they look at anything they can find, usually changing floor numbers, with extreme fascination.

-IAN: Suffix you can add to the end of words to link the user with the condition. For example, a.s.shole becomes a.s.sholian, as in, "Man, that is a.s.sholian behavior." Jacka.s.s becomes jacka.s.sian, and so forth. Suffix you can add to the end of words to link the user with the condition. For example, a.s.shole becomes a.s.sholian, as in, "Man, that is a.s.sholian behavior." Jacka.s.s becomes jacka.s.sian, and so forth.

PEERENT: A parent who tries to be a peer to his children or to their friends. The outcome is generally poor when n.o.body seems to be the adult. A parent who tries to be a peer to his children or to their friends. The outcome is generally poor when n.o.body seems to be the adult.

REALITY CHICK: Woman famous for no discernable reason, except her reality show. Sadly, most aren't that famous. Maybe we're better off that way. Woman famous for no discernable reason, except her reality show. Sadly, most aren't that famous. Maybe we're better off that way.

ROBOPERATOR: Those annoying robot operators that take our calls now instead of live people. Enjoy the perky voice. Dig the corporate smooth jazz on hold. Your wait time is . . . seeming like forever. Those annoying robot operators that take our calls now instead of live people. Enjoy the perky voice. Dig the corporate smooth jazz on hold. Your wait time is . . . seeming like forever.

'ROIDIAN SLICK: Origin is athletes who cheated by using steroids (aka 'roids), but really applies to anyone who cheats his way to glory. Origin is athletes who cheated by using steroids (aka 'roids), but really applies to anyone who cheats his way to glory.

ROLE MORTALS: People we admire and look up to as role models, who are, in reality, all too human. People we admire and look up to as role models, who are, in reality, all too human.

SOCCER MOBS: Soccer moms and dads who foster a mob mentality. They shout rude things and lose control on their kids' soccer sidelines. Related to: DADHEAD, above. Soccer moms and dads who foster a mob mentality. They shout rude things and lose control on their kids' soccer sidelines. Related to: DADHEAD, above.

SOCIAL NETWORK SITE: Those fun places on the Web where everyone sees your personal business. Poster, BEWARE!! Those fun places on the Web where everyone sees your personal business. Poster, BEWARE!!

STEALTH SWEAR: As in, think the curse, don't say it. Gives you the advantage of feeling good without all that pesky fighting after. As in, think the curse, don't say it. Gives you the advantage of feeling good without all that pesky fighting after.

TALIBAN-ESQUE: Any behavior that imposes the beliefs of one person on everyone else. Conversations with the Taliban-esque are impossible. They aren't even conversations. With them, it's my way or no way. Any behavior that imposes the beliefs of one person on everyone else. Conversations with the Taliban-esque are impossible. They aren't even conversations. With them, it's my way or no way.

TEXTATION: The overwhelming urge to text. The overwhelming urge to text.

THE WTF LOOK: The expression that slowly grows on someone's face with the dawning unhappy realization that something bad is in the air. You see this a lot on airplanes and workplace kitchens when stinky food hits the fan. It's a look you don't want to get. The expression that slowly grows on someone's face with the dawning unhappy realization that something bad is in the air. You see this a lot on airplanes and workplace kitchens when stinky food hits the fan. It's a look you don't want to get.

Acknowledgments.

First, I want to acknowledge Tom Straw because without him I would not have been able to have had this done on time.

I want to thank all the folks at Hyperion, including Gretchen Young and Ellen Archer, for taking a chance on this book. I know it may irritate some people and I don't care ( just kidding). I would also like to thank all the folks at WME, especially Cara Stein and Suzanne Gluck. Also, Tom Leonardis, my business partner, and Shannon Schmidt who's in our office. And, I want to thank all the folks who were kind enough to give me things that made them crazy-this is for all of you. Lastly, thanks to my cat, Oliver, who rubbed up against my legs at the right time.

About the Author.

Whoopi Goldberg is the premier comedic actress of our day. She has won a Tony, an Emmy, an Oscar, and a Grammy, as well as two Golden Globes. In 2001 she was awarded the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Whoopi Goldberg has appeared in scores of films, and is a host on ABC's is the premier comedic actress of our day. She has won a Tony, an Emmy, an Oscar, and a Grammy, as well as two Golden Globes. In 2001 she was awarded the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Whoopi Goldberg has appeared in scores of films, and is a host on ABC's The View. The View.

Have you noticed that things aren't as civil as they once were? Or that rudeness is no longer an exception but a lifestyle? Sure you have. All you need to do is set foot outside your door to see that bad manners are taking over everywhere. People are yakking on cell phones in restaurants, even at church. Folks in carpools wear enough cologne to make our eyes bleed. Complete strangers think it's OK to rub a pregnant lady's belly. Pa.s.sengers abuse flight attendants, family outings to the ball park are ruined by rowdy drunks . . . a congressman heckled the President of the United States.

Well, Whoopi Goldberg has noticed all this and more and asked herself, "Is it just me?" Unleas.h.i.+ng her trademark irreverence and humor, her new book of observations takes a funny and excruciatingly honest look at how a loss of civility is messing with the quality of life for all of us.

So if your pet peeve is folks who talk in movie theaters like it was their living room, or if you get bugged by people clipping their nails and performing other personal hygiene next to you on the bus, or if you cringe when "please" and "thank you" get replaced by "gimme" and "huh?" . . . you have found a kindred spirit. Because Whoopi has witnessed the growing disrespect and rudeness in our lives and realized she is not alone. And, as you'll discover in these pages, neither are you.

Also By Whoopi Goldberg

Alice

Book

Whoopi's Big Book of Manners .

SUGAR PLUM BALLERINAS SERIES:.

Sugar Plum Ballerinas: Plum Fantastic Sugar Plum Ballerinas: Toeshoe Trouble Sugar Plum Ballerinas: Perfectly Prima Sugar Plum Ballerinas: Terrible Terrel