Xenocide Part 48

"I can do it, I think," said Jane. "If the s.h.i.+p is small and simple, the cargo almost nothing, the crew as few as possible, then I can hold the pattern of it in my mind. If the voyage is brief, the stay in Outs.p.a.ce very short. As for holding the locations of the start and finish in my mind, that's easy, child's play, I can do it within a millimeter, less. If I slept, I could do it in my sleep. So there's no need for it to endure acceleration or provide extended life support. The stars.h.i.+p can be simple. A sealed environment, places to sit, light, heat. If in fact we can get there and I can hold it all together and bring us back, then we won't be out in s.p.a.ce long enough to use up the oxygen in a small room."

They were all gathered in the Bishop's office to listen to her-- the whole Ribeira family, Jakt's and Valentine's family, the pequenino researchers, several priests and Filhos Filhos, and perhaps a dozen other leaders of the human colony. The Bishop had insisted on having the meeting in his office. "Because it's large enough," he had said, "and because if you're going to go out like Nimrod and hunt before the Lord, if you're going to send a s.h.i.+p like Babel out to heaven to seek the face of G.o.d, then I want to be there to plead with G.o.d to be merciful to you."

"How much of your capacity is left?" Ender asked Jane.

"Not much," she said. "As it is, every computer in the Hundred Worlds will be sluggish while we do it, as I use their memory to hold the pattern."

"I ask, because we want to try to perform an experiment while we're out there."

"Don't waffle about it, Andrew," said Ela. "We want to perform a miracle while we're there. If we get Outside it means that Grego and Olhado are probably right about what it's like out there. And that means that the rules are different. Things can be created just by comprehending the pattern of them. So I want to go. There's a chance that while I'm there, holding the pattern of the recolada virus in my mind, I might be able to create it. I might be able to bring back a virus that can't be made in reals.p.a.ce. Can you take me? Can you hold me there long enough to make the virus?"

"How long is that?" asked Jane.

"It should be instantaneous," said Grego. "The moment we arrive, whatever full patterns we hold in our minds should be created within a period of time too brief for humans to notice. The real time will be taken a.n.a.lyzing to see if, in fact, she's got the virus she wanted. Maybe five minutes."

"Yes," said Jane. "If I can do this at all, I can do it for five minutes."

"The rest of the crew," said Ender.

"The rest of the crew will be you and Miro," said Jane. "And no one else."

Grego protested loudest, but he was not alone.

"I'm a pilot," said Jakt.

"I'm the only pilot of this s.h.i.+p," said Jane. the only pilot of this s.h.i.+p," said Jane.

"Olhado and I thought of it," said Grego.

"Ender and Miro will come because it can't be done safely without them. I dwell within Ender-- where he goes, he carries me with him. Miro, on the other hand, has become so close to me that I think he might be part of the pattern that is myself. I want him there because I may not be whole without him. No one else. I can't have anyone else in the pattern. Ela is the only one beyond these two."

"Then that's the crew," said Ender.

"With no argument," added Mayor Kovano.

"Will the Hive Queen build the s.h.i.+p?" asked Jane.

"She will," said Ender.

"Then I have only one more favor to ask. Ela, if I can give you the five minutes, can you also hold the pattern of another virus in your mind?"

"The virus for Path?" she asked.

"We owe them that, if we can, for the help they gave to us."

"I think so," she said, "or at least the differences between it and the normal descolada. That's all I can possibly hold of anything anything-- the differences."

"And how soon will all this happen?" asked the Mayor.

"However fast the Hive Queen can build the s.h.i.+p," said Jane. "We have only forty-eight days until the Hundred Worlds shut down their ansibles. I will survive that day, we know that now, but it will cripple me. It will take me awhile to relearn all my lost memories, if I ever can. Until that's happened, I can't possibly sustain the pattern of a s.h.i.+p to go Outside."

"The Hive Queen can have a s.h.i.+p as simple as this one built long before then," said Ender. "In a s.h.i.+p so small there's no chance of shuttling all the people and pequeninos off Lusitania before the fleet arrives, let alone before the ansible cut-off keeps Jane from being able to fly the s.h.i.+p. But there'll be time to take new, descolada-free pequenino communities-- a brother, a wife, and many pregnant little mothers-- to a dozen planets and establish them there. Time to take new Hive Queens in their coc.o.o.ns, already fertilized to lay their first few hundred eggs, to a dozen worlds as well. If this works at all, if we don't just sit there like idiots in a cardboard box wis.h.i.+ng we could fly, then we'll come back with peace for this world, freedom from the danger of the descolada, and safe dispersal for the genetic heritage of the other species of ramen here. A week ago, it looked impossible. Now there's hope."

"Gracas a deus," said the Bishop.

Quara laughed.

Everyone looked at her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I was just thinking-- I heard a prayer, not many weeks ago. A prayer to Os Venerados, Grandfather Gusto and Grandmother Cida. That if there wasn't a way to solve the impossible problems facing us, they would pet.i.tion G.o.d to open up the way."

"Not a bad prayer," said the Bishop. "And perhaps G.o.d has granted it."

"I know," said Quara. "That's what I was thinking. What if all this stuff about Outs.p.a.ce and Ins.p.a.ce, what if it was never real before. What if it only came to be true because because of that prayer?" of that prayer?"

"What of it?" asked the Bishop.

"Well, don't you think that would be funny?"

Apparently no one did.

Chapter 16

Voyage

So the humans have their stars.h.i.+p ready now now, while the one you've been building for us is still incomplete. The one they wanted was a box with a door. No propulsion, no life support, no cargo s.p.a.ce. Yours and ours are far more complicated. We haven't slacked, and they'll be ready soon. I'm really not complaining. I wanted Ender's s.h.i.+p to be ready first. It's the one that carries real hope. For us as well. We agree with Ender and his people that the descolada must never be killed here on Lusitania, unless the recolada can somehow be made. But when we send new Hive Queens to other worlds, we'll kill the descolada on the stars.h.i.+p that takes them, so there's no chance of polluting our new home. So that we can live without fear of destruction from this artificial varelse. What you do on your your s.h.i.+p is nothing to us. s.h.i.+p is nothing to us. With any luck, none of this will matter. Their new stars.h.i.+p will find its way Outside, return with the recolada, set you free and us as well, and then the new s.h.i.+p will shuttle us all to as many worlds as we desire. Will it work? The box you made for them? it work? The box you made for them? We know the place where they're going is real; we call our very selves from there. And the bridge we made, the one that Ender calls Jane, is such a pattern as we've never seen before. If it can be done, such a one as that can do it. We We never could. never could. Will you you leave? If the new s.h.i.+p works? leave? If the new s.h.i.+p works? We'll make daughter-queens who'll take my memories with them to other worlds. But we ourselves will stay here. This place where I came forth from my coc.o.o.n, it's my home forever. So you're as rooted here as I am. That's what daughters are for. To go where we will never go, to carry our memory on to places that we'll never see. But we will will see. Won't we? You said the philotic connection would remain. see. Won't we? You said the philotic connection would remain. We were thinking of the voyage across time. We live a long time, we hives, you trees. But our daughters and their daughters will outlive us. Nothing changes that.

Qing-jao listened to them as they laid the choice before her.

"Why should I care what you decide?" she said, when they were finished. "The G.o.ds will laugh at you."

Father shook his head. "No they won't, my daughter, Gloriously Bright. The G.o.ds care nothing more for Path than any other world. The people of Lusitania are on the verge of creating a virus that can free us all. No more rituals, no more bondage to the disorder in our brains. So I ask you again, if we can can do it, should we? It would cause disorder here. w.a.n.g-mu and I have planned how we'll proceed, how we'll announce what we are doing so that people will understand it, so there'll be a chance that the G.o.dspoken won't be slaughtered, but can step down gently from their privileges." do it, should we? It would cause disorder here. w.a.n.g-mu and I have planned how we'll proceed, how we'll announce what we are doing so that people will understand it, so there'll be a chance that the G.o.dspoken won't be slaughtered, but can step down gently from their privileges."

"Privileges are nothing," said Qing-jao. "You taught me that yourself. They're only the people's way of expressing their reverence for the G.o.ds."

"Alas, my daughter, if only I knew that more of the G.o.dspoken shared that humble view of our station. Too many of them think that it's their right to be acquisitive and oppressive, because the G.o.ds speak to them and not to others."

"Then the G.o.ds will punish them. I'm not afraid of your virus."

"But you are, Qing-jao, I see it."

"How can I tell my father that he does not see what he claims to see? I can only say that I must be blind."

"Yes, my Qing-jao, you are. Blind on purpose. Blind to your own heart. Because you tremble even now. You have never been sure that I was wrong. From the time Jane showed us the true nature of the speaking of the G.o.ds, you've been unsure of what was true."

"Then I'm unsure of sunrise. I'm unsure of breath."

"We're all unsure of breath, and the sun stays in its same place, day and night, neither rising nor falling. We are the ones who rise and fall."

"Father, I fear nothing from this virus."

"Then our decision is made. If the Lusitanians can bring us the virus, we'll use it."

Han Fei-tzu got up to leave her room.

But her voice stopped him before he reached the door. "Is this the disguise the punishment of the G.o.ds will take, then?"

"What?" he asked.

"When they punish Path for your iniquity in working against the G.o.ds who have given their mandate to Congress, will they disguise their punishment by making it seem to be a virus that silences them?"

"I wish dogs had torn my tongue out before I taught you to think that way."

"Dogs already are tearing at my heart," Qing-jao answered him. "Father, I beg you, don't do this. Don't let your rebelliousness provoke the G.o.ds into falling silent across the whole face of this world."

"I will will, Qing-jao, so no more daughters or sons have to grow up slaves as you have been. When I think of your face pressed close to the floor, tracing the woodgrain, I want to cut the bodies of those who forced this thing upon you, cut them until their blood makes lines, which I I will gladly trace, to know that they've been punished." will gladly trace, to know that they've been punished."

She wept. "Father, I beg you, don't provoke the G.o.ds."

"More than ever now I'm determined to release the virus, if it comes."

"What can I do to persuade you? If I say nothing, you will do it, and when I speak to beg you, you will do it all the more surely."

"Do you know how you could stop me? You could speak to me as if you knew the speaking of the G.o.ds is the product of a brain disorder, and then, when I know you see the world clear and true, you could persuade me with good arguments that such a swift, complete, and devastating change would be harmful, or whatever other argument you might raise."

"So to persuade my father, I must lie to him?"

"No, my Gloriously Bright. To persuade your father, you must show that you understand the truth."

"I understand the truth," said Qing-jao. "I understand that some enemy has stolen you from me. I understand that all I have left now is the G.o.ds, and Mother who is among them. I beg the G.o.ds to let me die and join her, so I don't have to suffer any more of the pain you cause me, but still they leave me here. I think that means they wish me still to wors.h.i.+p them. Perhaps I'm not yet purified enough. Or perhaps they know that you will soon turn your heart around again, and come to me as you used to, speaking honorably of the G.o.ds and teaching me to be a true servant."

"That will never happen," said Han Fei-tzu.

"Once I thought you could someday be the G.o.d of Path. Now I see that, far from being the protector of this world, you are its darkest enemy."

Han Fei-tzu covered his face and left the room, weeping for his daughter. He could never persuade her as long as she heard the voice of the G.o.ds. But perhaps if they brought the virus, perhaps if the G.o.ds fell silent, she would listen to him then. Perhaps he could win her back to rationality.

They sat in the stars.h.i.+p-- more like two metal bowls, one domed over the other, with a door in the side. Jane's design, faithfully executed by the Hive Queen and her workers, included many instruments on the outside of the s.h.i.+p. But even bristling with sensors it didn't resemble any kind of stars.h.i.+p ever seen before. It was far too small, and there was no visible means of propulsion. The only power that could carry this s.h.i.+p anywhere was the unseeable aiua aiua that Ender carried on board with him. that Ender carried on board with him.

They faced each other in a circle. There were six chairs, because Jane's design allowed for the chance that the s.h.i.+p would be used again, to carry more people from world to world. They had taken every other seat, so they formed a triangle: Ender, Miro, Ela.

The good-byes had all been said. Sisters and brothers, other kin and many friends had come. One, though, was most painful in her absence. Novinha. Ender's wife, Miro's and Ela's mother. She would have no part of this. That was the only real sorrow at the parting.

The rest was all fear and excitement, hope and disbelief. They might be moments away from death. They might be moments away from filling the vials on Ela's lap with the viruses that would mean deliverance on two worlds. They might be the pioneers of a new kind of starflight that would save the species threatened by the M.D. Device.

They might also be three fools who would sit on the ground, in a gra.s.sy field just outside the compound of the human colony on Lusitania, until at last it grew so hot and stuffy inside that they had to emerge. No one waiting there would laugh, of course, but there'd be laughter throughout the town. It would be the laughter of despair. It would mean that there was no escape, no liberty, only more and more fear until death came in one of its many possible guises.

"Are you with us, Jane?" asked Ender.

The voice in his ear was quiet. "While I do this, Ender, I'll have no part of me that I can spare to talk to you."

"So you'll be with us, but mute," said Ender. "How will I know you're there?"

She laughed softly in his ear. "Foolish boy, Ender. If you're still there, I'm still inside you. And if I'm not inside you, you will have no 'there' to be."

Ender imagined himself breaking into a trillion const.i.tuent parts, scattering through chaos. Personal survival depended not only on Jane holding the pattern of the s.h.i.+p, but also on him being able to hold the pattern of his mind and body. Only he had no idea whether his mind was really strong enough to maintain that pattern, once he was where the laws of nature were not in force.

"Ready?" asked Jane.

"She asks if we're ready," said Ender.

Miro was already nodding. Ela bowed her head. Then, after a moment, she crossed herself, took firm hold on the rack of vials on her lap, and nodded.

"If we go and come again, Ela," said Ender, "then this was not not a failure, even if you didn't create the virus that you wanted. If the s.h.i.+p works well, we can return another time. Don't think that everything depends on what you're able to imagine today." a failure, even if you didn't create the virus that you wanted. If the s.h.i.+p works well, we can return another time. Don't think that everything depends on what you're able to imagine today."

She smiled. "I won't be surprised at failure, but I'm also ready for success. My team is ready to release hundreds of bacteria into the world, if I return with the recolada and we can then remove the descolada. It will be chancy, but within fifty years the world will be a self-regulating gaialogy again. I see a vision of deer and cattle in the tall gra.s.s of Lusitania, and eagles in the sky." Then she looked down again at the vials in her lap. "I also said a prayer to the Virgin, for the same Holy Ghost that created G.o.d in her womb to come make life again here in these jars."

"Amen to the prayer," said Ender. "And now, Jane, if you're you're ready, we can go." ready, we can go."

Outside the little stars.h.i.+p, the others waited. What did they expect? That the s.h.i.+p would start to smoke and jiggle? That there would be a thunderclap, a flash of light?

The s.h.i.+p was there. It was there, and still there, unmoving, unchanged. And then it was gone.