Emily The Strange_ The Lost Days Part 27

[Medicine show personnel were freezing in their tracks and staring at us. Just what I'd hoped for.]

R:.

I have had a change of heart. My first challenge was far too destructive. In lieu of moving the last building in Blackrock an inch to the east, I challenge you to a game of Calamity Poker.

[Gun and doll show staff were glancing at one another and laughing nervously.]

A:.

Raven, surely you're having a little joke with me. You would have to endure a terrifying blood ritual to become my honorary relative-and that's just to learn the rules. It takes years to develop the kind of subtle talent you'd need to win a game against ME.

[Just then, umlaut threw open his trailer window and leaned out, yelling at Attikol.]

u: .

Come on, Attikol, we all know you're just broke. Gor, I'll lend you the money myself! Don't act like you're afraid to play her!

[I stared nervously at Jakey's trailer, but it was probably pretty normal for umlaut and Attikol to scream at each other like that...anyway, Jakey's door didn't open.]

R:.

Say you'll play just one game with me, Attikol. I don't have to be your relative to play, do I?

A:.

...No.

R:.

I wouldn't want to be your relative anyway, would I? It might...get in our way...later.

A:.

RAWR! Now you're talking!

R:.

Excellent. Choose your partner and meet us at the El Dungeon in one hour.

A:.

Wait, who will be your partner?

R:.

My a.s.sistant, Earwig, will play with me.

A:.

[Looking extremely pleased.] What a charming idea, my charming charming darling. And the Dealer?

R:.

The mayor of Blackrock has agreed to play that role.

A:.

[Looking like he could not believe his luck.] He's still here? Wonderful. Marvelous. I'll see you, ladies, in one hour.

An hour later Attikol, umlaut, and their crew have just arrived at the El Dungeon. I was standing outside with Schneider, a.s.suring him he should just be an impartial judge, follow the rules, and not interfere-just like Great-Aunt Emma told him in her letter. Anyway, Attikol REALLY made me nervous when he walked up. I guess it was the first time he'd seen the El D. since the beige came off. He came right up close to the wall, touched it, and tried scratching it with a fingernail. My heart was sure beating. But he didn't say anything, just went inside with the others.

I was surprised to see Curls with them, but I was stunned when he sat down next to Attikol at the gaming table. I kind of expected Attikol would knock him out of the chair for that faux pas...but nope, it looks like Curls is going to be Attikol's partner. Am trying to see if he looks pale or anything. You know, from the terrifying blood ritual. Wonder what Attikol is thinking, having Curls be his partner? Ehh, he's probably just trying to look gallant for Raven. Like he's SOOOO not worried he'll win. We will see.

Am scribbling this behind the counter while everyone gets espresso and makes nice-nice with one another. Will have to write more later-things are about to heat up.

Later Game is progressing slowly. Luckily, all eyes are on Attikol and Raven, and no one expects me to care about the outcome of the game. So no one minds that I'm writing madly in my notebook at the gaming table. I have lots of time while Attikol and Schneider discuss historical precedents, relevant contingencies, and the laws and bylaws of Calamity Poker scoring. Am trying not to worry about the fairly inevitable conclusion that we are going to lose this game.

[image]

Am relying on my instincts to get us through this no matter what happens.

OK. The action so far: Schneider called the room to order. Attikol looked a little surprised to find it was Schneider, and not his buddy the former mayor, who was overseeing the game, but what was he going to do about it? And everything pointed to him winning anyway. Since he is the only one of us who has ever actually played the game.

Schneider put my copy of The LeStrande Guide to Calamity Poker The LeStrande Guide to Calamity Poker on the table and announced that today's game would follow the rules of gameplay and scoring as set down in the book. on the table and announced that today's game would follow the rules of gameplay and scoring as set down in the book.

Attikol looked shocked when the book came out, and flipped through it with an expression of disbelief. "Where did this come from?" And then, under his breath: "As far as I knew, MY family wrote the only existing rulebook."

I spoke up. "I, uh, found it in the Dumpster behind the library. Sir."

Attikol laughed. "Fine. These rules are good enough. Showdown style, I presume? How many rounds?"

We all agreed on a 13-round game, which made me feel pretty lucky. Then just as we were about to get down to some serious card playing, Attikol stood up.

He cleared his throat and said to the whole room, "Thank you all for being gathered here today to witness this momentous occasion. As you know, I am here to honor my darling Raven's...request...that I prove my love by besting her and her charming a.s.sistant, Earwig, in a game of Calamity Poker. A game that I take very seriously. Four hundred years ago, my ancestors won their vast riches in a game of Calamity Poker played against a corrupt tribe of magicians, who had been tormenting the local villagers, ruining their crops, killing their cattle, and so on...My n.o.ble forefathers restored honor to the villagers and burned the magicians-all but one treacherous survivor, who stole the secret source of my family's great Mystical Power. After today, I will continue my Destiny to seek and win back that secret source of power...with the lovely Raven at my side. Let us all agree that we will stand by the rulings of our honorable judge and Dealer, Mayor Schneider. Let the game commence!"

My eyes were watering with the strain of not laughing. Hand was cramping with the strain of getting it all down on paper. Most of the audience was yawning. The game commenced.

Calamity Poker, as I learned earlier today from studying The LeStrande Guide The LeStrande Guide, can be played Casual style or Showdown style. Casual style, which the umlaut crew always played, consists of as many rounds as the players feel like playing, with no ultimate winner per se, just a redistribution of wealth. In Showdown style, players agree to a certain number of rounds. The Dealer determines which team wins each round. (In our case, best of 13 rounds would win the Showdown.) Betting during the game determines what the players actually win or lose. If your hand leads the round, you can either take the pot of money, choose some other reward (subject to the Dealer's approval), or stipulate a consequence of the ultimate win-some condition that the losing team would have to accept.

I had handed my camera to one of the fas.h.i.+onistas to get our picture once we started playing. Here it is: [image]

Anyway. Here's how the game has gone so far:

ROUND 1: 1:.

Much tension when it looked like I would actually win the first hand, but then Attikol pointed out a little-known point bonus for the rare combination of suits in his hand, and Schneider agreed. Attikol chose to stipulate a consequence of the ultimate win: If he won, Raven would join the caravan and leave with him.

ROUND 2: 2:.

Attikol's hand was the clear winner. He chose to kiss Raven's hand. Weirdo.