Knight: Over The Edge Part 17

"I'm fine."

I say a little uncomfortably as I stare at the wall by the bathroom. The wall Cole f.u.c.ked me up against yesterday.

"I'm sorry about yesterday in here. I was too rough with you. I got carried away with all the pent up emotions I had..."

"Don't... please don't apologize. I loved every minute of it."

I admit sheepishly. Thinking about the bruises covering my body, my face heats up.

"Did you now?"

He asks a little c.o.c.kiness in his voice.

"Yes," a blush creeps up on my face. "I probably shouldn't have enjoyed it, but I did."

"I'm glad. I would hate to hurt you ever again." His hands come down on my shoulders "I want to do nothing but make you happy."

"We're good," I say breathlessly.

"Good" he leans down placing a soft tender kiss on my lips.

It's a kiss sent straight from heaven for me. He's being so gentle. I don't know how to respond to his gentleness.

"I need to tell you something," I blurt. Oh, s.h.i.+t where did that come from? Am I really going to do this now?

"What is it Kitten? You can tell me anything."

"You should pull up a seat, this may take a little while."

He pulls the other chair in the room up beside mine. I look around the room, I'm nervous. Only delaying what I started.

"Kitten" concern laces his voice.

I need to tell him, I'm worrying him at this point.

"I don't know how to tell you this. Where do I even begin?"

He takes my hand in his, "Start from the beginning."

I take his advice and I start from the beginning. It begins with how hard it was for me to leave him all those years ago. I tell him all about moving out to California, meeting my new friends, joining the sorority. I tell him how I struggled with my feelings for him after he sent me the picture of him with two other girls. Then I tell him about that night. The night I lost it all.

"I lost our baby that night. I had already lost you, and then I lost the one thing I had left of you."

His hand still grasps mine only a bit tighter than before. His face is blank, but the range of emotions flas.h.i.+ng through his eyes tells a different story.

"Why did you keep it from me all this time?" he finally asks.

"At the time I didn't think you cared, or would've thought I was using it as a way to get back with you."

I slump in my chair with defeat.

"I was young and foolish. I know now you would have cared, but back then I didn't."

"I swore everyone who knew to secrecy. The only ones who ever knew the truth were Luke, Rocco and Bruce."

My hands rub up and down my legs nervously.

"Last night I told Julie what happened. I knew it was time to tell you."

"I still don't get why? Why the secrecy?"

"You sent me a text telling me to f.u.c.k off; I honestly didn't think you would care."

"Not care? f.u.c.k!" he exclaims, anger in his tone. "It was my child too, didn't you think I had a right to know."

"Well if I'd carried the baby full term yes, but you hated me so I just tried to leave you alone," I say weakly.

"I'd have come to you."

"Really?"

"Yes Kitten, I love you, even when I was the maddest at you, I still loved you."

I don't know what to say.

"I wish you'd have told me," he says breaking the long silence that stretched between us.

"I'm sorry I didn't but by the time I could have told you it was too late it was already done. I had lost you and I had lost our child," tears stream down my face.

I swipe at them wis.h.i.+ng they would go away. Tears are a sign of weakness. One I rarely let myself have except it seems when I am with Cole. I break down in front of him a lot. I let him past all the barriers that keep others out. That scares the h.e.l.l out of me.

Chapter 17.

Cole Kat just surprised the f.u.c.k out of me. I was going to be a father. She lost our child. She went through it alone, when I should have been there by her side. I'm paralyzed.

I am trying to comprehend that my Kitten was pregnant with our child.

We could have a five-year-old child right now. I try to take in all the reasons she didn't tell me about the miscarriage. While a part of me is p.i.s.sed, there is a part of me who understands too that I f.u.c.ked up by sending that d.a.m.n text that would haunt me for the rest of my life. How do I comfort her? That's what I am unsure of right now. She doesn't say much, but I can see the pain in her eyes.

She is waiting for me to say something to her. What can I say? There are no words for this right now.

"I honestly don't know what to say. I'm p.i.s.sed at you for not telling me. I'm p.i.s.sed at myself for being the reason you didn't tell me. I'm in shock."

The tears in her eyes, rip me to shreds on the inside to know my Kitten is in pain. Pain that I caused.

"It's fine" she sobs.

"Just give me some time to adjust to this news. I want us to talk about it, but I have to process it in my own mind first."

I lean over giving her a kiss. This is our first test and I will prove to her that I can be the man she needs me to be for her.

"I need to go to work Kitten, but if you need me text me, okay? I'll drop everything for you,"

Her head shakes acknowledging she has heard me, but she doesn't make a sound.

"It's okay babe. We'll get through this. We can talk some tonight when we get back to the house okay."

Her haunted eyes look at me. The fear and doubt in them clear. I hate that I did this to her. I'm the reason she doesn't trust me. I pull her up wrapping her in a tight hug. My arm around her waist. Her arms encircle my neck clinging to me for dear life.

"Kitten, it's going to be okay I promise."

I comfort her for a bit longer.

"I'll see you tonight okay?"

I hated to leave her, but I had to get over to the Yard. Pete and I had some things to take care of before the rest of the Circle showed up for the meeting this afternoon. We are on a two-part mission: get Sal Martin, and find the traitor in our midst.

I have been working on my laptop for about an hour when Pete rushes into my office. Since we had arrived at the Yard we had both gone are separate ways to deal with things. Pete's job was to contact Hunter and get all the Intel we could. My job was, well honestly I was checking out ways I could beef up security around Kat. I was useless. Not to mention, my mind kept going back to the fact I lost a child.

"I have some information on Sal for you."

Pete rushes into my office.

"What ya got?"

I ask straightening up in my chair and pus.h.i.+ng the laptop I have been using out of the way.

"Hunter and Luke have been working all morning. Hunter was able to hack into some phones. Mostly lower ranks of the Martin crew. But we have an idea of where Sal is hiding out now."

"Where?"

My interest is peeked.

"He's rumored to be staying a few towns over. In Scottsburg. Locked down tight where he can't be touched. We also confirmed you were the intended target for the hit yesterday."

He sits down across from me as he continues talking.

"The guys involved in the drive by were some of the bottom feeders looking for a way to move up the ranks. Rumor has it Sal is p.i.s.sed they hit Drew and not you."

I sigh, this is not going to be easy. This is going to take careful planning and execution if we want to take care of Sal for good.

"Tell Hunter to keep doing his thing. Get some trusted men on the streets."

I pace over to the window looking over the back lot.

"I want that f.u.c.ker's exact location."

"Hunter's on it."

Pete's voice carries across the room to me. "There is more..."

His words send a chill through me.

"What?"

"There's a hit on Kat."

Rage builds in me. That f.u.c.ker put a hit out on my girl. Something in me snaps. There is going to be no reasoning with me when I get my hands on Sal. He will die by my bare hands. My arm draws back and my fist slams into the wall. A splitting thud is all you hear as my fist breaks through the sheetrock leaving a gaping crumbling hole behind.

"Find him! I want another guard on Kat. Who can we trust?"

I turn to face Pete. He's watching me warily.

"I'll find someone."

"I want a guard on her twenty four seven. She's not to be left unguarded at any time."

"I got it man."

He gets up and heads off to get things rolling.

I slump back in my chair.

Normally I would head over to Knight's Castle to relieve my frustrations, but that wasn't an option right now. I wanted to win my Kitten back and messing with other women would not be the way to do it.

There is so much for Kitten and I to discuss. One, the baby. Two, this s.h.i.+t with Sal, and Three, I had to explain to her about my time at Knight's Castle. She only got a taste of my dominance yesterday.

The pen in my hand taps out a steady rhythm as I think over everything. I grab my cell and send out a text to Kitten. When did I turn into such a p.u.s.s.y? Oh yea, when I fell in love with Katarina Roberts. I love her too much, so much that learning from past mistakes, I may never tell her no again.

I smile as my phone alerts me to a new text I scroll through and open it.

KITTEN: I love you too jerkface!

Setting my phone down it's time to get back to work. I have to be prepared for talking to the Circle this afternoon. The Circle was a small group of my most trusted men. The guys in that circle were, Drew, Justin, Pete, Gary and Steve. This was my Circle just as most of their fathers were my dad's Circle.

The first order of business is finding out who our traitor is because that would be crucial to everything we did from here on out. We would need to know who to feed false information too and who to be honest with. Plus I had to figure out a way for Kat to be involved that would make her happy, but not put her in anymore danger then she already is in.

The Circle gathers in my office at the warehouse. Everyone but Drew attends. We notice his absence more than any other time.