The Little Missis Part 6

"The business, I am sure, is all right, besides if I were pressed I have a little of my own." That morning she had found the key of Ralph's desk in her pocket. It had startled her at the time, for Ralph must have placed it there; and now, taking it from her pocket, she rose, went to the high desk standing in the corner, and unlocking it produced the bank book. She opened it quickly, took one glance and then closed it with a sob. Ralph had drawn the whole of the money out as recently as the previous Monday. She put the book from her with a shudder; it was like the death certificate of her husband's honour.

A paper had fallen out of the desk, and mechanically she stooped to pick it up, praying as she did so for strength to appear calm.

Stephen was watching her closely, a struggle going on in his own heart too.

"Is the account all right?" he asked.

"No," then another sob. Oh, for strength! Why could she not make herself be calm? She looked at the paper in her hand, and more because she thought it might give her time to master her feelings than for anything else, she said, "Can you tell me what all these figures are about?"

Stephen took the paper and looked at it for a long time and then said, in a strained voice, "It is a statement Ralph has drawn out showing exactly how the business stands, with a list of all debtors and creditors. If you could get most of the debts in you would still need three hundred pounds to keep affairs going."

"I cannot tell how it is; everything is so dark."

"But if you will let me help you," he pleaded, "all will come right. I can easily lend you what you need."

For an instant, like a vision, there came to her a feeling of restfulness, and she looked up to his face, bending over her, with eager trustfulness. What a safe strong arm his would be to lean on! But instantly she put the temptation from her; it would not be right to accept his help remembering what Mrs. Colston had said, and the sweet light which had arisen went suddenly out, leaving the darkness deeper than before.

"No," she said firmly, "I cannot accept your help."

"But what will you do?"

"I cannot tell, but in some way G.o.d will help me. And surely Ralph will come back soon!"

"I do not think so."

"Why?" It was Stephen's turn to be silent this time; how could he tell her all he knew? How could he explain how evident it was that Ralph had drained all the money he possibly could from the business?

"Do you know where Ralph is?" she asked suddenly.

"No, I do not."

After another pause Stephen said, "Perhaps I had better leave you now.

When you have had time to think things over, you will trust me more."

A minute ago she would have urged it was not for want of trust, but now her mind, all so confused, could not rid itself of the idea that he knew something about Ralph which he had not told her. When he had gone the idea gave rise to two questions, "What had first made Stephen think Ralph had left her when not even Bessie knew how he had gone away?" and "What had given him the idea Ralph had left her in difficulties when the success of the business had been so widely talked about?" But though she asked the questions over and over again, no answer would come. "Could Stephen have had any share in persuading Ralph to go away? had he tempted him away?" But the remembrance of the tender, true face made such thoughts seem wicked.

Going to the desk for the paper which Stephen had replaced there she took it out to study it for herself, and with it, lying just beneath, she drew out a folded paper, and opening it found it to be--a letter from Ralph! How had it got there? Had Stephen placed it there?--but she was in too much of a hurry to read it to pause to reply.

"MY DEAR WIFE,

"I know this letter will pain you, it cannot help but do so, and for this I am very sorry. I would not willingly grieve you, but it all arises from the painful fact that you have always failed to understand me. You know that for a long time I have had a great desire for a larger sphere. You thought this was because my love to G.o.d had grown cold and the love of the world crept into my heart. I a.s.sured you this was not so, but that it was only a leading into other service. If I can make money and devote it to G.o.d's work, am I not still one of G.o.d's servants? I am now with my face set towards a foreign land, where I hope to win a fortune. I feel no remorse at the step I have taken, since I asked you to agree to emigrate and you would not. I know you will get on pretty well without me, because, if you fail in the business you can return to your father.

The sale of the business will cover all liabilities and more. I shall let you know from time to time how I get on: it will always be a great pleasure to report progress to you. Never doubt but that all I make, which I do not return to G.o.d, I shall hasten home with one day to lay at your feet. Tell my dear children their father heard a call like Abraham did, and has gone out to seek a name and a fortune to enrich them with. I know I have no need to a.s.sure you that I shall always remain,

"Your own faithful, loving husband,

"RALPH WARING."

"P.S.--I did not say 'good-bye' to you for fear you should succeed in persuading me to stay with you. Some day soon, I will send you an address where you can write to, as I shall be anxious to hear how you are getting on."

It was strange, but the reading of that letter gave her the calm she had been struggling to obtain. After reading it a second time, she went out into the garden, named in the summer-time "Suns.h.i.+ne Patch." How long ago that seemed! Where was the suns.h.i.+ne now? But the stars shone down on it if the sun did not, and it was refres.h.i.+ng to feel the cool breezes on her face, and to be alone under the pitying skies.

Now that she had read this letter a burden of uncertainty had gone; she knew now something of what she had to face.

Surely Stephen had not been the bearer of that open letter; it must have been in the desk before! But the very doubt about it made it more easy to resist Stephen's offer.

It was impossible for her to return to her father; how could she burden him with herself and two children when even now he could only just manage comfortably? But how could she get the three hundred pounds Stephen said she would need? She had no earthly friend she could go to and had nothing she could sell or mortgage. But, ah, there was always one source of help she could go to! There was one way still open--the upward way! Sitting down in the desolate little arbour, she buried her face in her hands and prayed, "Dear Lord, I have no one to help me but Thee. Please open up my way! Show me how I can continue the business.

Give me also business ability. Show me my way very clearly. I know Thou art listening to me. I feel sure of it, just as Bessie did. And now I am going to carefully watch for the sign that Thou art going to help me.

Oh, strengthen me; I feel so lonely!" A flood of tears came, but she could let them flow unhindered now.

CHAPTER VI

THE DARKNESS DEEPENS

Early the next morning, as soon as the shutters were down, Phebe was in the shop taking a general look round, and examining the stock. With the help of Reynolds, the shopman who gave her the roses, she got a very good grasp of the state of things. "The stock is very low indeed," said Reynolds; "some things we are out of altogether. It's not my fault, for I told master a fortnight ago, and again last week, but he took no notice--said it was not my business."

[Ill.u.s.tration: "PHEBE WAS IN THE SHOP TAKING A GENERAL LOOK ROUND."]

Phebe only replied, "We must see to these things as soon as possible; thank you for helping me," and then went in to breakfast.

She had got a clear view of the situation as far as the business was concerned, but all else was in a mist. When she tried to a.n.a.lyse her own feelings with regard to Ralph's conduct, what exactly it was that had prompted him to such a course, how it would appear to outsiders, what steps she was to take to secure capital to work the business, all seemed chaos.

Breakfast over, she picked up a little Revised Bible from her book-corner, and went out into the arbour for a few minutes' quiet, hoping she might gain a little light. She had only just bought this Revised Bible, indeed it had not been out long. Opening it at random, her eyes fell on these words, from the prayer of Asa, "We rely on Thee."

A feeling of awe crept over her. Surely an angel must have opened the Book! The sign she had prayed for last night had come. Scanning the page to find out all the story, the leaf was turned over, and then she caught sight of this description: "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect towards Him."

"I must pray for the perfect heart," she said to herself, "and I shall just rely on G.o.d, and I am now going to watch how He will show Himself strong for me. I feel sure He will, for He knows I am relying on Him."

But the angel's work was not over yet. Just then there dropped out of the Bible a little New Year's card which she had never carefully read as yet. Picking it up she looked at it in an absent sort of way, and then feeling that it was in some way specially meant for her she read:

"An inner light, an inner calm, Have they who trust G.o.d's mighty arm, And hearing, do His will."

"For He hath said, 'I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.'

I took it as His word of honour."--David Livingstone.

"And so will I," she said fervently. Just then there was a call from the shop, and all at once, with hardly a moment's warning, she went from the golden gate to the busy mart.

A commercial traveller was waiting to see her, presenting an account for twenty-five pounds.

With all a woman's wits about her she stood where her face was in the shadow. "I am sorry that Mr. Waring is not at home," she answered, "he is out of town. Can the account stand over till your next visit?" Her voice was quite steady. The traveller looked fixedly at her, but was quite unrewarded for his trouble, through her face being in the shadow.

She however saw his uncertainty, but he answered suavely, "Certainly, madam, Mr. Waring's credit has always been good." Then added, after another moment's reflection, "Can I have another order to-day? I have some very cheap lines."

Turning to Reynolds, she said, "You know better than I do what we are wanting; just make a list of what we usually have from this gentleman's firm," and she stood quietly by while this was done.

"I hope Mr. Waring is well," remarked the traveller.