Future Crimes Part 12

"We're leaving."

"How? No funicular for another hour. And you wouldn't want to miss Milo's sterling performance, would you?"

Milo was back on his feet.

"What?"

"Your turn, Milo. Time to put yourself on the line.

You can't just lie back and pa.s.s judgment all your life, you know."

"Who says I can't? I refuse to take part in this puerile exhibition.

The whole thing's absurd."

"Which scene do you prefer?" Gil went on as if the other man hadn't spoken.

"Would you like me to choose for you? How about the get-theetoa-nunnery scene? You can cavort with Ophelia."

"You might as well do it, Milo," Phoebe said with a sigh.

"He's not going to stop this until he's ready."

Milo was pondering.

"One scene? And then you'll stop badgering me?"

"One scene," Gil promised.

"In that case, I must have a proper costume. That black thing you wrapped around Shalimar just won't do."

Gil nodded.

"There's a costume room backstage.

LaB oz

"Hurry it up, will you?" Kimmel said in disgust as he and Shalimar sat back down.

"Keerist."

"He's mad, you know," Milo whispered to LaB oz

"Utterly mad."

LaB oz opened the door to the costume room and watched as Milo selected a broad-brimmed hat with a white plume, hip boots, and a buckle-on sword.

"Don't forget a cape," LaB oz said dryly.

"Oh--right." Milo chose a Dracula cape, black velvet with scarlet silk lining.

"Eyepatch?"

Milo considered.

"No, I don't want to overdo."

His musketeer appearance brought a burst of laughter from the four in the audience.

"Soft you now--the fair Ophelia!" Milo bellowed, demanding silence.

The scene had barely gotten underway when it became clear that Gil had pulled a fast one. The holo production he'd chosen presented the nunnery scene as blatant in its s.e.xual teasing. The b.u.t.ton in Milo's ear was giving him stage directions as well as lines: Grasp your codpiece with both hands. As a result Milo moved through the scene with a perpetually startled look on his face.

His surprise also kept him a consistent few beats behind the set tempo of the scene. Ophelia would react to unsaid lines; then Milo would lunge for her only to find she'd already crossed to the other side of the stage. Not once were hero and heroine in sync. By the end of the scene, Milo was so frustrated that he pulled his sword and ran Ophelia through.

With tears in his eyes from laughing, LaB oz almost missed the cut-off at the end of the scene. Milo tore off his costume and stormed back to his seat in the small auditorium.

"For this comic relief, much thanks," Shalimar said, still laughing.

"So glad you were amused," Milo said through clenched teeth.

Gil stood up.

"Thank you, Milo. That was exactly the break in tension we needed.

And," he faced the others, "I take full credit. I chose the man and the scene. How else could it have worked out? Did you expect him to do it right?"

"Oh, Gil," Phoebe said in irritation.

"Milo doesn't do things at all," Gil plowed on.

"Milo talks. He talks and talks and talks. But if it's action you want, you'd better look elsewhere. He can't be counted on to act even when he sees a man drowning right before his eyes."

All the color had drained out of Milo's face.

"Gil .. . don't. You know I can't swim."

"You could have slipped on a scuba mask and tied a line around your middle. h.e.l.l, you could have yelled for help--you weren't that far from sh.o.r.e.

What were you doing on my father's yawl in the first place?"

"Well, I ran into him at the Yacht Club and he invited me aboard-"You w.a.n.gled an invitation. My father barely knew you. He was so tranked up he didn't know what he was doing. Was he easy to take advantage of, Milo?

And perhaps it was easy to give him a little shove?

Over the side of the boat, maybe?"

"Gill" LaB oz heard the shock in his own voice. He jumped down from the stage.

"Do you know what you just said?"

The others were staring.

"You're accusing Milo of murder?" Shalimar asked incredulously.

Phoebe was on her feet.

"Gil, that's dumb. Milo's no killer. Why would he want to kill your father?"

Gil shrugged.