Yollop Part 6

"Every time I think of all that you robbed me of, I--I--" began Mr.

Smilk, shakily.

"Don't blubber, Ca.s.sius," said Mr. Yollop consolingly. "You see, my dear Alice, Mr. Smilk thinks,--and maintains,--that you did him a dirty trick when you had him turned out into a wicked, dishonest world. He was living on the fat of the land up there in Sing Sing, seeing motion pictures and plays and so forth, without a worry in the world, with union hours and union pay, no one depending--"

"What nonsense are you talking? How could he have union pay in a penitentiary, Crittenden?"

"Don't interrupt me, please. However, I will explain that he was just as well-off at the end of the week as any union laborer is, and no street car fare to pay besides. Free food, fuel, lodging, divorce, music--"

"I forgot to mention baseball," interrupted Mr. Smilk. "And once in awhile an electrocution to break the monotony, to say nothin' of a jail-break every now and then. Say, you'll have to get a move on, Mrs. Champney,--G.o.d, will I ever forget that name!--'cause we're expectin' the police here before long. I've changed my mind about havin' you hold your hands up, Mr. Yollop. You made me telephone for the police to come around and arrest me. Now I'm goin' to make you bind and gag this lady. I can't very well do it myself and keep you covered at the same time, and while I ought to give you a wollop on the jaw, same as you done to me, I ain't goin' to do it. You can scream if you want to, ma'am,--yell 'b.l.o.o.d.y murder', and 'police', and everything. It's all the same to me. Go ahead and--"

"It is not my intention to do anything of the kind," announced the lady haughtily. "But I want to tell you one thing, Crittenden Yollop. If you attempt to gag and bind me, I'll bite and scratch, even if you are my own brother."

Mr. Yollop pondered. "I think, Ca.s.sius, if you don't mind, I'd rather you'd hit me a good sound wollop on the jaw."

"I'll tell you what I'll do," modified Mr. Smilk. "I'll lock you in that closet over there, Mr. Yollop, so's you won't have to watch me rap her over the bean. After I've gone through the apartment, I'll--"

"Would you strike a woman, Ernest Wilson?" cried Mrs. Champney.

"See here, Smilk," said Mr. Yollop, "I cannot allow you to strike my sister. If you so much as lay a finger on her, I'll thrash you within an inch of your life."

"Oh, you will, will you?" sneered Mr. Smilk.

"If you want to go ahead and rob this apartment in a decent, orderly way, all well and good. My sister and I will personally conduct you through,--"

"We will do nothing of the kind," blazed Mrs. Champney.

"I'd like to see you try to thrash me within an inch--"

"And, what's more," went on the lady, "I will see that you go up for twenty years, Ernest Wilson, you degraded, ungrateful wretch."

Smilk's face brightened. He even allowed himself a foxy grin.

"Now you're beginnin' to talk sense," said he.

"Sit down, Ernest, and let me talk quietly to you," said Mrs.

Champney. "I'm sure you don't quite realize what you are doing. You need moral support. You are not naturally a bad man. You--"

"Are you goin' to take them rings off peaceably?" muttered Smilk, a hunted look leaping into his eyes.

"I am not," said she.

"Speak a little louder, both of you," complained Mr. Yollop. "This contraption of mine doesn't seem to catch what you are saying."

"Jiggle it," said Smilk brightly.

"How long ago did you telephone for the police, Crittenden?"

"How long ago was it, Ca.s.sius?"

"Only about an hour. We got plenty of time to finish up before they get here."

"Do you think it will go harder with you, Ca.s.sius, if they find Mrs.

Champney bound and gagged and everything scattered about the floor, and the jewelry in your possession?"

"It might help," said Ca.s.sius. "The trouble is, you never can tell what a d.a.m.n' fool jury will do, 'specially to a guy with a record like mine."

"You had a splendid record up at Sing Sing," announced the lady.

"That's why I had so little trouble--"

"You don't get me," said Ca.s.sius lugubriously. "My record is a bad one. I've been paroled twice. That's bound to influence most any jury against me. Wouldn't surprise me a bit if they recommended clemency, as the sayin' is, and after all that's been done to keep me out of the pen, the judge is likely to up and give me the minimum sentence. No," he went on, "I guess I'll have to rap somebody over the bean. I'd sooner it as you, ma'am, on account of the way you forced me into a life of crime when I was leadin' an honest, happy, carefree--"

"Why, the man's insane, Crittenden,--positively insane. He doesn't know what he's--"

"For G.o.d's sake, don't start anything like that," barked Ca.s.sius.

"That would be the LIMIT!"

"You don't understand, Alice," said Mr. Yollop kindly. "The poor fellow merely wants to have the law enforced. He says it's a crime the way the law is being violated these days. Or words to that effect, eh, Ca.s.sius?"

"Yes, sir. There are more honest, law-abidin' men up in Sing Sing right at this minute than there are in the whole city of New York.

Or words to that effect, as you say, Mr. Yollop. The surest and quickest way to make an honest man of a crook is to send him to the pen. I don't know as I've ever heard of a robbery, or a holdup, or anything like that up there."

"The way he rambles, Crittenden, is proof--"

"It would be just like her to go on the stand and swear I'm batty,"

snarled Ca.s.sius. "I got to do something about it, Mr. Yollop. She's goin' to interfere with the law again, sure as G.o.d made little apples. I can see it comin'. I'm goin' to count three, ma'am. If you don't let Mr. Yollop start to tyin' you up with that m.u.f.fler of his hangin' over there in the closet by the time I've said three, I'm goin' to shoot him. I hate to do it, 'cause he's a fine feller and don't deserve to be shot on account of any darn' fool woman."

"I suppose you know the law provides a very unpleasant penalty for murder," said Mrs. Champney, but her voice quavered disloyally.

"One!" began Ca.s.sius ominously.

"Do you really mean it?" she cried, and glanced frantically over her shoulder at the open closet door.

"Two," replied Ca.s.sius.

"Count slowly," implored Mr. Yollop.

"You--you may tie my hands, Critt--Crittenden,--" chattered the lady.

"You mustn't bite or scratch him," warned Ca.s.sius.

Sixty seconds later, Mrs. Champney stood before the burglar, her wrists securely bound behind her back.

"Will you gag her, or must I?" demanded Ca.s.sius.

"I will give you my word of honor not to scream," faltered the crumpling lady.

"It ain't the screamin' I object to," said Smilk. "It's the talkin'.

You've done too much talkin' already, ma'am. If you hadn't talked so much I wouldn't be here tonight."