The Forgiven Duke Part 23

"Good heavens, Jane. Don't bring that up," Her Grace admonished.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Jane squeezed her hands and then backed up. "We've brought you something borrowed and something blue." She held out two wrapped packages.

Alex smiled, telling Jane with her eyes that she wasn't upset at her for the comment. "That was so kind." She sat in one of her bedchamber chairs and unwrapped the first gift. Inside, on a bed of white velvet, lay two teardrop-shaped earrings with large, blue topaz stones and diamonds surrounding them. Alex could only stare at them for a long moment. "They are amazing."

Jane nodded happily. "They match your eyes and the gems sewn into the dress." Jane handed her the second package.

Her Grace lifted her chin and spoke with pride. "This has belonged to the d.u.c.h.esses of St. Easton for over two centuries. Until you are p.r.o.nounced husband and wife, it is still mine and can be your item borrowed. After today, you will be the d.u.c.h.ess of St. Easton and it will belong to you until your firstborn son marries when you will give it to his wife."

I am about to become the d.u.c.h.ess of St. Easton.

For the first time the impact of what that meant struck her. Her stomach quivered as she took the small package and carefully unwrapped it. There, in a pile of tissue paper, lay the most delicate tiara she'd ever seen. Small and dainty but with hundreds of diamonds mounted on what looked like spun silver. "I can't," Alex said. Just the thought of picking it up made her nervous. What if it snapped in half?

"You must," the dowager insisted. "Let me." She came and took the piece in her gloved hands. There were tiny combs along the edge that she slipped into Alex's hair with practiced ease.

"Alexandria, it's perfect. Come see." Jane took her hand and led her to the mirror.

Alex looked at her reflection, shock and joy and terror warring within her. Was she really about to get married?

They heard bells from afar. "The church bells!" Jane shrieked, eyes bright with panic and laughter.

"Saints preserve us!" Clarissa clapped her hands as if leader of an army. "We have to get her to the church!" They all laughed, Gabriel's mother even cracking a smile.

Alex let the excitement of the day wash over her. Gabriel would be her husband soon!

Her husband.

When she thought back to that simple girl on Holy Island, waiting . . . wis.h.i.+ng her life would hurry up and really begin, praying G.o.d would send her on her own adventures, so much longing, so much hope-well, she'd never in all her daydreaming dreamed of this. She had found love and to a man unfathomable to that girl. She had grown up and found her place in the world. A shot of joy pulsed from her spirit through her soul and then sent tingles through her body.

This was no time to worry about the bad things of the past, nor the mystery that was the future. This was the time to live the moment where all her dreams were coming true.

With that thought, she pushed her worries aside and rushed with her new family from the room.

AFTER WHAT SEEMED HOURS OF being clogged in the horrific crush around the church, the guards Gabriel had insisted accompany them flanking their carriage from every side before and behind, they finally arrived.

Alex stepped from the duke's glossy carriage and walked, guarded all around and so overwhelmed she was numb inside, into Westminster Abby. She was greeted by splendid pages in the duke's royal blue livery, looking like young princes themselves. They bowed and sc.r.a.ped as she pa.s.sed by as if she was already the d.u.c.h.ess. They opened the ma.s.sive doors for her and stood like rigid statues, chins up and looking only forward. Alex nodded her thanks and swept inside.

All of her confidence drained away as she stopped inside the grand, echoing entrance and inhaled. The church was like nothing she'd ever seen-gothic with a rich, ancient air that sent goose b.u.mps up and down her arms. She looked up at the vast, vaulted ceilings that looked like row upon row of stone fans as far as she could see. The ceiling was upheld by fluted columns with ma.s.sive stone bases attached to the pale marble floor. The walls held the paintings of kings and saints, twice her height, and farther down, past the entry and into the main part of the church, were rows of colorful flags.

She peered forward, down the long aisle toward the altar, visible but small from so far away. She looked for Gabriel, noting the people in their best finery and hats seated ahead through the arched entries, but couldn't see him. There were so many people, murmuring people on rows of elegant benches, a thousand faces she didn't know. She felt too small to move . . . too insignificant to be here, too stained with sin to remain standing. She felt the presence of G.o.d in this place.

It took everything in her not to run away or fall on her face and weep. She stood frozen, more afraid than she'd ever been in her life.

"Alexandria, do not even think of fainting."

She turned around to the familiar voice. "Montague!"

A broad smile swept his face and joy shot from his piercing blue eyes. "Come here, child."

His face brought back a deluge of emotions-joy, sorrow for John, his nephew's death. Sorrow for a moment that she couldn't tell him she was pregnant and that they would yet have a part of John with them. Relief-both that she wasn't pregnant and that he was here for her. And love, mostly love, the kind she would feel for a father. If she couldn't have her parents with her, then Montague was the next best thing.

You are so good to me, Lord. Her heart cried out the prayer as she smiled at this man who had been her protector, her friend.

He met her halfway. Her legs wobbled and she had to clutch the heavy skirts up, but she managed to make it to his side and into his arms. He held her for a moment and then pushed back to see her face. His voice was quiet yet strong, echoing across the ceilings of the ancient church. "I've come to walk you down the aisle, if you will have me."

She pressed a hand against her mouth, tears threatening. "How did you know?"

"That you are marrying the duke?"

Alex nodded. "And that I needed you."

"He asked me to come. Well," Montague chuckled, "commanded is the better word for it. Sent a fancy carriage for me loaded with food and drink and ten outriders. As if I needed all of that." He looked at her intently. "Is this what you wish, Alexandria? I thought it might happen this way, but I need to hear it from you. Do you love him?"

"I do." She nodded, missing her parents and yet so glad he was here and she didn't have to do this alone. "But how can you bear to be here . . . after all that's happened? After he . . . shot John?"

Montague gazed deep into her eyes. "How can you bear it . . . after all that's happened . . . after he shot John?"

"I've forgiven him." The words rushed out and she realized it was true. She had forgiven him, more than she'd forgiven herself, for everything that had happened.

"And so have I." Montague's deep voice echoed across the cavernous antechamber. "People say one can forgive but they cannot forget, and yet forgiveness is that very thing-forgetting, trusting again as if it had never occurred, and trusting G.o.d to take care of us when people fail us. That's how G.o.d forgives us, as far as the east is from the west, that's how far He has removed our transgressions from us."

Gabriel loved her. He would be like that. He would understand. When she told him the whole story, he would forgive her too.

Alex kissed Montague's cheek. "Thank you for coming, Montague. I am ready now."

He chuckled and took her arm. With a signal from some unknown person, the notes of an organ swelled into life. Jane hovered behind her, spreading the train of her gown, and then followed after them as Alex began down the long white aisle toward her future.

WAVES OF VIBRATION STARTED UP Gabriel's legs and filled his body with a humming roar.

The organ had begun to play.

He turned, straining to see her down the long aisle, heart pounding with hope that made him feel alive, lighting inside in vibrant white glowing streaks of pure joy. Come to me, my beloved Alexandria. Come and marry me.

When her face came into view, the room filled with colors. Streaking and dancing, shooting across the wide s.p.a.ce and dissolving before he saw the full form of it. The silent room lit up-alive-the air moving and glowing, surrounding and encircling her. He could hardly bear it, it was so powerful. It nearly drove him to his knees.

And then she was beside him.

He leaned close, closed his eyes, and smelled her special lavender water she'd made herself, driving his household to distraction looking for all the ingredients she needed. He inhaled and nearly laughed out loud with the pure joy of it.

She was about to be his forever.

His wife. His other half. His forever on earth.

He opened his eyes and said a silent prayer of fervent thanksgiving. He'd never been so thankful for being who he was and what he had-her. If he'd had to lose his hearing to have her, then it was worth it. As hard as it had been, he would choose this path again and thank G.o.d for it.

He took a deep breath and concentrated on the ceremony. It was practiced. He knew his cues, when to say "I do" and when to recite his vows. He read her sweet pink lips as she recited her vows, the loving, happy look in her eyes melting him inside. They were one now.

He turned at the right moment and met the stares of the people, some friends, some family, some acquaintances, and even a few who thought themselves enemies. He met their stares with a wife beside him and felt that together they would manage anything that came their way.

Together, with G.o.d as their foundation, they were whole.

GABRIEL TOUCHED HER ARM AND Alex jumped.

"Don't be nervous." He leaned over and whispered into her ear, the throng of people his mother had invited to the reception at her town house nearly crus.h.i.+ng them. They hadn't had a single private moment since the ceremony, and her husband seemed to be getting more and more anxious to leave. She'd already begged for a little more time. She'd already eaten and danced and circulated the room, sometimes even leaving him to fend for himself.

Finally, Jane came over and took her hand. "Let's get a bit of air, shall we?"

Alex followed her out to the terrace and breathed in the uncommonly cool summer breeze.

"It was a beautiful ceremony, don't you think?" Alex leaned against a scrolling stone railing.

"The most beautiful I've ever seen." Jane smiled a gentle smile. But there was something in her eyes, some questioning thing that Alex steered away from.

"Alexandria." Jane came closer and her voice lowered. "Please forgive me if I am overstepping, but your mother isn't here and . . . well . . . you seem so nervous. Do you know what to expect tonight?"

Alex shook her head, tears-tears she despised-rus.h.i.+ng to her eyes. She didn't know what to expect.

"Well, no wonder." Jane leaned against the rail with her. She took hold of her hand and squeezed it. "I was afraid too. Poor Matthew. I was practically in hysterics when he came into the room." She laughed in a fond way. "Which makes them more nervous, so try your best to hide that."

"Hide what?"

"Oh, dear. Your nervousness! I'm sure Gabriel knows what he's about. Just . . . trust him."

That sounded very hard indeed.

"I know I'm not really helping, but we'll laugh about this later. Can you believe that?"

She couldn't but she nodded anyway. She'd never had a sister and Jane would be such a wonderful one. She kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Jane, for everything."

Jane squeezed her hand. "Thank you, Alexandria. Gabriel was devastated after he lost his hearing. Having you has given him his life back. You don't realize the change in him. You are such an answer to all our prayers. I'm so happy to have you as a sister."

They hugged.

"Is my wife-?" Gabriel cut off the sentence as he saw them. "We should go."

His features were drawn into a serious look that made Jane laugh and scurry away. He came up to Alex and enveloped her in his arms. "I want to take my wife home. We leave for France in the morning, but we still have tonight."

Alex wondered that he couldn't feel the pounding of her heart against his chest as she clenched her eyes shut, clinging to him, and lifted her face for a kiss.

She kissed him with everything, all the love and pa.s.sion inside her, knowing that soon everything could change.

"We've tarried long enough. Let us go home, beloved," he murmured against her lips.

She took a deep, sudden breath at the endearment. She had never trusted anyone the way she was entrusting this man with her heart. If he stopped loving her she would shatter into a million pieces.

He took her hand firmly in his and led her away.

She pushed down the fears, the tears . . . tried to slow the frantic beating of her heart.

It was time to find out what the d.u.c.h.ess of St. Easton had in store for her future.

Dear Reader, A devastated duke.

A girl of lonely exile.

Both have a path to follow, a heart's desire to find, and choices that could change their lives forever.

Do you ever wonder if you are on that perfect path for your life? Are you "following your pa.s.sion" and "finding your gift?" These popular catch phrases make us stop and ponder our lives and the direction we are going. While there is nothing wrong with that, we must keep in mind Matthew 6:33: "But seek ye first the kingdom of G.o.d, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." This entire chapter in Matthew is amazing! It contains the Lord's Prayer, instructions about our treasure (our gifts and calling), our money, our needs, and the worries over those needs, and then it ends with an exhortation to trust and seek G.o.d for everything. A true blueprint-for-life kind of chapter.

But let's be honest. To really live in that place every day with all the storms and trials, the challenges and distractions? Well, it's only possible with G.o.d's help. And my characters, these wonderful characters who I love as if they were real people, are no different.

My hero-the brilliant Duke of St. Easton-wants his affliction healed and taken away. And he wants love on his terms. He wants his control back even though he was miserable when he had it.

My heroine-sweet, determined Alexandria-wants what she can't have. And she'll stop at nothing when it comes to taking care of her own heart.

Their journey is like ours-that push and pull against G.o.d-the desire to find freedom and purpose on earth but in our timing and our way because His way is too hard or scary or just doesn't make sense.

Dear Reader, join me on this journey with Gabriel and Alexandria as they struggle to come to the end of themselves. I pray we might, too, lift up our lives as a sacrifice, and in that place, come face to face with the living G.o.d.

In Him, Jamie Carie.

Discussion Questions.

1. When Gabriel sees Alexandria with another man putting his arm around her he feels jealousy, fear, and anger. The Bible says that G.o.d is a jealous G.o.d. Stop and imagine how He feels when we let Satan "put an arm around us." Describe a moment in your life when you let this happen or felt this way.

2. Alexandria is already regretting her promise to marry John but she needs him to continue her quest to find her parents and ignores that little voice that tells her to trust G.o.d. Have you ever used someone to gain a desired end? What happened?

3. Gabriel struggles to trust G.o.d when he is taken back to London, desperate to keep Alexandria from marrying the wrong man. Circ.u.mstances make it seem like G.o.d isn't listening and doesn't care. Describe a time in your life when it seemed like G.o.d had abandoned you. How did it turn out?

4. Gabriel loses his hearing and is dealing with life without sound. Have you ever had a devastating change happen to you? How did you handle it?

5. What do you think of the hero or heroine in a story having a disability?

6. What did you think of a story set in Iceland? Did the descriptions help you imagine it?

7. Gabriel experiences intercessory prayer for Alexandria, realizing that he can still guard and protect her from afar through prayer. Have you ever had an intercessory prayer experience? What happened?

8. Alexandria discovers that her mother is deliberately leaving clues for her. Why do you think she would do that? Any ideas what might be coming in book three of the series-A Duke's Promise?

9. John does a terrible thing to Alexandria and her reaction is not as strong as it might be. She also doesn't give herself permission to be angry with her parents for their neglect. Do you or a close family member/friend stuff your feelings? Does it come out later in an explosion or leak out in behaviors or att.i.tudes? What happens and what can you do about it?

10. When Gabriel is beaten G.o.d tells him to sing to endure it. Has G.o.d ever given you a seemingly strange instruction to help you get through something? What happened?

11. Gabriel finally takes Alexandria back to London and to his home but finds he cannot tell her of his affliction. The fear of her rejection is too great. Have you ever feared rejection so much that you were frozen? Have you let opportunities or relations.h.i.+ps pa.s.s you by because of this fear? What happened?