To Infidelity and Back Part 1

To Infidelity and Back.

by Henry F. Lutz.

DEDICATION

To the sacred memory of the pioneers of the great Restoration Movement of the nineteenth century, who forsook the religious a.s.sociations of a lifetime and cheerfully endured poverty, persecution and every hards.h.i.+p in their endeavor to restore Christian union on the primitive gospel, and who held forth a beacon-light that helped me to find the truth in its simplicity as it is in Christ Jesus.

My Soul Struggle in Symbolism

Upon the fly-leaf of my Bible I find the following, which was written shortly after I emerged from the stormy sea of heartrending agony through which I pa.s.sed in my conflict with sectarianism, rationalism, infidelity and doubt. It was not written for the public, but was simply an effort of my soul to express in a measure, through human symbols, the painful experiences through which it pa.s.sed. It will seem extravagant language to those who have never had their souls lacerated by doubt and despair. But the sensitive souls who have endured similar experiences will understand, and it is with the hope of reaching and helping them that it is given to the public.

"A TEN YEARS' JOURNEY

From the childhood land of ignorant innocence to the kingdom of Christ: by way of deserts of negation; mountains of a.s.sumption; rivers of irony, sarcasm and conceit; bays of contention; gulfs of liberalism; and oceans of infidelity, doubt and confusion--swept by undercurrents of selfish pa.s.sion, tempests of blind sentiment, maelstroms of fear and despair; covered with black clouds of prejudice and preconceived ideas, dense fogs of theological speculation, gigantic icebergs of indifference, monstrous sharks of procrastination, and ruinous rocks of materialism; through the strait of darkness and absurdity, over the sea of twilight and joy, into the haven of rest.

"In the s.h.i.+p, religion; pole-star, faith in G.o.d; rudder, free will; compa.s.s, conscience; s.e.xtant, rationalism and experience; anchor, hope; guiding chart, creeds and opinions of men vs. the Word of G.o.d; pilot, Jesus Christ.

"Motto: Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

"Prayer: O G.o.d! thou knowest the secret desire of my heart. Thou knowest how earnestly I have sought the truth. G.o.d forbid that my life should be a barren waste; that I should so use the powers that thou hast given me that the world shall not be better for my having lived in it. Lord, grant I may ever find the work that thou wouldst have me do.

'Search me, O G.o.d, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts, and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Amen."

This, in substance, was my daily prayer for ten long, dreary years; for, while my intellect was in doubt and confusion, my heart continued to cling to G.o.d.

INTRODUCTION

One of the clearest expounders of the Scriptures in my acquaintance is the author of this book, who honors me in asking that I write these few lines of introduction. His experience is full of interest. I have listened night after night with profit to his sermons, and he has dug his way in the most painstaking fas.h.i.+on out of the darkness of unfaith into the beauty and strength of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

There is no inst.i.tution like the church of G.o.d, for it is founded upon the divine Sons.h.i.+p of Jesus, and his Holy Spirit has given to it divine life, so that Isaiah's prophecy lights up the pathway of victory, when it is said: "He will not fail nor be discouraged, till he have set justice in the earth, and the isles shall wait for his law." Its right to advance has been disputed, and, at times in its long history, it appears to have stood timidly doubting its power and right to soul conquest, but this has only been apparent, for every century has brought with it a greater courage, so that in this day believers in Jesus are speaking in the language of every nation on the earth, and hosts of these are as ready to lay down their lives for their faith in Jesus as did Stephen and James and Paul and that host of martyrs whose willing sacrifices gave strength and solidarity to the early church.

The ordinances have naturally suffered at the hands of every invasion, and, in consequence, some of the most devout have not been able to find the path to the ordinances as practiced in the apostolic days, but the skies are brightening, and, without questioning for a moment the sincerity and devotion of those who think otherwise, the Scriptures are being read to-day with more freedom than at any other period in the history of the church, and its ordinances are gradually coming to light in the public mind. G.o.d has been patient with us and we must be patient with those who do not think as we do. One of the most important problems now facing us, however, is that all believers shall find a common way for entrance into the church. When that has been done, a long step will have been taken towards world-wide evangelization.

The fields are already white unto harvest. This is the day of opportunity. Christ is waiting on us. If the time was short, like a furled sail, in Paul's day, how much shorter is it in our day! The gospel has been sent to all nations, and G.o.d is sending men from all nations to America to hear the gospel, so that the lines are crossing and recrossing each other and are so many prophecies of the fulfillment of the commission of Jesus, when he said: "All authority hath been given unto me in heaven and on earth. Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit; teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world."

Deciding for Christ and being baptized into him is only a small part of the work that is to be done. Then begins their training into real disciples.h.i.+p, when they are to produce the fruit of the Spirit, which is "love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control."

This book is a contribution to that end, and may those who read its pages be brought to yield their best to the glory of Him who is our all.

Baltimore, Md. Peter Ainslie.

PREFACE

This book contains my religious experience in a forty years' sojourn on earth. If any doubt the propriety and value of relating one's religious experience, I would refer them to the case of Paul, who used this method on a number of occasions. However, we should be careful not to make an improper use of this method and preach our experiences in place of the gospel. Paul says: "We preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake" (2 Cor. 4:5). We should refer to our experiences simply to help deliver people from human error and center their attention on the gospel of Christ, which alone is the power of G.o.d unto salvation.

I do not take any great credit to myself for my experiences recorded in this book, realizing that they were largely the result of my inherited proclivities and religious environment. It must be admitted that the great ma.s.s of mankind are what they are in religion, politics, etc., by heredity and environment. This is powerfully impressed upon us by the ministers who give their experience in "Why I Am What I Am." Even the fact that it is natural for me to seek to know what is right for myself, I attribute more largely to my natural hereditary mental bent, than to any particular merit of my own. I trust this book will help us all to realize the danger of drifting with traditionary religion, and thus defeating the revealed truth of Jesus Christ, and the need of searching the truth for ourselves that thus we may be used of G.o.d to advance his kingdom of unity and truth. Christian civilization would make much more rapid strides if we all would struggle to find the truth instead of acquiring our ideas through the colored gla.s.ses of prejudice and ignorance.

My ancestry on mother's side were German Reformed and on father's side Lutheran. While a boy I lived for three years with Mennonites and attended their church. I attended a Moravian Sunday-school, was taught by a Presbyterian Sunday-school teacher, educated at a Unitarian theological school, graduated from a Christian college and a Congregational theological seminary, and took postgraduate work at a United Presbyterian university. I was born and raised in southeastern Pennsylvania, which may be called "The Cradle of Religious Liberty" in America. For while the colonies to the north and south persecuted people on account of their religious opinions, Penn opened his settlement to all the religiously persecuted in America and Europe. As a result Pennsylvania became a great sectarian stronghold. To-day some twenty denominations have either their national headquarters or leading national center in southeastern Pennsylvania. The reader can readily see how my contact with this Babel of sectarianism affected my religious life and experience.

There are some things that seem too sacred to drag before the public.

For years I said very little in my public ministry about my experience with doubt. While, as city evangelist of Greater Pittsburg, I was a.s.sisting a minister in a revival, he learned incidentally of my experience with infidelity; and as there were a number of skeptics in the community, he urged me to preach on the subject. The message seemed to do much good to the large audience that heard it. Since then it has been repeated a number of times, and the largest auditoriums have not been able to hold the people who were eager to hear it. This demonstrates that the message supplies a great need, and has encouraged me to prepare this book for the public. The Christian Temple in Baltimore was packed with people, and on account of the jam the doors were ordered closed by the policeman in charge half an hour before time for the service. At Portsmouth, Va., twenty-five hundred were crowded into a skating-rink, and many failed to get admittance. At Halifax, Can., hundreds were turned away. But this has been the experience wherever the sermon has been thoroughly advertised. To ill.u.s.trate this, I quote from the Harrisonburg (Va.) papers of Jan. 9, 1911, where the sermon was delivered the night before in a.s.sembly Hall, the largest auditorium in the city. About sixteen hundred people were jammed in the hall and many crowded out. It was the largest audience that ever a.s.sembled in that city for a religious service.

"Evangelist Lutz says that on every occasion on which he has delivered his address on 'My Conversion from Infidelity,' no matter how large the hall may have been, people have turned away for lack of room. Last night's attendance at a.s.sembly Hall maintained the record. Presumably the hall has never been more closely packed. Seats, stage, box, aisles, windows, doorways, were filled, and many found place in the flies of the theater. A number couldn't find places anywhere and went away. Mr.

Lutz is a fine example of evangelist. He has a magnetic personality and a strong, oratorical way of talking, fluent in speech and filled with figurative language and the phrases of his profession."--_Harrisonburg Daily Times._

"Evangelist H. F. Lutz spoke last night at a.s.sembly Hall on 'The Story of My Conversion from Infidelity.' The audience showed close attention and earnestness. Many were turned away because of the crowded condition of the hall. Many people from the near-town sections came to attend the service."--_Harrisonburg Daily News._

I trust that my bitter experience with rationalism, infidelity and doubt will help to reveal their true nature and thus keep many young men from these dangerous rocks, and will help to deliver many others from this terrible bondage. May the Father graciously bless my humble efforts to win souls to Christ and to help bring about Christian union on the primitive gospel in order to the Christian conquest of the whole world. Henry F. Lutz.

Millersville, Pa., March 28, 1911.

PART I.

TO INFIDELITY AND BACK

CHAPTER I.

To INFIDELITY AND BACK.

_To Christ by Way of Rationalism, Unitarianism and Infidelity._

I inherited on the one hand a strong religious nature, and on the other a tendency to be independent in thought and to question everything before adopting it as a part of my belief. Ever since I can remember I was a praying boy, and early in life there came to me the desire to devote myself to the ministry of the gospel.

Among my earliest religious impressions were those received by having the story of the Patriarchs and Jesus read to me in German by a saintly old Mennonite for whom I worked on the farm for a year. Among the first things that aroused my reason in religion was the declaration of my Sunday-school teacher that before we are born we are predestined by G.o.d either to go to heaven or to h.e.l.l, and that anything we might do would not alter our eternal destiny. This declaration came like a thunderbolt into my religious life, and stirred up a violent agitation from which it took me ten years to fully deliver myself. I was now about fourteen years old, and already had a desire to measure everything in the crucible of logic or cause and effect, and to accept nothing which did not come within the range of my reason. Looking at things from the standpoint of cause and effect, I was naturally caught in the meshes of fatalism, and this aggravated the religious agitation above referred to.

At this time in my life there arose many religious questions, and the answers I received from religious teachers tended to drive me away from the church rather than to it. I feel to-day that if my case had been clearly understood and the nature and the limits of the finite mind had been patiently pointed out to me, in its relation to faith and revelation, I could have been saved years of agony on the sea of rationalism. But my questions were not answered and my honest doubts were rebuked, so that I was naturally driven out of sympathy with the church and Bible, since I judged that my doubts could not be satisfied because religion itself is unreasonable.

Through the kindness of Christian people the way opened to prepare myself for the ministry. But by this time many religious doubts and perplexities were in the way, and I decided that I would a thousand times rather be an honest doubter out of the church and ministry than a hypocrite in it. Thus my fond hope of entering the ministry had to be given up, and instead I determined to use the teaching profession as a stepping-stone to law, and law as a means of serving humanity.

I was very fond of study, and read scores of books on all kinds of subjects. Emerson was my favorite, and I procured and read his complete works. Gibbon and Macaulay were eagerly read as revealing some of the religious life of the world. Ingersoll, with many others, got his turn.

But the book that produced the greatest effect on my life at this time was Fleetwood's "Life of Christ," with a short history of the different religious bodies of the world attached. Through my reading and observations I became greatly perplexed over the religious divisions of the world. I discovered that thousands of people had died as martyrs for all kinds of religions and sects, and that each claimed to have the truth and to teach the right way to heaven. I concluded that since they teach such contradictory doctrines they cannot possibly all be right, although they might all be wrong. I formed a desire to make a thorough study of all the different religious bodies of the world, to find out where the truth is, if there is any in religion. My first information along this line was obtained in the above-named history of the religious bodies of the world. Being of a rationalistic turn of mind, I was naturally very favorably impressed with Unitarianism and its teaching. I sent for a number of their works and read them with great interest. I learned many things that have been a benediction to my life ever since, but you will see later on how far it satisfied my rationalistic proclivities. I learned to my delight that I could enter a Unitarian theological school to prepare for the ministry without first joining a church or signing a creed. For a person in my state of mind nothing better could have presented itself. I determined to go there and make a thorough study of the Bible and all the different religious bodies, and to fearlessly follow the truth wherever it might lead me.

The time came and I entered the school. And a fine school it was from an intellectual standpoint and for the purpose of investigation. I have been a student at six educational inst.i.tutions since I left the high school, but this was far ahead of the others for the development of the logical and philosophical faculties. Here there was absolutely no restraint to thought; and all kinds of systems and ideas were represented, from philosophical anarchy to socialism and from mysticism to materialism. The moral and spiritual earnestness I expected to find among the Unitarians I did not find, especially among the younger and more radical ones. Its effect, on the whole, was to relax rather than intensify the moral fiber. Their ideals seemed so grand and n.o.ble that I thought those possessed with them could scarcely find time to eat and sleep in their zeal to put them into practise; but I discovered that they not only had plenty of time to eat and sleep, but also for dancing, card-playing, theater-going, etc. Many of the young men studying for the ministry often spent a large part of the night in card-playing, and the Sunday-school room served also as a dancing-floor. Unitarians pride themselves upon the high standard of morality among their people and upon the few prisoners you find among their members, but this is due to the character of the people they reach rather than to the restraining influence of their teaching

My reading had given me a wrong impression as to the teaching of Unitarianism. Like many others, I was fascinated and enticed by the writings of conservative Unitarians, whose contention is largely against the bad theology of human creeds; but the present-day teaching of the vanguard of Unitarianism is an entirely different thing. It rejects all the miraculous in the Bible, and, in many cases, even denies the existence of a personal G.o.d. All the students were required to conduct chapel prayers in turn. Those who did not believe in a personal G.o.d explained that they were p.r.o.nouncing an apostrophe to the great impersonal and unknowable force working in the universe. I had read Channing, Clark, Hale, Emerson, and other conservative Unitarians, and found much food for my soul, but I discovered that these were considered old "fogies" and back numbers by most of the students in attendance.