The Hampton Road Club: Hesitant Heart Part 11

"Are you okay like this?"

Sam thought he heard the slightest hint of nervousness in Aaron's voice, but it was most likely due to how fuzzy everything still was in his head. And anyway, he was so much more than okay.

"Mmm...yes. Like it." Sam yawned. "I'm not squas.h.i.+ng you?"

Aaron laughed softly. "Good Lord no. You're comfortable? My bones aren't poking you?"

Squirming some more, Sam adjusted himself until his head rested in the crook of Aaron's neck, his thin chest resting against Aaron's broader one. The soft curls on Aaron's torso didn't tickle him. They only reminded Sam of how much Aaron's body excited him, how his strength and masculinity thrilled him.

"'S'perfect." He was so tired.

"That's good, little Sam. Now sleep."

Aaron draped one arm across his back to hold him and clasped Sam's hand, bringing it to his lips. He kept their fingers intertwined.

Aaron wasn't certain how long they'd slept, but it was dark outside. He could hear the tick of the clock on the nightstand, but he didn't want to twist to check the time in case he disturbed Sam. Sweet, brave Sam.

It was the first time he'd really tested Sam's boundaries, had pushed him so hard. In truth, he hadn't expected him to surrender the way he had. Aaron knew the pain must have been shocking to him, yet he hadn't backed away from it. He'd taken it.

It was also the first time Aaron had ever experienced his own trepidation working with a submissive man and it bothered him. It was vital that he maintain the upper hand or else the man submitting to him wouldn't have the freedom to completely let go. How could he, if Aaron needed rea.s.suring? He knew much of it was because of the deep love he had for Sam. Even though he'd yearned for that type of love for many years, he hadn't been prepared for the enormity of it when it had finally happened.

He gently played his fingers along Sam's back then through his hair. After he eased Sam awake, he would apply more cream to his bruised a.s.s then help prop him up enough in bed so that he could feed him. One thing Aaron appreciated about California was the preponderance of citrus. He had some oranges that he would peel for his Sam. Then he would feed him some cold chicken they had left in the ice box from the night before. He wanted to pamper Sam.

I'd also like to kill his father.

Aaron wasn't an inherently violent man. His proclivities had nothing to do with wanting to cause harm. It was merely an exchange of power between two men, a way for them to meet each other's needs. Once Aaron had accepted his true nature as being perfectly normal he'd become more capable of giving Sam what he needed to be successful as a submissive.

"Sir?"

Sam's voice sounded very small and Aaron had a twinge of concern. Their love, their explorations together were still so new. Even though everything they shared was a revelation to Sam, in many ways it was for Aaron too. He'd never before been in the position where he could dedicate his energies completely to a submissive the way he'd been able to with Sam.

"Yes, I'm here. How do you feel right now?"

There was a pause as if Sam was carefully forming his words. "Fine."

Aaron hugged him. "Truth. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on with you right?"

"I don't want you to think I'm complaining or that I'm mad about what you did to me."

"You are my sweet, loving boy, but I still need to hear the truth. Are you mad about it, mad at me?"

Sam gasped, raising his head from where he'd had it tucked on Aaron's shoulder.

"No! I love you." Sam's voice was still raspy and sleep-tinged.

Aaron jostled him lightly. "You can love me with you all your heart and still be mad at me. That's okay."

"But it's not true."

Aaron placed his hand on Sam's head to encourage him to rest it again. "All right. Then what is true? This was a very heavy session for you, much more than you've ever done. We should talk about it."

"Okay."

"I know the pain was bad, very bad even. Yet you didn't ask for mercy. Why is that? Do you know?"

There was a long pause and even though Aaron was sure that Sam was formulating his thoughts, he wouldn't have been surprised if he'd dozed off again. He still had to be completely drained from what he'd been through.

Sam wiggled then lifted his head again. "I believe you know what's best for me, that you thought it was something I needed." He creased his brow. "And I wanted to make you proud. I wanted to do it for you."

Aaron planted a soft kiss on Sam's lips.

"I was. I am incredibly proud of you. But I want you to understand that you must always ask for mercy if it's too much for you. I won't be disappointed, little Sam."

"Okay."

Sam picked at the curls on his chest. It was something Sam did a lot when they held each other or were talking like they were at the moment. Aaron thought it was quite adorable and he never discouraged or asked him to stop.

"Can I ask you something about it though?"

"Of course. What is it, sweet boy?"

"Something strange happened. It was almost like I floated away and wasn't in my body anymore. It seemed as if when the pain got worse, I felt it even less. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, little Sam. That's why some submissives crave very harsh beatings. They yearn for that feeling. I'm not sure if you are that type of submissive. Even though I'm not a Dominant man who has ever sought out that extreme of a submissive, if we discovered together that that was what you needed, I would give it to you."

"So you think that's what I am? A submissive who craves being beaten very hard?"

"No, not really. But I want you to feel secure in telling me whatever it is that you do need. I will never mock you or tell you that you're wrong for how you feel."

"Okay. Thank you."

Sam plucked at more hairs. He yanked one a little too hard.

Aaron jumped. "Ow."

"Oh no, I'm sorry!"

He couldn't help but chuckle at the distress in Sam's voice.

"Ssh. No harm. I was more surprised than anything."

Sam petted the hairs, as if soothing the hurt.

"So what kind of submissive do you think I am? If I don't like being hit a lot, then why didn't I mind what we just did?"

"I don't want to put any ideas into your head about who you are. That's your own discovery and I'm here to facilitate what you need, to guide and care for you. But I can help you understand what happened today a bit more by telling you that sometimes the pain isn't there just for s.e.xual excitement. Sometimes it's needed to take you out of your body so you can float away and let go of all your worries."

Sam became very still, and he stopped stroking Aaron's chest. At last, he nodded.

"Yes. I understand. And you're right. I'm not that other kind of submissive. But I'm glad we did what we did today. I needed it."

Aaron hugged his boy to him, the bond that had already formed between them becoming even more interwoven.

"I'm glad too, little Sam."

Very glad.

Chapter Ten.

Sam was restless. He hadn't had his morning spanking because his a.s.s was so bruised and tender from the previous day. Aaron had refused to administer it. He couldn't argue with Aaron, so he wasn't sure what he should do. Instead of the spanking, Aaron had ordered him to stand in a new position with his hands clasped behind his head and his feet shoulder length apart. It had also been required that he maintain an erection. He'd made Sam stand in that position for fifteen minutes but at the time, it had seemed to go on for hours.

Every few minutes, Aaron would walk into the bedroom and check his posture, his stance. If he wasn't perfectly straight or his shoulders had sagged or his d.i.c.k had softened, Aaron would lightly tap the offending area with the wooden spoon. The smack on the top of his semi-erect c.o.c.k had done the trick. He'd hardened up immediately.

For what he was sure was the hundredth time that morning, he was up on his toes and twisting around to see the marks on his a.s.s in the bathroom mirror while Aaron was in another part of the house. It wasn't that he needed proof that they were there. He felt them to his bones. He wanted to admire them. Even with the repeated use of the Arnica, the bruises were colorful. He didn't want to be bruised that badly all the time, but he did want to appreciate it when it did occur.

"Little Sam, what are you up to in here?"

Sam squeaked and whipped around to face Aaron. His lover was quiet like a cat-Sam never knew when he might unexpectedly appear. He thought that Aaron probably did it on purpose. Aaron cupped the back of his neck and pulled him in for a few quick swipes in his mouth.

"I know you miss your spanking. Perhaps we can do a light one tomorrow morning. We'll see how you feel."

Sam sighed, nodding happily.

"Good boy. Now, if you wanted to see your marks, you should have asked. No hiding. Is that what you want?"

"Yes, Sir. Please."

Aaron kissed his lips again before taking his hand. There were so many kisses. Sam needed them all the time. He'd waited for a long time to be kissed, and Aaron's seemed as necessary as air to him.

They walked hand in hand to the bedroom where there was a large oval mirror in a free standing mahogany wood frame. Aaron tilted it down a fraction then manipulated Sam's body so that his a.s.s faced it.

"Now can you see better?"

Sam's jaw dropped open. It was much clearer. Most of the splotches were a deep purple-like grapes-and the others were red like strawberries. They covered most of the fleshy part of his backside and he understood much better why it hurt so much to sit down. Fortunately, the majority of the time, he kneeled anyway.

"Let's get you washed up and dressed. I'm taking you to your surprise."

Sam winced before he could stop himself.

Aaron furrowed his brow. "What's wrong?"

He didn't want Aaron to think he was ungrateful, but his a.s.s really hurt.

"Do you think the drive will take very long?"

Still, Aaron stared at him with a questioning expression. Then he raised his eyebrows as if the realization had just hit him.

"Don't fret, little Sam. We won't be driving. We'll walk. And even that's not very far. I don't want you overdoing it yet."

After they'd finished getting ready, they stepped out into what was a nice, sunny day. Most days were like that in Southern California. Sam loved where he'd come from, but it had been a lot cooler up there at times. The skies weren't as clear so often and there wasn't the dry desert air the way it was in Los Angeles.

Sam walked on the sidewalk just behind Aaron the way he'd been taught. He no longer had the clothing he'd arrived with. After Aaron had let him pick out new ones, he'd asked if Aaron would be mad if he threw the old ones away. "Those are yours to do with as you wish. Why is it that you want to throw them away?"

Sam had explained how they were ones his father had made him wear. They'd all had to wear old-fas.h.i.+oned things. Any slight deviance from what his father had judged to be 'normal' was highly frowned upon. So all of Sam's clothes had been made from a scratchy wool and he'd never been allowed to wear a belt or a bow-tie. His father had even forbidden a Panama or a fedora as being too flashy. He'd told Sam that he couldn't have a proper derby-only a newsboy cap-until he got married. Sam had prayed that he would wear a newsboy cap for the rest of his life.

When Aaron had taken him shopping, he'd helped him put outfits together, but if there was something that had caught Sam's eye, he'd let him have it. He'd even gotten Sam the snazziest gray felt fedora with a mauve ribbon and a small dotted feather accent. Sam loved it. Aaron had taken him to a clothier above what Aaron had described as a 'pansy club'. Sam had no idea what that was until he'd explained that it was a place for men like them to meet or to enjoy themselves for an evening's entertainment without the fear of being found out. The only thing that had marred the day was when the clothier had off-handedly mentioned something to Aaron in regards to Sam.

"He's new in town, you say?" the man called Walter had said. "I'm sure it's only a coincidence, but there were two men who came around the club asking if someone matching his very description had stopped in."

It had taken all the control that Aaron had taught him to keep still, keep his expression flat. Aaron had responded perfectly by laughing it off. They'd left in a hurry after that, as Sam's newly learned control had begun to slip and the trembling had taken over. Aaron had kept him inside since then.

But now they were outside where anyone could see him. Maybe Aaron thought enough time had pa.s.sed that it was no longer a concern? Worry churned in him and blossomed into more unease. He looked down at his snappy clothes then glanced at Aaron's graceful form as he walked ahead of him. He hadn't chewed his lip in so long, he'd forgotten that he even used to do it. But he hadn't had his morning spanking and he still owed Aaron for the hotel and for the bathhouse and for the beautiful outfits...

"Oh!"

He swayed, grasping a spear-pointed picket of an iron fence that they were pa.s.sing. His eyelids fluttered and when he fully opened them again he realized that Aaron was crouched over him and clutching his upper arm to keep him steady.

"Breathe, little Sam. Come on. You know what to do."

"S-sorry."

"Ssh. Slow breaths. In, then out. That's it. Good boy."

That had done the trick. All he ever needed to hear was Aaron's praise and he could snap out of almost anything. But he still owed Aaron. He owed him for everything.

"Talk to me."

Aaron had released his hold. Even though they were on a side street in a quiet neighborhood, they still had to be careful. The last thing they needed was for a nosy copper to drive by at the wrong moment and start ha.s.sling them.

"We never worked out a repayment plan."

There was a stunned expression on Aaron's face. It softened as he seemed to comprehend what Sam had just said.

"Sam, that's not necessary any more-not that it ever was-but we're partners now. I take care of you and you submit to me. That's the agreement."

"But..."

How could he properly explain it? It was true. It wasn't as if Aaron needed the money, and Sam did do everything that Aaron asked. "Why do you think it bothers you so much that I pay for everything?"

Sam bit his lip before he could stop himself. Aaron pried it loose and rubbed the pad of his finger across it before letting go.