War And Peace: This Is Me, Baby Part 9

"You're crying," he says softly. "What can I do to help?"

I didn't even realize I was crying. When my fingertips touch my cheek, I feel the wetness there. "I don't know."

"Were you thinking about him?" he murmurs, his fingers stroking the flesh on my upper arm.

"Always."

"I'm sorry this happened to you. It's not fair. You of all people deserved better."

I choke out my words. "I don't want to talk right now," I whisper. "I just need..." My fingertips lightly skate down his sculpted chest toward his stomach. In the dark, his physique reminds me of Duvan's.

The smells are all wrong.

The voice is all wrong.

But the heat rippling from him is all right.

By the time my palm reaches his shorts, his c.o.c.k is erect and straining against the fabric. Last night, he split me apart with pleasure. With every stroke and thrust, he drove away my sadness. It was fleeting but for a while, I was high.

Just like the heroin once did for me.

I was able to blur out all the heartache and focus on something nice for just a moment. Something that didn't destroy me, but instead, fulfilled me.

"I need you," I utter. "You're my distraction."

I hate myself for using Ren. For literally turning out the lights on our friends.h.i.+p to gain a high from his body. His warmth. His companions.h.i.+p. His pleasure. When daylight returns, I'll once again regret my actions. I'll detest my decision-making skills. Hate how weak I am.

Yet, right now, I don't care about any of that.

In the darkness, I crave the real life ecstasy that surges through my veins when I'm touched in just the right way. When his hot breath tickles the tender flesh along my throat. When his teeth bite me in a way that hurts so good.

"You're going to just keep pretending?" he asks, his lips pressing soft kisses below my ear.

My fingers find his still wet hair. "It's easier that way."

In the dark, I'm free to say whatever I want.

"Do you imagine it's him here instead of me?" He's not angry. At least I can't tell if he is. He sounds curious. As though he's trying to figure me out.

"Sometimes."

An animalistic sound rumbles from him tickling my throat as he trails south toward my chest. His palm cups my breast in an almost reverent way. But then his teeth are on my still tender nipple. He's not gentle as he sucks and nips at it. The contrast between his rough handling of one breast and his wors.h.i.+pping way of the other has me squirming beneath him. When he bites me once more, I dig my fingernails into his shoulder. A hiss escapes him. I expect him to move along but he bites me over and over, causing me to cry out and claw him again.

"I can see why he called you tigress," he murmurs against my sore nipple before kissing my skin softly. He suckles the flesh until he gets to my stomach. My p.u.s.s.y is throbbing with antic.i.p.ation. The idea of having his lips on me between my thighs has my entire body thrumming with excitement.

In the dark, I'm transfixed in this moment.

Sadness and despair and regret aren't haunting me.

I'm lost in the best possible way.

My attention is torn away from my inner thoughts and is honing in on his lips. So soft. So tender. So loving. He kisses me just below my belly b.u.t.ton. His palm splays across my midsection, which is beginning to soften and expand. He whispers something against my belly that I can't hear, but I feel. So hot.

"What did you say?" I question, my body practically twitching with the need to have him tear me apart.

His tongue flicks out and he drags it down my skin-lower and lower until he reaches my panty line just above my pubic bone. I'm so wet for him. If he were to touch my panties, he'd feel just how wet. His teeth find the fabric and he playfully tugs at it. I let out a mewl of pleasure when his thumb rubs along my c.l.i.t through my panties to the part of me that practically drips with need.

"So wet," he says with a smug tone.

"What did you say before?" I ask again.

"I said, 'You're going to love your mom. Everyone does.'"

I'm stunned stupid, realizing he just spoke to my unborn baby. My entire body s.h.i.+vers from head to toe. His strong hands find my panties and he jerks them from my body. I am still thinking of his words until his nose rubs against my c.l.i.t, sending fire shooting through me.

He's going to burn me alive from the inside out.

"Oh, G.o.d!" I cry out, my hips lifting to seek his mouth.

I'm not forced to wait much longer because a second later, his lips and tongue are all over my p.u.s.s.y. Tasting and sucking and licking and biting. So much sensation. Too much. But I need it all. I'm greedy, and it's addicting. The pleasure surging through me is better than any drug. His breath scorches my sensitive skin as he whispers sweet things against my flesh. I hear those words and lock them up inside of me for safe keeping. Tuck them away in a memory box of my mind to open up and look at later when it's no longer dark.

"You're dripping for me, baby," he growls against my p.u.s.s.y. "I want to devour you all night long. Feast on this perfect part of you."

His hungry words only serve to drive me crazier than I already feel. I grip his hair when he starts to make good on his promise to consume me. My entire body-which had felt like an empty sh.e.l.l not even twenty minutes ago-comes alive. I jolt and squirm and cry out with every flick of his tongue. I beg and plead for I don't know what until he gives it to me. His teeth find my c.l.i.t and he tugs. It hurts for just a moment until he sucks away the pain. I'm dizzy with the a.s.sault of sensations blasting through me from where his mouth is connected to me.

An o.r.g.a.s.m with the ferocity and sudden onset like that of an unexpected tornado rips through me and decimates everything in its path.

"Ren!"

He jerks away from my throbbing s.e.x and pushes my thighs apart. I let out a needy whine when I feel the head of his c.o.c.k rubbing against my slick opening. Thankfully, he doesn't tease me, and instead drives into me with one hard thrust. My fingernails dig into his arms as he bucks into me like a savage beast. I like him like this.

Uncontrolled.

Hungry.

An animal who's starved only for me.

Possessive.

"Say it again," he orders, his voice deep and authoritative. The echoes of it rumble their way straight to my core. "n.o.body has to hear it but us."

"Ren," I murmur so softly, I wonder if he even hears it.

His mouth crashes against mine and we kiss unlike any time before. This kiss is greedy. Soul consuming. Two people with needs only the other can fulfil.

I want to touch every part of him as he fills me. To dance my fingers over his flesh and memorize each contour. Deep in my heart, I want to imagine it's Duvan taking me. But even as I think those words, I know they aren't one hundred percent true.

Ren isn't one I can simply block out.

He loves too hard. With such loyalty. It never waivers. A love that one can lean upon during life's biggest storm and not get blown away.

Here in the dark, I don't have to hide from Ren and pretend. It's now that I actually feel alive. It's everyone else I'm hiding from...with him. He's once again there for me. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to convey to him how much that means to me.

"Our little secret," he whispers against my lips, like he has direct access to my thoughts.

A secret with Ren.

Wouldn't be the first time.

"Okay, Romeo," I agree, my voice ragged as another o.r.g.a.s.m clutches greedily at my body.

My response spurs him on and he f.u.c.ks me so hard I know I'll be sore tomorrow. I dig my nails into his flesh and hold on for the duration of the ride.

Together we peak with hissed breaths. Wet lips. Tangled souls.

And then together we come back down. Fast and hard. Hurtling toward gravity at breakneck speed.

Reality trickles its way into my brain as his seed trickles its way out of my body. His ma.s.sive arms slide between my back and the mattress. He then rolls us over onto our sides. I nearly whimper when his fingers brush my hair out of my face. My skin is hot and sticky.

I wish I could see him.

Give a face to the secret.

For now, the dark keeps us hidden.

"What did Duvan want from you?" he questions, his tone sad.

My heart aches in my chest. "For me to be happy. No agendas. No ulterior motives. Nothing in exchange for it. Just to see me smile." Emotion chokes me. "It was that simple."

Ren leans forward and kisses my forehead. "It seems he and I have that in common then," he breathes against me. "I will fulfil his wish. We will see you smile. You will be happy, Juliet."

A smile tugs at my lips from hearing the nickname.

In his pitch-black bedroom, he may not see it, but I sure hope he can feel it.

SUNLIGHT POURS IN THROUGH my window and blankets Brie in its warmth. Even the sun wants her. She's the gravity. We all simply orbit around her.

Lifting up on my elbow, I watch her as she sleeps. Her brows aren't pinched together in pain. Her lips aren't drawn into a sad frown. Her brown eyes don't pool with unshed tears.

She's at peace.

Asleep in my bed.

Pride fills my chest. She hasn't run from me. If anything, she's run straight for me. It's where she belongs now that her world has been blown to bits. I won't let anything or anyone touch her again. Her tattered heart belongs to me. I'll mend it until the day I die. I'm still watching her when my phone buzzes from the table. With a groan, I roll over to see who's texting. I see I've missed a few.

Calder: You do realize there are other people in this house?

Calder: I thought you'd be a one-minute man or some s.h.i.+t but that c.r.a.p went on for hours. WTF dude?

Calder: Would have been cooler if she would have accidentally called you Steve...

Calder: Oh, Teev! Give it to me! I've got a clue for you right here...

I roll my eyes at his stupid texts from early this morning.

Me: You're a d.i.c.k.

His response is immediate.

Calder: A d.i.c.k that didn't get any sleep because your girl's moans kept me up all night. Oh, Romeo! Oh, Juliet! What is that anyway? Some sort of Shakespearean kink? Must be a thing. I'm googling it.

I steal a glance at Brie. Last night had been f.u.c.king fabulous. And afterward, I held her while she slept. She was more relaxed than the night before. It felt good to give her some relief.

Calder: f.u.c.king forget it. I can't believe I just googled that s.h.i.+t. Luciana won't stop laughing now.

He then sends me some Shakespeare p.o.r.n that has me choking back laughter, so I don't wake up Brie.

Me: You're a sick f.u.c.k.

I slide out of bed and throw on a pair of jeans before slipping out of the bedroom. Calder and Luciana are nowhere to be found. After I start some coffee, I text him back.

Me: Where are you?

Calder: Denny's. Thought Luci might want to get out of the house.

Luci?

Me: Thanks for the invite, a.s.shole.

Calder: According to my eavesdropping, you ate your fill last night.

Me: I hate you.

While I wait for him to respond, I stir some sugar into my coffee. Eventually, my punk-a.s.s brother replies.

Calder: You're going to hate me even more. Mom's on her way. I was supposed to warn you but then I thought it would be funny if she saw you b.u.t.t-a.s.s naked with Gabe's daughter. Bye, Teev.

A growl rumbles from me just as the doorbell rings.

f.u.c.king h.e.l.l.

I don't even make it to the door before it swings open. Mom beams at me. Toto sits on her hip and she has Mason in his carrier in her other hand.

"Teev!" Toto screeches and wiggles herself out of Mom's grip.

I can't help but grin at my little buddy and scoop her up as soon as she makes it over to me. "Hey, Toto. Miss me?"

She hugs my neck and lets out another squeal. "Teev!"