Meridian. Part 4

I trailed behind. The scents of cinnamon, vanilla, and fresh-baked bread made my stomach ani growl.

*"She's hungry, at least,"' Tens said, as we entered the kitchen. "Hope she likes to eat Bambi." He extracted a jug of orange juice from the refrigerator and gulped from it greedily as I leaned against the doorframe.

"That's enough."' Auntie's voice held a lilt of age and steel. "h.e.l.lo, little one. Are you feeling more like yourself?" She briskly took my face in her hands, peering up into my eyes.

I hadn't noticed how short she was earlier.

"I guess." I hadn't the first clue how to answer that question.

"You'll be hungry. Sit."

My mind turned to the candles burning unattended on the tree in the parlor. My mother was adamant that candles were for emergencies only, never to be left unattended. I couldn't handle fire casually because I didn't know anyone who did. "Are you sure we shouldn't blow out the candles?"

"Pooh, that's a fresh tree. They won't be burning down this house tonight. It's Christmas Eve, child. It's tradition." Auntie grinned and brushed my hair back.

"Oh." Christmas Eve. How fast things changed. I wondered where my parents were and what Sam was doing tonight. He used to sneak into my room to try to stay awake to see Santa. What would he do tonight? Would he try to stay up? Would he miss me? I didn't know what he'd asked Santa for. Had he not told me or had I simply not listened?

Auntie shooed me to a seat at an old mahogany farm table and placed a thick slab of bread in front of me. She slathered on the b.u.t.ter as if I were an invalid. "I can do it." I reached for the knife.

She handed it to me. "Of course, of course. You gave us such a fright."

"Sorry." I felt like the apology was expected.

"You have questions, I know." Auntie spooned thick brown stew into a crockery bowl.

"Yep, she looks like a war refugee," Tens piped up from the background.

Great, I look that bad? Why did I care? I shot him a glare I hoped he felt like a slap.

"There'll be Christmas cookies for dessert if you like. Dig in. We ate earlier. Tens, pour me tea, please, and grab a grape soda for Meridian."

I glanced up with a questioning look. How did she know I liked grape soda?

"We all do, dear." She patted my hand and stirred four heaping spoonfuls of sugar into a mug that held a concoction that appeared more like licorice pudding than tea. "Tens, sit with us."

He straddled a chair backward as if he wanted to put the back of the chair between us.

28ani *I shoveled stew into my mouth, refusing to contemplate Tens's comment about Bambi. I chased it with a large bite of the best-tasting bread I'd ever had in my life. I was nearly finished lapping up the last of the broth when I realized they were both gawking at me like they'd never seen anyone eat. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been that hungry, nor that mannerless. "Sorry." I abruptly stopped and inhaled.

"I'm glad it tasted good to you. You've had a long journey, one that'll be longer yet." Auntie sipped her tea, but didn't offer any explanation.

I couldn't hold back any longer. "What am I doing here? Who are you? I mean. I know you're my great-aunt, my namesake, but I've never met you. What is happening to me? Why did my parents toss me in a cab and make me trek across the country to some G.o.dforsaken castle in the middle of freakin' nowhere and then you" -I paused long enough to point a finger at Tens-"make nasty comments and stare at me all woogy eyed and smirky and you"- swinging my attention back to Auntie-"act like I'm just here visiting on holiday and you"-focusing on Custos, who had been asleep on the floor by the kitchen sink- "nearly kill me in the blizzard and then decide we're friends. We're not friends."

29ani *

Chapter 7.

I continued, unable to stave off the flow of questions. "Where are my parents and when do I get to see them again? And what the h.e.l.l is a Fenestra? I don't want to be one. I don't want to have anything to do with it." I pushed back my chair and leaned against the table, then swung back to Tens. "And if you're not nicer to me I'll just wiggle my eyebrows or purse my lips or whatever the h.e.l.l I do to kill everything around me and then you'll be dead. And then we'll see who gets the last laugh."I deflated, flopping back down into my chair, exhausted and not just a little mortified.

Tens had the audacity to smile at me like I'd made him the prince of Egypt I growled. I actually growled like a d.a.m.n dog. "I told you I should have gone to Portland to get her," he said to Auntie. "We teens don't do what we're told anymore -we expect an explanation."

Auntie nodded at him, unruffled. "Perhaps. Well, I see we've got work to do. I do so love this time of year. Tens, get Meridian some of that cocoa and bring another cup of tea for me into the parlor, please. It'll be a long night. Come along, dear child, and let's see if I can't unravel some of that thread that's knotted in your brain."

Auntie had a surprisingly strong grip as she tugged on my elbow.

Custos scratched at the kitchen door and Auntie opened it for her absently while she muttered, "Where to start, where to start? Send her to me completely unaware? What in Gabriel's legacy were they thinking? Have they told you nothing? This is the information age, for Creator's sake."

She positioned me by the fire and tucked one of the numberless quilts around my shoulders.

The food kicked in; I finally felt more like a human being and less like a b.i.t.c.hy zombie.

"Where do I start? I've never done this before. Never had to." She seemed frail. For a moment it was as if all the life left in her diminished into that one question.

I wasn't feeling nice, but I was tired of being angry. "Why don't you start at the beginning?"

Auntie lowered herself into a rocking chair and set a soothing, slow rhythm with her feet.

"What do you know of your history? Religion? Politics?"

What a question. School? What does school have to do with this? "I'm a good student. I've paid attention, I guess, I get it."

"Hmmm. And did you never wonder why dead things acc.u.mulated in your presence?"

"She just thought she was a freak." Tens handed me a mug. He was too perceptive for comfort. "Right?"

I scooted deeper into the couch and quilt. "Don't I ..." I swallowed, but forced out the question. "... kill them?"

30ani *"No! No!" Auntie leapt up, almost spilling her drink. "Your mother, I could spank her. How could she let you think that?"

"I never asked."' But yeah, I'd wondered that too. Weren't my deathly skills a rather huge elephant to ignore?

"Do you know the law of conservation of energy?" she asked.

"Energy cannot be created or destroyed, but can change its form?" '

"Exactly." I had pleased her with my answer. "Do you understand that hot air rises and cool air sinks?"

"I guess." Color me crazy, but this sounded a h.e.l.l of a lot like a couple of science lectures I'd already heard.

She pursed her lips, "Have you ever examined a dead thing?"

"I've seen plenty."

"Yes, but have you studied them? Really examined them? The thing that makes life, that breathes substance into a form is energy. When that body -be it animal or human-when that sh.e.l.l, that carca.s.s dies, the energy in it rises like heat."

She paused as if waiting for me to make an acknowledgment.

"You are not death. You do not bring death, you do not control it, you cannot change the destiny of that fate. You could administer lifesaving measures like CPR, but if that soul is ready to rise, then nothing you, or I, can do will stop it."

"If I'm not death, than what am I?"

"You're a Fenestra, a window. An open attic window, in the tallest of houses, for the transition of life energy into the purest, best world possible."

"You're a door to paradise -the afterlife-Supergirl." Tens tossed a handful of mixed nuts into his mouth and chomped down. I hated how calm he appeared.

"Right." Thinking he was messing with me, I let sarcasm color my tone.

Auntie smiled at me. "You don't believe."

I shrugged. "It's the best definition I've gotten yet, but I mean really, would you believe you?"

"Probably not." Tens shrugged.

"Why haven't I heard about Fenestras?" I asked.

31a "Because people don't live to talk about them?" Tens grabbed another handful of nuts.

ni *I rolled my eyes at him.

Auntie picked through the nuts and collected a handful of cashews. "We're protected. By the Creators. By a special group called Protectors."

"Uh-huh, and am I human, or from Mars?"

Auntie giggled like a schoolgirl. "Mars?"

"You're from Venus, Supergirl, or haven't you heard?" Tens tossed out.

"Shut up," I snapped. "Just stop teasing me."

He quirked a brow at me, but fell silent.

"Life all started in the same place, with the same Creator."

"G.o.d?"

Auntie smiled at me. "There are many names, from many cultures and traditions. Though the names are almost infinite in number, none of them truly call the Creator or Creators by their full being."

I rubbed my temples. "Now you're sounding like a fortune cookie."

"Religion isn't what we're about. It's bigger than the human idea of rituals. We're created to help souls move on to what Buddhists call enlightenment, what Christians call heaven, and so on."

"Everything is about religion." This I knew from world history. Wars, genocides -they all led back to beliefs and man's intolerance for his own organized religion.

"That may be, but Fenestras are not affiliated with a specific branch of belief. Neither are the Protectors, though human aids are often very spiritual people. Nor are the Aternocti, for that matter, but they come from the Destroyers' side."

"But people will hate you anyway," Tens said with a scowl.

I wanted to ask what he meant, but his face was so closed, so shuttered I didn't dare. "Where did they come from?"

"We came from a blending of angel and human DNA," Auntie said.

"Huh?"

"Sangre angels used to do the work, used to be there for every transition, but as the population of humans grew there weren't enough of them to keep up. Plus, they were needed for other things -to keep the balance."

32a "But you said energy doesn't change."

ni *"It changes forms, but never disappears or appears. If a being dies without a Fenestra or an Aternocti present, it circles again."

"Reincarnation?"

"Yes."

"What are the Aterwhats?" I was beginning to feel as if I were trapped in a Star Wars movie.

"That's another discussion, but they carry souls into the lightless place."

"h.e.l.l," Tens tossed at me.

Auntie shrugged in agreement. "To a transitional soul, you appear as light. A bright white tunnel."

"Don't tell me the 'go to the light' thing someone always says to dying people in movies is accurate." I was trapped in a Lifetime special.

"In a way. To the living world, you appear human.

Except for a few little things, we live our lives as most of humanity lives theirs."'

"What little things?"

"You'll begin to see your light out of your peripheral vision, and there are humans who can see it as well."

"Now I'm a glowworm?"' I shook my head. "What else?"

"Do you have any photographs from your childhood?" Even though Auntie had asked the question, she clearly already knew the answer.

I thought about it. I didn't. Something always happened to the film, or we had plans when cla.s.s photos were being taken. I couldn't think of a single photograph I was present in.

"No."

"That's one of the little things."