The Perfect Hope Part 76

"Yeah. He gave me a card with some private number on it. Asked if I'd let him know if either of them didn't hold the deal."

"Wait." Stupefied, she held up a hand. "Baxter Wickham gave you his private number?"

"Yeah, so? He's not G.o.d. He's just some guy, an embarra.s.sed and p.i.s.sed-off guy who's got an a.s.shole for a son. Now it's done, like I said." He took a long swallow because, Jesus, he felt like he'd been talking straight for an hour. "You're the one big on communicating, expressing. Talk, talk, talk. Maybe you should've done some communicating, expressing, talking to him when the a.s.shole showed up here. The old man strikes me as a pretty reasonable guy."

Reasonable wasn't the word most used to describe Baxter Wickham, Hope thought. Powerful, private, occasionally pugnacious. "He was my employer for a long time. And I believed he'd be my father-in-law. But you're right. I should've gone to him. I guess I was still carrying some hurt and anger in that area-plus, blood's thicker."

"Maybe, and maybe he'd have shrugged off his son's offer. You were free to say yes or no. But the daughter-in-law bit? No. The d.i.c.kless a.s.shole may not be able to keep her in line, but Wickham will."

"It shouldn't have gotten this far. And it should never have caused trouble between you and me. I'm sorry it did."

"Makeup s.e.x ought to balance it out."

When she laughed, he reached out without thinking, stroked his fingers down her cheek in a way that stilled the laughter.

"I missed your face," he told her.

Moved, she closed her hand around his wrist. "I missed yours."

He rose, smooth and quick, lifting her from the stool, wrapping her against him. She expected urgency and demand, a prelude to that makeup s.e.x. Instead, the kiss floated over her senses, dreamy and sweet. It s.h.i.+mmered over her heart, then into it before she understood, before she could prepare.

Even when he drew away it held there, beating like a pulse inside her.

His thumb brushed over her cheekbone. Calloused skin; a gentle stroke. "I'll pick up some food and be back later."

"All right. I have-"

"Guests. I know. I keep up. I'll wait." His eyes, green and searching, stayed on hers another moment. "We'll wait," he amended. "D.A. missed you, too."

He walked out, left her weak and wondering.

Is this what she'd thought she'd felt for Jonathan? Stupid, stupid to have mistaken contentment, habit, what had proven to be a foolish affection and loyalty for this overwhelming, undermining, dazzling emotion.

She had to sit, wait to get her breath back, wait for her knees to stop trembling. She hadn't understood, had never understood love caused such a staggering physical reaction. She felt feverish, unsteady, and, she had to admit as she closed her eyes, frightened.

She had a plan. Falling in love hadn't been part of it.

"Adjust," she ordered herself, and laid her cheek on the cool granite. "Adjust."

Some people never felt what she felt now. Right at the moment she didn't know whether to envy or pity them. But realities had to be faced. She was in love with Ryder Montgomery.

She just had to figure out what the h.e.l.l to do about it.

"Is this what you felt?" Hope stayed where she was, breathing in honeysuckle, struggling to find her balance. "No wonder you've waited. What else could you do? He loved you, too. You knew. You didn't wonder or worry or doubt. If you'd wait, if you could, so could he. I'll find him."

Billy.

Hope heard the joy in the name, the life in it.

Ryder.

"Yeah." On a long breath, she pushed herself up to sit again. "It looks that way. It looks as if I started moving here, to this, from that first minute. Dizzy, hot, overwhelmed, dazzled, scared. Just like now. It shouldn't be, but it is. It shouldn't have been for you either, considering. It must run in the family."

Billy. Ryder.

"And I'll bet Billy had that same c.o.c.ky nature. It shouldn't be so appealing. Swept you off your feet. I can see it. I can see it now. It didn't matter who your father was, what your station was. He loved you. He saw you, and that was all that mattered. I wonder what that's like. To have someone so strong and confident see you, look at you, and you're all that matters."

She sighed now, got to her feet. "I can't think about that right now. I can't expect that. I need to finish my list, and I should bake some m.u.f.fins before the guests arrive."

The cupboard door where she kept her baking supplies flew open, slammed shut.

"There's no reason to be annoyed with me. Billy loved you, I understand. He wanted to marry you. Ryder doesn't ..."

She stepped back instinctively as the door slammed again. She heard the names clearly.

Billy. Ryder.

"All right, Eliza. Enough. If I say I wished Ryder felt for me what Billy did for you, will you be satisfied? But Billy and Ryder aren't ..."

She stopped, braced a hand on the counter as it sprang up in her. "Oh G.o.d, is that it? Was it always that simple. Billy Ryder? Joseph William Ryder. Is that it? Is that his name?"

The lights came on in a brilliant glow, pulsed like a heartbeat.

"Billy Ryder. Yours, and apparently mine. His ancestor? Could that be? His, like you're mine. Wait."

She grabbed the kitchen phone, punched in Ryder's cell.

"What?"

She ignored the automatic annoyance. He hated being interrupted, but that was too d.a.m.n bad. "Ryder's a family name, isn't it?"

"Huh? Jesus. So what?"

She pitched her voice up, compensating for the hammering on his end. "It's your mother's maiden name? Her family name?"

"Yeah, and so what?"

"Billy. It was his family name, too. He's Joseph William Ryder."

"Son of a b.i.t.c.h."

"Do you recognize the name? Is it familiar?"

"Why would it be? He was dead a couple hundred years before I was born. Ask my mother. Ask Carolee. Call Owen. Any one of them would know more than I do."

"All right. Thanks."

"Congratulations."