The Story of a Doctor's Telephone Part 31

"The way I manage it is to a.s.sert myself when it becomes necessary--and it does. You're a physician to your patients but to me you're a mere man."

"I feel myself shrivelling. But how about Mrs. B.'s compliment?"

"I was over at the church where a social program of some sort was being given and 'between acts' everybody was moving about chatting. An elderly woman near me asked, 'Mrs. Blank, do you know who the Hammell's are?' I told her that I did not, and she went on, 'I see by the paper that a member of their family died today, and I thought you, being a doctor's wife, might know something about it.'

"Mrs. B. spoke up promptly, 'Why, Mrs. Blank wouldn't know anything about the _dead_ people--her husband gets 'em _well_.'"

The doctor laughed, "And she believes it too," he said.

"No doubt of it. So a compliment like that offsets one of Mrs. C.'s kind."

"O, no. The C.'s have it by a big majority. Don't you know I have the reputation of being the meanest man in the county?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, I have. Do you remember that drive we took a week or two ago up north?"

"That long drive?"

"Yes. When I went in the man who was a stranger to me, said, 'I'll tell you why I sent for you. I've had two or three doctors out here, recommended as _good_ doctors, and they haven't done me a darned bit of good. Yesterday I heard you was the meanest doctor in this county and I said to myself, "He's the man I want."'"

"I heard you laughing and wondered what it was about. The man's wife came out to the buggy and talked to me. She said they were strangers and didn't know anything about the doctors around here--they had thought of sending down to this town for a doctor but she had spoken to a woman--a neighbor--and she had said there wasn't _any_ of 'em any account down there. But her husband kept getting worse so they finally sent for Dr.

Blank and she hoped he'd cure 'im. Are you doing it? I hope so for I a.s.sured her that the physicians of this town are recognized throughout the State as being men of exceptional ability, and she went in, comforted."

"Yes, he got better as soon as he struck the road to health," laughed John. He took out his watch. "Jove! I haven't any time to spare if I catch that train." For several days he had been taking the train to a little station some miles out of town, where he would get off and walk a mile to the home of his patient, make his visit and walk back in time to catch the train for home.

Just after the doctor left the house the telephone rang twice. His wife answered it, knowing he had not yet reached the office.

"Is the doctor there?"

"He left the house just a minute ago."

"Well, he's coming down today isn't he?"

"Is this Mrs. Shortridge?"

"Yes."

"Yes, he just said he must make that train."

"He'll go to the office first won't he?"

"Yes, to get his case, I think."

"Will you please telephone him there to bring a roast with him?"

"To bring what?"

"A roast."

Mary was nonplussed. Her husband had the reputation of "roasting" his patients and their attendants on occasion. Had an occasion arisen now?

"Why, ye-es," she began, uncertainly, when the voice spoke again.

"I mean a roast of beef, Mrs. Blank. I thought as the doctor was coming he wouldn't mind stopping at the butcher's and bringing me a roast--tell him a good-sized one."

The receiver clicked. Mary still held hers. Then she rang the office.

"What _is_ it?" Great haste spoke in the voice.

"John, Mrs. Shortridge wants you to bring her a roast of beef when you go down."

"The devil she does!"

"The market is right on your way. Hurry. Don't miss the train!" She put up the receiver, then she s.n.a.t.c.hed it and rang again violently.

"_Now_ what!" thundered John's voice.

"She said to get a good-sized one." Standing with the receiver in her hand and shaking with laughter she heard the office-door shut with a bang and knew that he was off.

She knew that if he had been going in the buggy he would have been glad to do Mrs. S.'s bidding. He often carried ice and other needful things to homes where he visited. Mary pictured her husband picking his way along a muddy country road, his case in one hand and the "roast" in the other, and thought within herself, "He'll be in a better mood for a roast when he arrives than when he started."

Mary was out in the kitchen making jelly. At the critical moment when the beaded bubbles were "winking at the brim" came the ring. She lifted the kettle to one side, wiped her hands and went.

"Is this you, Mary?"

"Yes."

"Watch the 'phone a little bit, please. I have to be out about half an hour."

"I'm always watching the 'phone, John, always, _always_!"

She went back to her jelly. She put it back on the fire, an inert ma.s.s with all the bubbles died out of it. Scarcely had she done so when the 'phone rang--two rings. Surely the doctor had not got beyond hearing distance. He would answer. But perhaps he had--he was a very swift walker. The only way to be sure of it was to go to the telephone and listen. She went hastily back and as she put the receiver to her ear there came a buzz against it which made her jump.

"h.e.l.lo," she said.

"I wanted the doctor, Mrs. Blank, do you know where he is?"

"He just 'phoned me that he--" an unmistakable sound arose from the kitchen stove. The jelly was boiling over! Instinct is older than the telephone. The receiver dangled in air while Mary rushed madly to the rescue. "I might have known it," she said to herself, as she pushed the kettle aside and rushed back to the 'phone.

"I guess they cut us off," said the voice.

"I was just saying," said Mary, "that the doctor 'phoned me a few minutes ago he would be out for half an hour."

"Will you please tell him when he comes in to call up 83?"

The man goes on his way, relieved of further responsibility in the matter. It will be a very easy thing for the doctor's wife to call up her husband and give him the message. Let us see.