Potash & Perlmutter Part 47
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"Who is willing to run a chance, Mawruss?" Abe cried. "Just to show you I ain't willing to run a chance I will go right down to J. Blaustein and take out a ten-thousand-dollar policy, Mawruss."
Morris colored slightly.
"Why should we give it Blaustein all our business, Abe?" he said. "That feller must got it a thousand customers to Rudy Feinholz's one."
"Whose one?" Abe asked.
"Rudy Feinholz's," said Morris. "I thought I told it you that Louis Feinholz's nephew got an insurance business on Lenox Avenue, and I promised Louis I would give the young feller a show."
"You promised you would give him a show, Mawruss?" Abe repeated. "You promised Louis you would give that kid nephew of his what used to run Louis' books a show?"
"That's what I said, Abe," Morris answered.
"Well, all I can say, Mawruss," Abe declared as he put on his hat, "is that I wouldn't insure it a pinch of snuff by that feller, Mawruss. So if you take out any policies from him you can pay for 'em yourself, Mawruss, because I won't."
He favored Morris with a final glare and banged the door behind him.
Two hours later when Abe reentered the show-room his face was flushed with triumph and he smoked one of J. Blaustein's imported cigars.
"You see, Mawruss," he said, flouris.h.i.+ng a folded policy, "when you deal with fellers like Blaustein it goes quick. I got it here a ten-thousand-dollar insurance by a first-cla.s.s, A Number One company."
Morris seized the policy and spread it out on the table. For ten minutes he examined it closely and then handed it back in silence.
"Well, Mawruss," Abe inquired anxiously, "ain't that policy all right?"
Morris shook his head.
"In the first place, Abe," he said, "why should we insure it a loft on Nineteenth Street, New York, in the Manchester, Sheffield and Lincolns.h.i.+re Insurance Company, of Manchester, England? Are we English or are we American, Abe?"
This was a poser, and Abe remained silent.
"And then again, Abe," Morris went on, "supposing we should--maybe, I am only saying--have a fire, Abe, then we must got to go all the way to Manchester, England, already to collect our money. Ain't it?"
Abe stared at his feet and made no reply, while Morris again examined the folded policy.
"Just listen here to these here names of the people what run the company, Abe," he said. "Chairman, the rutt honn Earl of Warrington."
Abe looked up suddenly.
"What kind of Chinese talk is that, Mawruss?" he said. "Rutt honn?"
"That's no Chinese talk, Abe," Morris replied. "That's printed right here on the policy. That rutt honn Earl of Warrington is president of the board of directors, Abe; and supposing we should maybe for example have a fire, Abe, what show would we stand it with this here rutt honn Earl of Warrington?"
Abe grabbed the policy, which bore on its reverse side the list of directors headed by the name of that distinguished statesman and Cabinet minister, the Rt. Hon. Earl of Warrington.
"J. Blaustein would fix it for us," Abe replied.
"J. Blaustein," Morris jeered. "I suppose, Abe, him and the rutt honn Earl of Warrington drinks coffee together every afternoon when J.
Blaustein makes a trip to Manchester, England. Ain't it? No, Abe, you are up against a poor proposition, and I hope you ain't paid for that policy, Abe."
"J. Blaustein ain't in no hurry," Abe said. "We never pay him inside of sixty days, anyway."
"Well, we ain't going to pay him for that policy inside of sixty days or six hundred and sixty days, neither, Abe. We're going to fire that policy back on him, Abe, because I got it here a policy for ten thousand dollars which Rudy Feinholz just brought it me, Abe, and we are insured in a good American company, Abe, the Farmers and Ranchers' Insurance Company, of Arizona."
Abe shrugged his shoulders.
"Why should we insure it a stock of cloaks and suits by farmers and ranchers, Mawruss?" he asked.
"Ain't it better we should insure our goods by farmers and ranchers as by somebody what we don't know what he does for a living, like the rutt honn Earl of Warrington?" Morris retorted.
"But when it comes right down to it, Mawruss," Abe said, "how are we better off, supposing we got to go all the way to Arizona to collect our money?"
"That's what I told it young Feinholz," Morris replied, "and he says supposing we should, so to speak, have a fire, he guarantees it we would collect our money every cent of it right here in New York. And anyhow, Abe, any objections what you got to this here Farmers and Ranchers'
policy wouldn't be no use anyhow."
"No?" Abe said. "Why not?"
"Because I just sent it Rudy Feinholz a check for the premium," Morris said, and walked out of the show-room before Abe could enunciate all the profanity that rose to his lips.
Louis Feinholz's order was s.h.i.+pped the following week, and with it went the cape for his show window. Abe himself superintended the packing, for business was dull in the firm's show-room. A particularly warm March had given way to a frigid, rainy April, and now that the promise of an early spring had failed of fulfillment cancelations were coming in thick and fast. Hence, Abe took rather a pessimistic view of things.
"I bet yer Feinholz will have yet some kicks about them goods, Mawruss,"
he said. "When I come down Feinholz's street this morning, Mawruss, it looked like Johnstown after the flood. I bet yer Feinholz ain't making enough in that store just now to pay electric-light bills."
"I don't know about that, Abe," said Morris. "Louis carries a mighty attractive line in his winders. Them small Fifth Avenue stores ain't got nothing on him when it comes to the line of sample garments he carries in his show winders, Abe."
"Sure I know," Abe rejoined; "but he ain't got nothing on one of them piker stores when it comes right down to the stock he carries on the inside, Mawruss. Yes, Mawruss, when I sell goods to a feller like Feinholz, Mawruss, I'm afraid for my life until I get my money."
"Well, you needn't be afraid for Feinholz, Abe," said Morris, "because, in the first place, the feller has got a fine rating; and then again, he couldn't fire them goods back on us because, for the price, there ain't a better-made line in the country."
"I hope you're right, Mawruss," Abe replied as he rang the bell for the freight elevator. "It would be a fine comeback if he should return them goods on us after we give his nephew the insurance we did."
Again he pressed the elevator bell.
"What's the matter with that elevator, Mawruss?" he said. "It takes a year to get a package on to the sidewalk."
"That's on account of somebody moves in downstairs, Abe," Morris answered. "Kaskel Schwartz, what used to be foreman for Pinkel Brothers, him and Moe Feigel goes as partners together in skirts."
"Is that so?" Abe said, jamming his thumb on the elevator bell. "I hope he don't got the cigarettel habit."
At length the elevator arrived, and Jake, the s.h.i.+pping clerk, carried out the brown paper parcels comprising Feinholz's s.h.i.+pment.
"If that's the last I seen of them garments," Abe said as he returned to the show-room, "I'm a lucky man."
"Always you're beefing about something happening what ain't going to happen, Abe," Morris retorted. "Just a few minutes since you hoped Kaskel Schwartz ain't going to be careless about cigarettels, and now you're imagining things about Feinholz sending back the goods."
"Never mind, Mawruss," Abe replied; "in two days' time I shall breathe easier yet."
For the rest of the day it rained in a steady, tropical downpour, and when Abe came downtown the next morning the weather had moderated only slightly.
Potash & Perlmutter Part 47
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Potash & Perlmutter Part 47 summary
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