Accidentally Dead, Again Part 26

"So enter Spiteful Barbie. The one who was never going to dress up and be pretty for anyone ever again," Nina theorized like some undead therapist.

Phoebe nodded with a sad smile. "That summer, everything changed for me. I went the whole nine. Black nail polish, lipstick, thick eyeliner, black clothes, ripped jeans. I did my version of grunge slash goth proud. I didn't shower. I rebelled against a lot more than a bar of soap, too. I was just short of cutting myself. No one really talked to me because they were afraid of me to begin with. Except Mark. He never stopped being my friend-even when he called me an epic fail from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Mark was always my friend."

"So what did this counselor do to change all that? Did he Dr. Phil boot camp your a.s.s?"

"Mr. Macintyre had the kind of family I'd always wanted. A whole family-a nice wife, two kids, a dog, and a big house, a backyard with a tree swing. But he told me something that made me realize nothing is perfect. His son was a meth addict. A counselor's son-one who had so many awesome things going for him that he just couldn't see because he was angry. He made me realize that a family is never perfect and it doesn't have to have both parents in it to make it happy. He helped me grieve the loss of Dad properly instead of bottling it up and letting it explode. That's not to say I don't still have a hot temper-I just get how to control it.

"Techniques and s.h.i.+t, right?"

Wanda clapped her hands. "Techniques, you say, Phoebe? Can we write them down? No. Let's give them their own Word doc.u.ment. We'll laminate it and hang it up on the walls of OOPS."

Phoebe laughed. "Yep. You wanna learn a few, Nina?"

"f.u.c.k no. I just wouldn't be Nina if I wasn't a raving lunatic."

"I wouldn't be Barbie Vampire if not for Nina the Raving Lunatic," she reminded her.

"Heard and ignored," Nina snarked.

Wanda threw her arms around the two of them and hugged them hard. "Good talk, girls. Look at what we've accomplished. But there's still one wee, little matter Nina has to clear up. So while we're all hearing the *Circle of Life' song, Nina, I do believe you have a bit of a secret, too."

Phoebe's eyes narrowed in Nina's direction. "You have a twin, don't you? Good gravy, there are two of you."

Nina's lips pursed. "Nope. But you have a grandmother. Her name is Lou, and if you f.u.c.king upset her even a little, I'll break your Barbie feet. Got that?"

Phoebe's eyes went wide, but then she smiled. A grandmother. Oh, that meant fresh-baked cookies and milk and ...

"And stop right there," Nina warned. "She ain't the kind of grandmother that's breaking out the hand mixer. She cooks once a week, and it's the worst f.u.c.king pot roast you'll ever eat in your entire life. But you'll eat it, spit it in a napkin like I do and pretend Chef Ramsay cooked it, because if you hurt her feelings, I'll beat you like a dirty rug."

Phoebe's fingers trembled. She had a grandmother ... "Wait. She's not a vampire?"

Nina flicked Phoebe's hair and made a face. "No, moron. She's a little old lady who likes game shows, b.u.t.t-a.s.s ugly Hummel figurines, and those stupid soap operas you dig. She forgets to put her teeth in her head, like, all the time, and she refuses to let Greg and me move her into the castle to live with us because she's probably more stubborn than twenty mules. She likes her things, as she calls them, and she won't part with s.h.i.+t. Even though we have enough room in that tin can to fit a small Guatemalan village. And she has no idea we're paranormal. None. Don't f.u.c.k that up."

Phoebe grinned. She didn't care if Lou liked naked poker.

Nina cackled. "She likes that, too."

"What?"

"Naked poker. It makes me want to yark my lunch, but there it is, yo. She has a group of cronies she hangs out with at the senior center, and the geriatric cruise director caught her organizing a game of naked poker last year. Jesus, it was embarra.s.sing."

Wanda giggled, putting her hand to her mouth. "You should have seen it, Phoebe. When Nina told Lou it was strip poker, Lou scoffed and said why waste time at her age praying for a losing hand when they could just start out naked?"

Phoebe didn't even care that Nina had read her mind. She wanted to know this person. She wanted to belong. "Can I meet her? I mean, will it be too much? I don't want to upset her."

Nina's white teeth glowed in the darkened bedroom when she smiled. "She raised me. There isn't a whole lot that upsets her. She's a rock. So, yeah, you can meet her. Which means I'm handing the pot roast torch to you, cupcake. We'll swap days every other week. If you're not on time, she makes you clean her dentures. It's nasty s.h.i.+t."

She was going to be enough of a surprise. She'd wait on telling her grandmother about Penny. "I promise not to mention Penny."

"The f.u.c.k you won't," Nina protested with a frown and a crack of her knuckles. "It's not the kid's fault she's jacked up, Phoebe. I know people are a.s.sholes all the time about s.h.i.+t like that. But that won't ever happen as long as I'm around. Stop f.u.c.king hiding her because you think you have to protect her from us. Besides, Lou'd clap you in your head if you didn't. Lou'd wanna know about this. She's no pansy-a.s.s. She'd never forgive you if you didn't tell her her Joe had more than one kid. She'll be shocked, but she's a tough old bird."

But the reality of their situation crept back in, tainting her joy at finding out she had a grandmother. "Well, if things go south, you won't have to worry about giving up your pot roast night."

"Nothin's goin' anywhere. Believe that s.h.i.+t," Nina a.s.sured her.

A brief knock on the door made them all turn around. Sam poked his head in, his face still as hard and unforgiving as it had been twenty minutes ago. He tipped his Stetson up to view them. "Ladies? We have a location for where Phoebe was. Now we need a plan."

Phoebe couldn't stop herself from visibly shaking.

But Nina put her palm over Phoebe's hand and gave it a squeeze before rising. "C'mon, kiddo. Let's go kick some freakazoid a.s.s. I got another sister to meet."

CHAPTER 17.

Everyone gathered in Sam's living room with the kind of tension you could taste on your tongue-each one of them locked and ready to load like coiled springs.

"So here's the score," Sam addressed them, his face openly hard and determined. "You were at O-Tech today, Phoebe." His eyes briefly touched hers before resting on the group.

Nina slapped her thigh. "But we searched that d.a.m.n place up one side and down the other. How the f.u.c.k?"

Sam lifted his Stetson and scratched his head. "According to Stinky, and some plans he found for O-Tech dating back to the late sixties, O-Tech had underground tunnels running beneath it. They were sealed off as some kind of hazard a long time ago before it was O-Tech-or so everyone thought. Apparently, it wasn't a big deal to knock out one d.a.m.n wall to gain access. It was just one d.a.m.n wall, and if that security guard hadn't woken up when he did, we were two b.l.o.o.d.y feet from it," Sam growled. "Either way, I think I also have the answer to the initials Meredith wrote on my memo-pad. TBD is the owner of O-Tech. Whoever it is, they bought the company back in late 2008. Total takeover. Stinky's still working on what those initials mean, but it's when the wall was knocked out. Stinky found some records from a wrecking company in Jersey that did the job. I'm going to take a leap of faith and figure the person who bought O-Tech had the wall removed."

"And all this to create vampires. Who the f.u.c.k is crazy enough to want to be a vampire on purpose?" Nina asked in wonder. "I gotta ask myself if they realize they'll never eat another chicken wing again."

Sam planted his hands on his hips. "You don't think for one second the government wouldn't if they could get their hands on something like this, Nina? I can think of a million different people who'd take the opportunity. But for right now, I'm not as interested in motive as I am in finding the crazy b.a.s.t.a.r.ds and finding out what Phoebe and I have to do to keep from ending up dead."

Phoebe sat silent while Sam spoke, watching him in all his FBI element. His face was sharper, tension filling each muscle movement in his jaw. His eyes were hawklike and intense, his posture rigid and taut like an arrow just waiting for its bow.

He was virile and smart-and all the goofiness was gone. The succinct edge to his words, the defined way he explained things wasn't anything like the Sam she'd gotten to know.

Yet, it added a whole new element to her fierce attraction to him. One she had to set aside for now-in lieu of that crazy thing called death.

Wanda popped up from the couch, tucking her knee-length sweater around her slender waist. "Have you figured out how they did this, Sam? How they managed to find a way to manufacture vampires?"

Sam rolled his tongue in his cheek. "Stinky found some antiques dealer in Lafayette, North Carolina. I don't know how he does what he does, but he traced the origins of the original formula these freaks have back to this guy's store. The guy sold this recipe for vampire to a woman who paid cash for it. The antiques dealer had no idea he was selling anything more than an antique. This formula, or whatever you want to call it, was in some old jewelry box in a hidden trapdoor. Stinky says it's some ancient relic written in bits and pieces of a language that's a linguist's wet dream. Some pretty powerful people hunted the black market for years to find it. And this woman just walks in and buys it like it's toilet paper. His description of her was pretty vague-blond and hot could be anyone, so we're SOL there. All I have is a picture of the jewelry box-but when Stinky did a search on it, that's what he came up with. Archaeologists speculate the jewelry box is just an urban legend."

Phoebe s.h.i.+vered, though she managed to ask, "So someone, in essence, cracked this ancient code and started making vampires."

Sam's nod was curt. "It would have to be someone pretty rich. It takes a lot of money to hire linguists and create the kind of labs you described, Phoebe. I've got Stinky searching those initials right now to see if they match anyone with that kind of liquid cash available to them."

"Any word on the name of that man I saw today?" It was all she could do to speak the words. Darnell came up behind her and placed a gentle paw on her shoulder.

"Nothing yet," was Sam's grim response.

"So now what, Sam?" Wanda asked around her fingers-fingers that Phoebe detected a slight tremble to.

"Now, I go in."

"Not alone, brotha. Ain't no way ol' Darnell's lettin' you jump into that batch a crazy without backup. Not happenin'. You might be a bada.s.s, but you only one bada.s.s. I'm like two bada.s.ses fo the price a one." He smiled, patting his belly with a wink.

Sam shook his head with a firm "not a chance." "No. No one else but me. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the love, but I'm the one trained for this kind of thing. Add in my vampiric powers, and I'm more than enough to take them on and take them out. All of them."

But Wanda was the first to voice the most important factor of all. "Yes. We absolutely have to go in and get that poor elderly gentleman Phoebe told us about. But to what end? You can't go in there and take everyone out, Sam. I know you can't call your buddies in on this and have the abominations simply arrested for fear those men will give Phoebe away. But you can't just aimlessly kill them or we may never find what we need to reverse this, Sam. You need one of those Dr. Frankensteins to give you an antidote."

"If there even is one," Phoebe muttered without thinking. "Obviously, project Build a Vampire's been a bust so far."

"I'll bust a head until someone figures it out," Nina gritted.

Fear crawled back up Phoebe's spine as yet another realization hit her. Really, where would she be these days if she didn't have some good old terror to munch on at snack time? "But what if you black out again?"

"Yeah. So it's settled. Me and Darnell go with-and don't f.u.c.king try to pull the brave FBI guy s.h.i.+t with me," Nina said. "You need someone there if you flip out, Sammy. I'm the biggest, baddest b.i.t.c.h in the land. So when do we go in?"

"No way I'm letting you go alone," Phoebe said, though the words were wobbly-it wasn't happening without her. She wasn't going to sit here and wait to find out if they'd killed Sam and her sister just so they could save her. Who was she to be granted the gift of eternal life while everyone else sacrificed?

"Sit, Phoebe," Sam demanded as though she were his subordinate, pointing to the chair.

She stiffened her spine, pus.h.i.+ng past Nina and Wanda to confront him. "No, Sam. The h.e.l.l I'll sit by and let you all be slaughtered! I'm going with you. I know you think you're the best candidate because you're a trained bada.s.s, but you won't be so bada.s.s blacked out on a floor. Or have you forgotten Alice Goodwin's? I'd bet, with all the maniacal genius they have running around in that place, and after I showed up there and they know I'm one of their creations, they've got plenty of people just waiting to take you out. The more manpower the better."

Sam shook his head-the kind of shake that brooked no argument. "You will stay here with Wanda, Phoebe. You'll stay or I'll make sure you stay, and you won't like it."

A spike of anger shot up her spine. "Who do you think you are? You can't tell me what to do! This isn't some FBI sting where you call all the shots, and I'm not your peon!"

Sam's face went dark, and as good as she was getting at reading emotions, he was on his last strand of patience. "I'm the guy who knows you have a sister who needs you, Phoebe. If I'm slaughtered-it'll only hurt my parents for a little while. But they're self-sufficient, and they don't need me to take care of them. Penny needs you to take care of her because you're all she's d.a.m.n well got. And don't forget one little thing. They only know you're a vampire. You'd be the weakest link. But they don't know about me or Nina and Darnell. Now quit wasting my time with your bravado. Sit down. Shut up. Do not open that mouth of yours again. You will stay here, Phoebe-even if it means I have to knock you out to do it. Final word."

Phoebe's eyes flashed hurt, angry, indignant, but Nina was quick to grab her by the arm, swinging her around with a jolting shake. "Knock it the f.u.c.k off, Phoebe. Sam's right."

"What good will I be to Penny if I do the ashes to ashes, dust to dust thing?" she shouted, yanking her arm from Nina's grasp.

For the first time since she'd met Nina, her face had a plea on it, and it stopped Phoebe cold. "Because if Sam finds something to stop this and he doesn't get out-if I don't get out-we've got Darnell to bring whatever the f.u.c.k it is back to you. I did this to you, Phoebe. If anyone bites it, it should be me-it will be me. And if we don't come back, then you've got a s.h.i.+tty job to do. Go see Penny one last time and tell her people who will love the living s.h.i.+t out of her are gonna take real good care of her. You can't let that happen without seeing her, warning her. She'll be afraid if you don't tell her who Wanda and Marty and the others are. I won't have her afraid, Phoebe. Not anymore."

Penny. It was the surest way to make her sit up and pay attention. If something happened to her, and she didn't have the chance to tell Penny, she'd never understand that Phoebe would never leave her if she didn't absolutely have any choice. She'd rehea.r.s.ed the going-to-heaven speech a million times when she thought Alzheimer's was going to rob her of her mind. And she'd been the one to tell Penny their mother was gone in much the same manner.

Phoebe's eyes instantly went hot and grainy, her trembling fingers ran over them, and her voice hitched when she turned to Wanda. "You'd take care of Penny for me?" The words squeaked from her lips.

Wanda's eyes, always so clear and alert, were filled with unshed tears. She cupped Phoebe's face with her soft hand. "Of course I would, Phoebe. We all would. She'd never want for anything. She'll always, always have us. She'll have more uncles and aunts than she can shake a stick at, and a grandmother I'll make sure she knows. She'll eat pot roast and watch soap operas and the Game Show Network, and Lou will love her to pieces." The last words were directed at Nina, who lifted her chin and averted her eyes.

"And don't you worry none 'bout that park," Darnell said, his voice thick. "Ain't n.o.body gonna talk smack 'bout Penny round ol' Darnell. 'Cause I'll set their overalls on fire."

Phoebe reached for Darnell's hand and brought it to her cheek, closing her eyes. "Thank you," she managed to whisper. Then her throat became so tight, she could only shake her head. These people didn't know Penny. They weren't even really related to Nina-yet, they extended themselves, gave of themselves so selflessly, so openly that if this did all end, Penny would be surrounded by people who weren't just invested in her physical well-being, but in her soul's well-being.

Squaring her shoulders, Phoebe manned up, but she still avoided Sam's eyes. "Okay. You're right. I'll stay."

Nina knocked her in the head with a flat palm and smiled. "Good Barbie. Now quit with the doomsday s.h.i.+t and wish us f.u.c.king luck."

Instinctively, she knew Nina would never stand for a sappy outpouring of emotion-or a long, tearful good-bye. Instead, Phoebe tugged either side of her hoodie, praying she could keep her tone calm and level. "Don't go and get whacked, okay? It would really suck if you didn't have the time to like me even more than you already do. And you owe me a game of Mystery Date. Maybe even a Barbie Dream House playdate." Trailing a finger across her sister's cheek, she smiled.

Nina grabbed her finger, giving it a gentle squeeze before brus.h.i.+ng it off. "I'm never gonna like you, Baby Sister Barbie, and the only thing I owe you is a round of Rock'em Sock'em Robots, so I can vicariously beat your a.s.s without being ha.s.sled by the PC paranormals in my life. You need to feed. So go find Arch and get the f.u.c.k out of my hair."

Before taking Phoebe's hand, Wanda reached for Nina, wrapping one arm around her neck. "You don't come back? I have to hunt you down in the afterlife. If you think I'm the burr in your saddle now? You don't want to know me if I have to move heaven and earth to find you in my heels. Got that, Mistress of the Dark? Be safe. And kill those vile b.a.s.t.a.r.ds." Pressing her cheek to Nina's for a mere moment, Wanda closed her eyes and inhaled, then led Phoebe off toward the kitchen.

Sam, bent at the waist, placed a gun in his sock. No matter how angry-no matter how hurt she was that he was going out of his way to extend the life of her punishment for not giving him a chance to explain-no way would he leave here without one last thing.

Placing her hand on his back, Phoebe knelt down in front of him and cupped his face, her eyes filled with so many things she'd like the opportunity to say to him someday. "Don't go ruining my chance to fall in love with you by kicking the vampire bucket. Got that, Sam McLean?" She didn't give him the chance to answer. Instead, she pressed a fervent kiss to his lips and rose to follow Wanda into the kitchen without looking back to gauge Sam's reaction.

It didn't matter. It only mattered that she'd unabashedly shared her feelings. No one was leaving here without clarity.

Yet, each step she took away from Sam on feet made of lead quite possibly could be the one step that drew her closer to losing him forever.

THEY stood outside the steel and gla.s.s walls of O-Tech. Snow had begun to fall in thick flakes, sticking to sidewalks and making visibility low. Heavy drops of moisture slapped at Sam's face, adding an irritated edge to his pre-mission jitters. Jitters he couldn't shake.

He'd done this kind of thing a hundred times before. His gun was locked and loaded. He'd gone over the mental version of how this would play out. He'd briefed Darnell and Nina as if they were his own men, with verbal diagrams and orders. They had a loose plan. Who needed a tight one when you were a vampire? The plan didn't allow for every possible scenario, but statistics and probabilities had to fall further down the list of priorities in light of the imminence of the situation.

The only thing left was to just do it.

Yet, the stakes were much different this time. This time it wasn't just some hostage's life on the line-someone he only knew on paper via details and a thorough though impersonal investigation.

It was Phoebe's life, and in turn, Penny's future.

And there was no way around the gut-wrenching fear he was fighting with each inch that drew them closer to the end of this chaos. No doubt, these people had to be taken out. No question, he'd have no qualm being the one to do it.

But what if they didn't find the answer they so desperately needed? What if the heinous death Meredith had suffered was inevitable for Phoebe?

His jaw hardened. Then, by h.e.l.l, it wouldn't be before he took out the f.u.c.k that was responsible.

Regret stabbed at him. He should have told Phoebe how he felt before he left. He should have pressed his lips to hers one last time-savored the fullness of them. Told her that no matter what, he'd make sure she lived. That he wanted to live, too, so they could explore this new life they had to live together.

But words weren't something he was good at. Sam the Entomologist was much better at them.

Sam the FBI guy had secrets and private horrors and the occasional night sweats.

Nina clamped a hand on Sam's shoulder, her face grim. "How much time do we have, Sam? Did Stinky tell you how long it's been since Alice and Meredith had been turned before they bought the golden ticket? And don't sugarcoat the end game. Just f.u.c.king say it so I know what we're up against."

Sam looked at his watch, then down at Nina, his lips a thin line of bleak. "If what Stinky said holds true as far as the records go for us like it did the others? I've got a couple of hours max. Phoebe? Maybe another twenty-four. I don't know how the symptoms begin or if it just blindsides you. But who knows-maybe the strain of this vampire virus has grown stronger in us." Hopeful, Sam. Very hopeful.

"Or weaker," Nina spat his fear out loud.

"So we goin' in to kill-or we just gonna have some fun with them-maybe hand 'em over to the clan?" Darnell asked, cracking his knuckles. "I don't like the killin', but I'll do what we need to to shut 'em down. They know 'bout us-wouldn't surprise me t'all if they'd give us up to yo superiors to make a deal to save their wussy hides. Cain't have dat, now can we?" Though it was the truth, Darnell's face still betrayed his concern over taking another's life.

It was clear he was pained by the idea. It was all over his round face. An odd predicament for a demon, and if Sam had more time to dwell, he'd ask Darnell how that had come to be.

Instead, Sam ran a hand over the gun at his waist in a familiar gesture. "It's a case-by-case situation. If you have to take them out, Darnell-do it. Don't hesitate. They wouldn't. Nina, you, too."

"Okay, boss," Darnell agreed with a grim nod. "So we better get on up in there 'fore somethin' worse happens. The second you get in there, ya think me up. I'll be right behind ya."